Benson's Memoir
by LEArtemis
Summary: Follow the life of Olivia and Victoria Benson after the uneventful start they seemed to have. Just a compilation of one-,two-,and (maybe)three-shots set in past, present, and future time. If you haven't read 'Surprise, It's a Secret' a highly recommend you do before reading this compilation as it will make more sense. Olivia/OC PAIRING!
1. Noah's in trouble

_**Noah's in trouble**_

I was still working as liaison between the FBI and the unit. More and more cases rolled through everyday. We continued to see brutality at every corner we turned but it was the sanity that my kids brought upon me that kept me grounded; my kids and my wife, Lieutenant Benson; the five most amazing things that had happened in my life since entering and now having left the WitSec program. I went from Victoria Thalia Paige Reyes to Mariel Alexandra Marti back to being a Reyes to now being a Benson. To this day I still couldn't believe it.

We were all standing in front of the one-way mirror, watching as Rollins and Carisi worked a perp. He had an issue with women in power. He loathed them, so Olivia had sent them in and then she was to come in and see if the perp would finally talk once Olivia left with Amanda. The vibrating of my hand took me from my thoughts, glancing at the screen I recognized the number as Noah's school. I furrowed my brow; the kids' schools had never called us for anything, what could possibly be going on?

"Dr. Reyes-Benson," I answered.

" _Hello, Dr. Benson, this is Principal Sellers. I have your son, Noah here with me,_ " she mentioned.

Panic settled in my stomach as I walked to the bullpen, "Is—Is he alright? Is he hurt?"

" _No, no, actually Dr. Benson, would you and your wife mind coming in?_ "

"Uh," I looked back, noticing Olivia had entered already the interrogation room, "Actually Principal Sellers, my wife is unreachable at the moment, would it matter if it would just be me?"

" _No, not at all. I shall see you soon then,_ " she mentioned as the line went dead.

I gathered my blazer that had been shed due to the heat of day whilst I yelled back at Fin that was still standing in the hallway, watching the interrogation go down, "Fin, tell Olivia that I was called away, please. I'll see her home tonight," I mentioned as I briskly left the bullpen.

I was the one that kept our SUV most of the time. Olivia had her unmarked vehicle in case she got called away in the middle of the night or if any emergencies happened. I left the precinct and made the short ride to Noah's school. I parked and made my way through the school. It was only then that I noticed that it was barely ten in the morning; the kids hadn't been in school for a long time. We had all left the house just a couple of hours before, what could possibly be going on with Noah?

"Dr. Benson," greeted me Principal Sellers' secretary, "she's waiting for you, please go through."

I nodded at the woman and made my way through past her desk and knocked on the principal's door, "Doctor," she said as she stood, "It is so great to see you."

"Same here, Principal Sellers," I glanced at Noah who had his eyes on his navy chucks, his hands fidgeting on the hem of his khaki shorts.

"Doctor Benson, the reason you're here is because Noah punched another pupil and injured his nose but neither boy will say why the other did what they did. So, disciplinary action will be taken against both with suspension for three days until one of them decides to come forward."

I looked at Noah, who still hadn't raised his head from his lap, "I see Principal Sellers, well, I apologize for this behavior. I'll attempt to get to the bottom of this and call back with any news," I nodded to the woman as I stood, "Come on Noah, baby, let's get you home."

And, that's when I saw that he had tears formed in his eyes. I needed to get to the bottom of this. Noah wasn't usually the violent, angry kind. No matter how much his siblings pushed his buttons, he always remained calm and collected. The drive back to the apartment was silent; I kept glancing through my rearview to the silent form in the back. He was upset, that was clear but the question remained, why? The drive was short from the school to the apartment. I parked in our spot and opened the door for Noah in the back, much like his mother; he would come to me when he felt the need to. As he made his way to the car door, he caught my eyes, "I love you Mama," he said softly.

"I love you too, sweet boy," I said, stroking his cheek.

We walked towards the elevator and made it up to our unit. Upon entering, Lucy was sat at the breakfast bar, giving the twins their mid-morning snack, "Mama," they shouted in unison.

"Tori," Lucy said, after all this time, she had still remained at our side, "what are you doing here? Noah?" she said as she noticed the boy behind me.

"Uh, he wasn't feeling too well. Go to your room, baby, I'll be there soon," I directed at Noah, "You're good to head out if you'd like, I'll work from home today."

"Oh," she said, "thank you Tori," she said. She gathered her belongings and left.

"Hey babies," I said to Hunter and Hudson, kissing their cheeks, "what are you eating?"

"Gwapes!" Hunter husked in his gravelly voice, "And cheese!"

"I see," I said, as I smiled to him.

"Mama, Noah sick?" Hudson asked, his mouth full of cheese.

"Yea baby, he isn't feeling too well," I explained as I finished closing their zippy-cups and sliding them to the boys.

"He need hug?" Hunter asked.

I smiled at the boy, my children always the ones to be so affectionate and loving, "I think that would make him very happy, what do you say?"

The boys looked at each other and smiled, "Yes!" they shouted in unison.

I lower them from their high chairs and grabbed each of their little hands with one of mine and we made our way to his room. Thankfully, his door was open. The twins look up at me and I nodded and smile as I let their hands go. They both ran to their brother and jumped on his bed, "Noah, don't be sad," Hunter began as he nestled on his brother neck, "I wuff you," he finished.

Hudson kissed his cheek and hugged his neck. Noah just looked up at his door and locked eyes with me, "Whenever you're ready sweet boy," I said softly from the door, turning and giving the boys some much needed time together.

I left to the living room and sat, turning on the TV, and sitting down with my laptop. I needed to do some work before the boys became rowdy again. I figured they were all napping. This was their usual naptime, right before lunchtime. I worked for several hours when I felt a head of hair against my arm, instinctively I reach with my opposite hand and rubbed its head: Noah's curls.

"Hey baby," I said, closing my laptop and turning to wrap my arms around him, "did you have a good nap?"

He nodded against my chest, "Mama, I'm ready to talk about what happened today at school."

I rubbed his shoulder and held him at arms length, "I'm all ears, sweet boy."

He sighed and looked at me, "Everyone at school knows that I have two moms and none of my friends really care but today, after you and Mommy dropped me off at school, Dylan started saying that all of us were going to hell because kids should have a mom and a dad not two moms or two dads. And, Mama, I was so upset because he kept saying that we were all bastard kids and that that was way worse," he was heaving and crying.

"Shh, shh," I ushered him, "Noah, baby, relax for me. Breathe baby, breathe," I coaxed softly.

He was beginning to settle and everything hit me at once. Someone was bullying my child for having two mothers but this was not just him, this came from his parents; adults. Ignorant adults that were feeding this to their child, "Noah, I want you to listen to me. Whilst I applaud that you stood for your mother and I, baby, hitting someone is not always the best thing to do. Remember what Mommy says about violence?" he nodded, "Well the same applies here. Next time, just find a teacher or someone you trust who's an adult and let them handle the situation. No one should be talking about anyone's family. All families are different, sometimes you can have a mommy and a daddy; like aunt Lexie and I. Sometimes you can have just a mommy; like Mommy. Or you can have two daddies; like Lyle and Curtis from down the hall. Not all families are meant to be like others, we're all different and that's what makes us all beautiful. Ok?"

He nodded and blinked some more tears off his eyes, "Are you going to tell Mommy?" he said, his lip quivering slightly.

He was giving me his puppy dog eyes and my heart melted at the sight. I smiled and nodded, "I have to buddy but I'll tell you what, you're not going to be punished Noah. Mommy and I will talk and Mommy will have a conversation with you later on. Whether it is today, tomorrow, or the day after; Mommy will have her conversation with you. Ok?"

The boy nodded and hugged me, "I love you Mama."

"I love you too," I said, kissing his hair, "Now go wake your brothers and we'll have a tapas lunch and go pick up your sister. She's bound to get off soon."

The boy nodded as I cleared his face of any remnant tears. This was the hard part of parenting, dealing with things like these.

I made the boys some bruschetta slices with tomato sauce and mozzarella and sprinkled some cut bacon on top of it for their tapas lunch and while they ate, I called Noah's principal and explained the situation. She was glad to know that he had finally opened up and that repercussions were to be taken against Dylan Proud. What repercussions those were, she did not disclose those and I didn't ask either way. We ate and at three we left to pick up Cassidy. We had made Thursdays take-out day and Olivia was usually the one to pick it up and bring it over. Cassidy was shocked when she saw that the twins were in the car, she was only used to seeing Noah in there because I was the one to always pick them up, unless Lucy took her own car to pick them up when I was tied up with a profile or a patient.

She sat in the back with Noah and they mumbled about something when Cassidy shouted through the cabin, "What?"

"Cassidy Jade," I shouted, bringing my hand to my chest to will my heart rate down, "Why are you shouting?"

"Mama, did Noah tell you about what happened at school today?" she asked, concerned about her brother.

I smiled and shook my head, "Yes he did and not a word to your mother until I speak with her, understood?" I looked through the rearview, locking my eyes with hers.

She nodded and the subject was dropped.

Back at home; Olivia had beaten us to it. We entered just as she was about to call someone, my guess, Lucy. She put her phone down when the twins ran to her squealing at the sight of her. She knelt and picked them both up, peppering kisses all over their little faces. Cassidy used this moment to hug my waist, saying her proper hello to me and to Olivia. Noah just scoured to his room, wanting to avoid all contact with his mother. His actions didn't go unnoticed by the brunette, she glanced at me and I smiled at her and blew her a kiss.

Dinner and bath time went as normal as possible. Cassidy talked about her latest adventure at school. The twins babbled and mumbled about their day and what they ate for lunch with Noah and I. Olivia opened her eyes at such statement and glanced at Noah, the boy simply hung his head and avoided her gaze. After the kids were put to bed, we reconvened in our bedroom. She snaked her arms through my waist and placed a kiss on my neck. I melted into her touch, flushing our bodies together, "Liv, we have to talk baby," I said, breathily.

She hummed and continued attacking my neck. I moaned at her ministrations, Christ this woman was to be the death of me, "Talk," she said against my skin.

Her tongue ran my pulse point and I bit my lip to suppress a moan, "Liv, Noah got suspended," I moaned as she bit my skin.

"What?" she growled, turning me in her arms, "Noah what?"

I closed my eyes and breathed hard through my nose, willing my body to concentrate, "He got suspended, Olivia."

"Why?"

"He broke a kid's nose today at school," I uttered quickly.

Her eyes widened and she gritted her jaw, "He what?"

"Liv," I chided at her sudden deafness.

"No, Victoria; he knows how I feel about this. I don't want him to be violent. I don't want any of our kids to be violent. There's too much of that shit that I see at work for it to be happening in my home too," she shouted.

"Olivia Margaret Benson," I admonished. She stopped in her tracks and raised her eyebrows at me. She knew I only used that tone with the kids or when she had done something remotely wrong in our marriage, "Are you going to let me tell you why?"

"I don't want to hear it Tori. Nothing you say justifies wh—"

"Mommy," a sweet voice came from our doorway. Cassidy and Noah were standing hand in hand, "I know what Noah did was wrong but please listen to Mama," Cassidy pled for her brother.

Olivia looked at Noah and Cassidy then she looked at me with a guilty stare as she rubbed the back of her neck, "Fine," she acquiesced as she sat on the bed.

I waved the kids in and sat across from Olivia, Noah in my lap and Cassidy between Olivia and I. I explained to her the facts of the event and her gaze continually fell upon Noah. He had only done the correct thing, the thing that we had taught all of our kids: to stand up for themselves and others who couldn't do so for themselves. She closed her eyes as I finished what Noah had told me once.

"Noah, sweet boy, I'm sorry I got upset," she begun, "but you know how I feel about you being violent."

"I know Mommy but I just got so angry when Dylan was saying all that stuff about you and Mama. Then he said all those stuff about Cassidy and my brothers and—"

Olivia stopped the boys rambling by pulling him from my lap and into her embrace. She hugged him tightly and kissed his head. She whispered inaudible words to Cassidy and I but we could see Noah nodding. She held him at arms length and spoke, "You're not punished, sweet boy. Just please next time go to Principal Sellers, okay? And you too, young lady," she directed towards Cassidy, "If anyone is giving you trouble go to Principal Mullins. I don't want to hear anymore suspensions and my kids breaking kids noses, understood?"

Cassidy and Noah giggled, "Yes Mommy," they said in unison.

They kissed us good night and returned to their rooms, closing the door behind them. Olivia smiled at me and bit her lip, "Yes Mrs. Benson," I said playfully, noting her impish stare.

"Nothing Mrs. Benson, just staring at this beautiful woman," she said, scooting closer to me.

"Oh really, what makes her so beautiful?" I played.

"Her grey eyes," she said.

"Oh really?" I played it off, "I prefer them brown," I said leaning in and capturing her kids in a searing kiss. God, I love this woman!

* * *

Reviews are appreciated! Oh, and leave me your thoughts and ideas on what you'd like to see next. :)


	2. Date Night

_**Date Night**_

"What's for dinner, Mama?" Cassidy asked.

"Uh, shrimp and sweet plantain boats," I replied to her, smiling down at my side where she was standing.

"Yum," she says, as she eyes what I'm doing.

I titter as I finish plating everything. Olivia and I had a date planned for tonight, so it would just be the kids and Alex by them selves. They loved spending time with Alex just as much as Alex loved spending time with them and when we were all together, I had five children instead of four. A knock on the door snatched me away from my thoughts, "Can I get it Mama?" Cassidy asked.

"Just ask who it is before opening, please."

Cassidy walked to the door, "Who is it?"

" _Your godmother_ ," I heard Alex's muffled voice.

A turn of locks and a squeal later, I see my best friend walk through with Cassidy clung to her body, "Hey Lexie," I say, as I turn to the bar and set the plates, "Noah, Hunter, Hudson; dinner," I shout towards the living room.

Alex sets Cassidy down and pats her bottom as she walks to me and places a quick kiss to my lips, "Tori," she begins, "Go get ready, I thought you and Olivia had a date."

"We do, but I wanted to get dinner ready for you and the kids first," I say.

"A-tie Lexie," Hudson squeals as he sees the blonde, running to her legs.

Hunter looks up and releases Noah's hand and runs behind his brother, "A-tie Lexie, A-tie Lexie," he collapsed on Alex's free leg.

"Hey boogers," she quipped, kneeling to their level and scooping both of them with ease, "how are you?"

"I good," Hunter begins, "I use potty now wiff Hudson. We big boys!"

"What?" she says looking at me, "When did this happen?"

"We like Noah," Hudson said, pointing over to their big brother, "we no use smelly dapper," he finishes scrunching his nose.

Alex giggled, "What did Mommy say?"

"Mommy sad we big boys," Hudson continued.

"She cry," Hunter interceded, "but we say even if big boys, we wuff her and Mama and Cassie," he finished.

"Oh, are you going to love me too?" Alex asked, pouting her bottom lip.

"Yea," they both said in unison.

I walked to them, "You better, because Auntie Lexie loves you both very much. Now, who comes with me to walk over to the highchair?"

The boys looked at each other, silently communicating, "I go Mama," Hunter said in his gravelly voice.

Alex turned her hip and Hunter leaped into my arms. We walked towards the highchairs and sat the boys in. I gave Alex a plate for her self and they all began eating. I left them to their own volition as I showered, exfoliated, and prepped for my date with Olivia. Roughly forty minutes later, I emerged back to the kitchen clad in a sleeveless, high neck burgundy dress with flowy skirt, heeled ankle boots, and my black knee length coat. The kids were enchanted by my outfit, as was Alex. Minutes after, Olivia walked in and made her presence known in the living room, where we all were, clad in a long sleeve, calf length floral pattern dress with dark undertones, cobalt suede pumps, and her hair parted down the middle in soft, loose waves.

The kids jumped and ran towards her, each spending a minute with her. She peppered kisses on their faces and heads, she hugged and tickled them, making them squeal and laugh in contentment. Alex followed suit, placing a quick kiss on her lips and telling her she looked beautiful. We stood in front of each other, smiling and staring at one another, taking in the beauty in front of us… My wife sure was sight!

"Mrs. Benson," she uttered, taking a step closer towards me.

I hummed in response, "It's Dr. Benson, ma'am," I quipped.

"Ah," she said, throwing her head back slightly, "Dr. Benson, may I take you out tonight?"

I tapped my chin with my forefinger, pondering, "I don't know, what my wife would think?" I said smiling, looping my arms around her waist.

"Oh, forget your wife, she sent me instead," she replied, biting her lip.

I shook my head and leaned in for a kiss, "You look stunning, Liv," I conceded, looking down between us at her ensemble.

"So do you," she awarded, "shall we?" she said, motioning towards the door.

I nodded and turned, focusing again to my surroundings. The kids had completely ignored us and Alex was too drawn in with something the twins were telling her. We bid our goodbyes to the kids and to Alex and went about our way. We made it a point to take time to spend together, even if we were just sitting around the apartment, we needed our time as a married couple. Plus, I loved this side of Olivia, the romantic side; the side that no one ever got to see, the one that was only reserved for me. Down in the underground garage we had already made it to the Suburban and had fallen into comfortable, companionable silence. Our fingers played with one another as we snuck playful glances and flirtatious smiles to the other.

Ever since we were engaged, Olivia found comfort in playing with my engagement ring and after our wedding day, I had found comfort in playing with hers. I slipped into a flashback of our wedding day and how beautiful Olivia looked in her simple gown. The look on her face when she saw her ring and wedding band was one I would never, ever forget.

" _Alex, do you think she'll like it?" I mentioned to the blonde for the umpteenth time in the day._

" _Victoria, for crying out loud, how many times do I have to tell you? She'll love it!" she said, chuckling at my nervousness._

" _Well," I contemplated as I looked at the two-carat princess crown cut diamond with pave band and matching infinity band that I had set to be soldered together, "do you think she'll mind that the gold does not match?"_

 _Alex snickered, "That only matters to you, Victoria. Plus, I thought you said you bought the infinity bands to match."_

" _I did, but," what_ _ **was**_ _I really nervous about though, it's not like Olivia was going to leave me at the altar if our wedding rings didn't match in color, right? It was the sentimental value behind it all, "still, mine's in rose and hers is in white."_

" _You'll be wife and wife, regardless of the color of your wedding set," came the voice of my mother._

 _I turned and smiled, she looked stunning in her pale yellow dress jacket and dress paired with her pearls gold sling back shoes. Olivia and I had a spring wedding almost a year after our engagement and decided upon mint and pale yellow for our colors._

" _She's right Tori," Alex mumbled from the mirror as she adjusted her mint chiffon dress, "I've been trying to tell her that Vivian, but she's not listening."_

" _Stubborn one, isn't she?" my mother mumbled towards Alex, "Victoria, darling, the rings are an amulet meant for the rest of the world, to solidify your unit for mankind. If tomorrow you were not to wear your rings, does it mean that you're not married to Olivia?"_

 _I hated when she was right. I breathed out slowly and smiled, "You're right Mother."_

 _She leaned in and kissed my cheek, "Always, never forget it," she mentioned as she turned to leave, "Finish up, Olivia and her captain are ready, as is your father."_

 _Those words, those words spiked up my nerves. If it weren't for Alex, I wouldn't know what to do. I could hear the music that signaled for Olivia to walk down the aisle with her captain at hand. Cassidy was meant to be both of our flower girl and she couldn't had looked more beautiful in her tea length pale yellow dress. Noah, our ring bearer looked equally as stunning in his ivory suit with mint accents. My father looked as handsome as ever and so did Alex and Amanda. We each decided to have one male and one female standing up with us at the altar. Olivia had chosen Amanda and Fin and I had chosen Alex and Marshall Romo, the man who had nearly given his life in lieu of mine. As I walked down the aisle, I scanned the seats. People from my past and present sat there, my children were there, people from the precinct as well and Olivia's buddies from different precincts as well as one of her old partners whom had made it in with his children and mother were at our side. Olivia looked absolutely beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I didn't even notice when we made it to the altar until my father's lips grazed the skin of my cheek._

 _The ceremony followed beautifully, nothing could've gone wrong and even if it did, it didn't matter because I had Olivia and our kids and they could make everything better. As Noah brought forth the pillow that housed the terrarium with Olivia's rings and my wedding band, Olivia couldn't help but catch her breath at the sight of what soon would be hers. Her eyes watered as a smile played at her lips once I was able to slip on the set onto her finger. She eyed it for a few seconds before it was her turn to slip my band on. All throughout the reception, it was all she could do. We belonged together now. She was as much part of myself as I was of hers and the diamond on her fourth finger and the diamond in mine was proof of it all._

"Baby, we're here," Olivia gently said for what I guess was the third time, "Where were you just now?" she asked, concern dancing in those chocolate eyes of hers.

"I'll tell you inside, huh?" I awarded, smiling at her softly.

She nodded as we exited the vehicle, the valet personnel happy to assist us in getting out of our car. We walked inside of the restaurant, "Benson," Olivia utters to the hostess whom smiles and leads us through the restaurant and sits us right in the middle, quickly handing us the menu and wine list, "I'll give you ladies a couple of minutes to look over our menus and your server should be with you shortly," Olivia and I nodded our thanks and as she looked over the menu, I looked at the wine list.

The wine list was extensive, sporting wine bottles ranging from forty to five hundred dollars. Olivia always let me choose what we were to drink; she trusted my knowledge and certain selectness when it came to the beverage at play. As I'm settling for the bottle of choice a young man approaches our table, "Ladies," he addressed us, "my name is Christian and I'll be your server today, have you decided upon your beverage on this night?" He said, filling our water glasses.

Olivia looks at me and smiles, "Yes, we'll have a bottle of your 2014 Primofiore, please," I smile as I hand over the wine list menu.

"Excellent choice," he said, retiring the wine list, "Will you need a couple of more minutes with looking over our menu?"

"Yes, please," Olivia chimed in.

The fellow retired and I reached and grabbed Olivia's left hand, fiddling with her wedding set, "I was lost on this day on our way here," I said, snapping her attention to me, "on the way you were lost in trance with it and how nervous I'd been prior to have given it to you," I smiled, still playing with the set on her finger, my thumb caressing the skin underneath it.

Olivia smiled that beautiful smile that had the capability of bringing me to my knees; "Why were you nervous and why am I just now hearing about this?" she chuckled.

"I swore my mother and Alex to secrecy," I said, rolling my eyes and batting my lashes.

"Ah," she said, nodding, "am I going to be sworn into secrecy too?" she said, flirtatiously.

"I'm sure I can keep your silence in more ways than one," I replied, my stare fixed on hers.

Her eyes darkened as I spoke, "Is that so, Doctor?"

I chuckled, "Yes it is, Lieutenant," I said, biting on my lower lip.

Christian returned with the bottle I had chosen for the evening and he placed both glasses to my right side. He placed the bottle on our table as he expertly maneuvered to open it. He poured a sip into my glass and swirled it, handing me the glass in return. I took the sip and smiled at the eminent blend as I nodded to our server who proceeded to pour us a full glass each. He left us once more as we decided on what to have for the night, "Baby, that is really good wine," Olivia conceded.

"I know, it's a beautiful blend. We should get a bottle or two for the house, what do you say?"

"How much is the bottle?" She asked.

I stared at her with a smirk on my face, "Olivia," I playfully chided. She wondered and worried too much always in our selection of wine. It all started when I brought a five hundred dollar bottle to the house for our anniversary. I had told her then and I would continue to tell her until the day that I died that money wasn't an issue when it came to little pleasures for us or the kids. It wasn't like we always splurged but when we did, she most often than not would get nervous and antsy.

She rolled her eyes and swallowed the sip she had taken, "I know, I know, I was just asking this time. I promise," she mentioned, squeezing my right hand in her left.

"It's vintage, it depends on where you get it. There are some retailers that will sell you a bottle for sixty bucks and others for one hundred and twenty five; it depends."

"I'll spend them, this is really good," she smiled, "So," she breathed out, "ready to swear me into secrecy?" she playfully mentioned.

I sighed, taking another swig at the wine, "I was nervous because, I thought you were going to hate the set," I finished, hiding my eyes and going to retire my hand from hers.

She stopped me by holding tight, "Hey, look at me," she said softly, "Why would you think that?" she continued as my eyes landed on hers.

"They don't match," I said matter-of-factually, like it was so obvious.

Olivia tittered, "Was that all your concern?"

"It was and it is, Olivia. They don't match in color or shape. The only thing that matches is our infinity band and not really, mine is rose and yours is white," I was beginning to get fidgety, after three years of marriage.

"Tori," she mumbled, smiling at me, "want to know something? A secret of some sorts."

I sighed and couldn't help but smile at the playfulness my wife was exuding, "Yes, of course," I finish, smiling.

"I chose rose gold for your engagement ring because of what it represents, not to have you worrying your mind about whether or not we matched, Victoria. Plus, between yours, mine, and the terrarium box where they lain, we have the perfect trinity that I believe every marriage should have."

"I'm listening, Lieutenant, what do they represent?" I say, raising my left arm and thumbing my ring as I did the same with hers.

"Well," she said, leaning forward and taking a sip from her glass, "white gold represents friendship; which we had from the beginning and it should be the foundation of every great relationship. It's a clear representation that you truly _do_ know me, Tori. Just ask yourself, why did you pick this ring for me?" She paused and gave me time to think. I had—initially—chosen a radiant cut diamond and was about to settle for the ring that I had in my hands but it didn't scream Olivia enough so I had told the jeweler that I was to return later that afternoon with a decision on several radiant cut diamond rings but as I was exiting, one of the clerks had brought a display out of princess cut rings and the one Olivia now presented was the one that screamed at my soul and after having it in close proximity with my own engagement ring, they had paired beautifully and it was the one I had settled for.

I smiled at her as a call to continue, "Yellow gold symbolizes fidelity and if memory serves me right, on our first year anniversary I gifted you 'hers and hers' dual hearts pendant that neither of us seem to take off in gold. You have my heart Victoria, I am yours until the end of time," she said smiling, flipping her hand over and lacing our fingers together, "And, rose gold represents love," on instinct I looked down at my own left hand that sat on my lap, tears threatening to fall.

I used my left hand to wipe at the rogue tears that had since fallen down my face, "I love you too, Liv."

She chuckled and we took a sip of wine, her hand tightening slightly on mine, "I love you more, Victoria," she winked at me.

I giggled and bit my lip, holding my smile as I watched the incredible woman in front of me. I understood what she attempted to convey, my ring was just a color but what the color symbolized to her was what held meaning. And, in combination with her ring and her gift to us, we held the three valuable things that both of us had mentioned in our vows to each other: friendship, loyalty, and love. Always love.

I pulled her hand towards me and pressed my lips to her knuckles, watching as her chest inflated with air, "Ready to see what's on the menu?"


	3. Date Night, 2

_**Date Night, 2**_

"Ready to order, ladies?" Christian asked as he returned to our table.

Olivia looked at me and I nodded, "Yes, I'll have the Roasted Pork chop with the Summer Squash contorni."

I watched as Olivia bit her lip and handed the menu to our server, "And, for you madam?"

"I'll have the Orecchiette with Broccoli Rabe contorni," I mentioned as I handed my menu to the young man.

"Excellent, I'll go put these in and will be back shortly with your orders," he mentioned as he made his self scarce.

Olivia and I had been flirtatiously looking at each other the entire night. It was always like that during our dates or time together. It was something I loved about the brunette, those eyes were able to relay such emotion, fire, and passion that I never tire of watching them dance across my face as they settled on my lips or down my body to my apex or when she didn't think I was looking, on my bottom. I snickered at the thought as she pushed her hand through her hair.

"What's so funny?"

"Just thinking of how your scrutinizing gaze starts and stops on certain spots on my body, nothing much," I finished, shrugging.

"Kind of like yours does on my midsection?" she said, biting the tip of her tongue and smiling.

I laughed heartily, throwing my head back, "You know your hips, thighs, and ass are my favorite part of your body, Liv," I said, grabbing the stem of my glass, bringing it to my mouth and stopping midway as I placed it once more on the table, "Actually, your body as a whole is my favorite part."

She nodded in agreement, "Oh, I know," she said, ducking her head, "you can't seem to keep your hands to yourself."

"You have to understand Olivia, I just can't," I said, laughing, "I… I j—… Jesus, Liv!"

She snickered loudly, "My favorite part: your marvelous use of the great English language."

I opened my mouth, feigning hurt, "Olivia Margaret Benson," I said, slapping the hand atop the table, "I'll have you know I make great use of the English language and the Spanish one too!"

She had a hand on chest, attempting to control her laughter, her head thrown back as she caught her breath, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You just looked so flustered attempting to communicate how my body makes you feel, I just couldn't. I needed to make fun of you for a little while. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry," she finished, fanning her self and taking a sip of water.

"Yea, we'll see how your body makes you feel when you're sleeping in one of the twins' bed or with Cassidy or Noah. You remember that Benson," I said, smirking at the brunette across from me.

"Oh," she grunted, "you wouldn't!"

"Try. Me."

"I'll push the twins to our bed and makeshift a bigger bed out of their twin sized ones. We'll both hate each other in the morning but at least I'll sleep without being woken with a slap or a kick," she mentioned.

She had a point you know; those kids were the worst sleepers in the planet. I knew this beforehand, I carried them and once they had started moving, punches, kicks, and general movement could be felt and seen on my belly as the babies inside me shifted around, "Fine, I'll take you as my bed partner any day."

"Good, I wouldn't want it any other way," she granted.

We fell into comfortable silence once more as we waited for our food. Once our dishes arrived we wasted no time in devouring the meals. We shared forkfuls here and there, Olivia of her pork chop and I of my pasta. Everything was delicious at the Italian restaurant. It was well known and highly recommended in Chelsea but very difficult for anyone to get a reservation. She would've had to plan this a month in advance in order to have a reservation for a Friday night and at the time she had requested too, it was nearly impossible. We finished our meal and our server retired our plates and offered us the dolci menu. Olivia and I looked at each other as we finished draining the last of the crimson liquid and I flaunted the menu in my hand.

She sighed and thought about it, "May I choose?"

I nodded and handed over the laminated sheet. She bit her lip in thought and once she was sure of what she wanted she waved down our server who was not far at all. She whispered in his ear what the dessert would be, "Two spoons please," she was sure to mention before he retired the empty bottle of wine and refilled our water glasses. We played with each other's hands as we waited for dessert. I thought about asking her how had she come across this reservation on such short notice but I figured that was something it would have to wait while we ate dessert. As we're wordlessly flirting with each other, I feel a tap on my shoulder, "Victoria Reyes?"

I turned and lifted my head to the man standing next to me, "Yes?" he seemed familiar but I in reality wasn't paying attention to him. I was too mesmerized by the beauty across from me.

"I don't know if you remember me but my father, Abelard DuPont and your father are great friends. You remember me, yes? Bastien DuPont?" He mentioned, holding the button of his jacket.

Of course I remembered him, he had dated my sister for a couple of minutes and then proceeded to fawn over me and had continued to do so until I "disappeared", "Of course, Bastien, how are you?" I extended my right arm, which he took and kissed my knuckles. I could visibly see Olivia tense at the other side of the table.

"I am marvelous and yourself? You look beautiful, might I add," flattery, how charming of him.

I hummed, "This is Olivia Benson, my wife. Baby, this is Bastien DuPont an old childhood friend," as I finished, Olivia extended her right arm as well. Politeness and pleasantries ran in old money families, he took it and kissed her knuckles as well.

"Wife?" he cleared his throat.

"Yes, wife. We've been married for three years," I mentioned, smiling over at my brunette lover.

"Your father mentioned kids but not marriage," he attempted to be smug. I knew what he was trying to do.

"I'm sure he did since he _owes_ my life to the Lieutenant who saved it. He doesn't ever not speak of Lieutenant Benson, my marriage, and his grandchildren," I smiled at the man standing next to me.

"Oh," he said, taken aback by my statement, "I j—just thought…"

"I'm sure you did," and at that moment, Christian returned with our dessert, "If you'll excuse us Bastien, we'll return to our dinner. Send my regards to Abelard, I'll have to stop by Wall St. one of these days, see if I can get him to sign a grant," we all chuckled.

"It was a pleasure to see you Victoria, Olivia," he mentioned as he bowed slightly, "Have a beautiful rest of your evening."

Olivia and I nodded our thanks and I breathed out in exasperation, "Buttermilk Panna Cotta with blackberries," Olivia mentioned as she pushed the dish towards the middle of the table.

I bit my lip and smiled, "This looks delicious," I said as I grabbed my spoon.

I was expecting Olivia to grill me about what had just happened but I knew that was coming afterwards. She needed time to gather her thoughts and make a plausible argument before presenting it to me. That's how it worked and I was much grateful for that. She wasn't the impulsive type like I was. Whatever I was thinking, I would say; especially to her. In my field of work it was different, I had to be methodical and careful in order to not regress or reset someone. We ate our panna cotta with delight and Olivia covered our dinner. We had joint accounts after much battle and regardless of, what was mine was hers as well. I was never nor would I ever be the one to constantly check our bank statements unless it was for the monthly credit card payments and overall auto-pay withdrawals just to make sure everything was correct. Otherwise, I trusted her just like she trusted me.

We exited the restaurant after leaving a very generous tip to our server. Before I was able to signal the valet she motioned for us to go on our walk. Less than five minutes later we stood at Christopher Park, where they had a live band playing jazz. People were sitting on blankets, enjoying the late summer breeze of the night. Olivia and I walked hand in hand, slowly around the park as we enjoyed the soft melodies of the band.

"A penny for your thoughts?" she asked.

I giggled, "I could ask you the same thing, babe."

"What was that about? At the restaurant with DuPont," she said, as we circled the Stonewall National Monument.

I sighed and shook my head; "He dated Vienna when we were younger. Actually, right around the time she was diagnosed with GDD. After they broke up, he came after me and I proceeded to reject him time and time again until I "disappeared". I never gave him the time of day, neither will I ever. He's an asshole but he still thinks that there might be a chance between he and I," I shook my head and leaned closer to Olivia, "Did he make you uncomfortable, baby?"

"A little," she nodded, glancing my way, "especially when he tried to pass the fact that your father did not care for me but I know better. If that would've happened in our first year of marriage, we would've been singing a different tune," she tittered.

"I know baby, I know," I said quickly as I leaned over to kiss her cheek, "Papa loves you as if you were his own. When he calls he asks me about the kids, you, and then if he remembers he asks about me."

She chuckles, "I mean, I am pretty awesome."

I nudged her shoulder, "And full of it too," I tittered.

As we're coming back upon Christopher St. the band was beginning to play 'Don't Take Your Love From Me' by Catherine Russell and Olivia pulled me to where other couples were dancing. She sung the lyrics next to my ear and I couldn't help but feel warm by the embrace this woman had upon me. It was a beautiful rendition by the woman on stage as well. As we swayed to the rhythm of the music Olivia whispered sweet nothings in my ear and stole kisses here and there. We continued to dance to a rendition of 'My Funny Valentine' as well as 'Visions' by Cécile McLorin Salvant. By the time the last piece ended, the crowd erupted in applause as the woman retired from the stage and Olivia and I continued to walk around the park.

We laughed and spoke about our children, about their wit, if they had gotten in trouble with Lucy, or how they were overall. It was something we usually did in bed before going to sleep but tonight we felt like teenagers on a date. We never let go of the other one's hand and at every chance we got, our lips were melded and burning against each other. Our kisses burned, they burned the good way and each time we came apart I could see the burning desire in my wife's eyes. I know mine was apparent too because that wry smirk on her face told me everything I needed to know. She knew exactly how to kiss me to make me keep coming back for more, to keep me right there on the edge without falling or vacillate at the brink. She knew just the amount of pressure, how to manipulate her touch, and just how much of her body I needed to commence the fall but just as I was about to let go, she would pull back and that dance, that back and forth was the thrill of our romance.

Strange as it seems, that was our continuous foreplay. The wordless stares, the sudden brushes of skin, the playful banter, the nudges, the kisses, the moans, and the ragged breathing just led to a sheet burning, sweat sodden, mind-numbing love making session. It was always like that. I prayed it always stayed like that. Yet, here we were, and even if I stared at my surroundings, my mind kept drifting back to her and how good we are together. Not just in bed but as a whole. As mothers, partners in life and in work, friends, and lovers we were great. We each knew when the other was at her breaking point and knew just when to intervene before the other collapsed. But that's not the only place my mind kept going to, I could still taste the sweetness of her of her lips against mine; the feel of her skin as I slid my fingers over her silky smoothness. It was the simple things about Olivia that turned me inside out; but when we kissed, I burned raw. I craved the next kiss; the one that always led to more. It was that kiss that I was waiting for and I was just right at the margin of finding and succumbing our bodies to it.

The feel of her hand on my lower back breaks my reverie, "Home?"

"Home," I husked, my voice a few octaves lower than I had intended it to be.

She scoffed and smiled as she led us back to the restaurant where they pulled our Suburban quickly. Suddenly I remembered, Alex was staying with us, we couldn't do anything if we wanted unless we wanted Alex to tease us for the rest of our marriage. I groaned and closed my eyes, leaning back against the headrest, "What?"

"I was planning on showing you a new set I got at Rigby's today during lunch," I said, purposefully hiking the skirt of my dress high up on my thigh, "but, Alex is staying with us tonight, so I guess it will have to be another time."

Olivia swallowed and smirked, "No she's not, Tori."

"Liv, you're not seriously thinking of kicking Alex out at this time of the night," I mused. Olivia had never done that and will never do that, what was she getting at.

"No baby, I told Alex that after we left to take the kids back to the her place and that we would be over for breakfast. We have the apartment for ourselves," she said, stopping at a red light.

"Oh really?" Olivia nodded, "Well, in that case, I'm definitely making you wait until you we're home to see what's underneath this dress Mrs. Benson," I said, breathing hard close to her, my lips barely touching the skin below her ear.

Olivia moaned and breathed hard, "I'm driving you know."

"Yes, but I trust you with all my being. I know you're not going to kill us, Liv," I finished, placing and open mouth kiss to her neck.

She groaned loudly, her body gently reaching that overdrive that I loved. The way she would be so carnal and primal with her sounds but when it came time to touch each other, it was the tenderest touch known to man. The way she would worship my body and gradually devoured it was an art form of its own. I knew I was playing with fire when I reached for her thigh and bunched the length of her skirt until all I could feel was smooth olive skin. I moaned at the feel of her toned thigh underneath my hand, "Liv," I whispered, trailing my hand closer and closer to her junction, gently squeezing her skin as my tongue darted to feel her pulse point.

"Fuck," she husked, groaning and willing her erratic heart to slow down. She was right where I wanted her; I could finally pull back before anything else happened. I nipped her flesh and accommodated my body back in my seat.

Her chest rose high and fell low as she drove carefully through the busy streets of Manhattan. She chuckled and shook her head as she bit her lip. She knew I was teasing and for that, I was definitely going to have to respond but that's why that first orgasm was always so intense and feral. That's how we wanted it to be. But afterwards, everything slowed and we eased into a more loving pace. We took our time with each other. Our bodies were made of a secret language and we discovered a new meaning, a new word, each time we searched. We had miles upon miles of skin yet to be discovered and in all honesty, it was a journey we bowed to take slowly. There was no rush and even if time ran out, we still had the comfort of the skin already traveled.

Once in the underground garage of our building, the ride up to the elevator was a battle for dominance. Our tongues fought, our hands fought, our bodies fought, we fought… but that was still part of the lingering foreplay. The feel of my skin tingling as Olivia kissed her way along my neck generated too much heat and passion until the anticipation hurt. Then I gave her more; roaming her body and connecting in an erotic dance as old as time. Together we would build such incredible intensity that could climax into the most amazing pleasure ever experienced.

She did that to me. Only her.

Inside our dwelling we began shedding our clothes from the foyer. I never knew a craving until I met Olivia Benson. The way she shared her love with me was incredibly sensuous and deep. I savor every tantalizing caress, every pleasurable moan. I was addicted to her scent, on how her body communicated with mine. Our bodies spoke loud and clear before, during, and after. Everything I did, her body reacted and it would tell me that it liked what I did and how I did it. Oh, Olivia, let's play some more because, I love what you're saying.

Let your body talk to mine some more, Olivia.

I craved it.

I needed it.

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated! Oh, and let me know what you'd like to see next! :)


	4. Uh oh, Mama's sick

_**Uh oh, Mama's sick**_

(Olivia's POV)

"Hey, Liv," Amanda said as she walked through my office door.

"Yea," I said, looking up from my computer screen.

"Could you call Victoria over? I think I have an idea of what we might be looking for but getting her approval and another profile would be best," she mentioned.

We were working a case of a serial killer who was on a murdering spree. He or she was killing women old enough to be someone's grandmother but not before maiming and sodomizing them with whatever was available or within reach. Amanda and the rest of the squad thought we were dealing with a man who had mommy issues but it was always better to have the input of the one that was trained for this, "Uh, sure. I'll give her a call right now."

Amanda nodded and exited the office.

I smiled as I looked at our wedding picture that sat neatly framed atop my desk. There was nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for that woman and our children. They were my pride and joy. Who would've thought that me being by myself all those years, struggling with relationships, battling with adoption just to stumble upon Noah and later on Victoria who brought forth Cassidy. After our marriage, we enjoyed a quiet year. We focused on being a couple and better parents to not one but two children. The kids, though used to each other, never had to share us for long. We never lived together prior to being engaged so it was rough for a couple of months but later on, we seemed to fall into a groove with both of the kids and ourselves that seem to work. The day we decided to go forward with having children together was the happiest of my life. All four of our kids brought so much light and joy to my life and she, she made it all better; even when I thought it was not, it was.

I picked up my office phone and dialed the all-familiar extension to the downtown office of my wife, " _Dr. Reyes-Benson, FBI_ " she said, clearing her throat.

"Hello Dr. Benson," I said, smiling.

She gasped and went into a coughing fit. I knew she wasn't feeling entirely well but she was just as stubborn as me if not more and would not budge into staying home, " _Liv, baby, how are you? Everything ok?_ "

"I was thinking how amazing it is to have you as a wife and how happy I've been these past couple of years at your side," I mused, leaning back on my chair.

She chuckled and went into another coughing fit, " _Is that so? You won't happen to be this romantic just because you need me to come up there and run a profile?_ "

"Of course not, baby," I mentioned, "You make me romantic every day but, this isn't a personal call, it's a business one. We _do_ need your expertise."

" _What is it?_ " she asked as she puffed.

"It's the Granny Killer as the media is calling him," I said, rubbing my forehead, "The team thinks it's a guy with mommy issues."

She sniffled on the other side of the line, " _What do you think, Lieutenant?_ " I smiled noting the smirk that must've been apparent on her face as she finished that question.

"I think I want him off my streets before anything else happens. So, what do you say? Care to come in and visit your wife?"

She went into another coughing fit, this time heaving and struggling to catch her breath, "Jesus, Tori; why didn't you stay home this morning?"

" _I'm on my way, baby and, I'm fine Olivia. It's just a cold,_ " she says, " _Besides, it's not like I'm running a fever..._ "

"Yea, well, we'll see about that. I'll see you soon babe, love you," I finished.

" _Love you too_ ," she was quick to hang up but not before I heard her begin to cough once again.

She wasn't ok but there was no telling her otherwise. She was going to do as she pleased and there was no going back. All I hoped for was that she didn't look as bad as she sounded because otherwise, I was going to be forced to do something she hated; establish dominance. I sighed and removed my glasses, throwing them atop my desk, leaning back on my chair and awaiting her arrival. I stood and entered the bullpen, asking my subordinates for an update on the case of the 'Granny Killer'. It was roughly twenty minutes of listening to the facts of the now five dead women and we were all praying and hoping that a sixth one did not appear. One PP was already on my ass and I knew for a fact my team was tired of my temper tantrums and my yelling.

I heard her heels first and then her coughing, "Alright, fill me in," she said, quickly wrapping one of her arms around her center and the other raking through that beautiful long raven mane.

"Doctor," Amanda begun, "I have a theory."

She shot me a glance and smiled. Her smiled didn't show me those beautiful dimples that I adored but the love was always in her eyes, "I'm all ears, Detective."

"Alright," she began, "five women between the ages of sixty five and seventy five, all sodomized and maimed. No fluids, fibers, or prints left on the body or the object that was used to sodomize the victim. They all died of severe rectal bleeding but contents in their stomach suggest that they were either all taking some type of pain medication or our perp gave them pain medication."

I watched as Amanda took the lead, this was hers and Carisi's case. I also watched as my wife sat at the table, suppressing her coughs and rubbing her hand over her brow as if she was easing the pain formed there. She had her eyes closed but as she listened, a smile crept to her face, "And, your theory, Detective?" she asked.

"Well, Amanda and I think we're looking for a man with mommy issues and though he carries a lot of anger, I don't think he has it in him to physically rape them," Carisi added, "I also think that he may have problems with his… uh," Carisi blushed and cleared his throat.

"With his member, Carisi?" Victoria asked; her smile still painted on her beautiful plump lips.

I smiled at my wife's teasing, "Yes."

"Can I see the pictures of the crime scene?" Victoria asked and at that, I shot up from where I was sitting.

"Uh, babe, I don't think that's a good idea. Those photographs are not exactly appealing, Tori," I bargained.

She dropped her hand to her lap and opened her eyes, "And, when have they ever been, Lieutenant? The pictures, please," she finished, extending her hand towards Fin who had them all.

"Liv," Fin inquired, asking for approval.

I nodded and watched him lean in further to close the gap between the photographs and Victoria's hand. She watched them with her brow knit and worrying her lip. If the pictures affected her, I could not tell. Her eyes gave me nothing; no hint of emotion or disgust was palpable on neither her body stance nor face. She coughed, covering her mouth with the inside of her elbow and begun laying out the photographs of each of the victims. She laid them out in sets of three: three of the victim's body, three of the victim's injury, three of the weapon used, and three of the puddles of blood. She then laid them under a pre-mortem photograph all across the table. She stood and rounded the corner, searching for her purse.

Once back, she tied her hair back in a high ponytail—much like she did when we were at home—and begun speaking into her recorder for transcribing purposes later, "This is Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson," she begun, my heart fluttering at the sound of my last name attached to hers, "Manhattan SVU case number 000176554 or as media is calling it, 'Granny Killer'. Victim profile: female, Caucasian, range in eye color, blonde at one point in time," she paused for another coughing fit, "ages sixty five through seventy five. Victims were found in bed, in a puddle of their own blood due to cause of death, severe rectal hemorrhaging. Victims were maimed—left wrist and phalanges broken. Victims were sodomized with any object found with a phallus resemblance. Other crime scene photographs suggest that acts did not take place on place of death, being the victim's bed. Victims are fed NSAID's pre-mortem," she paused the recording and stood in front of her layout of photographs.

"Ready for a profile, Doctor?" Fin asked as he rounded the table.

She nodded and smiled, bursting into another fit of coughs, _I swear, if she has one more of those, I'm sending her ass home._

"Three possible theories, two awarded by lead detectives on the case," she continued with her recording, "Theory One: male, anger and mommy issues, too shy or remorseful to execute the rape. Theory Two: male, anger and mommy issues with erectile dysfunction to carry out the rape," she paused the recording to burst into another coughing fit. This one lasted longer and she heaved and struggled to breathe.

Carisi left to grab a cup of water, "We're going home after this Tori and before you start, I don't want to hear it. I'll call Fitzgerald from the car, understood?"

She took the cup of water and nodded, "Theory Three: female, Caucasian, late thirties to mid forties, anger issues towards matriarchal figure and projects them through maiming and sodomizing her victim. Female prospect is projecting more than anger, she is projecting an event of sorts."

"A woman?" Fin begins, barely giving her a chance to finish her recording, "Are you shitting me?"

"How can you tell?" I asked, obviously surprised and intrigued by her profile.

"I might be wrong but," she clears her throat, attempting to rid her voice of the hoarse tone that has come over it, "they're staged. See these blood stains either in the kitchen or living room?" she pointed at some pictures, "That's where she started the sodomizing. A man won't sodomize only, it is very rare and to have them lie in bed and provide painkillers? That's for comfort; she wanted them to be comfortable even after she did what she did to them. This," she waved her arms over the pictures, "this all reads a woman."

"Victoria, you haven't been wrong with none of your profiles so far. I'm sure this one won't be the exception," Amanda awarded.

"Alright, we have to start looking at this with a fresh pair of eyes. It's already six o'clock guys so let's look at our witnesses and let's canvass once more their neighborhoods. We were looking for a man that nobody had seen but now, we have someone so go out and ask again. Fin, Carisi, get to work on the neighborhoods. Amanda," I directed to my blonde subordinate, "follow me to take her home, then we can go talk to the families, see if any of the women had any constant females in their lives."

Amanda nodded and we all dispersed.

I took Victoria to our home and as promised, I called her boss on our way there. He told her to stay away until she felt completely better and that if I needed help at the precinct, I could always contact him to send him another psychologist or talk to Tori if she was up for it. The kids, upon seeing us enter the door ran to us. Victoria didn't have it in her to tell them no when they asked for hugs and kisses but, it was enough already with her sick, and having one of the kids sick too on top of it all was not going to help. I told them that Mama wasn't feeling all that well and that they needed to stay away otherwise, they'd get sick too. Lucy had volunteered to stay until after the kids had been put to bed to which I was more than grateful. I led Victoria to our bedroom and helped her change into something more comfortable. After I made sure she was settled, I brought her some medicine and leaned to kiss her forehead.

"Baby, you're burning up."

She hummed as she succumbed into the comfort of our bed, "I'm fine Olivia, go. Tell Lucy," she coughed mercilessly, "to come and take my temperature. I'll be fine, go."

I sighed, not wanting to argue with her knowing that even ill, she wouldn't back down. I left our room and told Lucy to monitor her fever and if anything to call either Alex or myself.

* * *

I didn't walk in my home until half past three in the morning. As I opened the door, I could hear the coughing coming from our bedroom. I shook my head and begun my tour of the apartment as I often did when I arrived after the kid's bedtime. I started with Noah's room, making sure he was in his bed and asleep; I planted a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his locks. Next followed our little redhead, she was sprawled all over her bed, her messy bun even messier due to her sleeping habit; I kissed her temple and exited. My tour led me to the twins, they were always tricky; I didn't know in what bed they would be. They could each be in their own bed or Hunter could be in Hudson's bed or Hudson in Hunter's. Victoria had them sleep together, in the same crib until their first birthday when we had them sleep in a bed of their own. It was tough at the beginning but they adjusted. Though, some mornings we could walk in to find that one had migrated to the other's one bed throughout the night. After kissing each of them, I made it to my room where I found Victoria in different attire than the one I had given before I left.

"You're home," she croaked.

"Yea, baby, why are you awake?" I asked, approaching the bed.

"This cough doesn't let me sleep," she smiled, "Go shower, I know you must be tired."

I chuckled, "That I am. Do you need anything before I go in?"

She shook her head, "No, thank you."

I smiled and entered our bathroom suite. I took a much needed relaxing shower before exiting the bathroom. By the time I was out, she was out like a light.

I smiled and approached my side of the bed, lifting the covers and entering it slowly. I rested on my side, looking at the woman next to me. Was it possible that she was even more beautiful when she slept? Or was I being biased? I chuckled and placed my free hand on her forehead, feeling for temperature. She wasn't nearly as warm as she had been when I dropped her off earlier in the evening. Lucy had kept me posted via texts saying that she had been checking her temperature every two hours and that she had eaten a little before setting every one down to sleep. Thankfully, Alex didn't have to be called to step in and Lucy ended up going home a little bit after ten thirty.

I could feel myself drifting off and as I settled down on my pillow, instinctively, her body drew closer to mine. I know she was afraid of me catching something but in all honesty, I'd prefer it to be me rather than one of the kids or her. We were both mothers but the kids saw me more as the 'patriarchal' figure. I was the one that they were wary about when it came down to punishments, I was the one they came to when it was time to convince Mama for an extra scoop of ice cream before bed, I was the one they looked for protection and safety. Victoria, on the other hand, was the 'matriarch'. The kids knew better than to challenge their mom. She had that respect instilled in them and they would seek her when it came to that extra tender touch. Though, no one's to say that roles weren't reversed from time to time and when they did, I would want her a little bit more than I did the night before. Seeing her take charge and discipline our children was one of the hottest things known to mankind. She was stern but fair and she believed that actions have consequences rather than "apologize and call it a day".

I must've fell into deep slumber because I was awaken by the sudden shrill of one of the twins coming from the living room. I groaned and stretched, feeling my aching body responds to the early morning movements. I turned to the opposite side, catching a glimpse of the clock that read fifteen until nine in the morning. I groaned and stretched my arm to my side, expecting to feel it empty, but Victoria's body was still there, deep in sleep. I leaned and placed a kiss to her cheek, climbing out of bed in the process. I approached the open space of our living room, where the kids were sitting and playing whilst watching TV.

"Hey love bugs," I cooed, earning squeals as they ran towards me.

"Mommy," squealed the twins, clashing into my legs. I ruffled their hair and continued walking towards the kitchen.

"Good morning Mommy," mentioned Cass, "we were thinking of giving you extra minutes before waking you both."

I tittered at her exclamation, "We won't be doing any of that. Your mom is not feeling well, so you're stuck with me today, deal?"

Cassidy nodded, "Where is your brother?"

"Brushing his teeth, we're hungry Mommy," she mentioned, holding her stomach.

"Of course you are," I giggled and rolled my eyes.

"Mommy, Cassie eat lot," Hudson said, patting his sister's leg.

"That she does buddy, that she does," I mentioned, picking up Hunter and sitting him on his high chair and doing the same with Hudson, "So, cereal for breakfast?"

"Cereal?" said Noah, emerging from the hall, "I wanted eggs and pancakes, Mommy."

"Uh, yes, eggs and pancakes," Lord help me, today was going to be a long day.

* * *

Reviews are amazing and so are you! :) Please let me know if you have any ideas you'd like me to incorporate.


	5. Uh oh, Mama's sick 2

_**Uh oh, Mama's sick, 2**_

(Olivia's POV)

"Alright guys, let's clean up and everybody head to get changed so that we can go to the park for a little while and give your mom a little peace and quiet, ok?" I said to the kids after breakfast. I was taking them out to the nearby park to have them burn off some steam.

I watched as Cassidy and Noah disappeared to their rooms to get changed for the park and it was only the twins and I, "Ok boys, come on," I mentioned as I walked towards them, picking them up and setting them on the ground.

I walked with them to their room, searching through their clothes for something worthy of the commencing fall weather, "Alright Hudson, come on buddy, you first."

"No Mommy, Hunter first always," he said, sitting on the floor, pouting.

"Baby, it doesn't matter who's first or last Hudson, come on," I finished, standing and approaching him.

"No!" he shouted.

"Hudson Christopher Bailey, get up and let's get dressed or you're staying here without going to the park, you decide."

His eyes watered and he began to cry but he stood, and walked towards me, allowing me to dress him. I groaned and shook my head, _Has it always been this hard to dress these two?_

I finished dressing Hudson and proceeded to dress Hunter who gave me grief because of Hudson wearing blue and him wearing red. I didn't have time to argue with two-year-olds so I just let them cry and they would settle once we were at the park. Noah was first to finish, "Noah, sweet boy, could you pack the thermos cooler with snacks and drinks for you and your siblings? Please."

"Yes, Mommy," he answered.

Cassidy then appeared with a brush in hands, "Mommy, could you brush my hair?"

"In a minute, sweet pea, could you help your brother prepare the thermos cooler with snacks and drinks? I think Mama cut up some fruit a couple of days ago. I'll get changed and we'll leave, ok?" I uttered quickly, making my way towards my room.

Once inside, Victoria had shifted but was still fast asleep. I placed some more medication on her bedside table and left her a note for when she'd waken. I quickly changed and made my way towards the kitchen and checked to see if Cassidy and Noah had packed properly for the park. After brushing Cassidy's hair into a ponytail we all made it down to the underground garage and into the SUV and on our way to the park. The car ride was rowdy and loud, the kids in the back were shouting and discussing whatever it was they were discussing.

Once at the park, the kids had finally calmed down and had gone out and enjoyed the park. They chased each other and other kids. Noah protected his siblings and Cassidy made sure they all stayed together and within ear and eyeshot. As the morning slowly rolled into the afternoon we all settled underneath a tree to eat the snacks that Noah and Cassidy had packed. I settled the thermos cooler in the middle of us and began digging for the food and handing it down to the kids. It was then that I realized, that I made a mistake by allowing them to pack and choose.

"Mommy, are there more strawberries?" Cassidy asked.

"Uh," I mumbled as I looked through the cooler, "No sweet pea, I think Hunter has the last of them."

"Hunter, let me have a strawberry, please," she asked, leaning forward to reach for him.

Hunter was quick and turned, avoiding his sister's grasp, "No, stawberry mine!"

"Come on, Hunts, you have to share!" Cassidy growled.

"No!" he shouted.

"Hunter, share with your sister. She only wants one strawberry, buddy," I attempted to bargain with the boy.

"Mommy, I have stawberries first!"

"Hunter Addison Bradley, give me the strawberries," I said sternly, extending my hand for the Ziploc bag.

His lip quivered but he handed the bag over, "That's what you get for not sharing Hunts," Cassidy said mockingly.

"And, that's why you don't get them either, young lady," I mentioned to Cassidy.

Her mouth gaped, "But, Mommy! That's not fair!"

"You should've thought about that before mocking you brother, Cassidy," I said, attempting to teach a lesson in this.

"Ugh!" she growled as she stood, walking towards the swings.

"Cassidy!" I shouted behind her.

"Don't worry about it Mommy," Noah commenced, "she'll calm down."

I sighed and put away the remaining strawberries left in the bag. I still couldn't believe that they had gotten into a fight over strawberries for Christ's sake. I gave a sheep smile to Noah and handed a juice box to Hunter. Cassidy just swung with her head hung low, clearly upset at what had happened. I left her to calm down, if she was anything like her mom, me approaching her at this instant was going to create a headache for the both of us. Though, Cassidy and I rarely had a dispute or disagreement, she wasn't one to back down when she thought she had the upper hand, much like her mom and her godmother. I just hoped that she pursued a career in law so that she could use her argumentative skills for good instead of driving her mom and I insane.

The boys and I continued with our mid-morning snack. Before we were done Cassidy approached us once more, "Mommy," she mumbled, her head still low.

"Yes, Cassidy," I begun, "Look at me, sweet pea."

She did as bid, "I'm sorry for mocking Hunter. I'm the eldest, I should know better."

"Hunter, do you have something to say to your sister?"

"I sorry, Cassie," he said, his lip trembling, "I share stawberries nex time."

She walked and knelt in between Noah and Hunter, leaning in and kissing his cheek and hugging him.

I sighed and smiled, boy I was glad they had figured this out.

Back at the apartment, I had told the big kids to shower and change and settle in the living room whilst I took care of the twins. After that was done, I excused my self to the room where I found Victoria sitting up in bed with her computer and a cup of what could I only presume was tea, "Hey baby," she said.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

She closed her laptop and set it on her bedside table, "Much better actually, thank you for letting me sleep in this morning," I walked and stood next to her, leaning and connecting my lips to the side of her mouth, "How were the kids?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, sitting next to her on the bed, "When did they become so belligerent, Tori? They've been fighting me on everything."

She chuckled and coughed a little, grabbing my hand in hers, "Baby, they're _your_ kids, of course they're belligerent."

I tittered at her comment, hanging my head and squeezing her hand, "We're going to have to keep Cassidy from Alex for a couple of months. I swear that girl has a prosecutor in her."

She threw her head back and laughed loud and hearty, "Let us pray is prosecution and not defense, otherwise I think you'll disown her."

I looked up and glared at her, "Don't even suggest that. That's not funny, Victoria."

She bit her lip and smiled, "Go shower, I think they're starting to get rowdy and hungry."

I nodded and stood, making my way towards our in suite bathroom. I took a long shower, relaxing under the jets of our showerhead. It had been a great addition to our bathroom by a suggestion from Alex. Stepping out of the bathroom and back into our room, I noticed that Victoria has fallen asleep. She was still not feeling one hundred percent and was trying her best to stay awake to be with us all but her exhausted body had beat her out once more. I slipped out of the room, with the towel hanging over my shoulder as I used the free part to dry my hair out. I walk towards the kitchen and begin preparing some sandwiches and chicken and potato soup for Victoria to eat as well.

The kids were rowdy, rowdier than they've ever been. This wasn't like them. Yes, they tend to be loud but not to the point that I could feel myself growing a headache, "Hey, guys," I spoke loudly, capturing their attention, "what's going on huh? Let's tune it down a little, yes? Mama is still sick and you all are literally steps away from the room. Let's give her some quiet."

"Uh oh, Mama sick," Hudson says.

"Mommy, Mama tummy hurt?" Hunter asks, causing me to smile.

"No Hunter, Mama's tummy is fine. It's her head and throat that hurt, baby."

The twins nod and the big kids seemed to settle down a little after asking for a little quiet from them. After everything is plated, I took a little bit of soup to Victoria before returning to serve the kids, "Baby," I uttered, shaking her slightly out of slumber.

She hummed at my ministrations but soon opened her eyes and locked them with mine, a small smile tugging at her lips, "Hey you, I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"You're not feeling well Tori, it's understandable. Here," I said, placing the bowl of soup next to her laptop, "I made chicken and potato soup, figured you might want something to warm your stomach."

"Oh, Liv," she said, sitting up and resting against the headboard, "I could kiss you," she finished, biting her lip.

I smiled and leaned to place a kiss on her forehead, "I know, I want to too but we'll figure that out later."

She coughed slightly as she reached for the soup bowl, "You're great baby, I love you."

"I love you too," I smiled.

I stayed and watched her eat for a second, until the sudden arguing came muffled through our bedroom door. I rolled my eyes, "I swear, they have been on their worst behavior today."

I stood and exited our room, rubbing my neck. Noah and Cassidy were going at it about the remote of all things, "Noah, Cass; what is going on? Why are you arguing?"

"It's my turn to pick a movie and Noah is hogging the remote!" Cass screamed, the vein on her neck prominent.

"She wants to watch something that sucks," Noah countered.

"You suck!" Cassidy retorted.

"That's enough!" I yelled, "No one is going to be watching anything. Table, now!"

Both Cassidy and Noah groaned at my request and mumbled something underneath their breath but took their seats at the table. I approached the twins and walked them to their highchairs, picking them up one by one and settling them before leaving for the kitchen and grabbing their lunches. I gave them each half of a sandwich and a bowl of soup and they seemed to be eating in peace until Cassidy accidentally spilled her juice and Noah went ballistic. They were screaming and yelling at each other, calling each other names, and I was at my wit's end.

"Enough!" Victoria shouted from the corner, "I've had enough of you fighting all day. Your mother has been doing all that she can to keep you entertained today and all you've done is fight her and each other. I've had enough!" she said, marching to the twins. She picked them up and settled them on the floor, "Hunter, Hudson; room, now."

"Yes, Mama," they mentioned in unison, grabbing their hands and making their way to their room.

"I expect this kind of behavior from the little ones but not from you two," she said, leaning against the table, "Your mother has had it today and is on the verge of tears. Now, you two are going to clean up the table, empty the plates, and wash the dishes in silence. And, once you're done, you're each going to your room and think about your behavior. Once you're ready to apologize for your behavior today, you come find us. Understood?"

Noah and Cassidy were fighting tears. They knew they had been impossible today and though I didn't go into details with Victoria, she could see it in me. I _was_ on the verge of tears. I've had enough of their bickering, of them challenging me, and of their name calling to each other, "Yes Mama," Cassidy said, hopping down from her chair.

"Ok Mama," Noah said, his head hung low.

The kids began clearing the table and I was too in shock to move until I felt her hand on my shoulder. I looked up and smiled at her. She motioned with her head towards the room and I stood, letting her guide me. Once inside, she continued to guide me towards the bed where we enter on opposite sides. Once in the comfort of our bed, everything settled, the wear and tear of the morning settling in on my body, not having noticed how much the kids would wear me out. Not even chasing perps made me this tired. I chuckled at the thought, capturing her attention.

"What's so funny, baby?" she asked, snuggling close to my body.

"How chasing perps doesn't wear me out as much as those four had today," I chuckled once more, turning on my side, and propping my head on my elbow, "Thank you," I said breathily.

She smiled and kissed my nose, "They're usually not that bad, Liv. I really don't know what got into them."

"I have a few suggestions," I attempted a quip but my voice failed me.

She raised her eyebrows at me as if urging me to continue. I shook my head and ran my fingers over the fabric of our bedspread, neatly tracing the pattern on them, "Liv," she whispered.

I looked up and saw those stunning grey eyes urging me to continue, her smile genuine and real. She grabbed my hand and pressed it to her chest, "Please don't think that the kids were acting that way because I wasn't there. They have the utmost respect and admiration for you, baby."

I fought my tears but it was a battle I was meant to lose. They had been threatening to fall since Hunter and Hudson's tantrum this morning. I was frustrated and sleepless, I didn't know what else to do. I broke down and as quick as I did, she was quick to have me wrapped in her arms. She rested against the headboard, my body flushed against hers. My arms were circled around her waist and I could feel her hands rubbing my back and push through my hair. We generally kept an open door policy rule in the house. No door was to be closed unless changing clothes, napping or sleeping, and when "moms" needed a private moment to discuss an important matter.

"Mommy," I heard the voice of Cassidy.

I looked up and there they all stood, hand in hand, and surprisingly, with tears in their eyes. I sniffled and swiped my hand over my face, looking up at Victoria whom had a small smile tugging at her lips. She looked down at me, nodded, and mouthed the words 'I love you' to me. I breathed in and adjusted my body to sit next to my wife, "Come in, what's going on?"

The four of them rushed to climbed the bed. Noah and Cassidy helped each of the twins before climbing in themselves. Hunter crawled over to Victoria, settling on her lap. Hudson crawled over to me, settling on mine. Noah sat between Victoria's and I legs, and Cassidy knelt between my legs, "I'm sorry for yelling at Cassie and calling her names at the table."

"I can be a little clumsy at times," Cassidy quipped at Noah's apology, causing a giggle from the boy, "I'm sorry for telling Noah that he sucked. He's one of the best brothers I have."

"Mommy," said Hudson as he touched my chest, "I sowy for being bwat. I cry when getting dwessed first," he finished, leaning against my chest. I chuckled, knowing too well that either Cassidy or Noah had coached him into saying what he did.

"I sowy too, Mommy," began Hunter with his gravelly voice, "I don't share wiff Cassie my stawberries. I share nex time."

I sighed and smiled, "Thank you guys, apologies accepted," I opened my arms and saw them all fall against my body. They really were great kids.

"Oh," Noah said, "we're sorry too Mama. Mommy told us you weren't feeling good and we still behaved bad."

They all jumped from my lap to their mom's, "Oh, it's ok boogers. Next time, please listen to your mother, ok?" They all nodded.

"We love you moms," Cassidy said.

"We love you too, babies. We love you too," said Victoria, shooting me a wink.


	6. The Granny Killer

_**The Granny Killer**_

After several weeks of continuous searching, following leads, re-canvassing neighborhoods, talking to witnesses, and revaluing crime scene pictures the guys at SVU were at a slight halt. The media was covering the case of the "Granny Killer", extensively, and One PP was letting it rain on SVU's commanding officer. It was always hard with these types of cases, especially when the media sent the public into a frenzy thinking that at every corner you could find the infamous "Granny Killer". We were still looking for that woman to fit my description but the questions still remained, where was she and why was she doing these things? My reverie was interrupted with the shrill of my office phone. _I cannot catch a breath today, Jesus!_

"Benson, FBI," I answered, excluding all type of formalities. By now, if you were calling my office line, you knew what I did for a living.

" _Three years in the marriage and I still cannot believe you took my last name and made it yours,_ " Olivia always, the smooth talker.

I tittered, "Lieutenant Benson, to what do I owe the pleasantness of this call?" I finished, leaning back on my chair, holding back my smirk.

" _Well Dr. Benson, we have a suspect in custody who fits your profile. I just thought, I'd extend you the courtesy of calling you and letting you know that you are more than welcomed to stop by the precinct and work your magic. I mean, that's if you want,_ " she finished.

"Liv, are you serious? You have her?" I asked, completely dismissing the playful undertone my wife attempted to have with me on the phone just now.

" _Yes Tori, she's… something else,_ " Olivia sighed, " _Why don't you come in and we'll brief you._ "

"Has she called for a lawyer?" I asked.

" _No, which is surprising too but let's not jinx it. I'll be waiting for you, baby._ "

"I'm on my way. Call Lucy and let her know to pick up the big kids and I'll call Alex and see if she can relieve her," I finished as I packed my belongings and exited my office.

" _It's already done, Lucy knows. I'll see you here and you can let me know what Alex said, ok?_ "

"Yea, I love you," I mentioned, anxiously tapping the call button of the elevator.

" _I love you more, bye,_ " she ended the call.

I wasted no time in calling Alex. I explained the situation and we were equally excited and relieved that there was the possibility that someone was soon to be charged and apprehended for her wrongdoings. Thankfully, the murders had stopped and we didn't know if it was because the media publicity or because she hadn't found her next possible victim. Either way, I was more than relieved. Four months of searching, four months of crime scenes, four months of questioning, and five families who wanted nothing but justice for their loved ones. I was ready to be part of the interrogation of this woman.

Arriving at the precinct felt like a foreign task at the moment. This was not the same precinct I was accustomed being in. It was quiet and still, as if we didn't have a high profile case going on. As if there wasn't a suspect in this exact same building at this moment. Where was everybody?

"Baby," I heard the smooth voice of my wife.

"Liv," I said breathily, circling my arms around her neck.

She reciprocated the hug by circling her arms around my waist. We held each other for what seemed to be minutes upon minutes. We both knew that if she was our perp, this interrogation was going to be a heavy one and it was going to fuck with the mental health of every single one of us in this precinct. She broke the moment by kissing the exposed skin of my neck and sighed at the gesture as I slowly eased my grip on the older woman, "Alright, so how do you want to do this?" she said, walking us towards her office.

Once inside Olivia's office, through the one-way glass I could see her. She fit the description I had given them originally. Fin and Amanda were in the box with her and Carisi was standing, watching intently how his coworkers attempted to get information out of the woman, "Sonny," I breathed out, "what do we have?"

"Meet Dot Klein, forty-five, single, and is an event planner for a firm in Upper Manhattan. She's incredibly charming, as you can see," he said, motioning at the on going interrogation, "Coworkers say that she's extremely charismatic and very smart about her ways."

"Connection to the victims?" I asked, crossing my arms against my abdomen after flipping my hair over my shoulder.

"All victims were clients of the firm. They all had gone to the firm, at one point of another for help for an event. Whether it was a wedding, a memorial, church event—you name it, one of the victims had been there in the past two years or so," Carisi said, never taking his eyes off of the mirror.

"Ok Tori, how do you want to play this?" Olivia asked once more.

I already knew how I wanted to play this but I had to be careful not to be the one to trigger something in anybody here. These were Olivia's detectives and she knew them more than anybody. After some of the really hard cases, either One PP or Olivia would order mandatory psych evaluations that were to be performed by me and sent directly to One PP. I had been—on many occasions—one the receiving end of great secrets and I knew whom to send in already. Amanda and Olivia were the perfect candidates to talk to this woman, to build a rapport. Amanda due to her ongoing issues with her mother and Olivia due to her almost non-existent relationship with hers thanks to her condition; though to this day, I still didn't know the depth of Olivia's abuse and I was not going to push her into telling me either. She was to volunteer this information all on her own. I knocked on the mirror three times and saw as the Detective and Sergeant made their way towards the door.

"Victoria, you're here," Amanda said, forcing a smile upon her face.

"Hey Tori, baby, how's it going?" Fin greeted.

I smiled at Fin and approached Amanda, grabbing her hand; "I need you in there with her Amanda. I need you to work her."

Amanda looked apprehensive already, I could tell this case was definitely bothering her. She nodded and bit her lip, "Olivia," I said turning, "you too."

Olivia stared at me and I hoped I could convey what I was trying to do through my eyes. I knew she wasn't going to like it but if they wanted a confession, this is how they were going to get it.

Olivia scoffed and smiled to the ceiling, "Are you fucking serious?" she said in the calmest tone ever, "We're playing the 'mommy issues' card with her?"

I felt like shit and have every reason to. I was using these women's insecurities—so to speak—and putting them on blast for the sake of a case. Fuck their feelings, right? No. It wasn't like that. I knew what I was doing, I just needed them to trust me, "Yea, but we're going to play it from another point of view."

"I—I'm not following," Carisi butted in.

I nodded and released Amanda's hand, "Yes she may have 'mommy issues' but I can still trigger those same emotions with a woman in charge. If she's our murderer, she's killing for power or control. Why do you think she offers them the pills?"

"She wants to be in control of how much pain they feel. Son of a bitch," Olivia said, marching towards the mirror, "That's why she sodomizes them. It's not about playing out a fantasy or fulfilling a sexual desire, it's about being in control."

"She's a sadist," Fin mentioned.

"You are right on that one," I said, shooting a sheep smile towards the group of detectives.

Olivia sighed, "Ok, so what do we do?"

I was glad that she was on board and though I could still tell that she was still sort of upset with me, I was comforted by the thought that we would be all right after a conversation where we could unpack some of our feelings towards our mothers. She knew how I felt about mine to an extent. I was still working on my relationship with my mother and though I was grateful to have her with me, I still didn't know how to properly interact with her in certain situations.

The plan was to have Olivia and myself start the interrogation, leading her gently and then retracting to see what we could get out of her. We were all to wear earpieces so that I could communicate effectively with Amanda afterwards. I was to signal her when to approach the hallway door of the interrogation room and she was going to make up a problem and Olivia, as her superior, she was to get incredibly frustrated and yell at her. I was going to attempt to assuage the situation after a few minutes with Amanda just to see the reaction of Dot and I was to leave the room. I was still playing my cards very close to the vest. I still wanted to know what drove her to maim and abuse her victims the way that she had. Something must've happened to her and she was projecting these sentiments back to the world.

More times than not, power serial killers were often times abused as children, leaving them with feelings of powerlessness and a sort of inadequacy as adults. That's why most of them sexually abuse their victims that can lead to a misconception of being labeled as a hedonistic killer but that is where they differ. Hedonistic killers are motivated by lust; power killers use this as another form of dominating and overpowering a victim. Everything had been explained and it was time to execute. Olivia and I walked in through the adjoining door from her office.

"Good afternoon Ms. Klein, my name is Lt. Olivia Benson, sorry to keep you waiting," Olivia begun.

Olivia took a seat on the right side chair, leaving me the one to the left. As we sat I noticed her stare fixated on me. She was studying me. She had probably seen Olivia when Amanda and Fin brought her in but I was the new face, "It's alright, Lieutenant and, who may you be?" _There's that charm._

"Oh, my apologies," I channeled the teachings my mother had worked so hard to instill upon me as an up and coming socialite, "My name is Dr. Victoria," I paused briefly but recovered just as quickly, _I need to try something_ , "Benson, I am a psychologist with the FBI, do you mind if I sit in?" I asked, opening my already doe-y grey stare and smiling.

She leaned back and hooked her right arm on the back of the chair and crossed her legs, "Benson? Are you two… sisters?" she asked, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Oh, no," Olivia answered.

"Oh, cousins then? Because, my cousin Lucille and I always dreamed of starting our own sewing house; she had the most incredible precision when it came to threading a needle but I," she mused, pointing at her chest, "I had the eye for patterns and zippers. Those are the hardest, you know," she prided herself. _Grandiosity, great._

"No, uh, actually," I begun, placing my right hand atop Olivia's left one, my thumb immediately fidgeting with her wedding set, "she's my wife," I mentioned matter-of-factly.

Olivia snapped her head towards me, a hint of shock and amusement in her eyes. Our marriage was not something we disclosed to suspects, especially ones that she was interrogating. I winked at her and smiled. She understood by me doing that, it was something that needed to be done in order to further this interrogation. She squeezed my fingers gently in her hand and brought our hands to her lips, kissing my knuckles gently. Our stares were playful and though trained on each other, I could see Dot beginning to tense. Olivia mouthed 'I love you' close to my skin, "I love you too, Liv," I mumbled quietly.

Dot cleared her throat, "My apologies, Ms. Klein," Olivia said, averting her eyes to the woman in front of us, lowering our hands to her lap.

"And, your superiors are ok with that?" she asked, flexing the fingers of her left hand continuously.

"They are, but we're not here to talk about us and our relationship; we're here to discuss yours with these five women," Olivia mentioned, letting go of my hand and spreading the pre-mortem shots of the victims.

She hummed and picked at her skirt, "Unfortunately, I don't know them. Beautiful women though."

Olivia looked at me and smiled, "Huh, that's strange because all five of these women happened to be on your client list. You managed events for them at some point between the last two years and now. So, do you want to try that again?"

She smiled, "Lieutenant, I plan over one hundred events a year. Do you really think I am to remember these ladies?" she said as she glanced down quickly at the pictures and continued to flex her left hand fingers and manipulate her wrist.

"Could I ask you some questions, Dot? Can—Can I call you Dot?" I asked, leaning forward.

She nodded, "Do you have a secretary or assistant?"

She scoffed, "They're useless and forgetful at times, no."

"So, you handle your pocketbook?" I offered, shrugging my shoulders.

"That I do. It's more of a formality, honestly. I don't need it most of the time," she said, again fidgeting with her skirt. _Again with the grandiosity…_

"Is it safe to say that you can remember, let's say, an event that you may have had a month ago on the third Friday of the month?"

She smirked and turned her head towards me, finally giving me the eye contact I'd been wanting, "Nothing happened that week but the week prior, I had a bridal shower."

I hummed, "What about, twenty-two weeks from now?"

"Oh, I have the most beautiful venue reserved for this lovely and very quaint sweet sixteen. It's going to be absolutely amazing!" she conceded.

I smiled to myself. The thing about people with this kind of personality trait was that, if you got them to talk about themselves enough, they wouldn't realize that they were being psychoanalyzed. No matter how smart they or others thought they were, it was possible. It was always the same, "Wow, that's impressive. Olivia, do you know what you have planned for twenty-two weeks from now?"

"Uh, no. Honestly, I don't even know when that is," she said, chuckling.

"Oh, Lieutenant, don't feel bad," she said, uncrossing her legs and turning on the chair. _Good, good, you're opening up. Good._ "It's a thing I've mastered since I was a little girl."

Her face changed for a moment when she acquiesced that last sentence and again, her left hand became fidgety, "It's a great skillset to have in your line of work, right?"

Her eyes shot up and she smiled, "Oh, definitely."

"What about, twenty-two weeks ago?" I asked, portraying interest in her "talent".

"Oh," she said, bringing her hands to her chest, "I had this memorial service. The mother wanted something done for her daughter's ten-year anniversary of passing. She was picky. We got into it."

 _There,_ I hummed in response and smiled at her. I reached over and grabbed Olivia's left hand once more. Organic instincts kicked in and I began fidgeting with her wedding set as I gazed down upon the beautiful hands of my wife. I could feel myself beaming and radiating such love through the gesture and I could tell Olivia's eyes were on me and so were Dot's. I ran my fingers through my hair, giving the signal for Rollins to perform her act of distraction and I saw Dot beginning to flex her left hand fingers. There's a connection with that and I squeezed Olivia's hand, "You two are the cutest couple I've seen. And, I've worked with a lot of couples in my career but you two," she said, leaning back on the chair, "I don't know, it seems genuine… I had that," she whispered, almost too low to catch but I did and so did Olivia.

Before I could answer, Amanda comes barging in the box with Carisi in cuffs, "Oh sh—I'm sorry Lieutenant, I didn't know you were in here with someone," she mentioned.

Olivia huffed and retrieved her hand from my grasp, "Jesus, Rollins," she ran her hands through her face, "do you ever listen? It's like you do the opposite of what I tell you to do, who's this?"

"P—Perp, I—I'm sorry, I'll go," Rollins said, feeding into the persona I asked her to play.

"No," Olivia sighed, "You stay here and finish up with Ms. Klein and Dr. Reyes-Benson and I'll take…"

"Jordan Dorsey," Amanda finished.

Olivia nodded and exited the box with Carisi in tow, "S—Sorry about that, Dr. Reyes-Benson," Amanda said, hanging her head.

I stood and approached her, rubbing her arm, "Don't apologize, Detective. Please join us," I motioned to the chair Olivia was just using, "Detective, meet Dot Klein."


	7. The Granny Killer, 2

_**The Granny Killer, 2**_

From the moment Amanda stepped into the box, I could tell that Dot was interested in her. Exactly why, I couldn't pinpoint it but I knew that there was a connection made. Now was the time to exit and let Amanda work her way into a confession, "Alright ladies," I began as I stood, "I'll leave you to it. If you need anything, Detective, you know where to find me."

Amanda nodded, "Thank you, Doctor," she said as she gave me a sheep smile.

I tucked my hair behind my ear and exited through the adjoining door to Olivia's office. Once it was locked, Fin handed me the headset that connected with Amanda's earpiece, "Thank you, Fin," I said, giving the man a smile, "Rollins, can you hear me clearly?"

We all saw Rollins nod slowly. We had a clear view of Dot's face, which was exactly what I needed in order to guide Rollins as much as I could into the correct direction in order to have a confession, "Good, uh, open up to her, Amanda. Make her feel comfortable and if you can, relate it to your mother."

Amanda sat up straight in her chair and shook her head. I could immediately tell that this was going to be as difficult for her as much as to Dot but Amanda needed to know that no matter what, whether it was the truth or a lie, this was a no judgment zone and nobody was going to make her feel or treat her differently, "Listen, Amanda, I can tell this is difficult for you and I know I'm asking a lot from you but… you can make something up if you'd like. And, I know for a fact that nobody here will look at you or treat you differently, please know that," I finished, accentuating my words with my hands.

It was a few agonizing seconds of silence before Amanda begun, "I'm sorry," she said, running her hands through her face.

"About?" Dot asked, crossing her legs.

"About interrupting the interview with my Lieutenant," Amanda conceded.

"Oh, that?" Dot said, amusement in her tone, "You are not the one who should be apologizing. Your Lieutenant was out of line for shouting at you in that manner, at least her wife has manners."

Olivia scoffed next to me and I could hear Carisi chuckle, "You know," Amanda mused, "Sometimes, when she yells at me like that… it reminds me of my mother."

Dot tensed for a second but as quick as it came, it left, "Really? How so? Was your mother a shouter, too?" she grinned, flexing her left hand atop her crossed knee.

Amanda chuckled, "Yea, and though I tell myself it's because she wants me to do better and be a better detective, I can't help but think that it's because I'm… me."

Dot uncrossed her legs and leaned forward on the chair, "What ever do you mean, Detective?"

"You're doing good Rollins, she's receptive. Keep her talking and keep her interested," I said, crossing my arms against my abdomen.

"I grew up in the south and for a girl that meant a lot of restrictions. My mother, every Sunday would wake us up at the ass crack of dawn just so that we could start getting ready for Sunday Mass," Amanda begun, "It didn't matter if we were on our death bed, we had to go to church and we had to look our best. Then, on Wednesdays we _had_ to be there too for Bible study," she paused momentarily, "I never got to have that 'normal' childhood where Sundays were to be spent with your family at a park or down the block at a friend's house. No, my Sundays were filled with froufrou dresses and socks," she scoffed and shook her head, "You know, when I turned fifteen, I remember one Sunday she woke my sister and I up for church and told us to shower and get ready and to come downstairs for breakfast, in my dreariness, I got ready. I went downstairs and sat and when my mother saw the dress that I was wearing she told me that I was crazy to think that she was going to let me walk out of her house looking like a harlot and she _ordered_ me to take it off, so I did. I came downstairs in another dress and several minutes after, my sister," she scoffed once more, "was wearing the exact same dress I'd been wearing and I smiled 'cause I knew Mama was going to throw a fit."

"But she didn't, right?" Dot asked.

Amanda shook her head, "No, she didn't. She told my sister that she couldn't look more beautiful and I lost it. I told her that how come Kim could wear it but not I, the dress was mine nonetheless. She said that on my body it looked like I was walking with the Devil but Kim looked angelic," Amanda gesticulated, "I was never enough for my mother. She still treats Kim like she's holier than thou and I'm just the disposable thing on the side. Oh, but I am good for money though."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Detective," Dot said in her most sympathetic voice. It was amazing how she could sound so empathetic but her eyes conveyed a different emotion. It was like she was enjoying Amanda's vulnerability, she felt she had the upper hand and she was not afraid to use it to her advantage. It was sickening to watch.

"Rollins, she has the upper hand," I mumbled quietly, "make her think that she had it better than you."

"Yea, but enough about me," Amanda dismissed quickly, "I'm sure you don't want to sit here and hear how horrid my mother was to me when I'm sure your mother was great to you. You're an only child, right Ms. Klein?"

Dot sat up straighter and flexed her left hand on the table, "I am an only child, Detective but don't be fooled," she said, waving her right index in the air.

"Don't be fooled? I'm a Detective, Ms. Klein, I'm trained to _not_ be fooled," Rollins mentioned and Dot smiled, enjoying the slight flirtatious exchange between the both.

"Did you see that?" I said to both the room and Amanda, "Rollins, flirt with her again. Make it less subtle this time."

"So, what does a beautiful woman like your self do to end up in a police precinct being interviewed by a Lieutenant and a shrink? I'm sure they didn't bring you in to discuss their anniversary," Dot smiled and narrowed her eyes, searching Amanda's face.

I smiled and nodded at Amanda's handy work, "Great job, Rollins."

"Well, they were asking about several clients of mine and though I told your Lieutenant that I didn't know them, I did. I worked very closely with each of them in the planning of their events," Dot leaned back and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, "They were nightmares to be around."

Amanda shifted in her seat, "I know, I know, not yet though. She's opening up, keep her talking… for now," I answered to her body movement.

"Nightmares?" Amanda asked.

Dot opened her eyes and brought her hand down, "Yes, nightmares," she begun, "Take Greta Savelievna," _That's victim number four_ , "I was hired to help plan her daughter's wedding. Being a Russian immigrant, first-generation in the US, she wanted her daughter to have the best of the best in little to no time. We were constantly at it. The more she yelled, the more I shut down internally but never failed to deliver. And, in the end, you know I thought I was going to get an apology from her but no. The day of the wedding she told everybody that the event wouldn't have looked the way it did if it weren't for her that I was just there to 'see things through'," Dot was angry, she was upset at how she'd been treated by Mrs. Savelievna, "They're still paying for my services but I don't know if I'll see a payment now that the _great matriarch_ has kicked the bucket," she finished with a scoff.

"Wow, I—I'm… wow," was all Amanda could say but it was all she needed to say. Dot had already opened up to her and now, no matter what, she was going to answer Amanda's questions, regardless of what they may be.

Dot was attempting to reel in her anger. After all, she couldn't let it show. Not in front of us, not in front of Amanda. She still thought she was in control and still had the upper hand in all of this; it was a matter of playing it correctly. I noticed once more that she was fidgeting that left hand and quite honestly, it was driving me insane not knowing why she did that or what caused it, "Amanda, notice how every time she gets uncomfortable she flexes her left hand and wrist?" Amanda crossed her legs and gave a slight nod, "Touch her, see how she responds and ease the question in."

Amanda was quick on her feet, before Dot could pull the hand away, Amanda grabbed it and the look of sheer terror and shock that dressed Dot's eyes was once I would've paid to see over and over again, "I've noticed you flex this hand a lot, are you in pain?" Amanda said, playing with the other woman's fingers.

Dot had tensed but was beginning to relax the more Amanda had contact with her skin. She released a gust of wind from her chest, her shoulders slumped forward, and her head lulled on her neck; _She's enjoying the intimacy_ , "Detective," Dot husked.

"You can call me Amanda if I can call you Dot," Amanda mentioned matter-of-factually.

Dot smiled and blushed, "No, _Amanda_ , I am not in pain."

Amanda continued playing with Dot's fingers, "Then, why?"

Dot searched Amanda's face, her mouth parted in thought. She shook her head and looked down at their hands, "It's a long story."

"Well," Amanda said, "I'm listening."

She sighed, "Much like your mother, my mother too was a fanatic of church and pushing me into the teachings. My father in the other hand just wanted me to happy but he died too soon for my liking. After my father died, my mother was worse towards me," she paused, "One day, I thought she was going to be working late and I had invited a friend over, a female friend. I knew I was attracted to the fairer sex from a somewhat young age but that wasn't something I could divulge to my mother. She walked in and caught us holding hands."

"Fuck," I mumbled.

"What? What?" Olivia asked, approaching me.

"What did your mother do to you, Dot?" Amanda asked.

"She threw Olive out and told her that she was no longer welcomed in our home," Dot answered, her eyes watering, "She broke my wrist and two fingers in the process. Then she made me go out with this boy in our neighborhood, Donald. It was okay in the beginning until he wanted sex from me," she sniffled, looking away, "He sodomized me."

"Oh, Dot," I said, bringing my hand to cover my mouth. I hated to do this now but it was enough to continue the interrogation. Amanda had done wonderfully, "Close it up, Rollins. You did amazing!"

"You know, Dottie," she begun, releasing her hand and bringing her own to her lap, "all of our victims have a _left_ broken wrist and fingers and they were sodomized. Did you do that?"

Dot looked up at Amanda, her tears escaping and a smile forming on her lips, "Yes," she whispered.

"What happened?" Amanda asked.

"They reminded me so much of my mother. The yelling, the constant nagging, the interminable imperious attitude… I could see it in their eyes," she said, Amanda hummed in response, "In their daughter's eyes, I could see that the behavior exuded during the coordination of the event was something that they'd been exposed to throughout their lifetime. I only did them a favor," she finished, leaning back on the chair and wiping at her fallen tears.

Amanda nodded and snickered, "No, Dot, you did your self a favor. Those girls, their families—they're in suffering. They're mourning the lost of their mother, wife, grandmother… just because of your selfish act."

"Selfish?" she snickered, "Amanda, you're telling me that if I did to your mother what I did to those other women, you wouldn't be relieved that she finally got what she deserved?"

Amanda shook her head, "My mother doesn't deserve that. She never laid a hand on me. Neither did those other women."

"Oh," Dot scoffed, "now who's acting holier than thou, _Detective_?"

"I'm done," Amanda said as she stood, "Is that enough for a collar, Lieutenant?"

Dot tensed as Amanda removed her earpiece, "You fucking bitch," Dot sneered, "were they feeding you everything? Was the pretty little doctor feeding you the lines?"

Amanda turned around with a smile, "I got an admission, that's all that matters."

Dot stood quickly, "Are you letting her fuck you, Amanda? Or, do you have the hots for your Lieutenant?" Amanda tittered and shook her head, "Oh, that's it. You have a mommy complex. You want your Lieutenant to yell and scold you and then fuck you, don't you?"

"Liv, you need to get in there, now," I mentioned to Olivia.

"I don't think that's the greatest idea right now, Tori."

"Now, Olivia!"

As I'm telling this to Olivia, Dot jumped the table and reached for Amanda. Thankfully the Detective was quick on her feet and was able to step to the side and pin her right arm behind her back, "Dot Klein, you're under arrest for the murders of Scarlet Tomlinson, Jules Nash, Edith Colby, Greta Savelievna, and Samantha Cooke-Appleton."

At that moment, Olivia and Fin entered the box. Fin took over reading the Miranda rights, "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they've been read to you?"

"Yea, whatever. Say what you want, Detective but those girls and their families are free now because of me," she said with clenched teeth.

"Get her out of here, Fin," Amanda said as Fin dragged Dot to the holding cell.

Olivia motioned for Amanda to enter her office through the adjoining door. At first, she seemed reluctant but conceded nevertheless. I walked forward, removing my headset and placing atop Olivia's desk, "Amanda," I said breathily, enveloping the woman in a warm embrace. I knew that this interrogation had been strenuous for Amanda and it was a given that she was somewhat uncomfortable with the subject in play but she pushed forward and got the admission out of Dot. From what Olivia and I had talked about at home or during random conversations, Amanda was never good with being coddled but in all honesty, I couldn't help but feel for the woman in my arms. My mother and I never had the greatest relationship and it took me nearly dying for a second time for her to come to terms and step forward and mend our broken relationship. Yes, now, my mother was part of mines and my children's life but even so, it was still hard at times, as she didn't understand certain choices of mine.

Amanda had been hesitant to the hug that she was now trapped in but after lingering moments she had given in to the embrace and as now breathing shakily in my arms. If she was anything like Olivia, the act we were performing was to be enough for her. After being exposed, bore raw in front of her colleagues and to a complete stranger, I was sure she didn't want to talk. At least, not at the moment; she would go to Olivia when time came, of that I was sure about. In the three, almost four years of my marriage with her superior, I'd seen their relationship blossom and flourish. Neither of them was apprehensive of each other anymore. Amanda was always invited to our home and our kids seemed fond of each other in more ways than one. It did Olivia good to have another female in her life, another woman to share the stories that she was—still—too squeamish to open up to me about.

Once I felt Amanda relax in my arms, I let go. She smiled at me and breathed easily, "You did great in there, Amanda," Olivia commended.

"Thanks, Liv," she replied with a smile.

"If it serves for anything, Dot was just trying to rile you up in there," Olivia said.

"Oh," she tittered, "I know. You know my sexual preferences, Liv. I don't think Dot understands that in her troubled mind," she paused, "but thank you."

"You're welcome," I said, meant more as a question than a statement.

Both women chuckled at my addled response, "We wouldn't have done it without you, Doctor," Amanda responded.

"Oh," I said, smiling at them, "it was nothing, really. Just doing my job."

"You did more than that, Victoria," Amanda relented, "Y—You…" she sighed.

I smiled, "You're welcome, Amanda. I'm here for you guys," I leaned in and whispered, "and not just because I'm married to your aggravating commanding officer," I winked as I finished, eliciting giggles from the blonde detective.

As Amanda and I were having our exchange, Olivia's phone rung, "That was the Chief of D's," she said as she hung up, "He wants _mandatory_ psych evals for everybody involved and yes, that includes me, Dr. Reyes-Benson."

I smiled and blinked slowly, "Who's going to do your evaluation, Lieutenant?"

"You," she relinquished.

"T—That's a conflict of interests, Liv. I—I can't," I stuttered quickly, "As per whom?"

"Fitzgerald," she grinned smugly as she approached me. She leaned in and captured my lips quickly, "I'll have the dates for you to perform those evaluations. We'll start with you," she turned to address Amanda, "Rollins."

She nodded and gave a genuine smile, "Yes, Lieutenant," she said as she exited the office.


	8. Family Outing

_**Family Outing**_

"Yes, Alex, we'll meet you at Carmine's," I said to the blonde on the other end of the receiver.

" _Tori, do you mind if I bring a date?_ " she asked, hesitation on her voice.

"Oh," I said, "who is this mysterious woman, Lex?"

" _You'll find out soon enough, Victoria_ ," she chuckled, " _Don't be getting jealous on me, now._ "

I hummed and thrummed my fingers against the breakfast bar, "I don't know, Lex…"

" _Stop it, Tori. I'm fine, I promise._ "

I sighed and closed my eyes, "Ok, ok, I'll see you at Carmine's at seven."

She sighed on the other side; " _I'll see you at seven. I love you, Tori._ "

"I love you too, Lex," and with that the line went dead.

We were preparing for our monthly family outing. It had become a thing to do ever since I could remember. The kids had been running around the apartment and it was time for them to start getting ready, "Cassidy, Noah; shower."

"But," Noah began, "Ma—"

"One in my shower, the other one in the other bathroom, Noah," I chuckled, "Once you come out, you'll have clothes waiting for you in your room. Now, hurry it up. Your mother should be home soon and once she's here, she'll want to take a shower and leave as soon as she can."

Both kids disappeared to their rooms and returned with their towels. Noah took the hallway bathroom and Cassidy bee lined to my mine. The twins were sitting quietly in the living room when I disappeared to each of their rooms, picking and setting the clothes out for them. For the twins I picked jeans, a white button down, a crème and a navy sweater to go over it, and a bowtie that matched the other's sweater. For Cassidy I picked a white blouse, black leather jeggings, a scarf, and her crème pea coat. Last but not least, for Noah I picked a light blue button down, with dark wash jeans, suspenders, and sky blue bow tie. By the time I was done picking out clothes for the kids, Noah and Cassidy had both finished with their shower. I grabbed the twins and gave them a quick shower and got them dressed.

"Mama," said Cassidy, entering the twins' room.

"Yes, baby," I replied.

"Hair, please," she mentioned as she showed me the small storage container that housed all of hair ties, bows, and brush.

"Go wait in my room," I said and as I finished, I heard the door shut, "Mommy's here," I finished with a smile.

Cassidy ran and met her and I could hear a muffled conversation. Then, I heard Noah's voice and once I was finished with the boys, they ran out of the room before I could tell them to not get messy. I shook my head and smiled, everybody loved it when Olivia was home. She brought a special kind of warmth to our home and she was incredibly missed when she wasn't there, "Hey Mama," she said as I came to view.

"Hey baby, how was work?" I said approaching her.

She captured my lips and leaned into my body, deepening the kiss without hesitation. I felt the warmth of her tongue dance across my bottom lip and I smiled, playfully denying her access. She kissed me quickly, "Please," kiss, "Please, Tori," kiss, "Please," she dove in once more, her hands at either side of my face. I gave in to her pleas and granted her access. She was eager, as if she needed me, as if our kissing were a Band-Aid meant to soothe, protect, and heal. The need for air came quick, her kisses always sucked the air out of me. As we parted, she spoke, "Shower?"

I smirked and glanced around us, the kids were sitting in the living room, searching through the channels for something to watch, "Cassidy," she turned and hummed, "let me shower first and I'll do your hair, ok?"

"Yes, Mama," she nodded.

Olivia guided me to our room and we wasted no time in divesting each other for the shower, "I need you, Tori," Olivia said between touches.

"I'm yours to take, Liv. Whatever you need," I replied, raking my fingers through her chocolate tresses.

It was the only thing I needed to say. She was aching for a release, she needed it and I'll be damned if I said that I didn't want it as much as she did. It was a craving that only she could satisfy, one that she could only provide. We stepped into the shower carefully, our lips and hands never ceasing to roam each other's body. I stepped underneath the spray, wetting my body, and watched as Olivia's eyes darken. Her stare lingered everywhere she looked. She needs not to touch me for me to feel her. I ran my hands over my body, carefully lingering in areas that I knew she liked: the hollow on my shoulder, the valley of my breasts, my ilia, and finally; that venerable monosyllable that she couldn't stay away from. She growled, low and throaty as my nimble fingers lingered at my apex and before I knew it, she had swapped our positions. I smiled as I caught her playful eyes.

I dropped to my knees, never taking my eyes off of her, my arms raising and my hands settling at her hips as I sat back on my heels, "Tori," she breathed out, as her right hand came to rest atop my left one.

I knew where she was going with this, she didn't want me to think that she was being selfish but I knew she needed this. She was my wife for crying out loud, I knew if something was wrong with her and whatever it was, she wasn't going to open up until she had processed it fully on her own, "Baby," I said huskily, "let me do this for you, I'm fine," I finished, leaning in and kissing her mound.

I looked up at her expectantly and smiled, she gave me a silent nod of approval and I smirked as I ran my hands down shapely, toned thighs. A shiver ran down her spine and it caused me to smile. It never ceased to amaze me just how much my touch made her quiver and lose control. I repeated the move, this time accompanying with hot, open mouth kisses near her center. Her scent was overpowering my nostrils already, I could tell she was eager, "Vic—" her musing was put to a stop once my tongue connected with her folds. A hearty moan filled the walls of our bathroom and they brought a sense of accomplishment to me. I draped her left leg over my right shoulder and settled further in between her thighs, utilizing all of my might to bring the woman above me on the brink of ecstasy and push her mercilessly off the edge only to have her come back and collapse once more. I ran my hands over her right leg, holding her in place as my tongue lapped furiously through her mound. Olivia moaned and steadied herself on the shower walls. I brought my dominant hand in between her gams and easily eased two fingers inside her, "Oh," she dragged out, as her body gave into pleasure again. I pumped my hand inside her, feeling the droplets of water tickle my skin as they dropped from Olivia's beautiful body.

"Baby," she said throatily, her lips curling into a smile, "Fuck. Me," she mewled once my fingers curled forward to tease that coveted spot that I knew for sure were to bring her to her pleasure.

I giggled at her choice of words, "Am I not doing that, Liv?" I said as I leaned closer and nipped at her thigh.

She squealed and smiled and through clenched teeth she chanted, "Yesyesyesyesyes," her legs quaked as she threw her head back, the water drenching her cocoa locks in the process.

I felt her walls tighten around my fingers and knew her release was there. I leaned once more and captured her bundle of nerves between my lips and hummed for her pleasure. She hissed and slammed her hand against the shower wall. I sucked on her nub twice and felt her crumble at my touch. I eased my ministrations to let her fall slowly but once she was between bliss and reality, I flicked her jewel with my tongue and she gasped for air, cursing at my continuous assault, "Tori, please," she moaned loudly. I nibbled the button gently and caressed the engorged spot inside her walls, "Uhn, Tori," she whispered as her eyes rolled back, pleasure engulfing her being once more. I guided her through her second orgasm and released her nub once I felt her composure filter her body, easing my fingers out of her slowly.

I stood slowly and kissed her lips, letting her taste her tangy nectar on my tongue. We came apart, a smile playing at her lips. I brought my right hand up, triumphantly displaying my reward. She scoffed playfully and bit her lips as I brought my fingers to her mouth. Before I could object or move, her lips surrounded my fore and middle finger, sucking her nectar from my grasp, her tongue seductively parting my fingers, ensuring she savors all of it. I moaned at her hot mouth and hissed once I felt her teeth nipping at my pads and smiled; she was to be my demise. Oh, how I loved this woman! Once she released my fingers, I kissed her once more, this time forcefully but still filled with love, "I love you, baby," I whispered against her lips.

"I love you too," she said, capturing my lips quickly, "I love you, too."

We finished our shower quickly after that and exited the bathroom. I placed my underwear and pampered my body as I called for Cassidy to brush her hair. I did so quickly in a high donut bun and as she exited the master suite, she came across her mother, "Mommy," she said surprised, "You look amazing!"

Olivia tittered, "So do you baby girl, so do you. Go wait with your brothers, we're leaving in twenty minutes."

As Olivia crossed the threshold that opened to our room perse, I got to see her. She looked beautiful in all black. Irresistible. Wanton. My wife could not look more beautiful because honestly, it was not possible. She was wearing a beautiful, black long sleeved dress with Peter Pan collar that fit in skater style; she wore black, sheer nylons, and black calf heeled boots. Her hair was half-up half-down in loose curls and her makeup was done lightly with a Bordeaux lip stain, "Liv," I said breathily, "Baby, you look beautiful."

She circled her arms around my waist, "So would you, I'm sure if you'd be dressed already."

I chuckled as I finished wrapping my hair in a high ponytail, "I will, I promise."

I knew Olivia enjoyed my face better when it was free of makeup. She was vocal about her request and tonight, I would honor it; I was only to wear mascara to give my eyes an even more doe-y look. I clad my body in a Zimmerman white crepe harness jumpsuit and noticed that a bra was not the smartest choice here. I removed my bra and put my strappy white sandal heels on. Olivia showered me with compliments and we were out the door and down to our Suburban where we begun our journey to meet our favorite blonde. As we arrived at the restaurant, I parked the SUV in front of the valet and eased out and handed the keys to our valet guy. Olivia, on the other side, helped the kids get out as I sorted everything at the door.

"Tori," I heard my name and turned, seeing Alex accompanied by a shorter brunette.

I smiled at the giddiness my best friend exuded as she approached me, "Al," I mumbled as they approached us quickly.

The kids, upon hearing the name of their godmother fall out of my lips, rapidly squealed in joyous contentment as they saw the striking blonde approach us. Alex's face changed at the sight of her godchildren, "Babies," she nearly screamed as she picked up Hunter, "oh, I've missed you so much."

I, in the other hand could not stop staring at the hazel-eyed brunette that accompanied Alex. She had a smile on her face but her eyes were dripping in jealousy and disgust, almost, "Aunt Lex, you look cute," Cassidy, always the one with the compliments.

"Oh, baby," Alex responded, "you look cute too. Let me guess, Mama picked your outfit?"

Cassidy tittered, "Yes, she picked all of our outfits."

Alex threw her head back quickly and placed a kiss on Hunter's temple as she set him down and picked up Hudson, "She always makes you all match in color scheme."

She repeated the same movements on Hudson and bent at the waist to kiss Noah's cheek and Cassidy's forehead before she approached Olivia, "You look ravishing in all black, Lieutenant."

Olivia leaned forward to kiss her lips but Alex was quick to turn her face sideways, something that caught Olivia by surprise but she recovered quickly. I already hated her demeanor; she wasn't like this. She glanced at me and offered me a sheep smile and opened her mouth to speak but I was quick to stop her. The cool October breeze was making itself known and I wanted to be inside before we got pleasantries out of the way, "Ok, who grabs whom, monsters?"

They all looked at each other, "Mama, I go with you," Noah spoke as he approached me, grabbing my hand within his.

"Mommy," Hunter husked in his gravelly tone, grabbing his brother's hand.

"You're stuck with me, huh fire engine?" Alex said playfully to Cassidy who simply nodded with a smile on her face.

We all entered the restaurant with the kids, "Benson, party of eight," I mentioned to the hostess.

The young girl nodded and smiled to all of us, "How many children?"

"Four."

She grabbed the appropriate menus and also the wine list and began directing us towards our table. We all sat as we had entered: Noah to my left, Hunter to my right, Olivia followed, then Hudson, next was Cassidy, Alexandra, and the woman. We were at a round table so Noah was next to her as well. The hostess placed the menus accordingly and she glanced at the adults to see which of us would take the wine menu. Alex and I shared a glance and automatically she knew that I was uncomfortable and was not liking this person for one second, "I'll take it," Alex mentioned, stretching her arm towards the young woman.

Not long went by when our server approached the table, "Hello, good evening, welcome to Carmine's on Times Square. My name is Mona and I'll be your server tonight, what can I get you started with?" she finished, locking eyes with the woman.

"Oh, uh," she glanced at Alex and mumbled something underneath her breath, "I'll wait for her to make a wine bottle selection," she said, not giving Mona the decency of eye contact.

Alex was next, "We'll have a bottle of your house wine and I'll have a glass of water with lemon, please," she said, smiling up at Mona and handing the wine list to her.

"Mommy," Cassidy spoke and Olivia hummed in response, "may I have soda?"

I glanced down at my menu and felt Olivia's eyes on me. I smiled in return, never once lifting my gaze, "Yes, you may but once it's done; you're done. Understood?"

Cassidy smiled her thousand-watt smile and nodded, "I'll have Cherry Coke, please," she said to Mona.

"Apple juice, pwease," Hudson said.

"Water with lemon," Olivia answered.

"Apple juice, pwease," Hunter parroted his twin.

I looked up and captured the young woman's welcoming brown eyes, "Water with lemon, as well."

"Mama," Noah said, his blue eyes piercing my soul, "May I have soda as well?"

I brought my hand to his chocolate curls and nodded, "But, like Mommy said, once it's done; you're done."

He nodded and smiled, "Could I have Cherry Coke too, please?"

Mona nodded and smiled at the politeness of the boy as she finished scribbling everything down, "Would you guys like an appetizer for the table or would you just like a few minutes to look over the menu?"

Before any of us could say anything, the woman spoke, "Actually, could we have an order of the portobellos parmigiana and an order of baked clams?"

 _Mushrooms? No, Noah's allergic,_ "Uh," I sat up straight and looked at Mona, "no mushrooms at the table. My son," I said as I brought my hand once more to play with Noah's locks, "is highly allergic."

"Oh, that's right!" Alex said, "I'm allergic too, Tiff," she conceded.

The woman grumbled, "I guess," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, "just the baked clams then."

I chanced a glance to Olivia who simply smiled and released a breath. She knew what I was thinking and she knew what I was doing. I was studying this woman's stance and demeanor towards Alex, my family, and myself and in all honesty, I didn't like what I had seen one bit. She came off as standoffish and glib. Who was she? What were her real intentions with Alex?

Alex cleared her throat once Mona was gone and begun, "Guys, meet Tiffany Welsh."


	9. Family Outing, 2

_**Family Outing, 2**_

"Hey," she said, propping her elbow on the table and waving nonchalantly.

"Honey, meet Cassidy," Alex motioned to the redheaded girl next to her, "Hudson," she continued as Hudson smiled, "Hunter," as he looked up from his activity book offered by the restaurant, "and the little one next to you is Noah. They're my godchildren and these are their mothers and my best friends, Lt. Olivia Benson of Manhattan SVU," she continued, "and Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson."

She was nodding disinterestedly until she heard my last name, "Wait," she looked towards Alex, "Reyes? As in _heiress_ Victoria Reyes?"

Noah looked up at me as I looked down at him and kissed his nose. My older children were somewhat aware of our family's economic status. I never hid that fact from them. In my eyes, they deserved to know that their mom and aunt had come from money but that didn't make them any better or worse than anyone around them. Olivia and I were raising our children with morals and values and just because they were born and being raised with a powerful surname attached to their name didn't mean anything if they—as a person—didn't have moral withstanding in society.

I looked over at Olivia who was giving me an expectant gaze, "Yes," I answered, swiveling my head to meet her eyes.

Tiffany opened her eyes and her mouth did the same, "Oh my God, I cannot believe I'm having dinner with _the_ heiress to the Reyes fortune. My mother is going to flip once she hears," she squealed as she finished and I couldn't help but snicker at her amusement.

"You seem to know a lot about my wife and her financials," Olivia quipped seriously.

"Oh… uh… It's just that I," she cleared her throat thinking about her stumbling feet and I smiled, "I never thought that when Alex invited me to dinner tonight to meet 'the most important people in her life' I was meeting a Reyes."

I cleared my throat to speak but Mona arrived with our beverages with the help of another server. She opened and allowed the bottle of wine to breathe quickly and poured Alex a sip before it disappeared inside the blonde's mouth. Alex smiled in approval and Mona proceeded to pour a glass for Alex and Tiffany and then circled the table to pour one for Olivia, "No, thank you. I'll just stick to my water, Mona," I relented before she had a chance to pour on my glass.

She nodded and made sure her coworker had placed the drinks correctly. Once satisfied she left but not before saying that she was to return shortly for our orders, "I'm not just a Reyes, Ms. Welsh—"

"Oh, please. Call me Tiffany, all of you, really," she interrupted, placing her hands on her chest.

" _Tiffany_ ," I continued, "I am a Benson."

She giggled at my remark and looked at Olivia, "You are one lucky woman, Olivia," she said smugly, her lips closing around her glass as she took a sip of her wine.

I scoffed in disgust and looked at Alex whom sported a crimson shade up her neck, "Wow," I said quietly, "Guys, do you know what you want to eat—Cass, Noah?"

"Yes," replied Cassidy.

Noah simply nodded.

"Huddle," Cassidy spoke to her brother, "do you know what you want to eat?"

"Ravoli," he mentioned to his sister, causing Noah to giggle at my side.

"What about you, Hunts?" Olivia asked.

"Slide," he remembered—just like his brother—what he had eaten the last time we had visited the restaurant.

"Ok, sliders it is," Olivia corrected.

The table fell into simple chatter. The kids overpowered the conversation—as usual—wanting to get everything out before dinner was served. Mona had returned and asked for our orders and we gave them simply. Cassidy ordered for Hudson and Olivia for Hunter. Once dinner was served and the kids fell quiet as they ate joyously their food. Now, it was time for the adults to have conversation, "Tori," Alex addressed me, for the first time in the night.

I hummed and looked up from my plate of chicken scaloppini, "I heard you helped Liv and the team wrap up the Granny Killer case."

"Yes," I said, a smile crossing my features, "There were brutal months prior but she," I smiled, "she was something else."

"What type of doctor works with cops?" Tiffany said, rolling her eyes.

"The type that I am."

"And, that is?"

I sighed and glanced at Olivia, "I am a Forensic Psychologist and Behaviorist for the FBI."

Tiffany snickered, "An heiress, working for the FBI? I would think you would have your own practice."

"Tiffany," Alex admonished silently.

"What? It's the truth. She has all that money and it's just sitting there. She may as well open her practice and do what she wants," she said, "Right?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, "No, I love my job. Having my private practice would involve a lot of financial moves that are not smart, in my opinion. I still have my patients, get paid generously, and I'm home most days at a decent time."

"Well, you have money, don't you? Why is the financial aspect so important to you?" she asked, obviously not having heard anything I just said.

It seemed to be that everything was about my family's money with this one. I hated the vibe I was getting from her, "If I want to keep my money, I don't spend it on shallow and perfunctory impulses."

She opened her eyes and looked between Alex and Olivia, "Per-what?"

"Perfunctory," Noah replied, "It means, 'careless'," he finished with a smile.

"Spelling bee word, Noah?" Alex asked with a smile.

"Uh-huh," he replied, slurping his spaghetti into his mouth, "Mama and Mommy are helping. Mommy says that it'll come easy because Grandma Serena was an English professor and the love for words runs in the family."

"Nerd," Cassidy responded playfully.

"Says the one who's a Mathlethe," Noah countered, sticking his tongue out.

"Oh," Alex exclaimed, "you made the team, baby?"

Cassidy smiled and nodded, "They gave us three problems, I finished the paper in six minutes and the reason being, I had to replace the lead in my pencil."

Olivia couldn't stop smirking and reveling in the smarts of her children and honestly, neither could I, "What do you do for a living, Tiffany?" Olivia asked.

She looked at Alex expectantly but as I glanced towards Alex, she sported the same look of curiosity as Olivia did. She cleared her throat, "My family is part of the Vanderbilt line," _Trust fund baby?_ "Even though, there are no trusts in the Vanderbilt-Cooper lineage there are a few under Vanderbilt-Welsh. My mother, brother, and I are the lasts of that lineage with trusts."

"So, you're living out of your trust fund?" Olivia offered.

Tiffany nodded, "And, your brother, what does he do?"

"He lives the simple life with his wife and two kids in Connecticut," she waves off dismissively.

As if on cue, Tiffany leaned into Alex, "I'm just waiting for the right person to sweep me off my feet and maybe I won't have to resort to what my brother had to," she chuckles dryly and I couldn't help but wince at her comment.

I took a sip of my water and shook my head, attempting to block out the remainder of the conversation that Olivia, Alex, and Tiffany seemed to fall into. I paid attention to my children, whom were all invested in their food and activity book provided by the staff. How was it that an elitist like her did not have the fundamentals of common decency and courtesy that was provided to her? How was it that my soon-to-be nine-year-old son; knew what the word 'perfunctory' meant but a grown woman well in her thirties did not? I hated the thought of Alex being heartbroken. And, if I was being honest with myself, I could've provided her with happiness, in more ways than one if my heart, body, and soul didn't belong to Olivia. Alex deserved happiness, she deserved to smile, to have a family of her own—if so she wished. But as I sat here, two chairs from her, I noticed her smile. It wasn't as big and bright as it usually was but it was there and I wondered, did Tiffany put it there?

Mona cleared our plates and offered the dessert menu. The kids looked at Olivia and I with a hopeful glint in their eyes, they knew the rules: we all shared. Cassidy and Hudson decided on the chocolate canoli, Olivia and Hunter went with the chocolate torta, and Alex, Noah, and I went with the strawberry shortcake. Tiffany and Alex swapped seats and I decided to put a theory in play. I had noticed that when we arrived, Alex made no effort in complementing, approaching, or even glancing my way unless it was quickly. She had approached Olivia and turned her face away when Olivia leaned forward for a kiss, a kiss that held no meaning… a kiss that was as chaste as they came. If Tiffany could influence and put a strain on a thirteen-year friendship overnight—as it seemed—imagine what she could do to the relationship Alex held with her godchildren? Mines? No. No. I refused to think that way but Victoria, the doctor, could _not_ stop thinking that way.

Our desserts arrived and each plate held two spoons. Noah quickly took possession of one of the spoons and I the other one. Alex squirmed and shifted in her seat, "Alex, I can ask for another spoon," I offered earnestly.

She shook her head vehemently, "It's fine, Tori. We've done it a million times, it's ok."

 _Was it really ok, Alexandra?_ I rolled my eyes and smiled, dipping the spoon in the beautifully presented cake and offered Alex a bite, purposefully tilting the spoon too high causing whip cream to stick to her nose. Hunter glanced up at my giggling and caught Alex's nose, "A-tie Lexie, Mama put wee-cream on your nose," he giggled heartily.

"She did?" Alex replied, feigning shock.

Hunter nodded, "Oops," I said, taking a bite myself of the delicious dessert.

I winked at Alex, "Mama's naughty, huh Hunter?"

"Mama, not naughty A-tie Lexie. Mama pwayful," the boy said sincerely.

I turned and kissed his cheek, "That's right Hunts, Mama is playful."

Alex smiled and sighed. I leaned and flicked my tongue on her nose, kissing it lightly, "There, good as new."

I heard Tiffany groan and I smiled, she _was_ jealous of my relationship with Alex. Alex chuckled and took the spoon from me, "Give me that, I'll handle the feeding," she quipped, pointing the spoon at me.

I tittered at the playfulness that had fallen upon the blonde for the first time in the entire night. I couldn't push it and I couldn't force her into it, she would come around… I hoped. Before we knew it, everyone had finished his or her dessert and Tiffany had finished what was left of the wine bottle. When it came time to pay, I watched as Tiffany fidgeted and became impatient on her seat. I quirked an eyebrow but decided against saying anything to avoid Olivia's wrath—which was silence—and Alex's mouth—which was wrath.

I motioned towards Mona who handed me the check, "Victoria, what are you doing?"

I opened the black booklet and eyed the receipt with scrutiny, "I'm covering the bill, Alexandra. What does it look like?" I tittered at her sudden dullness. I turned and reached for my wallet and eyed my credit cards, "Liv," she turned and hummed, "did we use the palladium or the Amex to pay for the apartment and the car?"

"I think it was the Amex, baby."

I nodded and retrieved the palladium, "Tori, you don't have to pay for our meal," Alex protested.

"Al," I sighed, "stop, please. You've never protested in the past and neither have we when you decide to treat us."

"But, I've also never had a guest over," she relented.

"Whom was it that said, 'arguing about money is vulgar unless it's a negotiation'?" I asked, smirking.

She smiled and shook her head, "You don't fight fair, do you?"

"I don't know," I mentioned, handing the booklet to Mona, "ask Olivia, she'll tell you," I finished, winking at the blonde.

Olivia threw her head back in laughter, "You should know better than to argue with a shrink, Alex."

"Is that why she lets you win, Mommy?" asked Cassidy from across the table, causing Olivia to gape her mouth.

"Cassidy Jade," I chided playfully, "that was _our_ secret."

"Oh, I see how it is," Olivia said.

"Come on, Liv," Alex interjected, "You should've known from the start."

The banter continued and once Mona returned, I signed the check quickly and slipped her a generous tip. We gathered our belongings and left. The kids walked out with the same adult that they had walked in with and collectively, we decided since we were only a couple of blocks away from Times Square, might as well enjoy the night walking and sight seeing. I watched as Cassidy and Alex walked together and I also noticed how clingy and possessive Tiffany had become over the blonde. Every time Cassidy spoke, she attempted to speak over her. So much so, that it didn't take long before Cassidy abruptly let go of her godmother's hand, "I'm going with Mama," I heard faintly.

She stomped and weaved through Olivia and the twins and landed at my side, snaking her small hand in my left, "What's wrong pretty girl?"

She looked up at me with glossy eyes, "I want to go home," she acquiesced, her lip trembling.

"Cassie, what's wrong?" Noah asked, concern dripping in his tone.

Cassidy buried her face on my ribs and hugged me tightly. I used my left hand to rub her back as I shushed her, "Alright, alright. Come on, we'll walk back and I'll call Mommy on our way there."

Noah nodded and we returned towards the restaurant. Something happened but what exactly was unbeknownst to me. I paid the valet personnel and thanked them for their speedy service. I helped Noah and Cass inside the Suburban and fetched my phone out of my jumpsuit pocket just as Olivia was calling, " _Baby, where did you go? Is Cassidy with you?_ "

"Sorry, Liv," I began, hopping on the driver's side, "We came back for the SUV, Cassidy is crying and I don't know why. Where are you guys?"

Olivia sighed, " _We're at the Starbucks on 7_ _th_ _and W 49_ _th_."

"The one in front of Barclays?"

Olivia hummed her response, "Ok, I'm on my way."

I didn't push the matter because I knew she would come to Olivia or I when she was ready. Our kids had that all in common, they spoke when they were ready not when they were prodded. Manhattan streets were tricky and it was a Friday night so traffic was bound to be ridiculous. It took me thirteen minutes to reach Olivia who was waiting outside with coffee in one hand and Hunter in the other. I pulled in an open spot by the sidewalk and unlocked the door. Alex kissed Hudson and helped him up to his car seat as Olivia did the same with Hudson. We exchanged a glance and that was it for the night. I was seething at her behavior! How could it be possible that after all the years of friendship it was going to take a skirt to come between us? Granted, I hadn't been the most welcoming but then again, she was the stranger, not I.

Olivia hopped in and buckled, "Cass, baby, what's wrong?"

Cassidy sniffled, "Mommy, she doesn't want to talk right now," Noah, answered for her.

Olivia and I exchanged looks, "Ok, sweet boy, keep her company back there."

I looked up in my rearview and saw Noah nod, "I don't like her, Liv."

Olivia sighed and smiled, "I know you don't, neither do I but Alex likes her, baby. We have to give her a chance. She invited us on Sunday for brunch at her duplex in Chelsea."

I glanced at Olivia as I rubbed my brow, "Do you want to go?"

"Not really, no but Alex wants us to go," Olivia deadpanned.

I scoffed and smiled, "She didn't even acknowledge me, Olivia. And, what the hell was that with the kiss?"

Olivia shrugged and shook her head, "I don't know, but we'll find out on Sunday when we have brunch together. She said we didn't have to bring anything, that her chef would do it."

I smiled and nodded, "Brunch at Tiffany's; can't wait."


	10. Brunch at Tiffany's

_**Brunch at Tiffany's**_

(Olivia's POV)

Sunday morning had arrived too quickly. Both, Victoria and I had been dreading the encounter since I blindly agreed to it. Cassidy was still quiet about what exactly had upset her on Friday night and neither of us was pushing the matter. We had let her know that whenever she was ready, our door was always open for her and any of her siblings. She had only nodded and retreated to her room that night. The next day she seemed a little more upbeat but still, it wasn't the same behavior and charm we had come accustomed to. The kids had woken us half past eight, which was good if we wanted to make it to this brunch on time. Alex had texted me, of all people, the address to Tiffany's; something was definitely going on between her and my wife and if my gut was any good, my guess is that it had to do with the young brunette that Alex had bedded.

The boys were all dressed similarly; they were wearing joggers with long sleeved pullover jumpers, and sneakers. Cassidy wore olive leggings, a black blouse, a denim short jacket, and ankle boots. Victoria looked beautiful in her casual ankle skinny jeans, peach blouse, cardigan, and Sperry's boating shoes. We all left shortly after that and usually car rides that are filled with laughter and loud, common chatter was now one quiet, somber one. Everybody could feel the tension and we were all doing this for Alex, nobody else. Victoria drove silently to the address that had been provided on W 23rd St. We were given instructions to park on reserved residential parking and it was exactly what we did. The kids exited the SUV and waited for us on the sidewalk, "Tori, baby," I grabbed her attention.

She sighed and offered a sheep smile, "I know, baby," she leaned and captured my lips quickly, "None of us want to do this but we're here for her."

She was right, the kids could feel the affliction between the adults and they were responding accordingly. I nodded and kissed her nose, "Let's do this, then," I offered.

We all approached and entered the building, up the stairs to the correct floor. Once there, Noah knocked on the door and we watched as Alex, opened the door, revealing her self, "Good morning, babies," she mentioned.

"Good morning, aunt Lex," said Noah, taking a step back.

Alex furrowed her brow at Noah's somber tone, "What's going on?"

Noah just smiled and shook his head, "Liv, why do you all look in pain?"

"We're here for you, Alex," I conceded, "And, you hurt her," I said, looking back at Victoria that was petting Cassidy's hair.

Alex's eyes sparkled and relayed many emotions, as if she was going through a Rolodex of them. She nodded and opened the door to grant us access into the dwelling. It was bound to be a heavy morning but again, we were doing this for Alex. Victoria entered the apartment with Cassidy close to her body and it dawned on me, maybe this whole thing that happened on Friday had to do with this woman. Alex and Tori exchanged coy smiles, _These two can be the worst_ , I chuckled and pushed my hands into my pockets and waited until Alex shut the door.

"Hey fire engine," she addressed Cassidy.

Cassidy looked up at her and smiled and looped her arm around her mom, pressing her body against Tori's, "What's wrong, huh? After the other night, you've been… squirrely."

Cassidy shook her head and looked at her shoes, "I'm ok," she answered.

Alex hummed and motioned us to sit. Shortly, Tiffany came down the stairs and greeted us. She offered us drinks whilst the chef finished with our brunch. We all spoke about our weekend, I brought Victoria up with our caseloads, Alex let us in on some DA's Office secrets, and we discussed our Halloween collective costume. That conversation seemed to shift everything around. All of a sudden, my children were _my children_. They weren't being skittish, they weren't quiet, and they weren't hiding. They were playing with each other, the banter was back, and Victoria seemed at ease; quiet but at ease.

Our laughter was cut short when the chef called for us. Alex had shared with us that she had reminded him about Noah's mushroom allergy and the likes and dislikes of the rest of us. The kids sat at the table and we leaned against the breakfast bar and ate there, "Al, you go in tomorrow, yes?" I asked.

"Uh, yes. I have a Grand Jury hearing tomorrow and Jim was supposed to handle it but apparently, _something_ came up," she finished rolling her eyes.

Victoria chuckled as she nibbled on some fruit, "What are you working on?"

"Triple homicide, it's a open-shut case. The perp was apprehended at the scene."

"Really?"

"Why can't SVU cases be that way?" I mused, causing both of them to chuckle.

There was a brief silence before Alex spoke, "Do you think your Chief would loan you to Homicide one of these days?" she mentioned as she smiled.

Victoria looked at me and smiled, "I mean, he has me on retainer for SVU and I work on my own cases with the Bureau, as well. I don't see why I can't profile for you guys from time to time, though the request would have to come from you, _Chief_ ," she smiled at the word.

"Can we, like, not talk about work?" Tiffany interrupted, "I feel excluded, Alex. Stop being so rude."

Victoria scoffed and ran her fingers through her hair, a telling sign that she was close to saying something smart and impulsive. Before I could intervene, Cassidy and Noah did so for me, "Auntie Lexie," Noah begun.

"Yes, sweetheart," Alex responded, mimicking the boy's excitement.

"Let's play Escape Room on your big iPad," he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Oooh, I don't know," Alex bargained, "last time, you beat your sister and I. That wasn't fair," she offered with a smile.

Noah giggled, "I'll go easy on you guys this time, please?"

"Um, baby," Tiffany, yet again interrupted, "we have to start getting ready for our meeting with my mother, she's been dying to meet you."

"That meeting is not until after one in the afternoon, is barely eleven in the morning," Alex stood from the stool and walked her plate to the sink, "Relax."

"I won't relax, Alexandra," she raised her voice.

"How about if I play?" Tori intervened, attempting to drag the kids away from Tiffany's outburst.

"You always win, Mama," Cassidy said, a small smile on her lips, "We wanted aunt Lex…"

Victoria looked at Alex with expectant eyes, "I'll play with you guys, come on," the blonde said, as she whisked by the younger brunette.

"Noah," Tori mumbled once Alex was close by, "let's play in teams. You and I against your sister and your aunt."

"They're going down!" the boy shouted as my wife giggled and shook her head.

Tiffany was visibly seething. What was her problem? What was the big deal? Why did she mentioned a meeting that was taking place three hours from now at the exact moment my children approached Alex? Did she have a problem with the kids? Did she have a problem with sharing Alex? I needed to ask some questions in order to get to the bottom of it all. After all, if Alex was trying _this_ hard for us to like this woman, they've clearly been seeing each other for a while, but how long would it last if Tiffany continued to display possessive signs and clingy behavior?

"Could I ask you a question, Olivia?" she interrupted my thoughts.

"Uh, sure," I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

"When Alex and I started dating four months ago, I asked her about her ex's and she mentioned an Olivia, is it you?" she deadpanned. Exactly where was she going with this line of questioning? My gut was telling me to pack everything up and leave but I decided to indulge her, after all, if she got to ask questions, so could I.

"I think you know the answer to that question already but, yes. I am the Olivia she dated."

She chuckled and shook her head, "And, Victoria? Did they date?"

"I think that's a question for Alex, Tiffany. All I know is that they've been best friends since Tori's been four and Alex was nine," I lied, a smile tugging at my lips.

Tiffany nodded and glanced at the couch where, currently, Cassidy and Alex sat on one side and Victoria and Noah sat on the other side of Alex's iPad Pro. The boys were on the floor watching cartoons on the TV and playing with the few toys that they were allowed to bring from home, "Why does she have to do that?" she groaned in disgust.

I placed the coffee mug atop the surface of the bar, "Excuse me?"

"She's so juvenile at times, don't you think?" she said as she poured more champagne and orange juice in her flute, "I mean, with you guys is different, you're mothers but what's her excuse?"

I blinked slowly as my mouth gaped and formed into a smile. I wasn't smiling because I found what she said was funny or it was the truth, I smiled because I couldn't honestly believe that she was saying such things, and to me of all people. I scoffed and shook my head, "You're a piece of work, aren't you?" I stood quickly, pushing my phone into my back jean pocket and continued before she had a chance to speak, "I hope Alex comes to her senses before you ruin her," I finished, pushing past her, "Alright, let's go babies. Mama and I have to do our grocery shopping, maybe later we could stop for milkshakes or hot chocolate, which ever one," I said smiling and giving a look to Victoria, hoping she understood what I attempted to relate.

Victoria nodded and stood, "Ok, say goodbye and thank you to your aunt Lex and let's go potty before we leave, yes?"

The boys stood and walked to the powder room with Noah, "Is there another restroom, aunt Lexie? I really have to go," Cassidy said between giggles.

"Yes, there's one upstairs. Baby, would you show her?" Alex called out for Tiffany who had a deer in the headlights look.

She choked on her drink, "Y—yea, come on."

Cassidy followed Tiffany up the stairs.

* * *

(Cassidy's POV)

She guided me to her bathroom. Her room was a mess, how could she walk through this mess was something that I wanted to ask but didn't. How could my auntie Lexie be with someone so messy? Aunt Lexie hated messes and so did Mama and Mommy. I guess she thought that just because her room was upstairs, no one would see it but the least she could do was clean up a little. I used the toilet and washed my hands and just as I'm about to open the door, I heard her voice. I cracked open the door, just enough to hear what she's saying, "Yes, Mother; I am trying to make a lasting impression on them but they have four brats that make it hard for me."

"…"

"Well, yea. It's obvious I despise kids but if she loves them, I have to at least make a little room for them for now or until I can convince her to move to Boston or DC with me. Then, we could hopefully marry and I can have some control over her financials."

"…"

"I mean, that night at the Policeman's Ball I wanted to go after Victoria, her fortune is much bigger and from the looks of it, she trusts her vagrant cop with everything."

"…"

"Yes Mother, I know that could've been me! I'm not sure I would've agreed to four brats but if it meant that I had control over _her_ assets…"

This woman was with my aunt for her money and fortune, which was her plan all along. She pretended to not know who my mom was Friday night when she obviously knew who she was. I just thanked the man upstairs that Livia ended up being my mother and not her. I leaned against the door too hard and I opened completely, revealing myself to a surprised Tiffany. She narrowed her eyes at me and ended the conversation briefly after that. I avoided her stare but she could tell that I had been eavesdropping at her conversation.

"Listen to me you little brat," she grumbled as she approached me, "you tell anyone so much of a word you thought you heard and I'll make sure you don't see your precious aunt Lexie ever again," she said in a mocking tone, "Understood?"

I placed my hands at my hips, "You'll never get away with it. They'll believe me over you and that's a fact," I finished, challenging her.

Her eyes danced across my face and her hand flew to my left bicep, "Listen to me, you little shit," she squeezed hard on my shoulder, "you better not 'cause nothing is stopping me from pushing you down those stairs," she spoke through her teeth and with each word she tighten her grip on me.

I whimpered and felt my eyes sting with tears, "Stop, you're hurting me," I begged as I recoiled from her touch, "Let me go!" I broke free from her grasp and ran down the stairs, careful not to fall. My tears had broken lose and they fell quickly down my face. Once at the bottom of the steps, I collided with a body and wrapped my arms around its waist and buried my face in their abdomen.

I inhaled the scent, trying to identify whom it was: Mommy, "I want to go home!" I heaved against her clothes, "I want to go home, now! Please Mommy, I want to go home!"

"Cass, baby, what's going on? Look at me," my Mommy begged.

I shook my head, "Mommy, please," I sobbed, dragging out my words, "I want to go home, PLEASE!"

I felt Mommy's hands down my back and around my sides as she lifted me and cradled me against her. I was quick to hide my face in her neck; "I just wanted to her hold her hand down the stairs and she just…" Tiffany lied.

"MOMMY PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" I could hear my ears ringing as I tried to drown her lying voice. I could only compare it to the feelings I would get when thoughts about all the horrible stuff that happened to me when I was younger. I could feel myself shaking.

"Olivia, take her downstairs, now," Mama said.

I had shut my eyes and wrapped myself around my Mommy's body. I just wanted to leave and never come back to this place, never be near this woman that had threatened me with taking away my aunt. I knew I needed to tell my moms about her comment on Friday and I knew I needed to tell them about what I heard but who to tell first? Mommy, who was probably going to put an order for Tiffany's arrest and break aunt Lex's heart or Mama, who would probably drag aunt Lex to see the damage that she'd cause and break her heart anyways?

The cool air of the outside calmed me. I continued to heave and sob against my Mommy and she did her best to calm me. I needed to tell her first.

* * *

(Olivia's POV)

It didn't take long for Tori to be downstairs with Hudson clad to her body, followed by Noah who was followed by a Hunter clad Alex. Cassidy continued to sob mercilessly against my body, her body wracked with tears, and her grip was tight around my waist and neck. I ran my hand down her back, attempting to soothe her little vessel. The boys had been emotionally shaken and they had been scared and begun to cry, that's why they were being carried. None of them had seen an outburst like that come from their sister. Noah was pale and clung to Victoria's free side.

"What happened?" Alex asked, "She hasn't had an outburst like that in nearly two years, Tori."

Tori glanced at me, "Something happened, she's not like that around women. Tiffany must've said something that triggered her," she turned around as she rubbed Noah's head, "We can't go anywhere right now until they've all calmed down," she breathed out and threw her head back, pushing her hair away from her face, "Cassidy's shaken up, the boys don't know what's going on," she trailed off, "Noah, baby?"

I saw Noah tighten his grip around Tori's hips, "Cass, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

"Mommy, please," her body trembled against mine, "Please, Mommy, please."

"What sweet pea, what? Tell Mommy what you need," I coaxed.

She couldn't articulate it, she tighten her grip around my body and buried her face deeper in my neck, "Ok, easy baby, easy," I coached her gently as I rubbed my hand against her back.

"How are the boys, Tori?" I asked.

"I got them, Olivia. Focus on Cassidy, I got them," she answered quickly.

She was mumbling in Hudson's ear and providing physical comfort for Noah. Alex had sat on the edge of the sidewalk and had Hunter pressed against her body as she too, mumbled quietly to him. A good fifteen minutes passed before I felt the change of the body pressed against mines. She had fallen asleep and gone limp on top of me. After all that emotional strain, her mind and body were meant to give out. I just hoped and prayed she wouldn't keep quiet about this as she had with whatever happened on Friday.


	11. The Secret

_**The Secret**_

(Olivia's POV)

I approached Victoria and leaned down to kiss Hudson's forehead, "Baby, she fell asleep. How are the boys?"

"Hudson was really scared. He's never seen her like that but I explained that sometimes Cassie gets scared but she doesn't always know what made her scare. That sometimes, it's a memory or a word or a place or even something as simple as a touch, right Huddle?" she asked the boy.

Hudson nodded and lifted his chin from her shoulder, "Mama say, Cassie ok and that she won't be scared because you potect her."

I chuckled and nodded, "That's right, bug. I'll protect you all."

"Noah here, was shaken but he's ok now, right sweet boy?" Tori asked, looking down at her hip.

His blue eyes met her grey ones and he smiled, "Yes Mama, I promise."

Alex had stood and brought Hunter to us, "Hunts, want to tell Mommy and Mama what we talked about?"

Hunter lifted his head from Alex's shoulder, "Cassie was really scared, but Mommy potect her wike when a-tie Lexie potected us from steet rat."

Noah giggled and so did Hudson, "That's right, bean!" Alex commended.

"Alright, let's get everyone in the car. We'll figure out the groceries later," I mentioned towards the SUV.

I climbed in first, attempting to rid my body of Cassidy but she was not having any of that at the moment. I acquiesced and allowed Noah to sit in the front with Tori, whilst I sat in the third row of the SUV. The twins fell silent and were soon asleep in the short ten-minute car ride. Once in our home, Victoria expertly maneuvered the twins on her body and Noah was in charge of opening and closing doors. Already inside of our home, I walked Cassidy to her room and again, attempted to rid her body from mines but she was not relenting. I climbed the full size bed and lain with her until sleep, too, engulfed my body.

I felt soft little hands caressing my jaw and a small body snuggling closer to me. It took me a few moments to realize that I was in fact in Cassidy's room and in her bed. I opened my eyes and a beautifully freckled face greeted me, her doe-like eyes staring straight at me, and pouty rosy lips were curled into a smile. She sighed and kissed my chin, the hand that was caressing my jaw was now pushing stray strands out of my face and towards the back of my head. My daughter, my sweet, sweet daughter was displaying and showing me the same signs of affection her mom and I would give her and her siblings every time they felt in distress or were sad and here she was, soothing me. Keeping me grounded and in the moment when I felt like I was not in control, not after what happened outside of Tiffany's duplex. What happened? What did she say in order to trigger Cassidy that way? Was it really just an attempt to hold her hand? It couldn't have been, she never reacted that way when it came to affection, especially not from a woman. No, this was different and even though I knew better than to push her into speaking about what happened, I needed to know in order to help her.

"Sweet pea," I whispered.

"Yes, Mommy," she answered quietly.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened, baby?" I blinked slowly, capturing her facial expressions.

Her eyes lulled and she gave me a thin lipped smile, "Yea," she said, barely a whisper.

I went to sit up but her hand tugged at my blouse, "Can we lay?"

I nodded and settled on my side, facing her and I could see in her eyes the struggle she was having in beginning this conversation. Something must've really happened and it had to have been utterly crushing for her to be debating so much the thought of opening up to me, "Whenever you're ready sweets."

"I heard her talking with her mom on the phone when I went with her to the bathroom. She said that she was trying to make a lasting impression but us "brats" were getting in the way. Do you remember, at dinner Friday night, when she acted like she didn't know who Mama was?" I nodded, not wanting to speak in case she retracted and decided not to express her thoughts any longer, "Well, she lied. She was telling her mom how she wanted to go after Mama that night at the Policeman's Ball but I guess, that's when you proposed," _Son of a bitch_ , "She said that she had to pretend to like us in order to get in aunt Lexie's good side and that when everything was good she would ask her to move to Boston or DC so that they could marry and she could gain control over her assets," she paused briefly and bit her lip, "Mommy, what does vagrant mean?"

"It means homeless or someone who cannot support themselves financially, why do you ask?" I asked, having an idea of the why but still wanting to corroborate.

"Tiffany called you a _vagrant cop_. But, you're not, Mommy," her eyes were teary and her lip trembled.

I ran my thumb underneath her lash line, swiping any collected droplets from her lashes, "I know I'm not but people like her, that's what they see, sweet pea."

Cassidy nodded and took a shaky breath, "I confronted her about it and I told her that I was going to tell you and Mama as well as aunt Lex and I told her that you _would_ believe me over her any day and, and," she snuggled impossible close to my chest and that's when I felt her body shake.

Whatever happened next was the reason of her meltdown and the reason we were like this right now, "Baby, baby, easy there. Take a deep breath for me, CJ," she took air in bullets before she was able to take one deep breath, "There you go," I enveloped her in a tight embrace and rubbed my hands down her back, "CJ, sweetheart, you can tell me anything. I won't be upset, baby. Please, talk to me."

It took her a second before she was able to get her body under control. She mumbled something against my chest that was muffled to my ears, "Baby," I said, pulling her from my body, "what was that? I couldn't hear you."

She took a deep breath and centered herself, "She grabbed me and she threatened to push me down the stairs," she said, her eyes averting my stare, "That's why I yelled at her to let me go."

I sat up quickly and brought her up with me, "She what?" I grumbled through my teeth, cupping her face with my hands, "Cassidy, what did she do? Look at me, what did she do?"

Cassidy held my wrists and released a gust of air through her mouth, "S—she grabbed me," she conceded as her eyes kept dancing from my face to her left arm.

I noticed the frantic eye movements and released her face. I dragged my hands to the lapels of her jean jacket and pushed it off her shoulders. As the garment fell from her body there it was, a disgusting handprint mark. On her porcelain complexion it was a bright red, already beginning to bruise, "Oh," I breathed out, gently caressing the mark on her skin, "Cass," I could only stare at the bruising on my daughter's arm and feel my blood boil. What possessed this woman to lain a hand on my child?

As I fawned over the marking she spoke, "Are you telling Mama?"

I sighed, "I have to, Cassidy and I'm calling Alex. I can't just ignore that, baby."

She folded her legs underneath her body and stared at her hands, "Can we tell her here?" She said as she looked up at me.

I smiled and nodded, "Sure," I reaffirmed, "Tori! Baby?" I awaited for an answer, not wanting to leave Cassidy on her own but not wanting to wake the kids if they were asleep, "Victoria!" I tried again, hearing soft patter as she approached the room.

She hummed and leaned on the door trim, "I was folding cl—hey, fire engine. How are you feeling?"

She smiled and attempted to cover her bruise with her hand. Victoria notice her demure gesture and knitted her brows, pushing herself off of the trim and sauntering towards the bed, "What's going on?"

"Show her sweet pea, show Mama."

Cassidy stared at me and I watched as her eyes filled with salty droplets as her apprehension showed in her eyes, "CJ, it's ok. Show her, babe."

"Show me what, Cass? What do you have to show me?" Victoria asked, her arms crossing against her chest as she spoke.

Reluctantly, Cassidy removed her hand and bore the marking to Victoria. Her hands rapidly flew over her mouth and she moved closer to our daughter's bed. She reached out but retracted her arms as quickly as she extended them. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears and just at the sight, my heart was breaking. I felt the same way. There was no reason whatsoever to put your hands on a child, _our_ child for that manner.

"Who did that to you?" she asked, her voice full of contempt.

Cassidy looked up at me and I gave her a bashful smile, "Do you want me to tell her or do you want to?" I asked, knowing that if I took the lead briefly, she would be able to continue once I was done.

She nodded but remained quiet. I took it as a sign to open up to my wife of the confession she had made to me not that long ago, "Tori, baby, sit. I'll tell you what she told me and though, I already know what I want to do in terms of that," I mentioned, pointing at the forming bruise in her arm, "we still need to talk about it."

Victoria nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, turning her body and bringing her leg up as she did so. I explained to her everything Cassidy overheard Tiffany say on the phone with her mother. I mentioned that on Friday night, the whole 'not being sure if you were or not the person you claimed to be' stint was a fake and that she had planned on approaching her the night I proposed. I confessed that if we weren't already dating or together that it could've been her and that the purpose and reason behind dating Alex was because of her falling in love with a 'vagrant cop'. I told her that she was hoping to make a lasting impression on us but our 'brats' were making it difficult since Alex paid them more mind than her. I mentioned that Cassidy confronted her about her ways and also mentioned the response she had given our daughter.

And, now for the hard part, "When Cassidy told her that she was going to tell us and Alex what she had overheard she, uh," I cleared my throat and shook my head, a cynical smile on my face, "she, uh… Cass, why don't you tell Mama what she did and said?"

Cassidy had since migrated to my lap. She sat in the pocket that my legs had created and she played with the sleeve of my jumper. Cassidy rested her head against my chest and turned her face upward, bringing those chocolaty eyes face to face with mine, "It's ok, sweet pea. It's just Mama, you know you can trust her."

"I know," she replied, her voice a mere whisper, "I'm scared."

"Why are you scared, Cass?" Victoria asked before I had a chance to.

"I'm scared that you won't talk to aunt Lex anymore because of me," there was defeat in her voice.

"Baby," Victoria begun, "that is not going to happen. My priority is to keep you and your brothers safe and happy and I know that having Lexie around keeps you happy, but if being around Alex is going to put you in harm's way, Cassidy; I cannot risk that. You are one of the five most important things in my life. I will not let anyone hurt you the way this person did."

Cassidy sniffled and nodded, "She grabbed me and told me that if I opened my mouth nothing was stopping her from pushing me down the stairs."

"Who is _she_ , Cassidy?"

"T—Tiffany," Cassidy's voice wavered, "she squeezed me. That's why I shouted for her to let me go and s—she lied. She told you that it was because she grabbed my hand."

I held Cassidy in my arms and shushed her gently. She was a little distraught but she had been doing well. I looked up momentarily and Victoria's eyes displayed an emotion that seldom was there and it was frightening. Her eyes had gone a dark and a stormy grey. The same kind of grey you feared in the horizon. It was the kind of grey that brought forth hail, thunder, and lightning. The kind of grey that would cast over before inches and inches of rain fell upon the city, _that_ kind of grey; the type that made you fearful and respectful. The same one that had lured away the usual sparkle in her eyes for it to take over and overpower her soul.

"She threatened you," Victoria mumbled to no on in particular as she stood. She scoffed and paced, "She fucking threatened you."

"Tori," I called out for her. She had never cussed in front of the kids, that was reserved for the bedroom or the privacy of a room, "Tori, baby," she was lost in her thoughts and she kept chanting the same words over and over again. I placed Cassidy on the bed and stood and approached her slowly, "Victoria," I said, gingerly placing my hand on her shoulder to halt her.

Tori looked up at me, that beautiful grey stare that made me weak on my knees held nothing but disdain and rage, "She threatened her."

"I know, baby, I know. I reacted the same way, but you have to calm down," I said softly, bringing both my hands to either side of her face, "You're scaring both her and me. I've never seen you like this."

"Olivia," she chuckled sardonically, "I will put a bullet in between her eyebrows if I ever see her again," she growled, "No one threatens my kids."

Her statement shook me to my core. She was speaking low enough that the conversation stood between us but still managed to carry so much weight and conviction that I, Olivia Margaret Benson, Lieutenant of the NYPD was somewhat scared by my wife's words, "Do not talk like that, Victoria. I'm a cop for Christ's sake."

I saw her eyes change, the coldness seem to melt as my gentle grip became firm but continued to be loving, "She threatened my kid, Liv," she said shakily, her eyes allowing the tears to form, "Why would she threaten our daughter?"

I leaned forward and captured her lips in mine. Moving slowly as to relay my love and attempt to ease and soothe her worries. Her body gradually began giving into mine and our kiss, at a leisurely pace, turned into a healing exercise. I broke the tender touch once my lungs grew tired, "We'll find out," I said breathily, resting my forehead against hers, "We have to confront them both and believe, I am pressing charges."

She tittered at my last words and nodded, "I love you."

"I love you more."

Victoria had stayed in the room with Cassidy whilst I called Alex. None of us noticed that it was past one in the afternoon and she was probably at said meeting with her leech. I expressed that it was an emergency and that it couldn't wait until later and that she needed to bring her little… _partner_ with her as well. Now, Cassidy, Victoria, and I sat on our living room awaiting the arrival of the two women. We had called and spoken to Jonah and Wilder, our gay neighbors from down the hall and asked if our boys could come over and play with their sons—Lyle and Curtis—for a while. Jonah, whom Victoria knew from her years at NYU, asked if everything was all right and she briefly explained the situation. They offered their help and told us to not even worry about lunch that they had it covered.

A brief knock and some jingling keys startled us all. We knew the only people that could be were either Alex or Amanda and since the latter had not been summoned, my guess was the former. They came sauntering in the room with their hands laced together. Cassidy flushed her body against Victoria's, "Please tell me your service weapon is locked up?" she mumbled underneath her breath.

I scoffed and shook my head, "Tori, stop."

"Hey, hey, where are the boys?" Alex asked as she came to view and sat in our L-shaped couch.

"They're down the hall with Lyle and Curtis," I relinquished the information.

"This is a beautiful home you have here, Victoria. How much was it? Lex, when we get married, I want to live in something like this," Tiffany mentioned as she took a seat next to Alex.

Tori tensed, " _That_ is none of your business."

"Oh," Tiffany said, looking at Alex, "I'm sorry."

"Victoria, what's going on? Why did you call me over here if you're only going to be rude to my girlfriend?" Alex commenced, her voice dripping in contempt.

Victoria ran her hands over her thighs, attempting to reel her growing temper in, "Why don't you ask your goddaughter why you're here?"

"What? Why?"

"Mama, I—I don't want to," Cassidy mumbled as she snuggled closer to Victoria's body.

Before she could reply, Alex spoke, "Cassidy, sweets, what's going on? Please talk to me. You know you can tell me anything…" Alex trailed off, attempting to lure the redheaded girl out of her temporary shell.

Cassidy sat up straight and brought her left arm out from behind Victoria's body. Upon seeing the mark, Alex gasped and her hands covered her mouth, "What happened?"


	12. The Secret, 2

_**The Secret, 2**_

"S—she grabbed me and told me she was going to push me d—down the stairs if I told you what I overheard," Cassidy mumbled softly.

"You fucking brat!" Tiffany shouted as she stood.

Everything happened so quickly that I almost faltered. In a matter of seconds, Tiffany had menacingly started towards Cassidy but before she could reach her, both Alex and Victoria had blocked her way, "If you so much as think about taking another step towards my daughter, it'll be the last thing you do," Tori threatened.

I hung back and watched for Cassidy, who had remained still, "What is she talking about, Tiff?" Alex demanded.

"N—nothing, Ali. You're not really going to believe a kid over me?" Tiffany whined.

"Right now, I am leaning towards it," Alex said sternly, "I won't ask again, what is she talking about?"

Tiffany opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, her breathing erratic. She shifted impatiently before her composure returned, "I'm not going to stay here and be attacked by your friends and their lying brat," she turned to grab her purse from the couch and started against the door.

"First degree aggravated assault," I said, stopping Tiffany from her stomping through my living room.

She turned and looked at Alex, "You're not going to defend me?"

"I can't defend you if you're lying to me, Tiffany," Alex offered, "What is she talking about? Did you put your hands on my goddaughter?"

"She called Mommy a 'vagrant cop'," Cassidy started, diverting all attention to her, "That night at the Policeman's Ball, she was there and she was going after Mama because, 'her fortune is much bigger'. Aunt Lex," her lip quivered, "she's only with you for your money. She said that she was waiting until things got more serious so that she could convince you to move to either Boston or DC and that way you could get married and she could have _some_ control over your assets," she looked up to where Alex was standing, her chocolate colored eyes glossing with tears, "I'm sorry," she finished, her voice barely a whisper.

Alex approached the girl, wiping her own tears from her eyes and sitting down next to her, "When did you hear this, Cass?"

Cassidy looked down at her hands and sniffled, "When you told me to go to the restroom with her."

Alex nodded and swallowed hard, "What happened on Friday? Why did you snatch your hand like that from me?"

"She kept saying, 'I can't believe you're mine and I will fight anyone who gets in my way'. Every time I tried to say something she would repeat it and you," she stopped and looked at the blonde beside her, "you didn't say anything."

A tear was quick to fall down Cassidy's face, "I'm sorry, sweet pea. I'm so, so sorry," Alex said, circling her arm behind the girl and pulling her against her body. She looked up from the tight form she and Cassidy had formed, "Olivia—Tori, please forgive me. I—I didn't know."

"You're asking for _their_ forgiveness? I'm your girlfriend, Alex!"

Alex stood and approached her, "Not anymore. You disgust me," she said through clenched teeth.

"A—Alex wait," Tiffany stumbled as she reached for the blonde attorney, "I—I'm sorry. I—I never meant to hurt her. She was just so adamant about telling you and I couldn't risk you leaving me."

Alex scoffed and gave her signature pouty smirk, "Well, how'd that work out for you?" Alex paused; she spoke softly, just like she did when in court.

"I'm really tempted to have my wife arrest you," Victoria spoke softly, much like Alex. Her calmness scared me, I'd rather her be shouting and screaming and threatening to fire my weapon against Tiffany but she didn't, "You terrorized my child and put your vile hands on her. You'd be in jail, what, Alex?"

"Two to five years but, I'm sure it'd be maximum sentence since she is the daughter of highly decorated officer and a valuable asset of the FBI. Oh, and let's not forget, she's the goddaughter of a Bureau Chief," Alex chimed in.

I had to admit, seeing Victoria lash out as the 'mama bear', seeing her in control and in power, and seething on top of that was really turning me on. I don't think I'd ever want to see that stormy grey stare in my lifetime again but right now, I was relishing in it, "Your assets would be frozen and your reputation would be trashed but that would make me just as malicious as you," Victoria smiled and stood up straighter, "You're going to leave."

 _Wait, what? Leave? No!_ "Tori, _she_ is not going anywhere," I bargained with my wife.

"Oh, yes, she is Olivia."

"Victoria," I said, running my fingers through my hair, "I cannot let her walk out of here. I'm sorry, I can't."

"Yes you can, Liv. And, I'll tell you why," Victoria paced and stood in front of me, circling her arms around my waist, "because she is going to leave here and walk into the precinct and admit what she did to our daughter. Then, she's going to request time before a judge and ask to go to anger management classes, once a week for sixteen weeks. Because even though nothing would please me more than to see in her handcuffs right now, as a medical professional I cannot let her go to prison. She doesn't have the will to sustain prison, not with what you and I know what would happen to her in there," Victoria smiled as I felt her hands caress my back, her hands soothing any anger I could possibly have.

She made a plausible argument this one. Even though she had stayed quiet for the great majority of the conversation, she had been psychoanalyzing this woman and if I knew something about anything, she had been doing so since we met her on Friday. I wry smile formed on my face and I leaned in to kiss her forehead, "You are a saint," I mumbled against her skin.

Tiffany scoffed and chuckled, "You can't make me do anything. I'm not going anywhere and I'm damn sure _not_ taking no fucking anger management classes."

I turned around and squeezed Victoria's arm, begging her to release me. Her grip around my waist had grown tight; she knew the emotions coursing through my body. That's how in sync and attuned our bodies were. She, was the only one that could read _my body_ in that way, _she_ was the one that could call me on my bullshit. I looked at her once more, my eyes dancing across hers, and I gave her a reassuring smile. She eased on my grip, "Well, just know that I can and _will_ arrest you at any time and moment. There's a thing called statute of limitations and you get five years, regardless of where you are, sweetheart."

Her smug grin slowly faded and the realization of her actions began painting in her eyes. She knew my words upheld and as she glanced at Alex, who still was sat on the couch behind me, then at Tori, and finally at me her being slowly deflated, "Fine, whatever."

"Great, now you have thirty minutes to make it down to Olivia's precinct. And, best believe, I'll be receiving a call if you don't show and then it's a warrant for your arrest. Do _not_ play with me, Tiffany. It won't work well against you," Tori mentioned.

Tiffany stammered and rolled her eyes. She faltered and shifted, turning and leaving the apartment. Once the door was closed, Alex stood and crashed into Victoria's body, her shoulders shaking with sobs. She circled her arms around Victoria's neck and buried her face deep within her neck. At first, Victoria hesitated but it wasn't long before she wrapped her arms around Alex's waist, one of her hands running up and down her back, soothing the blonde's sobs. Cassidy was sat with her legs folded underneath her on the couch, looking at the interaction of the women in the middle of the living room. I slowly approached her and sat next to her, whispering in her ear to go knock on the Graves' door and spend some time with Lyle and Curtis. In the process, I texted Jonah and let him know that Cassidy was coming over just so that we could sort everything out. Before she left though, I told her to grab and put on her jean jacket once more. All of this had transpired and Alex clung to Victoria's body as if it was the only thing keeping her in this realm.

I cleared my throat and saw as the women broke their embrace, Alex wiping her face quickly and chuckling at her own behavior. I directed them both to the couch and right here and now we were about to unpack everything that had happened. I had some hard questions for Alex and though, I was pretty sure she didn't want to talk about it now, but she needed to. I needed answers. If Tiffany had seen and known about both Alex and Victoria over three years ago, what took her so long to make a move?

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she pleaded.

"Enough with the apologies, Alex," Victoria chided.

"No, I—Cassidy was hurt because of me," Alex sniffled and ran her fingers through her cheeks, "She's telling the truth, you know."

"Of course she is, Al," I added, "Cassidy is not one to lie. None of our kids do."

Alex nodded and tittered, "Tiffany asked me today."

I was confused there for a second, what exactly was she talking about? "I'm sorry?" I asked, genuinely confused by it all.

"Her mother lives in Boston, she said today that she wasn't feeling well but that she was fine. On our way back here she was so distraught that I was actually considering putting a transfer for the Boston DA's Office," Alex deflated as she spoke.

"Are you serious, Alexandra?" Victoria admonished, "Why?"

"Better opportunities, Tori. I've been speaking with Uncle Bill…"

"Alex, you cannot leave!" Victoria stood, interrupting the blonde, "You've begged and begged me, countless times not to leave your side, to stay and _you're_ the one that wants to leave?" she turned around, her eyes glossy with tears.

"T—Tori, let me finish," Alex begged.

"No," Victoria shook her head, "I won't let you finish if what you're concluding with is 'I'm leaving regardless'."

"You won't know until you let me finish, will you?" Alex smirked.

"Baby, come here. Sit," I beckoned my wife, extending my arm, attempting to draw her to me.

She took my hand and I shifted to accommodate her in between my legs. She puffed and leaned into my body, seeking safety and comfort. As we sat there, we listened to Alex's future plans. She had spoken to her beloved uncle Bill who had been nothing but amazing throughout the years. One of the only judges in federal court that would advocate for SVU cases and the one Alex had a tendency to go to whenever we were in need of a warrant. Victoria had had the pleasure of working with him in one of the cases she had worked on and once he knew she was _the_ Victoria from Alex's past he had made it a point to be there for our kids and for us as well. Bill had given her advice that if she wanted to stay with the Manhattan District Attorney's Office she had to climb the political ladder. When Alex and I had met and begun dating, yes, she was young but her political aspirations were clear and known. Somewhere along the way, I guess, her aspirations had changed; it's when she kept disappearing on me. She left for two years to be hidden in Witness Protection, and then she came back but didn't want anything to do with me, with us in general. When she returned, she was only with us briefly before she left _again_ to work ICC. The past three years had been the longest time Alex and I had been in touch without actually working together.

It hurt but I had her and the love of my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. She continued to tell us how in the coming months she would be working towards her new goal, becoming Chief ADA, second-in-command to _the_ District Attorney, if anyone could execute and carry out this project, it was Alexandra. There was no doubt in my mind that she would and could complete the task effortlessly. She told us about who the other candidate for Chief ADA was and in all honesty, the guy might just as well forget about everything, this job was Alex's hands down.

"So, you see Tori, I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon," Alex conceded with a smile.

Victoria sighed and smiled, leaning closer to my body, "I get it, Lex."

Alex smiled and leaned forward and captured my lips in a quick kiss then moved lower to my neck where Victoria was nestled and did the same with her lips, grabbing our hands in the process. She looked at our joined hands, "I'm sorry," she said shaking her head.

I groaned and threw my head back, "I swear to GOD, Alex. If you apologize one more time, I'm going to kick your ass. Stop!"

Victoria and her were consumed by laughter and we were all soon laughing and hollering like a couple of teenagers. We hadn't notice the time and how fast time had gone by until Wilder called Victoria, "Dr. Reyes-Benson," she answered.

"…"

"Oh, God, Wilder. I—I don't know, I mean, they've been with you all afternoon," Victoria said, leaning forward, using my thigh as support.

"…"

She laughed, "So this is your fucking fault, then? Building my kid's hopes up before you even call me. W—Who told you to call me and not Olivia?"

"…"

"Put him on the phone," she bit her lip and waited, "Noah Porter-Benson, did you put up Wilder to this? Why didn't you call your mother, huh?"

"…"

"Oh, I see. What does Cassidy say and think?"

"…"

"Well, I'm going to send your mother and Auntie Lex with your stuff, can you ask your sister if she needs her weighted blanket?" _The kids were staying over?_ "Ok, I'll make sure they bring it to you."

"…"

"I love you too, baby. You're welcome. Let Jonah and Wilder know and please behave you guys."

She hung up the phone and looked at the both of us, "The kids are staying with the Graves' including Cassidy, yes, I know," she paused, "She does want her weighted blanket so, let's pack it up and take it to them, please."

"And by 'we' you mean us?" Alex asked.

Alex and I looked at each other and nodded. We automatically stood and dispersed to the rooms. We each grabbed a kid and prepared them a small bag. It didn't take us long and we were out the door within a few minutes. At the Graves' home, you could automatically hear the ruckus. Having the kids with Jonah and Wilder was always fun, they were big kids at heart and they brought out the very best from the kids. I loved the relationship they had build and formed with our children and their two boys, Lyle and Curtis, those beautiful blonde, sweet, chunky boys… they had taken to us as well. It was a beautiful connection and bond that we had created and thanks to my wife, I now had a beautiful family and people in my life that loved me and cared for me and wanted to see me do great and prosper in my both my personal and my professional life. It was a beautiful thing to experience and live in.

They had invited us in and we chatted and played briefly. We helped them with bath time and got them ready for their wind down. According to Wilder, they weren't going to sleep any time soon because they had plans for the night. I pulled Cassidy aside and told her that if she got uncomfortable at any point of the night to just let Jonah or Wilder know and they could call me and I'd come down the hall and pick her up without hesitation. She reassured me that she would be fine, that nothing was going to happen and that she had asked Jonah for pain medicine for her arm. I was proud of my little fire engine, she had been through so much in her short life span and we had pulled through with her one day at a time and now, when we all thought she was in a safe space, came this woman and roughed her up and knocked her back inside her shell momentarily and she had blossomed and bloomed incredibly. It was something that inspired me and motivated me to continue forward.

Alex and I made it back down the hall to my apartment and once we opened the door none of us were prepared for the sight in front of us. When had she returned? What was she doing in my kitchen? How had she gotten my address? Who had given her my address? I was in complete and utter shock but I was overcome with joy and happiness. I chanced a glance to Alex who shared my exact same perplexed look that I had and as we continued to approach the breakfast bar, Victoria was behind it serving her a glass of wine. Victoria smiled at me and nodded towards the woman as if beckoning me to greet her but before I could, Alex's body had melded with the woman, "Casey."


	13. Mommy forgot my birthday

_**Mommy forgot my birthday**_

 _Where the hell is she?_ She better not miss her daughter's birthday! Ugh, I had told her incessantly, over and over again to at least take ten minutes away and make an appearance to Cassidy's birthday party. It wasn't like we lived so far from the precinct. We had chosen this location because of the proximity to the precinct, parks, my parent's home, the kids' schools, and Alex's home. The Bureau, though, was downtown, near One PP and the DA's Office. Regardless of, Olivia was definitely going to be on my bad side if she missed this party, not for my sake but for Cassidy's. Our home was filled with girls. This time it wasn't just Lily; now it was Lily, Megan, Olivia J., Christina, Tiana, Genevieve, Mallory, Susana, Madison, Ava, and Davina. Even though Olivia and I had told Cassidy that only ten girls would be allowed to come and that she needed to choose carefully, she couldn't. Cassidy gave an argument that Lily couldn't possibly count because she had spent so much time in our home that she should be considered our daughter too. One would think that Alex was Alex was behind this but after some prodding from the blonde I was revealed that Alex had nothing to do with her well composed and delivered argument.

It was almost time to cut the cake and sing Happy Birthday and Olivia was nowhere to be found. She hadn't called. She hadn't texted. She hadn't emailed. I could not believe it. I understood her job, I did but the kids… every time I had to explain to them that their mother was out there putting bad people away and making sure that we were safe they would look at me with faces of incredulity. Noah had gone as far as saying that how could we be safe if she wasn't physically here to protect us and boy, had that resonated with me. Alex had been singing karaoke with Cassidy and Lily, the son that they always did when they were together, 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls. Cassidy had fallen in love with the song thanks to her Aunt Lexie and she had passed down the love for it to Lily. Now every time they spent time together with or without Alex, they made it a point to always sing it. I couldn't help but laugh at the antics of Alexandra. The straight-laced attorney that had _the_ most intimidating glare in and out of the courtroom was standing in my living room barefoot, hair disheveled, shirt untucked, with two eleven-year-olds singing at the top of her lungs to a crowd of classmates. Who would've thought?

I had asked Lucy to take the boys to a DIY Ice Cream Parlor and for some indoor fun at Lego Land whilst the girls blew off some steam in the apartment and to have them back at a certain time so that they could sing to their sister. I heard the door unlock and open behind me, sighing in relief—thinking it was Olivia—I walked towards the foyer only to be met by Lucy and my three boys. I shook my head and smiled, Hudson and Hunter were covered in ice cream and Noah sported a nice ice cream mustache, no doubt from melting his ice cream down into a shake and drinking it as it was. I beckoned the boys to the table where everything had been set and Alex gathered the girls around as Cassidy stood at the end of the table. She looked around, probably looking for Olivia before her eyes landed on mine. I smiled and mouthed 'I love you' before brining my hands to my chest. She had shown so much progress, grown so much, and here she stood; sighing and smiling just in an attempt at keeping it together. We sang to her loudly. I approached and smeared frosting on her nose and kissed her forehead. Alex hugged and told her how proud of her she was. Her brothers and her friends hugged her tightly and wished her the best.

Not long after, all the parents began to arrive, collecting their children and providing their thanks. Alex, Lucy, and I cleaned up around the apartment and put away gifts in Cassidy's room. Alex noticed my discomfort and Cassidy's long face, "Are you going to be ok?" she asked.

"I don't know Lex, all I know is that neither of us are ok. I know it's her job but all I asked for was ten minutes, Alex. Ten minutes to come and spend time with her daughter, was that too much to ask?" I didn't know when it had happened but tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks.

Alex enveloped me in a tight embrace, my shoulders shaking in silent sobs. I understood Olivia's job. I lived it. I watched it unfold every day and when she would cancel on me or arrive late for a date, I was fine but when her actions hurt one of the kids or all of them, it was different. These were our children and I'd be damned if someone inflicted harm upon them, "Mama," a voice behind me interrupted, a voice that undoubtedly belonged to Noah.

I sniffled and wiped my cheeks, breaking the embrace with Alex, "Yes sweet boy, what's going on?"

Noah furrowed his brow and tilted his head, "Are you and Cassie ok?"

I looked at Alex and back at Noah, "Why do you ask?" I said, kneeling in front of him; "Is something wrong with your sister?" I mentioned, looking up to see Cassidy in the living room with her pajamas on, watching TV, and at either side of her one of the twins.

"Umm," he looked back towards the living room, "her eyes are sad. Is it because Mommy didn't come to the birthday party?"

I could feel the threat of tears at the back of my eyes, clearing my throat, "I'm sure Mommy didn't mean to, Noah but you let met handle that, ok? And, I'll talk to your sister too."

He nodded and laced his arms through my neck, hugging me tightly, "I love you Mama, and please don't cry."

I bit my lip and willed my tears back by swallowing hard. I reciprocated the hug and rubbed my hands in circles on his back, "I love you too baby, I love you too."

Later that night, Cassidy had crawled into my bed, "Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"Upset. Sad. Happy… honestly Mama, I don't know how I feel," she conceded, a defeated tone on her voice.

I smiled a sheep smile at her, "Do you want to talk about it with me?"

She nodded and folded her legs underneath her body, running her hands through her face to rid it of any strands of hair, "Why didn't she come?"

I sat across of her, my stance mimicking hers, "I don't know baby. She hasn't called or texted me, I really do not know," I breathed out, "I am sorry Cassidy, I know how much you wanted her here," I finished, running my thumb across her cheek.

She gave me a thin-lipped smile, "Could I talk to you as my doctor, not as my mom?"

 _What?_

 _Why?_

"Sure baby, you always can."

"Is it because," she paused, not being able to hold my eyes, "maybe, I'm just being silly but," she sighed. She was having trouble articulating what she was attempting to convey, "Is it because I'm a girl?"

"Why do you think your gender is a factor to Olivia not being here, Cass?" I asked, obviously in my role as her psychologist, not just her mom. Her mom would've told her to not be silly that that notion was impossible but her doctor had to ask this question.

She shrugged, giving it some thought, "You've seen her with they boys; she doesn't treat me that way. She doesn't look at me the same way she looked at Noah or Hunter or Hudson… or you," she said, her shining with threatening tears, "And, when she says 'I love you' to the boys, she says it as so, but when she says it to me," she paused, her tears reaching her chin before she had time to collect them, "she says, 'love you'."

 _Is this what it feels like to see your child suffer? Jesus, Olivia; what have you done?_ "Why does she do that Mama?" she sobbed, lunging herself at me, her arms tight around my neck as well as her legs around my torso, "Why doesn't she love me like she loves my brothers?"

I buried my face in her neck, I couldn't hold on any longer. Cassidy was hurting, _really_ hurting, "How long have you been feeling this way, Cassidy?" I said, attempting to hold some control over my wavering voice.

"Ever since last week when Noah and I fell downstairs," she said between sobs.

I remembered the incident very well. Olivia and I had the twins; we were walking around the courtyard, thankful that it yet had to snow. Cassidy was wearing her school uniform and her and Noah had been skipping and running in front of us. Cassidy tripped and on the pavement broke her tight on her knee and bled. Noah, not being careful, tripped over Cassidy but he had done no harm. Olivia gave me Hudson and ran to the kids but she aided Noah, who was fine and Cassidy who was bleeding and crying, was left without comfort until Noah had made it a point to tell his mother that Cassidy was the one bleeding, "Oh baby," I begun, "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

I rubbed soothing circles and rocked her side to side, her body continuing its shaking moves with her sobs, "Mommy loves you Cassidy, she does. Don't ever doubt it, ok?"

I could feel her tears on my neck, "That's not t—true," she said, hiccupping her words, "She t—took the day off for the twins and Noah's birthday. She was off for y—your birthday and you went on a trip together for your anniversary but she didn't do it for m—me," that sentence broke what was left of my heart and caused new tears in her eyes.

She was right, Olivia had taken off for all of those occasions so, why couldn't she do it for her daughter? I sighed and leaned back against the headboard and began humming the lullaby that seemed to calm her since the beginning. I accompanied my humming with some gentle rocking and the soothing motion of my hands on her back. Her sobbing faded and now it was only remnants that wracked her body. The silence that fell upon us was comforting and repairing. I didn't know what to say because not even I understood Olivia's possible reasoning behind this. In the quiet of the apartment, I heard the locks turn followed by the soft padding through the foyer and into the kitchen, "Fuck," it was mumbled but distinct. I heard the padding of boots down the hallway and into the media room and three soft knocks on what I could assume was Cassidy's door. The padding became frantic down the hallway and into Noah's room where hushed voices could be heard. The boots had made it back near the foyer where the home office was at, I knew why she was there, it was where Cassidy enjoyed sitting to read or play chess. There was an audible sigh and the padding was directed towards the living room and was now in our room where once she passed the walk-in close and bathroom door opened into the suite.

She smiled at me but I could only glare, "Hey, baby girl," she begun, addressing Cassidy who only buried her face deep into my neck and turned away from where Olivia was approaching us. She leaned down to kiss me and I turned my head away. She placed her hand in between Cassidy's shoulder blades and I felt the girl tense and grip me tighter, Olivia recognized the action and retrieved her hand quickly as if it had been burned, "Cassidy, baby talk to me. I'm sorry I missed your birthday party. I really wanted to be here but we got c—"

"It's ok," she said, unlatching her arms from around my neck, sniffling and wiping her face, "It's fine. I'm not worth remembering in your eyes anyways, I'm not Noah," she bit back. She kissed my cheek, "Good night Mama, I love you. Thank you for everything," she mentioned as she hopped off the bed on Olivia's side.

The statement Cassidy had made against her shocked Olivia but it was more hurt than shock. She sighed, scratching her brow, "Good night, Cassidy. I really am sorry sweet pea."

"'Night Livia," Cassidy mumbled, exiting the room.

Livia, she called her Livia; this was bad, this was real bad. Olivia sat on the bed and puffed, "She called me Livia, Tori. I really fucked up this time, huh?"

She hung her head in shame, "What do you think Olivia? You fucking made her sob in my arms for heaven's sake!"

"I know you said ten minutes but we caught a case and it was imp—"

"It's always important Olivia and I understand that, I do," I said closing my eyes and breathing hard, "Every time I have to make up an excuse to your children _for_ you, they look at me like I'm crazy because I keep trying to convince them and make the believe that you're out there doing what's right but guess what? You are choosing the job over your family Liv, that can't happen. You'll loose us," I stopped, letting my words sink in, as I stood to tie my hair. What I was about to do was going to hurt her even more but maybe this was the wake up call she needed, "Do you know why she was crying?"

Olivia looked at me as I entered and exited our shared closet. I was packing a bag, this was going to be the time where she either understood the gravity of the situation or there wasn't going to be any hope with us. It broke my heart but it had to be done, for the sake of my children, "What are you doing, Victoria?" she stood quickly and blocked my way.

"Answer me," I said, feeling my chin quiver.

"Of course, I missed her birthday. She's upset."

"No Liv, that's not it. She came in here asking me if the reason of your absence was because she was a girl," I said.

Olivia scoffed, "That's ridiculous!"

"Really? Because according to her, you love those boys more than her. You say 'I love you' to them but 'love you' to her, you aided Noah and not her when they fell and she was the one bleeding. You don't look at her the same way as you look the boys… or me. You took the days off for their birthdays but you missed hers. All I asked was for ten fucking minutes, Olivia," my tears were hot and steady on my cheeks.

One look at her told me everything I needed to know, she understood the level of her damage, "I—I didn't… I love her, how could she think… Oh my God, what have I… How do I fix this?" she rambled softly, "How do fix this?"

"I don't know, Liv but I'll give you some time to figure it out. Cassidy, the twins, and I will be leaving. I'll give you some time to get a feel of what not having Cassidy in your life feels like. Without Cassidy, there is no me and without me, no Hunter or Hudson. I'm sorry it was come to this but it has to be done," I finished, slinging the bag over my shoulder. I left the room, leaving Olivia standing in the middle of our room.

I walked towards the twins' room, immediately adjacent to ours and placed some clothing items, pull-ups, underwear, and shoes before exiting and walking to Cassidy's room. I walked in and did the same, placing everything in the duffel across my body. I let her know that we were going to be staying at Alex's for a few days, to pack her backpack with her electronics and to meet me in the boys' room. Noah was going to be difficult, he was to stay against everything in my being, he needed to stay. I walked in and sat on his bed, waking him. I explained what I was doing and to call Alex if he wanted to come over but he needed to stay. He cried and ran to the twins' room, I was hot on his trail. He hugged Cassidy, pleading her not to go. I _hated_ doing this but Olivia needed to understand what was happening. I grabbed Hunter, who was slightly heavier than Hudson and told Cassidy to grab Hudson.

"Noah, I love you. We'll be back, I promise we will just, think of this as a timeout for Mommy, baby. I'll be back, I promise we will," I said to the crying boy.

"Mama, please don't go. Please stay," his cheeks were red and sodden. It truly broke my heart but I needed Olivia to understand. This had nothing to do with not wanting to take Noah with me and everything to do with having her realize what her life would be like if we couldn't figure this out.

As we're walking out of the boys' room, she walked in," Please don't do this," she said, tears caught on her lash line, "Please," she pleaded.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, "I have to Olivia, maybe this way you'll realize what you've been missing out on. We all love you and miss you dearly when you're not here but this is not for me, this is for _**our**_ daughter; this is for her," I turned and continued my way to the door, my children in tow.

Once the door closed behind us, I couldn't stand to look back it. My resolve was too weak and if I did even chanced a glance back, I knew I was going to break and return. I couldn't do that to Cassidy. I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't keep forgiving Olivia for breaking our children's hearts. That was something that they needed to do on their own time and accord. It was their decision, not mine. Downstairs, the night was chilly, the wind had ferocity to it and it was not letting up. I ushered Cassidy to the SUV and sat Hunter first and then Hudson in their respective car seats and buckled them in, "Mama," Cassidy spoke.

"Yes, Cass?" She didn't spoke immediately and I looked up to meet her tear stained face, "Cass, what's wrong?"

"Are we going to see Mommy again?" her lip quivered and again my heart broke.

I nodded and cupped her cheek, "We will, I promise you that," I cleared my throat, "Mommy just needs a bit of time without us. A timeout of some sorts."

She tittered and nodded, sitting back on the last row of the SUV and buckling.

Here it was, the moment of truth.

God help us all.


	14. Mommy forgot my birthday, 2

_**Mommy forgot my birthday, 2**_ (Olivia's POV)

Noah and I stood in the empty room of the twins. He had been crying at one point but now his blue eyes were filled with disappointment. He was upset with me, I recognized that look; it was the same look that Victoria had given me before walking out of our home and it was probably the same look Cassidy would've had in hers if she'd looked my way. But she didn't. I had seriously hurt her and by hurting her I had hurt my wife, my most valuables treasures—my children and my wife—had been hurt for actions I've taken. Every cause has an effect and I was suffering mine and along the way, had brought Noah down with me.

"Mommy," Noah's voice snapped me from my internal quarrel.

I sniffled and cleared my throat, "Yes sweetheart?"

"I don't want to live alone," he said between tears, "I want Mama back, please."

Hearing my son bed for his mom was doing nothing to appease my hurting soul but this was essentially my fault and I had to fix it somehow. I had to make it right but how? "I'll get her back Noah, I will," I honestly said as I wrapped him in my arms.

Noah continually cried in my bed until after midnight when Morpheus was able to envelop him in his arms. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know where she was. I didn't know if she was just sleeping in the car with the kids but then again, she would never do that. She would legitimately leave the bed to all of us and shed sleep on the floor just to see us all comfortable. Not even with me fighting her would she yield to my request.

She was a great woman.

She is a great woman.

She made me a better woman, that's why I chose to spend the rest of my life with her and not just as my girlfriend but also as my wife, as the mother of my children. And, what a great woman I chose to be my partner in life. I trusted her with every fiber of my being. She is mine and I am hers until forever more. She brought into my life such light, such purity, such love that I'd struggled to feel before. It was instant, blinding, and deafening. I wasn't expecting it. Her love hit me like a bunch of bricks but even still underneath those bricks I could breathe. I could survive. I could live.

And, with her came that fiery redhead. Who would've thought that my love for Cassidy would be so instant, so natural, so gracious, and freeing? She was the definition of pure love. She had so much love to give, so much love stored in her four foot, three inch body that just being extended a portion of it was too much for my heart. I had my fears and still had my fears when it came to loving Cassidy. I was scared of projecting thins that happened in the past with my mother onto her. I didn't want her to hurt so I stayed away but by staying away, look what I did. I lost her today. She was gone. She wasn't two doors down like she was supposed to be, safely tucked in in her full size bed decorated with flowers, bees, and butterflies. I didn't know where she was and it was killing me inside.

Tears escaped my eyes, "What have I done?" I whispered into the darkness, flushing Noah against my side, succumbing to the pain that I had brought upon myself. I sobbed silently, careful not to stir and wake the sleeping form next to me.

I thought and reminisced on all the good times, on all the great times we had spent together, on the past four and a half, almost five years of my life together with Victoria. The first day she walked into the bullpen all bright eyed and ready to tackle the world. How that same day she collapsed in my arms and I discovered her brutally beaten body. How she felt sleeping next to me for those first nights as I woke her to check on her. The way she moaned my name the first time I made her mine. The day she brought Cassidy into our lives. When Cassidy called me Mommy for the first time. When Noah called her Mama. How distraught and restless I was those months when she didn't spoke to me and subsequently the months when she was without my reach, locked, and chained in a cold basement. The day we said 'I love you'. Those agonizing seconds before she accepted my marriage proposal. Our wedding day and night. The moment we decided to have children together. Her impish glare when she told me she was with-child. The twins' first kicks and the feel of her protruding stomach. Her annoying cravings. Her hormonal mood swings. The birth of the boys, our boys; those beautiful twin boys that she had given me, gone as well.

Three parts of my heart, gone. Three parts of my heart missing. I ached. I hurt. I was in pain.

At some point, I fell asleep and Noah woke me up. At first, I thought that I had fallen asleep with my clothes on because I'd been too tired to even attempt to take them off but slowly, reality slapped my face. All of the memories suppressed by sleep came flooding my brain too quickly. I felt dizzy and highly nauseous. My head hurt and it was too bright. I directed Noah to the kitchen for his breakfast. It was quiet, too quiet. Where was Cassidy commentary? Where were the twins' babbling and grumbling? Where was Noah's laughter? Where was Victoria's love? Nothing. It was like I was alone in this fucking house. I couldn't stand the quiet right now, "Noah, baby, turn on the TV, let's see what's on."

He looked up at me with redden eyes, "They're showing Hunter and Hudson's favorite cartoon," he mumbled as he sat at the breakfast bar.

"Ok, what about if you changed the channel buddy. I'm sure the are other shows," I say, clearly noticing the uneasiness in his voice.

"It's Cassidy's favorite movie, it just started too."

I ran my hands over my face, willing sleep out of my body and my tears back from falling, "Noah, what do you want for breakfast?"

He sighed and jump down from the stool, "I'm not hungry. I want Mama and Cassie and Hudson and Hunter back."

"Noah, b—"

"I'll be in my room," he said, quickly moving towards the home office and disappearing behind a wall.

I ran my fingers through my hair and braced myself against the breakfast bar. I breathed in hard. This was all my fault and I didn't even know how to begin to make it right. I clenched and unclenched my hands trying to think of something. I needed them back in this apartment. I was going to go crazy if I didn't have the jovial place I called home again. Noah, my sweet boy Noah, was clearly miserable and I'd been the cause of his misery. I marched to his room and knocked on the door, slowly opening it once I heard him talking to someone.

"Aunt Lex, I want to go with Mama," he spoke into the receiver, his back to the door.

"…"

"Mama," he exclaimed, "Mama please, I want to go with you, please."

"…"

He wiped his tears and sighed, "I'll tell her that Auntie Lexie is picking me up. I promise I won't tell her you're there Mama, I promise."

"…"

"I love you too, Mama," he was smiling. That's all it took, a few words from her and his mood had changed completely.

I neatly back from the door, shutting it softly and padding back to the kitchen. A few minutes later he approached me whilst I nursed my cup of coffee. He was dressed and had a backpack with him, "Where are you going, Noah?"

"Aunt Lex is picking me up. I told her that I didn't want to be home today. She said that she'll be here soon," he said, avoiding my eyes.

I cleared my throat, "And, when were you going to ask for permission?" I needed Noah by my side, now more than ever but I couldn't stand to see him I pain either.

He stared at his shoes and before he could answer, the locks began to turn and my body bolted to the foyer. I stood at the end in hopes of seeing Cassidy and the boys come running through the door but no, it was Alex. Just Alex, "You don't knock anymore?" I attempted to joke but her glare told me everything I needed to know.

"Noah," she addressed my son, "are you ready, sweetheart? Did you eat?"

Noah shook his head, "I just want to go with you, please Aunt Lexie, please," he bounced on his toes, eager to leave.

Alex turned to look at me or well, glare at me, "Noah, go wait in your room baby. I'll come get you before I go, I promise," she finished, turning towards him once more.

Noah nodded and retreated to his room. Once out of earshot, she let it pour on me, "What the hell, Olivia?"

"I know I fucked up, Alex. I don't need you yelling at me too," I defended as I turned towards the kitchen.

"Liv, Cassidy cried herself to sleep last night in her mother's arms! And, then, she cried herself to sleep in my arms," she paused as she made more space between the stools for her body on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, "The boys woke up this morning confused. They've been asking for you and Noah since they woke. Thankfully, your wife had to let them know that you were in timeout and your punishment was time without Cassidy and them."

I giggled at the thought as I rummaged through the kitchen, preparing Alex's cup of coffee.

"Oh, fucking great! This isn't funny, Liv," she shouted.

It all hit me again, the sudden realization that I was here, alone, in our home without my wife and three of my kids and that by the end of this conversation, my other kid was to be gone as well, "I know," I growled and turned to face her, "I know," my hands covered my face before my tears were fresh and streaming down my face.

Before I realized, I was wrapped in Alex's arms. Her citrus scent always lingered but it always brought me comfort, "Shh, shh, Liv," she cooed softly, bringing down my hands from my face, "what are you going to do to make this right?"

Her eyes weren't icy like they've been when she entered my door. They were warm. They were inviting, "I—I don't know, Al," I mumbled, sniffling and wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands, "I fucked up and I don't know what to do or how to fix it."

She rubbed my arm and offered me a sheep smile, "Olivia, Cassidy thinks…"

"I know what she thinks, alright," I bit back before she had the chance to finish her sentence, "It's not true, Alex. You know it isn't!"

She brought her hand to cup my cheek and erase any remnant tears on my lash line, "I know," she said with a smile, "but she doesn't. You have to prove it to her. She needs to know that your love for her is equal as the love you have for all the boys. She needs to know that this," she emphasized with her hands, "this is all a big misunderstanding. You have to."

I sighed as I closed my eyes. Alex was right, she needed proof, "Alex, how am I going to prove to her that I would lay down my life for her. For her or any of her brothers. That girl," I paused, my tears coming back without a warning or regard for my ego, "that girl is everything to me, Al," my voice was barely a whisper, "They all are."

Alex smiled and ran both her thumbs underneath each of my eyes, her hands squeezing my face, "Remember our first fight as a couple?" Where the hell was she going with this? I nodded, "Remember what you did for me?"

How could I've been so stupid, of course I did. Alex and I had fought about her not understanding what it was to struggle. It had been after a big case and I was just testy and all around a pain in her ass about how easy she had it growing up, how everything was handed to her, and how she didn't know struggle if it hit her in the face. She was hurt because even though she didn't have my struggle, she had her own. She never shared losing her best friend, but thinking back to that particular fight, that was her main struggle for almost sixteen years.

"What would I do without you, Lex?" I say, leaning my forehead against hers.

She tittered, "End up divorced," she concedes, playfully slapping my arm, "Now, I'll take Noah and you have until three this afternoon Olivia Benson, three to make this right before I bring them back. Understood?"

I chuckled, "Understood."

* * *

Alex had ended up taking Noah back to her home where Victoria was. I still thought that Victoria didn't know I knew that she was staying there with her. Though, I would've never thought that she would go to her parents as her dad would've had my head by now but maybe she thought I thought that she would spend the night at a hotel, just to clear her mind but it was obvious, of course she was going to go to Alex, it was the most plausible option. Just like if anything happened and I would've been the one to end up out of the house, Alex's house would've been my stop though, I now that she was back, I could've leaned more on Casey.

I made a trip to the art supplies store and got a couple of mason jars, as well as a couple strands of battery powered string lights. I picked up cardboard and a few finger paints to use. I bought glue and colored gel pens. If I was to make this right, I had to go all out. I even stopped at the florist and after explaining that they were for my daughter, the owners suggested Impatiens in vibrant red, pink, and magenta for my little fire engine.

I arrived back at the house and began working. I inserted a couple of string lights inside the mason jars after making sure they were on and placed them on the floor, lighting a path with a combination of batter operated tea lights from the foyer until the living. I had used the red impatiens to spread across the floor as well to give it a more romantic scene and gesture. I sat at the breakfast bar and thought of eleven reasons of why my love for Cassidy was so strong and pure. Eleven, because that's how old she was now. They all came easy to me. I didn't hesitate or wavered once. I battled with my tears but was able to finish writing them all and stuffing them inside of the last jar I had gotten. I used the finger paints to write on the cardboard 'Happy Bday Cassidy' and in small cursive letters the words 'I'm sorry'. I decorated the cardboard with doodles and made it as "cute" as possible without mangling the job I had done.

Glancing at the stove clock I noticed I only had an hour before Alex promised to be back with them. I quickly ran to my room to shower and change. I decided to wear the light jumper that Cassidy had gifted me for Mother's Day. It was a grey sweater with red hearts on the elbows. I paired it with dark wash skinny jeans and bare feet. Victoria had a strict no shoes indoor policy. I chuckled at the thought of her bickering at the kids and I, unless, of course, we were having a party at the house. I smiled, as I looked at myself in our closet mirror. I hoped Cassidy would forgive me. What I'd done was unforgivable and in the process, I had hurt not only her but my other three kids. I was jarred from my thoughts when I heard the turning of the locks. I quickly ran out of the room and pulled the curtains in the living room shut, allowing the open area to fall into a romantic cast of light provided by the tea lights, mason jars, and candles all over the room.

"Mama," Noah said, once he saw all that was going on.

"I know," Tori said breathlessly, "Liv, what is all this?" I could see her eyes brimming with tears as she balanced Hunter on her hip.

"Mommy," yelled the boy, once his eyes adjusted to the slight cast.

I could hear Alex talking to Cassidy and the soft padding of Hudson's footsteps as I stepped forward to pick up Hunter from Victoria's arms. I kissed the twins and told them how much I loved them and placed them down and ushered them to sit on the couch.

"Cassidy?" I cooed softly, waiting for the girl to step from behind Alex's body. Her eyes and mines locked and I pushed past Noah, but not before placing a kiss to his hair. I knelt I front of Alex, "Cassidy, I will not say sorry to you because I am sure you already know that I am. I am very disappointed in myself because I forgot to take time out of my day to come wish you a happy birthday. It is not a sin to forget someone's birthday but it is one when you forget to wish it, even when you remember it. But, I do hope you forgive me, baby girl," my eyes were burning now with tears, "I know what you think about me and the boys but that's not true, Cassidy, it is not true. I love you more than life itself, I love all of you the same way and it is my fault that you had those thoughts because I made the mistake of distancing myself from you. I know this is not what you wanted and I know you would've preferred for me to be there yesterday but I hope I can make it up to you."

Cassidy too had tears falling down her face just as mine made a point to fall. She stepped from behind Alex and clashed with my body, her arms wrapping around my neck in a tight embrace. I smiled and more tears fell down my face. I used my legs and stood us both, her legs circled around my torso as I carried her towards the center of the living room. I rubbed her back gently as I knelt once more, coaxing her to release me so that I could hold her at arms length. Before I could say what I needed to say, she interrupted quickly, "I'm sorry for calling you Livia, Mommy," she giggled, wiping tears from her cheeks, "I was angry, really angry at you but I forgive you Mommy. I love you."

"And, I love you Cassidy Jade," she smiled big at the sound of my words, "I love you so, so much," I finished, running my hands down her coppery locks. I stood and walked towards the couch, where I had placed the bouquet of impatiens and the mason jar with the words I needed her to hear, "Here, this are for you," I said, handing her the bouquet, "These are called Impatiens. The owners at the flower shop said that they represent 'motherly love' and I got them in red, pink, and magenta because those colors are the most vibrant and when you look at them, I want you to think about how vibrant my love for you is," she smiled and turned towards Alex and Tori whom were sitting side by side, attempting to fight their tears but losing the battle all too quickly, "And, this, is just eleven reasons out of the billions upon billions that I love you so."

"Thank you Mommy, I love you too," she said, placing a kiss to my nose.

Victoria cleared her throat, "Cass, baby, read them aloud."

She nodded, "Will you hold my flowers, Mama?"

"Yes baby," Tori said as she reached for the bouquet.

"Cassidy's Happiness Jar," she commenced reading the label I had made for the outside of the jar. She smiled and turned to Noah, "Could you help me, Noah?"

Noah hummed and collected the jar from her hands, twisting the cap easily. She could've done it as well but Noah liked opening jars for us, even after they had been opened. I tittered at the scene unfolding in front of me and sat on the floor, feeling Hudson climb on my lap as Hunter returned to sit on Tori's lap.

Cassidy reached inside and pulled the first piece of paper; "You make me very proud to be your mother. I know that our relationship is not perfect, but I love that it's strong and real. I love you, sweetheart."

She smiled and went to sit on the floor as well, folding her legs underneath her body and placing the paper next to her. I had made it a point to note that I loved her in almost all of the pieces I wrote. I needed her to know it but most importantly, I needed her to believe it.

She reached inside for the second piece, "In my life, you are the sweetest melody and the brightest ray of light. Keep shining, my sweet one. I will be right here watching you conquer the world."

She repeated the movement of placing the paper next to her body and I saw Noah join her on the floor, his smile genuine, much like hers, "From the very first moment I spent time with you, you ran away with my heart. I will never stop loving you, my dear daughter."

By now, Alex, Victoria, and Hunter had joined us on the floor. Victoria sat next to me and melded our lips together, whispering her love to me before smiling and nodding in approval. She too sat with her legs folded underneath her, Hunter sitting contently on her lap; "My life is chaotic most of the time, but I will not trade one moment of it for anything else. You keep me young and you keep me feeling loved! I love you, baby girl!"

She chuckled at the pet name, "I'm not a baby anymore, Mommy."

"Listen, until the day I die, all four of you will be my babies, understood?" I chided playfully.

Cassidy rolled her eyes and smiled, "Fine, I can live with that," she said, causing the two women besides me to giggle as well. She pulled another piece, "I loved you for the charming little girl that you were, the courageous woman that you're growing to be, and the amazing daughter that you've always been!"

Victoria sighed next to me and leaned her head against my shoulder, her arm snaking through mine, our fingers interlacing together; "Most of the time, a kiss and a hug from you is all it takes to make everything right in the world again. I love you, my dear daughter."

I brought our hands to my lips and kissed her knuckles and smiled, mouthing the words 'I love you' knowing that she was watching my every move, "You will always be a source of inspiration and forever you will be my beautiful little girl."

Cassidy sighed and bit her lip, her heart presumably swollen with all the love radiating towards her from all of us, "I can't imagine my life without you in it, my little fire engine. Living without you is living without color and life without color is but a dull rerun of the most boring sitcom," she giggled at this one, "Mommy, is this supposed to be a pun about my hair?" she asked, removing lose strands of hair that had stuck to her tear stained cheeks.

I tittered and ran my free hand over Hudson's chestnut curls, "I mean, no but now that you say it, it does make sense, huh? You're the one only one with vibrant hair."

"Olivia," Victoria admonished playfully.

"Hey, she's the one who called it, alright?"

Cassidy shook her head, "Oh, leave her alone Tori," Alex said, "you know you were thinking it," she chuckled.

"I'll never admit to any of that," she too chuckled, "Continue baby, I believe you have three more left in there."

Cassidy nodded and reached once more in the jar, "You, my daughter, are the funniest person I know and I couldn't imagine my life without you."

"Hey, I thought I was the funniest," Noah pouted.

"Noah, baby, we all know Cassidy gives you those jokes," I said, holding back my laughter.

"But Mommy, the way I say them is what makes it funny," he said, shaking his head, smiling.

I scoffed and laughed, conceding to his statement, "I have a daughter who has taught me a lot along the way. She has given me whole new perspective. She has taught me what it is to love in the most amazing way possible. She has taught me what it is to love myself just because I love her," I could hear Victoria sniffling at this one and it was true. I had learned through Victoria that how I referred to my body in front of Cassidy was to be the same way that she referred to hers one day. We all knew Victoria loved my body; she loved it more than I did at times. Even with its fleshy areas, she still enjoyed and loved devouring every inch of skin. Not just for her pleasure but for mines too. Cassidy was growing up and each day her body took a new shape and it resembled my curvy statue than Victoria's beautiful pear shaped body. I had to be careful and I had to praise myself and receive well the compliments awarded respectfully to me if I wanted my daughter to do the same.

"Ok, last one," she said, looking up at me and sighing contently, "Forever, my princess, you will be. I love you with all my heart, sweet pea," she leaned forward and crawled over to me, "I love you too Mommy but did you have to rhyme on the last one?" She was in a fit of laughter.

"Hudson," I say, getting the attention of the boy on my lap. Much like his mom, his grey stare was penetrating, "What do you say we tickle Cassidy since she wants to laugh so much."

Hudson poked Cassidy's neck, using his little fingers to tickle her mercilessly. Soon, Alex, Noah, Hunter, and I had joined in on tickling the girl. She writhed on the floor, attempting to escape her fate. She tapped on the floor twice and we all stopped. She continued to laugh as she sat, "I love you Mommy, thank you."


	15. New Addition

_**New Addition**_

It was way past midnight and Olivia had just walked through the door, exhausted from a long day at work. After the whole debacle with Tiffany and shortly after with Cassidy, she had made it a point to only work late unless absolutely necessary. In the past few weeks she had been arriving fairly early from work and at the beginning of the week she even beat me home. I worked full ten-hour days and was home every day half past six or fifteen to seven. I didn't go early enough to not be there for the kids in the morning and was not that late back to not cook for them and help out with their homework if necessary. We had fallen into a manageable groove and it felt amazing. It did! My wife was home and in bed with me when I fell asleep and seemingly when I woke, unless a major case broke out in the middle of the night.

Olivia had returned from the shower and crawled into bed next to me. She hummed and rolled over until her body collapsed with mine, "Easy there, road roller," I playfully said, gaining myself a pinch on my side, "Hey! That's domestic abuse," I finished between giggles, draping my arm around my wife, pulling her closer to me.

She hummed once more and laid her head on my chest, her left arm draping over my midsection. She had pushed my camisole up to underneath my breasts and began caressing my stomach with her thumb, "Then we'll both go to jail. I'll say you were abusing me first, psychologically," she tittered as I felt her lashes kissing my skin.

"No judge is going to believe that, I have physical evidence of your abuse."

"So do I!" she piped quickly, "Remember last week? When I couldn't put make up over the bite mark you left on my neck and the entire squad knew what the hell I'd done in the interrogation room?" she relished.

I was thankful that she couldn't see the sudden red tint that had covered my cheeks. Of course I'd remembered, but to my defense, who could honestly resist Olivia when she worked a perp? "No comeback, huh? It's because I'm right."

"Whatever, I didn't hear you complain while I was doing it," I mused smugly.

Olivia's voice dropped suddenly, "I mean, who could say no to such beautiful woman?" she mentioned as she turned her head and dropped a few kisses to the exposed skin of my chest.

I scoffed playfully and shook my head, running my hand over Olivia's smooth skin. We fell into companionable silence. We relished and manifested truly at times like these, when everything was quiet around us, when we didn't have the kids around constantly begging and wanting our attention. It was just we. And, even if no words were spoken, I felt her love and I was sure she felt mine. Every time she sighed contently or she hummed in approval or she scooted closer to my body let me know that it was felt and it was meant. We existed in this moment. Only us, and nothing that surrounded us mattered. Not when we were like this. Not when we loved like this.

Olivia's left palm was flat against stomach, moving gingerly across it and I could feel her smile. We had been discussing and preparing for another insemination to bring forth—hopefully—Benson Kid number five. Again, I wanted to carry Olivia's child but she was adamant in her decision and as her wife, I needed to support it. She wanted nothing to do with reproduction in fear of her genes. Once more, I had assured and reassured that specific traits weren't passed down. I knew what her fears were. She had mentioned it before. She had made it known that 'half her genes were drunk and the other a violent rapist' but look at the beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman "those" genes had brought forth. Of course she was having none of that and dismissed every point I had tried to make so this time around I offered her the chance to carry my child. She went into a comical dissertation stating silly points such as "I'm not a spring chicken anymore", "My job is too risky", "What will I look like pregnant at this age?", "There's just too many risks, Tori"; and even though that last statement was partially true, the risks weren't because she had conceived this child it was when it came to labor the risk of hemorrhaging and/or infection. She wanted nothing to do with carrying our child and though I hated the idea of her not experiencing pregnancy, she was the most amazing person to have around when expecting.

She hummed once more and snuggled closer, her hand circling my stomach, "Penny for your thoughts?" I gently prodded.

"I just can't wait until this," she said, motioning her hand atop my abdomen, "is swollen and full of life," she mentioned, snuggling close to my body, "I loved seeing you pregnant with the twins."

"Yea, we didn't know it'd be twins though. My belly was small for twins," I said, scratching her scalp.

"But it was your first pregnancy too, maybe this time around you'll get bigger."

I couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sure you're looking forward more than just a swollen belly, Mrs. Benson."

Olivia chuckled, "Oh, yes," she said, "You libido was… astonishing. Not that it wasn't or isn't already but… wow!"

I swatted her shoulder playfully, "Liv!"

"What? Don't act like you're so surprised, Victoria. When you were pregnant with the twins we had sex _on top_ of a squad car, _outside_ of the precinct, _in broad daylight_ ," she snickered, "I am the Commanding Officer of the Sex Crimes unit, Tori," she stopped, letting the statement sink in.

Yes, I understood that was reckless of our part but I couldn't resist her. I'd been called in to watch a father/daughter questionable relationship and when I walked through the bullpen, Olivia was chatting with their ADA and from the looks of it, it was a lighthearted conversation. She was laughing and her smile was big on her face. She looked amazing and my body reacted accordingly, "Ok, you're exaggerating. It wasn't broad daylight. It was winter so the sun was beginning to set and there were about five officers that day and you know it. It's the only way it happened. And, if memory serves me right, baby; you came so hard that you forgot where you were momentarily," I smirked.

She buried her face in my neck and placed a kiss there, "You have that effect on me, Tori," she whispered contently.

I giggled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, "Do you want us to go with the same donor of the twins?" She asked rapidly.

"Actually, Liv," I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, preparing for the possible backlash I could receive when brushing this subject, "I want a blue-eyed donor."

Olivia hitched a breath but remained silent. The hand that had been religiously caressing my abdomen had since stilled and I feared that I had made a big mistake, "W—Why?"

 _Ok, she's speaking to you. That's good, just talk to her, have her understand!_ "I want every part of you in my body, Liv. If you'd been a man, trust me when I say I'd be pregnant more often," she chuckled, her hand slowly picking up the ministrations she had stopped, "Since you aren't and I only live to make you happy and reproduce for you, I want the possibility of giving you a child that resembles your mother, baby. And, I know you and her didn't have the best relationship but she's still a part of you. The boys couldn't look more like you if it were possible and that's what I want, _your_ children."

I gave her time to recover. I had unloaded a lot on her and even though what I was saying was physically impossible it could be made happen with the correct donor. It had happened on more than one occasion. We could be out, at a park, and if I stepped away from Olivia and the kids surrounded her, there was no denying they were her children. Of course Noah and Cassidy were adopted but no one knew unless we told them. That's what I wanted. That's what I wanted for her. No one could ever say that these weren't her children, they resembled her the most, and they _were_ hers no ifs, ands, or buts. This was her legacy. I had taken her name and made it mine. I was hers—no matter how misogynistic it sounded. If I couldn't have Olivia's genes from her, then our next bet would be having them through a donor that resembled her mother, minus the alcoholic part.

"You want a dirty blonde, olive toned, blue eyed kid?" she spoke. I couldn't quite decipher if it was meant as a quip or not.

"A little Olivia. Another little Olivia," I followed her lead.

"We already have three and a half of those," she said breathily, stumbling on her giggles.

"Three and a half?" a furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Well yes, Hudson. He tends to favor you at times, especially when he wants something," she finished.

I shook my head in disbelief, _three and a half_ , "You still haven't answered my question."

She sighed and I held her close, not wanting the moment to end and not wanting her to feel pressured but this was to be her child as well and the decision was ours to make, "You're not letting this go, huh?"

"I just want to make you happy," I said in a breathy sigh.

"You already have, Tori. You've given me the blessing of four children that I, in a million years, never thought of having. And, now," she paused momentarily, "now we're going for a fifth one, babe. I am beyond happy and _the_ luckiest woman on Earth," she finished, placing kisses on my chest, "I love you."

I smiled at her words, "I love you too."

"Let's go with the blue-eyed donor. I'm sure my mother would've loved a grandchild that resembled her," she finished with a yawn and a giggle.

I breathed out and tightened my hold on her, letting her know that I had heard her loud and clear, "When do you want to start?" she asked, her excitement noticeable.

"I'll call Dr. St. Hilaire in the morning to schedule the physical and we can go tomorrow to the cryobank and look through donors. I know you're ready for the process to get started."

"Yes, yes I am. Are you worried?"

Worried? Where did that come from? "Are you worried, baby?"

She nodded against my chest, "I'll always worry about you and the kids. But, I'm not worried about the procedure," she yawned again.

"Then, if we're not worried, let's sleep baby. I love you," I said, kissing her forehead and lacing my right hand with her left.

"I love you too," she replied, kissing my chest and snuggling close.


	16. Donor 9888

_**Donor 9888**_

The day had come, it was finally here, and we couldn't be happier because it was physically impossible. We had enjoyed a beautiful, white Christmas and a fabulous New Year's and today, January fourth would be the day we conceived our newest addition to our family. Olivia and I had kept quiet about the procedure and our decision, not wanting the added stress our friends and family members could possibly bring. Only her and I knew about the plan and though you could probably tell, from Olivia's newfound mood and spring in her step, every one around us just chalked it up to an amazing home life. We had made an appointment for the very first time available and now we sat in the lobby of our doctor waiting to be called back.

I sat with my legs crossed, my hands atop my knee, fidgeting with my wedding set, "Baby," Olivia husks silently. I turned my head and smiled, "Relax, we've done this before."

I sighed, "I know, I know. I don't know why I'm so nervous."

Olivia grabbed and brought my hands to her chest, "We're going to be ok and so will our child."

I closed my eyes and willed my body to relax, "Benson?" called the medical assistant.

My eyes flew open and were met with Olivia's beautiful smile. A red tint fell upon my cheeks as Olivia stood and brought me up with her. We walked towards the door that directed us to the exam and procedure rooms, "We're going to set you up in room two," said the medical assistant. We nodded and approached the door, slowly opening it and crossing the threshold. Olivia took a seat in the provided chair and I climbed the bed and breathed out, "Please change to the provided gown and Dr. St. Hilaire will be with you momentarily."

She left us to our volitions and I began disrobing. Olivia watched me intently as I slowly undid the buttons of my blouse and untangled it from the waist of my skirt. She had always enjoyed the intimacy of disrobing. Whether it was for sex, a shower, or a change of clothing, she truly enjoyed watching me divest for her. I smiled as I felt the lingering stare of my wife all over my body and I turned to reach for the gown that had been neatly placed and folded on the exam bed. I heard Olivia's breathing change and I knew she was staring at the swell of my bottom. That woman and her love for my ass both figuratively and literally. I shook my head and entered my arms through the gown, turning slowly to face Olivia, "Help?" she asked.

"Please," I answered, turning and sweeping my hair over my shoulder.

She stood and approached me, grabbing the strings at the nape of my neck and tying them securely. Her nimble fingers wandered down my spine to my waist, causing goosebumps and a shiver from me. She landed at my waist, where the next pair of strings were and tied them there. Her arms circled to my front where she hugged and pressed my body into hers. She brought her lips to my exposed neck and unable to resist anything this woman had to offer and/or give, I craned my neck and allowed her access to more skin as I melted in her touch. We stood there, my arms wrapped around hers and hers around my torso as we waited for Dr. St. Hilaire to grace us with his presence and it almost went unnoticed when he opened and stepped through the door, "I love how in love you two are," he spoke silently, attempting not to startle us.

Olivia cleared her throat and released me from her hold, "How are you Dr. St. Hilaire?"

"Doing swell, doing well," he mentioned, smiling as he sat on his stool, "Please, sit."

Olivia circled the exam table to have a view of the screen on the left side of it whilst I climbed it effortlessly and leaned back, "Nervous, are we?"

"Well," Olivia began with a smile, "she is but I'm not."

"I'm the one that's getting poked and prodded today, Liv."

Dr. St. Hilaire snickered, "I know you hate seeing me, Dr. Benson but I promise you, I'm not half as bad as you think."

I chuckled at the man's humor. He had been Olivia's gynecologist for the longest time and after we married, I'd change for convenience purposes. The man was great at his job and he had been the one to inseminate, take care, watch, and deliver the twins, "I know, I just hate the gynecologist in general."

He chuckled and swatted his knees, "Alright, so, do I need to explain what I'll be doing here? I mean, you already know what's going to be happen and I like to provide commentary as the procedure takes place."

I looked at Olivia at the same time she looked at me. We both shook our heads, "No, we know," I answered.

"Ok," he said as he stood, walking towards the door and calling for his nurse.

The procedure was meant to be short and sweet and he had everything that he needed to perform it as well. In a matter of seconds his nurse was in the room with us. She prepped the stirrups and beckoned me closer to the edge of the table. I did as I was told and she placed each of my legs on the stirrups and very expertly, she hiked my gown up at the same time she draped the blue sterile sheet over my center. I held my gown up, underneath my breasts and watched as she placed the ultrasound gel. I shivered slightly at the coldness of it and she quickly apologized. She turned around and approached Dr. St. Hilaire whilst he scrubbed and prepped and opened a pack of sterile gloves. He slipped them on and waited until she did the same, both of them eyeing that everything had been placed where it needed to be, "I'm going to read the label on the vial of the sample just to make sure everything is correct before we begin," the nurse spoke, "Washed sample of Donor 9888, negative for CMV—is that correct?"

"It is," I answered.

She nodded and turned to prepare the needle and the cervical cap. She rapidly moved to the opposite side of Olivia and placed and smeared the gel with the wand. Dr. St. Hilaire sat and elevated the sterile sheet, "Alright, Victoria deep breaths, relax for me. Olivia, work your magic with your wife, please and don't mind us."

Olivia placed her right hand behind my head and with her left one she grabbed my left. I turned my head and met her glossy stare. Nothing had happened yet and she was already emotional, "Liv," I breathed out.

She smiled and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss to my lips, "I love you," she whispered against my lips before diving once more for another kiss. She hovered over my face, our thumbs caressing each other's skin, "Are you ready to be a mom again?"

I tittered softly as I felt Dr. St. Hilaire between my legs, applying the lubricant and placing vaginal speculum, "I am, are you ready for the annoying cravings and crazy libido?"

"Oh," Olivia chuckled, "I'll take those any day over the mood swings and constant crying. You know, you're a great pregnant woman."

" _Placing camera. Lorna, a little more to the left… there, perfect._ "

"Oh, thank you, baby," I mused as I felt him move once again, "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

" _Placing sperm. Slight pull, Victoria_."

I winced slightly, "I don't know, I think after everything I want another boy. As is, Cassidy is giving us a run for our money and I kind of like having her as the only girl," Olivia spoke softly near my face.

" _Great job, now placing cervical cap._ "

I felt the doctor move between my legs, "Really? Who would've thought? I think I'm with you though, I enjoy having Cassidy as the only girl but I wouldn't be opposed to it being differently."

" _Cervical cap placed, you did great doctor_ ," Dr. St. Hilaire mused as he removed the speculum slowly.

I bit my lip and shut my eyes, "You ok, baby?" Olivia asked.

I nodded, "Ok, we'll clean you up quickly and try not to move for forty five minutes. After that I'll be back so that we can talk further," Dr. St. Hilaire nodded and exited the room with the nurse.

Olivia squeezed my hand and as I turned my head her lips crashed to mine. I could feel the moisture of her cheeks against mine and I couldn't help but feel elated. Olivia deepened the kiss with fervor and purpose and I couldn't help but release the moan that lurked at the back of my throat. Her need for air came before mine and she pulled back and sniffled, quickly stealing two kisses. I captured her bottom lip between my teeth and held her in place, bringing my right hand to the side of her neck, urging her to stay. It was my turn to deepen the kiss. I felt Olivia's tongue roam in my mouth, looking for that pillowy muscle to meld with hers. Once it did, it was a welcomed dance for dominance. The need for air became grand and we broke apart. Her forehead rested against mine and I attempted to have a read of her eyes but they were hidden from me, all I could see was the faint smile on her lips.

"I love you," she whispered, "I love you so much. You've made me _the_ happiest woman on Earth, Tori. You and the kids are the reason for my happiness and now, with this little nugget…"

My eyes at this point had been clouded by the sting of fresh tears, I ran my thumb against her cheekbone and breathed evenly, "Let me see you, baby," I pled, "Let me see those beautiful eyes." She opened her eyes slowly, a tear escaping from her lash line. I smiled coyly, "I love you too, Olivia."

She leaned and brought our lips together once more, "Are we going to tell people?"

"No," I piped quickly, too quickly for comfort and it didn't go past Olivia either, "What I mean is, I'd like to wait until I'm at least out of the three month window."

Olivia squeezed the hand in her hold, "What if I can't contain myself?" she said softly.

I giggled, "Olivia Margaret Benson, am I going to need for you to sign a NDA?"

She laughed heartily, the sound filling the room, "You might! Remember how it was with the twins? I think I went out the next day and bought you your first pair of maternity jeans," she finished, smirking.

"Oh God," I rolled my eyes at the memory, "It's like you couldn't wait to see me swollen. I didn't even use them until well into my last trimester, Liv."

"Yea, well, you needed them, didn't you? You kept buying skirts and complaining your legs were cold."

"Baby, I was peeing too much, I needed something that I could take off quickly without having to fidget too much with it. Skirts and dresses were the best thing."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Am I going to have to hide your heels, again?"

I looked down my nose and onto her chin. I knew where she was going with this. I refused to wear flats for work during the twins' pregnancy and would have either Noah or Cassidy or both of them, put on and tie my sandal heels for me when necessarily. It wasn't until well into my seventh month that Olivia hid all of my heels and heeled boots that I started wearing ballet flats and flat boots, "If you love me, you'll let me wear my shoes until at least the seventh month again."

"Victoria," she admonished softly, "why are you being so difficult?"

"If this takes, the baby would be here in September; it'll be hot out still," I bargained.

"It _will_ take and he or she _will_ be here by the end of September. I know you have what it takes to make this baby happen, baby," she said, kissing my forehead.

"Are you going to let me wear my heels?"

She scoffed playfully and smiled, "As soon as you start complaining that your feet hurt, they will be all gone," I opened my mouth to protest, "I don't want to hear it Victoria Thalia Paige, I don't."

I loved it when she used my full name, "I think the libido is starting to rise, Liv."

She looked at me with playful eyes and a cute, small smirk on her lips, "Your libido has always been on the rise. Thank God you feed me well, otherwise, I think I'd be deficient in some body minerals."

Now it was my turn to laugh. I kept all of my babies fed and happy. Noah, in his growing spurt had been eating like a pigeon—in small quantities but constantly. If I wasn't careful, he could gain weight in the ill manner, so I kept the fridge stocked with cut fruit, fresh salsa and guacamole, and a variety of trail mixes, cheeses, and yogurt. As a health professional, I prided myself in cooking healthy but tasty choices for both the adults and kids' enjoyment. No one could tell me that my kids were picky eaters because they thoroughly enjoyed everything and were adamant on trying everything once before stating that they didn't like it. Cassidy, if you let her, she would eat any and everything placed in front of her, especially if it was something that had cheese. The boys had a distinct palate when it came to snacking, they didn't just want cheese and crackers, no; they wanted a small cheese platter with grapes and crackers. That's why they loved going to Alex's house so much, she would spoil them like that, "I do keep you fed," I said, my voice dripping in sex.

"Stop," she tittered and blushed, "we can't have sex in here and you know we can't have sex at all for at least a couple of hours, so stop."

I groaned, "Fine, be that way."

She shook her head and looked at my eyes and for a moment we both got lost in each other's stare; her in my stormy grey gaze and me in her rich, chocolaty one. She was conveying such love and rawness that it was hard for me to look away, "I love you," I expressed quickly.

"And, I you, baby," she replied.

The sudden shrill of my phone came blaring through the otherwise silent room. Olivia and I though engaged in a conversation, we were almost whispering to each other, enjoying the private moment. Olivia approached my purse and reached inside for my phone, "It's Fitzgerald," she mentioned, handing me the smartphone.

"Dr. Reyes-Benson," I answered.

" _Fitzgerald—Victoria, how is everything? I know you asked to come in later for a doctor's appointment_ ," he asked genuinely.

"I'm wrapping up soon, am I needed somewhere?"

" _Actually, you are,_ " he said somberly, " _The request just came in, they need you for three months in Stafford, VA for training purposes._ "

What? Training? No, I couldn't leave, let alone for three months. I'm a mother, a wife… I could be housing a life now, I can't go to no damned training, "Uh, sir…"

" _I know, I know,_ " he interrupted," _but it is mandatory and it is coming from higher upstairs. You won't be undergoing the physical aspect as returning special agents other than your morning routine. Since you've been working so closely with special victims, they're sending you for training in sexual medicine._ "

I knitted my brow and closed my eyes, raking my teeth across my bottom lip, "It seems like I have no choice, when do I have to leave?"

"What?" Olivia said breathily.

" _You're scheduled to leave on the twelfth. And, Victoria, I know you're a mother and a wife but unfortunate—_ "

"I know, no need to remind me of that, sir. Thank you," Fitzgerald wasn't one to dive in formalities and he just hung up.

"Leaving? Where?" Olivia begun.

"Quantico, for three months. Sexual Medicine training," I slowly opened my eyes and felt my tears fall.

She was quick to catch them as she smiled, "We'll be ok, baby. I promise."


	17. Without Mama

_**Without Mama**_

(Olivia's POV)

She had gone. Every time I left the house, I felt like I was missing or forgetting something, it was her. The first two weeks of this three-month arrangement had been horrendous. Cassidy hadn't been able to sleep soundly through the night, resulting in calls from her teachers saying that she had dozed off momentarily in class. Noah had gotten sick and usually, when one of the kids took ill we would divide our time, equally, and spend time with them at home. Not having the luxury of it this time around, it had resulted in a teary conversation with Casey which sprung Alex into action and I was finally able to sleep for more than four hours. The boys seemed fine at the beginning but one night I came home to Lucy giving me complaints about the boys' behavior, behavior that they didn't display _ever_ and behavior that took me aback. Of course this was all happening because their mom wasn't at home with us and I had to understand that. They were used to seeing both of us together, always. No matter what, we were both here for them.

Alex and Casey, now that we had her back, came over quite often to both check on me and the kids. I was thankful for Casey. Of course I had Alex's friendship but it felt… off for lack of a better word between her and I. Casey on the other hand, was always a breath of fresh air to have around and I loved my time with her. Casey was, in all sense of the word, my best friend and losing her for a period time because of her time with the US Attorney's Office in DC had really crushed me. We were both at fault, neither really made an effort to see the other one and no one was to blame except for us. I took the blame a little more to heart because I never invited her to my wedding so seeing her for the first time in almost eight years, standing in my kitchen, chatting with my wife really had the same sensation of walking into a wall would give you. Victoria retired that evening to a relaxing hour-long bath whilst Alex, Casey, and I rekindled in the living room. And, honestly, afterwards she had returned and sat between my legs and just listened to how much we missed Casey. Later, when in bed, she had asked if Casey and I had been involved romantically but not out of jealousy but out of sheer curiosity. My answer had been no because I always felt that Casey had a thing for Alex that either was never acknowledged by either woman or Casey didn't know how to express those feelings to the intimidating blonde.

"Mommy," Noah interrupted my thoughts.

I smiled and sat my cup of tea on my bedside table, "Yes, sweetheart? Come in," I said as I patted the bed on the other side of me.

Noah rushed inside and climbed the bed effortlessly, settling on my thighs, his eyes staring up mine. He hesitated briefly. I recognized this behavior; he was trying to ask me something without upsetting me, "Could I ask you something?"

I smiled and began running my fingers through his locks, "You already did," I quipped, "but yes, you can ask me anything."

"Is—Is Mama ok?" he said, slowly blinking.

I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, "Yes, she is, baby. Why do you ask?"

Again, he blinked slowly and settled further on my lap, his fingers playing with the fabric of my robe, "We haven't talked to her and I wanted to make sure she was ok," he went quiet briefly, "I miss her."

Oh my sweet, sweet boy. He knew always how to tug at my heartstrings. My stomach somersaulted inside of me, "I'm sure she is ok, sweet boy. Remember how Mama told you that she was going to be where they train all of the FBI agents?" he nodded, "Well, let's just say, no one in their right mind is going to trespass or attempt anything against that entire base. And, I miss her too buddy, so much."

He smiled gingerly and his eyes fluttered, "Could we go out to Mama's favorite brunch place tomorrow? And, maybe bring aunt Lex and Casey."

"Friend of a Farmer?" I asked, not sure if he was referring to that one. He nodded, "Sure baby, I'll call your aunt Lex and Casey."

He smiled, "Thank you, Mommy."

"You're welcome baby," I said, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his temple, "Now go on, we have to wake up early if we want to make it before it gets packed," I said as I patted his bottom.

He sat up with a somber look on his face, "What's wrong, Noah?" I mentioned as I wrapped my fingers around his chin.

"Can I sleep with you?"

I sighed and smiled. He never really asked to sleep with us unless he was really feeling emotionally distraught, "Yes, you can."

Automatically, he settled on his mom's pillow, turning his face and inhaling quickly before turning on his side to watch me, and brought forth the comforter to drape over his body. I had already put down the boys and Cassidy was so tired that she had fallen asleep on the couch earlier and I had carried her to her bed. Noah usually was quite the night owl and wouldn't fall asleep immediately until one or both of us made it to his room to bid him good night. I felt his little blue gaze transfixed on me whilst I read but after a while I heard his steady breathing and knew he had fallen asleep. I texted Alex and Casey and let them know of our early breakfast/brunch situation and that a 'no' couldn't be accepted. They both agreed to meet here and that way we could all take one car to Gramercy and avoid the hassle.

* * *

"Everybody bundled and ready?" I said as I eyed my children carefully. Cassidy was wearing a beautiful light grey cowl neck sweater with black leggings and her black leather jacket paired with burgundy Dr. Marten's boots, Noah wore an all black ensemble with his olive heavy jacket paired with his Timberland boots and a grey beanie to protect his ears from the nip of the morning, the twins wore a white long sleeved heavy jumper with jeans and their Dr. Marten's black boots; Hunter wore a mustard bubble vest and Hudson wore an olive one. Us adults were equally ready and bundled and we left the apartment shortly after my quick assessment of the kids' outfits.

It was a thirty-minute car ride down to Gramercy and Casey and I sat in front, whilst Alex sat in the back with Noah and Cassidy, "What sprung out this idea?" Casey prodded, "You've been a shut-in since Victoria left three weeks ago."

I sighed and smiled as we came to a stop at a red light, "Actually, Noah came into our room last night and asked if we could go to Mama's favorite brunch place with the company of aunt Lex and Casey."

She turned her face towards me, "Really? He asked for me?"

I chuckled, "Yes, he did. They'll warm up to you, Case. It's just," I sighed and rubbed my forehead as I slowly eased on the gas pedal, "we just went through a horrible experience with Alex's ex-girlfriend and they're just apprehensive for now but they'll let up soon."

"Alex told me about that," she offered, "I mean, I still don't know a lot of details but she told me that she almost lost you all because of this girl."

I hummed and nodded, "That's an understatement."

I chanced a glance to Casey and she gave me a thin lipped smile, "Was it really that bad?" she asked, raising her brows, "From what I've heard, Victoria is quite… protective of you both."

I smiled at the mention of my wife's name, "She is, Casey, but only with reason," I looked at Casey quickly, she was listening intently and it dawned on me that we hadn't spoke in eight years and she didn't know who or what Victoria was and did for a living, "Do you know who my wife is?"

Casey knitted her brows, "Your wife?" she offered, "And, Alex's best friend."

I nodded, "Do you remember the Reyes heiress that went missing all that time ago?" Casey turned on the seat and nodded, " _She's_ the missing Reyes."

Casey's hands flew to her mouth and her eyes widened in shock, "Liv, oh my God! How? What happened? I mean, I read that she was back but you know I don't care for the social section of the paper."

"She had been in Witness Protection for sixteen years because of her sister. I met her under her alias when she got assigned to the precinct as the new FBI forensic psychologist. We had a rocky start but that's how we "stumbled" upon Cassidy; it was her first case with us. She ended up adopting her and our first Thanksgiving together, I invited her to Alex's not knowing that they knew each other and that's when they rekindled. They were best friends since they could remember," I looked at Casey, who still sported the shock on her face, "Then she got kidnapped for two months and I was… devastated, it was horrible. Then we found her and I proposed and a year later we got married. Three years ago we had the twins and now, here we are."

"Jesus, Olivia! I just thought she was a prominent doctor and that was it but no, she's an heiress and she's _amazing_ ," Casey emphasized as she spoke, "This ex must've been a real piece of work then."

"Yea," I said in a breathy sigh, "The first night we met her, it took all but three minutes for Victoria to dislike her. She's a great judge of character," I quipped, glancing at Casey.

She giggled, "I can imagine," she trailed off, "W—what does she think about me?"

I smiled and bit my lip; "She thinks you're great for Alex. I think she's biased, though, she has a soft-spot for redheads," I shrugged my shoulders, causing her to shove me gently.

"Miss Cayey," the gravelly voice of Hunter came through.

Casey opened her eyes and looked at me confused, "It's ok, Case. They know not to interrupt the driver."

"I—I don't know who that is, Liv; I'm sorry."

"Hunter has brown eyes, Hudson has grey ones. Hunter has the gravelly voice, Hudson the sweet one. That's how you know," I smiled.

She nodded and glanced behind her, "Y—yes Hunter?"

I looked through my rearview to watch the interaction, "Could you play music?"

"Uh, uh, sure," she answered, reaching for the power wheel on the dash, "What would you like to listen?" as she finished, heavy metal blared through, "Oh, definitely not that, Jesus."

Hunter giggled, "No, that's loud."

"That _is_ loud," she chuckled as she continued the search for music.

"Miss Casey," Cassidy piped.

Casey looked up again, "Y—yes sweetheart?"

Cassidy smiled, "If you go to Pandora, our moms have a station called Radio for Kids and I promise you it won't drive you insane with silly nursery songs."

Casey did as Cassidy suggested, thrumming her fingers on the touchscreen. Automatically the rendition from the movie 'Trolls' of 'Can't stop the feeling' begun playing and Casey rolled the volume wheel so that the music blared quietly through the cabin, "How's that, Hunter?"

"Good, thank you," he responded with a smile.

"Such polite three-year-old, Liv," she conceded with a smile.

* * *

We were all settled at the table and were falling into a nice groove. I was sat between Cassidy and Hudson, to Cassidy's right was Noah, then Alex, then Hunter, and then Casey. We all ordered our drinks and plates and as we waited for our food we all chatted enthusiastically. I was a bit far from the conversation, as my thoughts were with Victoria and what could probably be cooking in her body. I smiled absentmindedly and shook my head, bringing my right hand to Cassidy's head and pushing flyaways back into her head. She looked up at me and smiled and I leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead. She giggled and the sound filled my heart, just the thought of another little person looking up at me the same way Cassidy was looking at me, and my eyes began watering. Cassidy's expression immediately changed, "Mommy," she said, glancing at Alex quickly.

"I'm ok, sweet pea, I'm ok," I reassured her stroking her cheek.

Casey reached over and grabbed my hand, "Liv, are you ok?"

I nodded and wiped away the stray tears from my face and gave everyone a look. Their faces were contorted and they didn't seem to believe me at all, "I really am ok, I'm just… happy."

Casey and Alex's face relaxed and they smiled at me, leaving me to my own volition as the chatter slowly fell back upon the table.

It was not long after when we all finished and Casey was quick to snatch the check from the center of the table. Alex and I fought relentlessly for her to hand over the check but she ignored our pleas and covered the bill. I urged the kids to thank her for our wonderful breakfast. The cold January morning was just that, cold. Thankfully, the constant snowing had stopped and now the snow had been sticking to the ground. Casey had asked me quietly if we could go to Evelyn's Playground in Union Square and I acquiesced, knowing well that Casey loved going there, regardless of the weather. She told the kids that we were going to the park and they all, now wanted to hold Miss Casey's hand and walk beside her. She had decided to hold the twins' hands and then Cassidy and Noah held the twins' other hand and that's how they walked, occupying the entire sidewalk.

Alex and I fell behind and were walking arm in arm and all I could do was smile. I couldn't stop fathoming and willing the thought of another mini-us running around the house, clinging to either Tori or I and again, I felt the smile creep up on my face. I was totally smitten with the idea of Victoria possibly being pregnant and I couldn't wait to find out if she was or wasn't. A sudden sadness fell upon me and I realized that the deadline that was to be followed was soon approaching and I wouldn't know anything about it because she wasn't here. It nearly killed me when the thought and realization settled that I wasn't going to be with her for the blood work results and subsequent ultrasound that would let us hear the steady heartbeat of our unborn child.

"A penny for your thoughts," Alex asked gently as we sat at a nearby park bench, watching the kids with Casey, "You've been awfully quiet both during brunch and our walk."

She noticed, of course she did; nothing went past the blonde attorney, "I miss her," I said turning my face and locking stares with the fairer woman, "I miss her so much."

Alex gave me a sympathetic smile, "I know, I miss her too, Liv. We have two more months and she'll be back."

I looked down at our intertwined arms and felt the tears stinging at my eyes, "I never thought it would be this hard being without her again…"

"Again?" Alex spoke quickly and even though I wasn't seeing her face, I could hear her brain working, flipping through memories, and that's when she realized it. It was January, it was Victoria's kidnapping anniversary and in past years, we clung to each other extra hard during this time more than ever, "Oh, Liv," she said, snaking her arm away and wrapping it around my shoulders. She adjusted her position to fit me better against her chest, "Liv, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about it. I—I…" she breathed out, rubbing my arm through my bubble jacket as she rocked slowly.

I sniffled and felt my tears fall quietly, "I'm sorry," I mentioned softly.

"Why are you apologizing?" Alex admonished carefully, "You have nothing to be sorry for. God," she scoffed, "how could I'd been so oblivious to this? Jesus, Olivia."

"You had no way of knowing, Al. It's not something I particularly go around shouting from the rooftops," I tittered softly.

"But as your friend I should've known. I—I should've been there for you."

"You're here now," I conceded, burrowing my face further into her chest and tightening my arms around her.

We fell into companionable silence briefly and I reflected on my emotions. Was I really this distraught because of the time being or because I knew Victoria was over two hundred miles away and I didn't know how she was doing? Was I being selfish for wanting her here near me so that I could eye every move? Was I being silly for crying when I knew in my heart of hearts she was safe? Was she eating? Was she displaying pregnancy signs? Was she ok? That's all I wanted to know, truly, was she ok? If I could hear her voice, if I could have that positive reassurance from her, I'm sure I could carry on. I wasn't weak by any means and I wasn't the clingy type but given the timeline and the current situation, I just needed the reassurance. But, she had made it clear, no phones or calls could be made in her time there. Those were the rules and we all had to adjust and cope accordingly. The erratic vibration of my phone startled me suddenly. I pushed against Alex and reached into my coat pocket, unknown. I answered regardless, "Benson."

" _I love you. I'm almost home, baby. I'm ok. I love you_ ," and the call ended abruptly.

I smiled at my phone and turned to look at Alex, "She's ok, Al. She's ok."


	18. Without Mama, 2

_**Without Mama, 2**_

(Olivia's POV)

Three more weeks. Three more weeks and she'd be back. Three more weeks and I wouldn't feel like I was constantly missing something, I wouldn't feel restless or on edge because I was missing her. The kids had been sleeping in my bed, taking turns in order to be able to fit and be able to sleep comfortably. February had slowly crept upon us and so had the murderous blizzard that had fallen upon us. And, with the blizzard came out the worst perps. School had been called off at the beginning of the week and now I had the juvenile room packed with my children. The intercom was on so I could hear small chatter and laughter coming through my office.

"Hey, Lieutenant," Amanda said, knocking on the door.

"Yea," I answered, removing my glasses and placing them atop my desk.

"Thanks for watching Jesse for me," Amanda began, "And, Stone is asking if you got the updated warrant? I believe he sent it through email."

"Uh," I began, moving around and opening my laptop. I waited for it to wake and typed the password. I saw the alert for email and opened it, noticing the attached warrant. I hit print and looked up at Amanda, "Should be on the printer now Rollins and don't worry about it, you know the kids love her."

Amanda smiled and looked at the one-way glass, noticing her child playing with mine, "What are we going to do about this blizzard, Liv? We can't even go outside to deliver this warrant," Amanda said, patting her thigh.

I sighed and leaned back on my chair, "I don't know Amanda, but we can worry about that later, want to go in there and check on them?"

Amanda smiled and began approaching the door that would let her through the juvenile room. I stood and met her half way as I opened the door and we both cross the threshold, "Mommy," yelled Hudson as he saw me enter the room.

The kids whipped their heads around and stood to meet us, "Hey baby, what are you up to?"

"We play with puzzle," Hudson said as he hugged my leg.

"Cassie finished one real fast, Mama," Jesse mentioned.

"She did?" Amanda said, mimicking the girl's excitement.

"You guys hungry? I don't think we have a lot of food but we can go to the vending machine and get something," I said, rubbing on Hudson's locks.

The kids nodded and I approached the hallway door and opened it, "Fin, Carisi," I shouted.

The men approached, "What's up, Liv?" Fin answered.

"Could you get us snacks from the vending machine and some drinks too?"

"Sure thing, boss," Carisi responded.

It didn't take them long at all before they returned with cans of soda, water bottles, and snacks of all kinds for the kids and us. We all sat and chatted, laughing at the witticism the kids seemed to possess. It was… mind boggling to say the least to listen some of the things these kids had to say. I paid extra attention to my children, as I regularly did and noticed a little of Victoria in every one of my children. Hunter had her caramel complexion, Hudson her eyes, Noah her quiet demeanor, and Cassidy her silver tongue. I chuckled and fidgeted with the clip of my soda can. It sure was a treat to see her in our kids both physically and, in a way, chemically as well.

* * *

The night had since fallen upon us and since we were basically snowed in, we couldn't do much. Thankfully, the kids were all here with overnight bags and had been taking turns in the showers. We were all going to share the cribs and I was going to camp out with the twins in my office in my sofa bed. No one knew but they were about to find out. Noah and Cassidy were to be upstairs with Amanda, Sonny, Jesse, and Fin and we prayed that tomorrow, this winter wonderland would be all gone so that everything could be back to normal. Thankfully the precinct had kept amazingly warm and it would hopefully stay like that the entire night.

The time had come to put every one to bed and as I sat on my office chair, watching the twins sleep, a faint knock could be heard. I almost missed it but then it rapped again. I furrowed my brow and stood, approaching the door. Opening it was a surprise; it was Cassidy, "Hey there, sweet pea. What's going on?"

Her body crashed to mine, her arms looping around my waist, "Mommy, could we talk?"

I brought my hands down to cup her neck against my body, providing the comfort that she needed, "Sure, sweetheart, come on."

She released my body and grabbed my hand. I led her through my office and I sat on my chair but not before helping her to sit atop my desk. For an eleven-year-old, Cassidy was on the smaller spectrum, she had grown a bit but still was only four feet, five inches tall. Noah was catching up to her and she was the oldest out of our kids. I rolled my chair closer to my desk and had her long gams rest atop my thighs, "What's going on, Cass? Are you ok?"

She looked down at her hands and lowered herself to my lap, her head resting on my shoulder. I brought my hands to her back, rubbing it gently, "Cassidy, baby, what's going on?"

"Are you ok, Mommy?" she asked, her lashes tickling the skin of my neck.

I chuckled and relaxed, "Why do you ask, sweets?"

"You miss Mama a lot, right?" she asked.

I sighed and played with the exposed skin above her waistband, "I do miss her a lot, Cass. She makes me happy, just like you guys make me happy."

She sat back on my knees, "Is she coming back?"

I rubbed her cheek with my thumb, "Of course she is, Cass. Why would think she wouldn't come back?"

She hesitated and averted her eyes from me, "This is the time Mama was gone because of Vienna, remember?" she finished, her stare sporting a glossy look due the threat of fresh tears.

She remembered the kidnapping. She remembered the horrible things her mom had been subjected to those two months away from us. She remembered the perpetrator. Of course she did, she had been part of it for two days, "Cass, baby," I said in breathy sigh, "She's coming back to us. We have three more weeks before she returns, baby. She'll be back with us. I promise you that."

She nodded, "Thank you, Mommy."

I smiled and kissed her cheek, "You're welcome, sweet pea. Come on, let's sleep and hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to sleep home instead of here at the precinct."

She tittered, "I like spending time here at work with you, Mommy."

"You do?" I asked, in awe of my daughter's confession, "Why?"

"Well," she begun, "this was the first time anyone was nice to me," she smiled and batted her lashes.

"Oh, Cass," my eyes watered and I swallowed hard to hold them back. I remembered that eventful afternoon, "it was the first time we met, too. Do you remember?"

She nodded enthusiastically, "Mama and I painted with our feet," she giggled.

"You did! And, we ate pizza too."

She nodded and yawned, "Can I sleep with you, Mommy?"

I looked at the pullout bed where the twins were cuddled together. It was to be a tight fit but who was I to deny that sweet face? "Sure, come on baby."

I propped her down and walked over to the bed, slipping inside and leaving space for Cassidy. She got in and immediately was flushed against my side. I wrapped my arms around her and within minutes we had been engulfed in Morpheus arms.

* * *

"Noah, can you get the door for me, buddy?" I asked him as I cradled the grocery bags in my arms. The snowfall had finally stopped, after two days stuck in the precinct we were glad to be home. The kids had begun to get impatient and were getting angsty with being cooped up all-day and night at the precinct. There was so much we could do to keep them entertained inside of four walls. Carisi had even locked them up in the cage for a while whilst they played 'cops and robbers'. Jesse and Hunter had been the damned and were the ones that had gotten stuck in the cage for roughly twenty minutes.

As Noah opened the door, the fresh smell of coffee engulfed my nose and for a second I thought I was dreaming, "Noah, Cassidy, get behind me. Now," who could be in my home? It certainly wasn't Victoria, right? No. No. She couldn't have been able to get in by plane or car due to the ridiculous amount of inches it had snowed in the past two days. I placed the bags on the ground and placed my hand on my gun, unclasping the clip just in case something went down, "Stay here," I whispered to the kids. Cassidy's eyes were wide in confusion and terror but I needed to figure out who the hell was in my home. I drew my gun slowly, thankful for the wall that separated the foyer with the kitchen. I pressed my back to the wall and took a deep breath, unlocking the safety of my gun in case I had to fire. I pushed my body away from the wall and rounded the corner, "NYP—"

The mug that was in Alex's went crashing to the ground. I released a gust of wind and lowered the gun, de-cocking pointing it at the ground, and pushing the safety back in place. My adrenaline was rushing through my body, making my hands shake in the process, "L—Liv," Casey breathed out.

I brought my gun to the holster and clipping it in place and attempting to reel in my breathing, "Babes," I spoke loudly so that the kids could hear.

The kids came into view holding hands and slightly green, "Mommy," Hunter husked as he approached me.

I picked him up and sat him on my hip, "It's ok buddy. Aunt Lex and Casey scared us, right?"

"We came here two days ago to see if you needed help with the kids and we showed up and you weren't here. Phones haven't really been working and then we got stuck here. I—I'm sorry," Alex explained as she stood and threw the contents of the broken mug in the trashcan.

I huffed, "It's fine, it's fine. I wouldn't want you all to be out there and not safe but you do realize I could've fired my weapon?" I attempted a quip to ease the tensions that were running wild.

Casey and Alex chuckled, "No, you wouldn't have. You would've talked my ear out first," Alex said, rolling her eyes.

I opened my mouth in feign shock, "I—I'm sorry to say, Olivia but Alex is right," Casey added with a snicker.

I placed Hunter on the ground and ushered him to go say hi to his aunts. I watched as the kids went and hugged the bodies of the women standing in my kitchen. They comforted the kids and apologized and I saw how the kids dispersed to their rooms to play. I returned to the foyer to retrieve the grocery bags and began putting them away. Alex immediately joined in with putting them away, "Are you excited for her return?"

I smiled as I opened a cabinet to put away some jars, I looked up at Alex, "Yes, I am. Once she's back, our anniversary is two weeks after that."

"Are you taking time off?"

I nodded and continued to move around the cabinets and pantry putting stuff away, "I'm taking a few days off to be with her and reconnect and then I'm taking off for ten days."

I saw Alex smirk, "You guys have been really good lately, what's going on?"

I scoffed and chuckled, "What do you mean, Al?"

She opened and closed her mouth, attempting to formulate a thought, "I mean, the past couple of years this time of the year seems… somber but now," she trailed off momentarily, "and even leading up to this time it seems somber but not this time around."

"Well," I knew what she meant. This time around we had the secret of the possibility of something cooking inside of her but again, we didn't anyone to know and she _really_ didn't want anyone to know until _after_ the end of her trimester, "I don't know, I guess it's usually that small argument we've had every year since the kidnapping but this year… I don't know," I lied… somewhat.

"What argument?" Alex asked, leaning her hip against the counter.

I sighed and felt Casey behind me, her arms surrounding, "Hey Case, thanks for putting the twins down," I mentioned as I turned around in her arms, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"I love those kids," she mused, "how are they so polite?"

I chuckled, "You can thank my wife for that."

Casey smiled and leaned forward for our lips to touch briefly, "I think Mommy has something to do with it, too," she whispered near my face causing me to giggle, "What were you talking about?"

"About a yearly argument that Liv and Tori seem to have that puts them in a somber mood," Alex piped quickly.

"Well, what's the argument?" Casey asked, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Every year after New Year's Victoria and I have a small argument that I end up winning, partially about whether or not she should go and visit Vienna at Stockbridge," I sighed once more and ran my fingers through my hair, "I _hate_ every time she brings it up and I get it, I do, that's her sister; her _twin_ sister."

"Liv," Alex breathed out, shaking her head.

"I get it, Alex, I do but every time she brings it up and I even think about conceding for her to go I get tossed back to when Carisi brought her out and placed her on that gurney all bloody and bruised. I can't risk that again, I won't," I finished, feeling my voice waver.

"What does she think about it all?" Casey asked softly.

"She wants to go but even she admits that it will be a toll for her both mentally and physically. She's my priority, guys. This is not about me not being able to pull her out if she does fall in a funk, I can. It's about… is she not going to blame herself for seeing her sister there? Is she going to get stuck in her head?" I stopped for a second and thought about the three months it took her, took us both in order for her to fall into the groove that she had been prior. I was the one with her those three months of _daily_ therapy because once or twice a week was not enough for her, "Guys, it took her three months of daily therapy. I don't want to see her like that again."

Casey and Alex sighed and looked at each other, "And, this year this conversation didn't happen?" Casey offered.

 _No, because our focus was on creating a new life not Vienna_ , "No," I finished.

"What was different, Liv? I mean, I know Tori and when she gets an idea in her head…" Alex offered, throwing away the paper bag.

I tittered knowing that Alex's statement was a correct one, "I know, I know but she's too smart for her own good some times. She knows I won't put her in danger purposefully and though the facility Vienna's in is top notch, I still don't trust it."

We all fell in silence as the heaviness of the conversation seeped and settled. It was a heavy topic to discuss with my friends when she obviously hadn't done so. We, both, spoke and discussed a lot with Alex. Especially Victoria, that was her best friend and it felt amazing to have Casey back, someone that I could go to a bar and share a couple of beers with and have a great laugh without necessarily pouring my heart out and she knew just what to say in order to get through to me. But, I have to admit, talking about the whole visiting Vienna fiasco in some way gave me a new perspective of sorts towards the topic and the possible feelings my wife could be experiencing and/or having.

I understood the severity and the validity of the points she made constantly when discussing the topic and she understood mine. In the end, I always let her know that it was her decision to make, regardless of it I were to be happy or not, it was her decision to make on her own. I would never let her go by her self, that was out of the question but I wouldn't fault her either for wanting to do it on her own. Vienna was always a touchy subject for her, mostly on their birthday and on the anniversary of her kidnapping. She never could really understand how her own twin, the person she had shared a womb with, the person that could know her the best would do something so Machiavellian towards her. It was a rhetoric we seemed to fall on often during those times and I couldn't do anything to alleviate her pain except for being there for her when she needed me. We'd been back and forth every year since and though I hated the look in her eyes when she would bring up the topic, I needed her to be able to express herself without feeling like I was going to shut her down every time she brought the topic up. I couldn't do that to her. She didn't deserve that.

But that wasn't the secret that was being kept and in three weeks, she'd be back and hopefully carrying more than just herself.

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Review, review, review! :) And, please, don't forget to share your thoughts on what you'd like to see in future chapters. I'm still writing AND though I have a few future chapters written, I still need more. I promise to advise beforehand when I'm ready to bring it to an end.


	19. Mama's Back!

_**Mama's Back!**_

(Olivia's POV)

It had been the slowest, most agonizing three weeks of my life. The cases hadn't let up and the weather was kicking our asses on top of it all. I hadn't seen the kids in a couple of days but Emilio and Vivian had stepped in and helped out with the kids and they had been keeping them for the past couple of days. At the precinct we had finally wrapped up the two cases we had been working on, finally and now it was up to Stone to figure out what to do with them. One was a rape/murder of thirteen-year-old gay boy and the other a molestation case of three siblings. The weeks had been brutal and exhausting and I couldn't wait until she was home with me. I had already put in the request to be off for the next three days and I was to spend them with my family.

"Ready to go home, Lieutenant?" Carisi said.

"I've been ready ever since these cases fell on our laps," I tittered, rubbing my brow.

"You're taking some days to yourself, Liv, right?" Fin asked, a wry smile on his face.

I nodded, "Yea," I said in a breathy sigh.

"How long has it been?" he mentioned.

"Three months, three excruciatingly long months," I chuckled.

Fin and Carisi gave me a sideways glance and I couldn't help but smile, "You two disgust me some times," I mentioned as I walked to lean on Amanda's desk.

"And, you only get to see them once in a while, I'm with them every day for more than twelve hours a day, Liv," Amanda quipped.

"You love us, Rollins. Admit it," Fin replied.

"I will do nothing of sorts, Fin," Amanda said with an eye roll.

"Alright, enough," I said softly, "let's finish these two hours in peace and harmony, please."

And just when Amanda was about to reply my phone vibrated in my pocket. I reached around and grabbed the electronic in my hand and I wasn't prepared for the name on my screen, "Vivian, everything ok?"

" _Yes, Olivia, is there any way you can come home right now? Cassidy is… please?_ " she mentioned on the other side of the line and I felt all the blood leave my body.

"What is wrong with Cassidy, Vivian?" I mentioned frantically as I power walked to my office.

" _S—She's shaking and Noah is trying to calm her down. They boys are really scared and I don't want Emilio near her,_ " she replied, a sudden shake to her voice.

"Ok, ok," I paused, taking a deep breath in. I glanced down at my wristwatch and noticed the time, _Alex should be home now_ , "Call Alex and tell her to meet me there, I'm leaving now but she'll make it before I do."

" _Alright, thank you Olivia. Please get here safe._ "

"I will," I hung up and walked out to the bullpen.

"Liv, everything ok?" Amanda asked.

I breathed out and scoffed, "I don't know. My mother-in-law just called asking me to go to the house because of Cassidy."

"I—Is she ok? What's going on? Do you need us to go?" Carisi rapid fire his questions.

"Carisi, Carisi," I opened my mouth, "yes, please," I conceded.

I saw as the team rapidly stood and grabbed their belongings and followed me out. I truly loved my squad. They would give everything for each other and so would I, honestly. Carisi and Cassidy had a special bond, that's why he had been asked to be her godfather and though Cassidy was apprehensive towards the general male population, she seemed to be at her most comfortable with Fin and Sonny and that was something we were truly appreciative of.

We bobbed and weaved safely through the busy streets of Manhattan until we reached the very quaint and lavish brownstone that sat on the heart of Madison Avenue. The team pulled over and exited their cars, "Damn, Liv," said Fin, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Guys, please," I begged as I approached the steps, "reserve the comments."

All of them glanced at each other and nodded. We climbed the steps and I fidgeted with my keys, finding the correct one and pushing it on the knob and turning it slowly, "Viv," I shouted as I crossed the threshold. Everything was silent, where was everybody? "Noah?" I continued shouting names but no response and from upstairs came Casey, flushed and flustered.

"We're up here, come on," Casey said with a smile.

I chanced a glance to Amanda who gave me the same confused look I was giving her and we climbed the stairs quickly. I could feel my heart beat in my ears and I just wanted to see what was going on with Cassidy. Casey led us through the hallway and we arrived at the upstairs dining room, "Hi, Mommy," Cassidy said with a smile on her face.

"Cassidy," I breathed out, approaching her quickly and scooping her up in my arms, "what's going on? Grandma Viv called saying that you weren't doing ok?"

Cassidy threw her head back in a fit of laughter, "That was only to get you here without asking questions, Mommy."

I breathed out and smiled, glad that there was nothing wrong with Cassidy but at the same time slightly confused at what could had been so important that they couldn't wait two hours to have me home, "That wasn't very nice," I said breathily, "You had us all worried," I added and placed her on the ground.

"Yea, Cass," Sonny added as he kneeled before Cassidy, "don't scare me like that fire engine."

I saw as she hugged his neck and watched as Noah and the boys had already begun saying their hellos to Fin and Amanda but no one had told me what the hell was going on and all of a sudden the air in the room became thick and heavy. I felt like I was submerged underneath a sea of water but somehow I could still breathe. Only one person could make me feel that way, only one person could suck the air out of me but managed to still keep me breathing and alive. And, then I smelled it. I smelled her. The sweet smell of honey and vanilla and I turned, locking my brown gaze with her icy grey one, "Tori," I breathed out as I felt my eyes sting with tears.

She smirked and let go of Alex's hand. She was wearing the cowl neck sweater that she wore that first day we met at the precinct and her legs were covered by black leggings and she wore fuzzy socks to protect her feet from the cold linoleum, "Hey, baby," she husked silently.

We met halfway and everything around us disappeared. The kids. Our friends. Our colleagues. Our parents. Nothing was there except for us. She snaked her arms around my waist and my body reacted accordingly. I collapsed into her body and we tightened our hold on each other. We whispered our love to each other and kissed incessantly. I missed her body against mine. I missed the feel of her lips on mine. I couldn't believe she was finally here, God! If anything else was happening, again, we couldn't hear it; we didn't pay attention to it. I kissed her lips once more and bit her lip before pulling back and resting our foreheads together. I could see that faint glimmer in her eyes and I knew we were feeling the same thing. We wanted each other. Badly, but we couldn't do anything about it right now, "When did you get in?"

"A little bit before noon. I called Alex and had her pick me up and we pulled Noah and Cassidy from school but when I got home, there was no Lucy so we had to call Casey to ask you," she trailed off and I chuckled at the smarts and antics of my wife, "and we've been here ever since."

"Grandma Viv got impatient and she was the one that came up with the idea of calling you," Noah said from the Amanda's lap.

Victoria smiled and patted my hip, "Let's go to the parlor, I have a few gifts for you and the kids."

I smiled and nodded, letting her go momentarily, even though all I wanted to do right now was to have her wrapped in my arms and never let her go. We all walked to the parlor and sat on the furniture, watching her bend and retrieve some stuff from her suitcase. As she returned she sat next to me and leaned back, folding her legs underneath her. She removed her sweater and brought her hair down and placed a pillow between her legs, "You cut your hair?" I almost shouted at the sight.

"Jesus, Olivia, you almost scared me to death," Alex shouted from the corner, her hand on her chest.

"Yes, Olivia, I did. It's not like I'm bald," she answered.

Victoria had a good twenty-two inches of beautiful, raven hair and now it rested in between her shoulder blades at probably sixteen inches, "Might as well be, Victoria. What go into you in Virginia?"

She tittered, "Stop, I've cut my hair before, Liv."

"But not this much!"

"Mommy," Hunter interrupted, "Mama beautiful."

I smiled at my son and shook my head, "She is beautiful, bean. You're right, Hunter."

She smiled and breathed out, adjusting the strap of her black camisole and hugging the pillow, _Is she cold?_ "Cassidy, come here, baby," Cassidy approached us and Victoria handed her a black capped sleeve t-shirt.

Cassidy opened her shirt and in teal letters it said 'sweet pea' and Cassidy's freckled face lit up beautifully, "It's beautiful, Mama!" she said as she crashed into her mom's body.

Victoria winced slightly but recovered quickly, "I'm glad you like it sweets," she mentioned as she rubbed her back. She reached inside the pillow and pulled out a white t-shirt, "Noah," she handed him the shirt.

Opposite of Cassidy's, Noah's shirt was white with 'sweet boy' written in teal letters. She repeated the same with the boys, handing them a white one and black one that read 'bug' for Hudson and 'bean' for Hunter. The kids were so excited for their shirts and though, realistically speaking, I knew they weren't going to wear it outside of our home but still, it was a nice gesture and every body loved how cute the shirts were, "Oh, wait, I forgot someone," she interrupted the light chatter that had fallen on every single one of us.

"Who?" Casey asked.

She reached inside the pillow and brought a decent sized box and she handed it to me, "For you, baby," she said with a rogue smile on her face.

I placed my glass of wine on the coffee table in front of us and sat sideways to face her. I opened the box and saw a black t-shirt with the word 'nugget' and I chuckled and turned the box for everyone to see, "Take it out," she says softly, smiling.

I glanced at her sideways with slight confusion and she nodded her head and brought her legs down, "Take it out, Olivia."

I did as I was told and noticed it was the smallest t-shirt ever and as I glanced around the room I noticed the teary eyes, shock, and confusion and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, "No," I said, full of shock, "Tori," I heard myself say and felt my lip tremble.

She smiled and removed the pillow away from her body, revealing the most beautiful swell of her stomach.

The world fell silent and suddenly she was on top of me. My mouth hungrily possessed hers and I could feel her bump against my abdomen now and nothing else mattered at the moment. The need for air became grand and we broke apart. She sat on my knees and my hands flew to her swell, rubbing them through, a silly smile on my face, "How far along are you, Tori?"

"Well," she begun, wiping at her tears, "today is the end of my first trimester so roughly, I'm about twelve to thirteen weeks."

I released a breath of air and looked behind us. The kids were all smiling and so were Alex and Casey, "You all knew, didn't you?"

Casey nodded, "Why do you think I was so flustered when I came downstairs? She had blurted it out and then you came in and I just couldn't hold it together."

I chuckled and looked at my squad, whom were all standing and approaching us. I patted Victoria's thigh and she stood with the help of Fin who wrapped her in an embrace. Amanda and I hugged as she whispered her congratulations in my ear. Carisi couldn't be happier with another addition to the Reyes-Benson clan and Fin, let's just say now he finally knew why I had been so content at the beginning of the year. Victoria now stood with both Cassidy and Noah rubbing and kissing her small but noticeable bump and the twins were nodding off in both Casey and Alex's laps. I bid farewell to the team and thanked them for accompanying me to what we thought was an emergency and reminded them in the process that I was to be off for the next three days and to please not bother me unless absolutely, positively necessary.

We stayed at the brownstone for a couple of more minutes before we decided to leave. Emilio had insisted into having the car set up to take us but Alex and Casey had volunteered and we all very much preferred the latter rather than the former. We divided ourselves into the two women's cars and were on our way to the other side of the park. It took us less than ten minutes to arrive. Victoria had been adamant on bath time since it was a school night. We thanked the girls for helping us with the kids and Victoria's bags and they too were out the door quickly but not before kissing and rubbing up on my wife. I watched her as she cut up some fruit for the big kid's lunchboxes and couldn't help but smile. She was back, she was finally back, "You know, I can feel you staring."

I scoffed and shook my head as I rounded the way to other side of the breakfast bar, "You're pregnant," I husked softly, placing my palms on my abdomen.

" _We're_ pregnant, Olivia," she corrected.

"Why are you so big?" it came out of my mouth before I could register it and my eyes flew up, catching her impish smile and playful eyes, "I—I didn't mean it that way, I promise."

"I know what you meant, Liv," she chuckled, "It's my second pregnancy and since there's much more elasticity to go around from the first pregnancy, it seems bigger. I'm actually 'underweight' according to the Academy's obstetrician. They were hard on us, especially me since I couldn't do the full workout, I had to run and do a lot of simple weights."

"Baby," I looked down at her belly and rubbed my palms on it, "I don't want you straining yourself."

"I'm done with the first trimester, I'm fine."

I sighed, not really wanting our conversation to shift into the negative, "Morning sickness?" I said, smiling.

"None," she said, widening her eyes, "that's why I thought I wasn't even pregnant but then food aversions and cravings started."

"What is it this time around?" I asked.

"I can't handle oatmeal or bananas. The texture makes me nauseous," she paused and placed her hands atop mine, stopping the rhythm I had set, "Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit."

"Ok, easy there," I coaxed, retrieving my hands and putting everything away quickly before moving us to our room to lay, "Maybe lying down will do you good."

She lain on her side of the bed as I snuggled close to her, "Oreos and peanut butter," she said, sighing.

"Is that your craving?" I asked with a hearty chuckle.

"For the most part, yes. But, right now," she mentioned as she climbed my lap effortlessly, grounding her pelvis with mine, "I really want you," she husked as she pushed her body forward and crashed her lips with mine.

It felt amazing to have her like this again. Three months had been too long of a time to be without her. I brought my hands to her hips and stabilized her there as she pushed her hands underneath my blouse and trailed them upwards to the lace and mesh covered mounds where she palmed and squeezed mercilessly. I moaned against her mouth, throwing my head back against the pillow and exposing my neck. I heard her husk her giggle before her teeth and tongue were fervently attacking the vibrating flesh of my neck and as I'm getting ready to release a primal moan we heard the faintest of knocks on our bedroom door. Victoria sat up and locked eyes with me, "They want to sleep with us, I can tell," she offered.

I nodded and breathed out harshly, "Rain check?" I smiled coyly.

"I don't have a choice here," she shook her head as she dismounted my lap, "Get in here, monsters," she raised her voice so that it could carry throughout the room.

In came bursting the twins first and behind them were the big kids, "Ok, so guys, Mama has to be careful because she's carrying your new brother or sister in there so, I'll sleep on one side of her and you all decide who gets the other side, understood?" I bargained with my children as they quickly shuffled and took their places on our bed. Noah snuggled on Victoria's opposite side and Hunter and Cassidy slid in afterwards and on my side, Hudson lain near my bosom. I kissed her lips quickly and brought my hands to her midsection, "I love you," she whispered loudly, a small smile falling on her lips.

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Reviews are amazing, so are you! Let me know what you'd like to read for the Benson6 soon to be 7. :)


	20. Reconnecting

_**Reconnecting**_

Our bed had been crowded the entire night by four little bodies that craved the warmth and loving they had been missing for three months. Even though what I wanted was for Olivia to take me for hours on end, this was what it meant to be a parent; to put their feelings, desires, and wants before yours. Olivia and the kids had slept like babies whilst I had tossed and turned all through the night because the carnal desire that coursed through my being was too much for it to be assuaged by slumber. These hormonal changes were coming quick and hard and Lord… I prayed for Olivia's sake because I knew I was going to be insatiable this time around. As I woke for the umpteenth I glanced to my right where the digital clock numbers provided a slight cast and they read five forty. My body had been conditioned to be awake by six so that I could start conditioning and be available by seven for breakfast and then soon after, classes would start. The FBI Academy did not play when it came to conditioning, feeding times, and class time. It would take some getting used to but for now, I was up and I needed to move.

I hopped out of bed carefully without disturbing any of the forms that had piled on top of me throughout the night and grabbed both my cellphone and Olivia's and took them to the bathroom with me. I sent Olivia a message saying that I was fine and to not panic but I knew if I left it in the room, she would wake up. I began getting dressed in running gear and once I was finished I slipped my now short hair into a high ponytail and slipped on my Roxy Jaya ear warmer headband and stuffed my phone into one of my front pockets. I walked Olivia's phone back to her nightstand and exited the room. I quickly stretched and exited the apartment. I knew Olivia would be highly upset at me for going out and "straining" myself during the early stages of the pregnancy and though I loved that she devoted and cared so much for both myself and the bump, some of her worries were misplaced. Though, being the softy that I usually was when it came to her, if she were to tell me to not run anymore for the remainder of the pregnancy, I would stop but had to come into a negotiating period of what to do in order to stay in shape.

As I made it downstairs and looked at the map for my planned route I anticipated a good twenty-minute run. I began pushing my way towards Amsterdam Ave and as I ran I took in everything that I passed by. At this time of the morning, New York seemed slow. Almost like a regular city but having been born and raised in this crazy borough—specifically—I knew better. I smiled as I passed the Beacon Theatre, the very place where Olivia and I had gone on our first date. I knew she had a love for the arts and I had asked my dad for tickets for a sold out show. She briefly wondered but all I'd said was that a friend owed me a favor. As I rounded the corner on W 77th, I saw in the distance Teddy Roosevelt Park and reminisced on the many times my children, my wife, and I had been to this very own park and its museum. This is where the twins had said their very first word and we couldn't had been more ecstatic for that. I monitored my breathing and felt for my heart rate, I was doing well, not pushing or over straining myself. I came around and found myself on Central Park West. This side of the park was always my favorite, mostly because Turtle Pond was on this side and it was a place that Vienna and I thoroughly enjoyed as children.

The thought of Vienna alone nearly caused me to falter but I shook the negative thoughts out and focused on the good ones. We had been close growing up. Mother used to say that she always knew when we were too quiet to always go looking for one another because it usually meant we were getting in trouble, even if we weren't together we were probably covering for the other one. I smiled and shook my head at the thought and comment. I knew she missed her and I knew she took several trips a year to go visit her in Stockbridge. After everything that had happened with the murders of the girls, Cassidy's kidnap, and my kidnapping and attempted murder, Jaxon was charged with life in prison without parole and Melanie, having only been accomplice to the kidnappings, the judge had shown leniency and only sentenced her for twenty-five years in prison. Vienna in the other hand had been sent to a psychiatric facility interminably and had to be under strict supervision at all times. It hurt, that my only sister had attempted against my life not once but twice and both times, she almost succeeded. It was a scary thing to witness and know but I knew now that she was receiving the best care possible.

As I pushed past the strawberry fields, my heart filled up with sudden contentment. The strawberry fields held a special place in my heart. The kids and I had been here multiple times and it was where Olivia and I took our wedding pictures. We were thankful to Mother Nature for allowing our wedding day in May to be one filled with sun and comfortable warmth. Who would've thought that my planned running route would be a sudden, unplanned trip down memory lane? I wasn't upset and the memories weren't unwelcomed but they were unplanned for. I was beginning to feel my legs tightening and my chest burn as the run continued. I was almost home; I only had four blocks left. I glanced at my wristwatch and noticed that I had made great time. I was to finish these four blocks and still have time to pick up breakfast for everyone to enjoy. I don't know what it was, but the sense of accomplishment that washed over me suddenly gave me the extra few pushes I needed in order to complete my run. I finished my run in front of Magnolia Bakery, roughly a quarter of a mile away from the apartment.

The bakery was packed, as it should at the early hour of the morning but thankfully, Josephine—the morning cashier—knew my face from our constant encounters. Whether it was for birthday cakes, office cupcakes, surprise pop-up visits at the precinct, or just an order for home; I was constantly in and out of this bakery, "Morning, Josephine," I mentioned with a smile.

"Oh, good morning Dr. Benson, what can I get for you?"

I placed my hands on my bump and rubbed it gently, "I'll have two blueberry lemon scones, two cherry chocolate almond scones, two cranberry pecan scones, and an apple walnut and cranberry muffin," I finished, smiling.

"You're glowing Dr. Benson," she mentioned as she maneuvered her way behind the counter picking up my order, "No coffee for Lt. Benson?"

Olivia did love their coffee, "Thank you, Josephine and yes, a medium black coffee for the Lieutenant."

Josephine chuckled and turned to prepare the coffee. She handed me everything and I handed her two twenty-dollar bills and left quickly before she could protest on the generous tip we always left.

Stepping outside after being confined in the warmth of the bakery made me shudder involuntarily. I had the bag of treats in one hand and the coffee in the other one. I walked as fast as I could to escape the cold and the sudden flurries that had begun falling. I quickly made it to the building and stepped through the doors, welcoming the sudden warmth. I rode up the elevator and up to my floor. I maneuvered the cup of coffee in my other hand and was able to fetch and insert the fob and open the door. As I closed and locked the door, I heard faint rustling and rummaging in the kitchen and as I rounded the corner, there she stood. Just fresh from slumber, her hair askew but to me, she couldn't look more beautiful, "Good morning."

She turned with a smile on her face, "Is that coffee I smell?" she said, quickly approaching me, "Oh, God, I love you woman," she mentioned as she leaned forward to place a kiss on my mouth, "Good morning, baby."

"I brought you and Noah a blueberry lemon scone," I relinquished the bag and the cup of coffee.

She took the bag and placed it atop the breakfast bar, quickly wrapping her arm around my waist and flushing my body against hers. She leaned forward and claimed my lips hungrily, the faint taste of coffee lingering on her lips. I automatically felt my body respond and react to every tongue lap and nibble Olivia awarded me. I walked her back towards the nearest wall I could find, blindly roaming through my own home. I heard the thud Olivia's body made once it collapsed with the wall and the sudden hiss that accompanied it as well. I pushed my hands underneath her tank and closed them around her ample chest, "Fuck, I missed you," I whispered against her mouth, smiling as I saw the dazed look she gave me. I maneuvered my hands quickly and removed the item of clothing that was in the way of my prize in a quick, swift motion. Before she could protest, my mouth had surrounded a pert nipple and begun creating suction.

"Fuck! Tori," she breathed out as her head landed on the wall behind her.

Her hands had moved to my hair, bringing down my ponytail and grabbing a fistful of hair, holding my head in place. I released her with a pop and moved my mouth across the valley of her breasts, nibbling and kissing as I made my way to her other bud, quickly latching and performing the same tender acts that had her cursing to the ceiling and tightening her grasp on my hair. I flicked her nipple before latching my teeth around it; gently applying pressure and hearing my wife moan my name in pleasure. I released her and crashed my mouth into hers, moving my dominant hand to her front, down her stripped pajama pants, reaching for that coveted button. As my fingers made contact to her wet heat, our lips parted, and she gasped. Her eyes were closed, her mouth was agape, and her right arm was around my neck. Her neck lulled on her shoulders and rested against the wall, her throat exposed to me. I leaned forward and dragged my tongue from the base of it all the way up to her chin where I enclosed her chin with my teeth, nipping the mass of it as my fingers worked tirelessly at her nub.

"Tori," she whispered. Her eyes remained closed as a tear escaped and begun its path down the side of her face.

I smiled triumphantly as I pushed my hand further into her velvety folds. My fingers played at her entrance and with my free hand, I brought Olivia's pants down and exposed roughly half of her ass, just to give my hand more leverage. I inserted two fingers and saw as Olivia nearly crumbled in front of me, "Easy there, baby," I husked, attempting to hold her in place between the wall and I.

"M—M—" Olivia stammered, too engrossed in her own pleasure to be able to formulate complete words.

I trailed kisses up her jaw, ending at her ear, "Tell me what you need, Liv," I spoke softly, quickly unraveling my tongue and pulling her earlobe into my mouth, and sucking gently.

She gasped, circling her other arm around my neck, pushing her cheek against mine, "Jesus, Tori. M—More," she swallowed, "I want more."

"More," I parroted, biting her earlobe as I inserted a third finger into her core.

"Unh," Olivia moaned, throwing her head back once again.

I could feel all of Olivia's desire on my hand as she panted and hissed at the way my fingers searched her insides. My pads were massaging the pillowy wall that had grown just as her insides began clenching and unclenching around my digits. I knew her release was mere seconds away but I was not to let her have it until she begged, "P—Please," she swallowed, willing some moisture into her dry mouth.

I smiled and bit my lip as I watched the beautiful expressions of my wife's face, "Please what, Olivia?"

She moaned, deep and throaty and I was thankful that she knew not to scream as the kids were several feet away and at the verge of their morning wake-up call, "Please what, Olivia?" I repeated.

"Tori," she moaned as she clenched her walls around my fingers, her vice-like grip offered friction and pressure but also a welcoming warmth that I was reveling in, "please," she whined once more as her mouth fell open again.

"Give me what I want first," I husked softly and drew my lips to the tingling skin of her neck.

She knew what I wanted and she knew what I meant when those words were mentioned. She slowly opened her eyes and brought her head up to lock them with mine. An impish smirk danced on my features and Olivia growled and claimed my mouth hungrily. I brought my thumb to her bundle of nerves and applied calculated pressure to it. She released my mouth but not before hellishly biting my pouty bottom lip. I hissed and applied more pressure on her, "I love you," I mumbled once she released her hold on my lip.

"I l—" she went to reply as I circled my thumb on her clitoris, pushing her into ecstasy. I watched as her eyes rolled back and her head hung loose on her neck. I could feel her nectar collect on my palm and I could feel my own arousal seep through me. My core throbbed and as I slowly eased my fingers out and ran them up her folds, I motioned circles on her nub, eliciting another orgasm from my spent lover. Her sensitivity had been heightened and I had not taken mercy on her state. She gasped as she brought her head forward, our lips crashing together lazily.

Olivia rested her head on my shoulder as her body slumped forward. I stumbled slightly but was able to hold her upright, "Liv, baby," I coaxed as I brought my hand out of her legs and pulled her pants up, "Talk to me, sweetheart."

I could hear her swallow, "I l—love you too," she said as she chuckled, "I can't feel my legs."

"They're there, I promise," I ran my hand up her back, calming her erratic breathing and as I did so, I could feel her body thrumming, literally vibrating from our quick against-the-wall romp. I kissed her hair and continued to whisper my love for her, "Think you can move now?"

She nodded and brought her head up and rested her body against the wall completely, "Where's my tank top?"

I looked around the floor and spotted it near the bar stools. I knelt and picked it up and quickly tossed it to her as I continue to approach her. I removed my running jacket and had it hang against the couch's backrest, having myself only be in my sports bra. Olivia quickly placed her tank on and pushed herself off the wall, sauntering towards me. She placed her palms on my bump and rubbed gently, "You look beautiful, babe."

"So do you," I said, kissing her lips quickly, "Sit, eat your breakfast while I reheat your coffee and wake the kids."

Olivia furrowed her brow, "B—But, what about…"

"We have the whole morning and afternoon to ourselves, Olivia. Don't be greedy," I finished with a wink as I heard our bedroom door open.

We turned around and saw as Noah and Cassidy came out of the room with sleepy expressions on their faces, "Good morning," Olivia said.

Noah came over and hugged my waist and placed a kiss to my belly, "Morning Mommy," he continued as he rubbed my belly.

Olivia picked up Cassidy and she rested on her shoulder. That girl was not a morning a person anymore, "I brought you a blueberry lemon scone, Noah."

He looked up at me and smiled, "You did?" I nodded as he reached for my neck. He kissed me multiple times on the cheek and uttered his thanks.

"Mama," Cassidy said in between a yawn as Olivia placed her down on the ground.

She kissed my belly, "Hi nugget," she mumbled against the skin of my abdomen, "what about me?"

"I picked up a cherry chocolate almond one for both you and Hunter," I relented as I raked my fingers through her coppery tresses.

She released my waist and brought her arms close to her body in a 'yes' motion. Olivia guided them both to the breakfast bar and offered them both their scones. I knew we had good time on the twins; they would sleep for another hour or so, "Baby, who's the muffin for?"

"Me."

"And, the cranberry pecan scone?"

"Hudson, you know he loves them."

"Yea, but there's two of them," she said with a smile.

I looked up at her as I motioned through the kitchen, fetching the kids some juice to accompany their scones, "For nugget," I said softly, averting my eyes.

Olivia laughed heartily and hummed as she took a sip of her freshly warmed coffee.

The kids finished their breakfasts and one by one filed into the bathroom to shower and get ready for school. I had picked out a warm outfit for Noah and paired it with his black Dr. Marten's boots as it was snowing outside and for my little fire engine, since she wore uniform, she had expressed wanting to go with the red today. The twins woke and Olivia set them up with their breakfast and as eight o'clock almost rolled around, Lucy appeared. She was in shock at my bump and had congratulated us on the new addition. We loved having Lucy as our nanny, she was amazing and we were grateful for her and her services. I mentioned to Lucy that I had reservations for City Treehouse and I gave her my card to keep the twins busy and out of the apartment for the remainder of the morning and part of the afternoon. We could always count on Lucy to help us execute and conquer our mischievous plans and crazy ideas.

* * *

Review! Please, it keeps my creative juices going. :)


	21. Reconnecting, 2

**WARNING:** This chapter will be nothing but smut. Our leading ladies are in need of that rekindling, so be "warned".

* * *

 _ **Reconnecting, 2**_

The shower felt amazing. There was something about having your muscles relax under powerful jets with added pressure that seemed to always do the trick. Whether it was after a tiring day at work, stress from dealing with the kids, or just soreness from lovemaking, a shower was always something I enjoyed. More so than a bath, that was Olivia's niche. Thankfully we had both in our in suite bathroom and though, I must admit, the bathtub had been quite surprising and relaxing in the past, after my morning run all I wanted and needed was a long shower. I exited the bathroom and everything was still and silent around the apartment. I had spent a little over thirty minutes in the shower so there was a possibility that Olivia had fallen asleep. I walked to the chest of drawers and searched it, looking for underwear to wear and a particular drawer caught my attention.

Olivia and I were not the type to overtly use toys in bed just for the simple fact that we both enjoyed the feel of each other and we could reach _multiple_ sexual peaks without the need of one but every once in a while, my wife enjoyed being taken by a strap and I thoroughly enjoyed giving Olivia said pleasure. The pleasures I reached with toys involved and delved more into the BDSM realm and though apprehensive, Olivia delivered at the best of her abilities without feeling like she was overly crossing the line with hurting my body. But, she did enjoy it. She loved hearing me beg and oh, how her body reacted to my pleas and cravings… I could feel myself getting worked up by the mere thought of Olivia's savory nectar, the feel of venerable monosyllable on my body, and her irresistible musky scent had me on a frenzied overdrive to reach said drawer.

As I knelt in front of it, I could feel the anticipation run through my body. My adrenaline was shot and I couldn't wait for the pleasurable release. As I'm staring at the contents of the drawer, I revel in two things: pinch adjustable nipple clamps and the strapless dildo. I'm staring and am caught staring at the contents of the drawer but it wasn't until she cleared her throat that I knew she was there, "What do we have here?" she husked, her voice dripping in sex.

I heard myself mewl and could feel my arousal pool, "I—I—I thought you were asleep," I admitted, attempting to assuage my breathing.

"And, what were you planning on doing, huh? Pull out what you were going to use, Tori," she commands as she begins to remove her clothing and I felt myself gulp.

I quickly pulled the strapless dildo out and my other hand hovers over the nipple clamps. My nipples are already sensitive and I know that with a little attention I can reach the same level of pleasure and pain these pinch nipple clamps can provide but would Olivia be up to it? She loved it when I paid attention to her chest and she'd moan and scream the loudest when I bit them so, why not give it a try? I pulled the clamps out and shut the drawer and stood but once I turned she had me wrapped up within her, her lips feverishly on mine. I moaned into the kiss, separating my lips for her tongue to roam freely with mine. As our tongues clashed together, I could feel another wave of arousal settle on my center making it already unbearable to withstand any of her ministrations. Our lips came apart and I couldn't help but moan at the loss of contact but the quick nibble on my pulse point ended my resolve. My arms circled her neck and her hands found my sensitive chest and as she squeezed my head lulled on my neck, "Fuck me, Olivia," I breathed against her ear, arching my back into her hands for more contact, "I don't want any foreplay, I just want you; now," I growled.

I heard Olivia's throaty chuckle and I knew that there'd be a mark on my flesh just where her mouth had been mercilessly attacking my neck but I wasn't complaining, this is what I'd been waiting for. This is what I wanted, what I craved. I needed my olive goddess; I _wanted_ my wife… She saw the contents of my right hand and smirked, "Aren't they sensitive enough?" she asked, presuming the clamps were for my use.

"They're for you this time, Liv," I responded latching our lips together, not allowing her time to protest as I walked us back to the foot of the bed. I felt the cool fabric of our comforter and I climbed the bed effortlessly, not allowing for the separation of our lips for even a second. Once comfortable in what I hoped for was the middle of the bed, I leaned back, comfortably opening my legs and allowing for Olivia to rest in between them.

"Tori," she mumbled against my chin and I knew what she was asking.

"Trust me, baby, please."

Our eyes met and searched the other and I saw her nod. Her devotion to our pleasure was always admirable but I loved it even more when she would strip her self bare and allowed me to be her guide, to be the one that wouldn't cause her any harm, and she knew that as long as I breathed, no harm would come to her or our children. I latched my teeth to that sensitive spot on her collarbone and her pelvis drove to mine, causing me to grunt but never releasing the flesh in my mouth, "Fuck," she shouted once my teeth sunk further into her. Olivia rocked her hips, creating a beautiful motion between our bodies, our centers mating, and our nubs dancing.

She was holding her body up with her arms at either side of my body and as I released the objects in my hands, I brought them to her chest and threw my head back, "Yes, Liv! Faster," giving her an encouraging squeeze.

She picked up the pace on her hips and lowered her body on mine, almost stopping my rocking hips as she latched on my breast. I hissed and pinched her nipples, bringing my head forward to connect my eyes with hers, "Jesus," I clamored, having temporarily lapsed on my wife's irascible mouth.

She dragged my nipple back between her teeth and that nearly sent me spiraling in my lewdness. I opened my legs further, allowing her for further movement and I heard her grunt, "Baby, I'm there… God," she moaned as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and biting her lip, her stare never leaving mine.

I met her gyrating motion collectively, "Liv," I moaned as my nails dug on the skin of her shoulder blades, having left her chest the second my lower body tightened with pleasure, and my body arched off of the comforts of our matrimonial bed.

She yelped once her orgasm hit her milliseconds after mine. I would lay my body for most strenuous and arduous labor just to see her eyes erupt with carnality every time I could. She slowed her movements and lowered her face to meet mine as she lovingly nudged our noses together. An act so tender, so soft yet so incredibly enticing and provocative… I giggled at the roguish expression that sat upon my wife's face and raised my head to quickly capture her lips and before I rested my body back on the bed, I captured her bottom lip between my teeth, enclosing my lips on hers and providing gently suction as my tongue teased it. I could hear her ragged breathing, the one I recognized with her aroused state and I released her, placing a kiss once more before falling on the bed.

She hummed in admiration as she pushed her body, running her hands seductively down my sides, over my hips, and down my inguinal crease; teasing my labia as she did so and continued her journey down my thighs. I stared at her as she performed such tormenting act and felt my body thrum and burn under her skillful touch and watched, as her eyes never wavered from my sodden center. My back arched unwillingly off of the bed and she would smile to herself every time she'd hear my silent moans. By no means I was to disrespect Olivia and touch myself—as objectifying as it may sound—my body belonged to her in that moment. She was pleasuring me, she was making me feel good, what her hands and fingers were doing to my lower half and the ways my body reacted to her tantalizing ministrations were given signs of the purchase she had on my body, "So beautiful," she mused to no one in particular and her nimble fingers slowly became to halt.

I pushed myself on my hands, slowly closing my legs, and maneuvering my body to sit on my heels. I looked down between us and ran my hands over her thighs, up her sides as I circled her ample bosom and my rode my left index finger down the valley of her breasts, over her navel, down her mound, and I rotated my wrist to enter my palms into her core. She moaned and threw her head back, "Baby," she seethed, quickly reveling in the tease. I searched with my right hand the two metal pinch clamps and fisted them securely as I leaned forward to claim her left nipple, dropping an open mouth kiss, and bringing my tongue forth to lap at it carefully. A shudder ran down her spine and one of her hands rested on my nape, holding me in place. I smiled and kissed the taut bud, placing the clamp on it and tightening it carefully. This was meant for pleasure and the last thing I wanted was for her to hurt, she moaned deep and throaty once it pinched, "How does that feel, baby?" I asked, straightening my stance.

She bit her lip and closed her eyes, evening her breathing, "Surprisingly amazing," she conceded with a smile.

I nodded and repeated the same loving treatment to the other nipple, applying the same amount of gentle pressure with the clamp, "And, now?"

She nodded, acquiescing her level of comfort, "I love you," she mentioned, bringing her lips to mine.

"I love you, too," I breathed out, kissing her nose.

I brought my right hand in between her legs, testing for arousal as I reached for the strapless dildo. I rubbed it in between her legs as I leaned forward to flick one of her nipples with my tongue, "Oh God," she cried, a pleasurable sound as her head lulled backwards. I teased her opening with the dildo, slowly pushing it inside as I heard my wife nearly shout my name in pleasure. I pushed the phallus deeper into Olivia until I heard her gasp, her telling sign that she was filled beyond repair and the toy had successfully reached that foreign wall. I leaned back and allowed for her to place the bulb inside me, the act alone creating friction for her as she bit her lip and sucked in air through her teeth. I felt the bulb comfortably sitting inside of me, the clitoral ridges of the toy aligned perfectly with my body, allowing for extra sensations as I awarded Olivia control of our pace.

She sat on my pelvis and grunted and she repeated the motion again, gaining a moan from me. As Olivia moved, I could feel the gentle pull the strap gave me and soon, with added rhythm and pace, we were sweating, moaning, and cursing to the heavens for this pleasurable moment. Olivia looked like a primal being from my vantage point. Her hips swayed, her lips were parted and curled into a smile, the moans she was emitting to our room, the way she moaned with mine, the way her hair stuck to her forehead and neck, and the gentle bounce of her chest was sending me into overdrive, "Yesyesyesyes," I coaxed my wife as I met her thrust for thrust.

Olivia raked her hands through her hair to clear any strand stuck to her face and held it in place at the crown of her head, "Fuck. Me. Tori," she said through clenched teeth and since I lived to please my wife, that's exactly what I was going to do.

I held her hips in place, stopping her movements, and taking charge. I brought my hands up her sides slowly, "So much allure," I mused as I ran my fingers up her body, "Such shapeliness, Liv," I said as I ran my tongue over my bottom lip. She knew I loved her body just as much as I loved her as a human being and I would never tire of mentioning it to her, of adoring her, and showering her with compliments because she deserved praise. I stopped at her breasts and gave them a squeeze, eliciting a low guttural moan from my wife, "Yes," she moaned, her hands holding mine in place. I smirked and flicked the weighted beads of one of her nipple rings, she hissed, "Tori," she screamed, grounding her pelvis with mine.

"Again?" I asked as I squeezed her breasts once more. She wavered with her answer so I flicked the beads on her opposite breast.

"Unh," she groaned, "Fuck. Me."

I growled and planted my feet on the bed and used my lower body to drive into Olivia's core repeatedly. The appendage pulled inside of me and the clitoral ridges were driving me insane. Accompany that with Olivia's moans in gusto, the way her hands held her hair at the base of her head, the entirety of the picture above me; the wanton seductress riding me at this precise moment was the most picturesque moment and something I did not want to come to an end. I was nearing my release, our bodies on a heated overdrive that we were relishing on and did not want to end. Olivia was moaning seductively, every one of them resonating against the walls and reverberating against our bodies. Both of us moaning uncontrollably, whispering each other's name, yelping in solace, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Olivia chanted, "Baby," she dragged out her moan and I knew that was her telling sign.

"Fuck," I repeated as I slapped my body against hers, our pleasure buttons rubbing against each other.

"Yes! God, yes, please, Tori," she seethed.

I flicked the beads that hung from the pinch clamps and she gasped and held her breath, "Fuck," I groaned and delivered two deep thrusts and felt her thighs shake against my body.

"TORI," she screamed, her arms falling from her head and landing on my swell.

"LIV," I gasped and moaned shortly after, my back arching, my head pressing on the pillow, and my hips stilling to allow for us to relish in our orgasms. My body relaxed and I released the hold on my lip that I never realized I was holding between my teeth. Her breathing was ragged but her skin glowed. Her head lulled forward as she caressed my bump, humming in delight, and enjoying her high. My heartbeat had slowed significantly and I slowly sat up, hissing as the clitoral ridges rubbed my sensitive button. Olivia's hands traveled upwards on my body and landed on my shoulders where she placed her palms flush against my neck. I leaned forward and placed a kiss on her sternum, bringing my hands forward to release her nipples from the clamps. I did so slowly, leaning forward to place a kiss on the taut bud, sliding the adjuster downwards as I circled her nipple with my lips. Olivia hissed and swallowed her moan and her hands fisted the hair at the back of my neck as I performed the same thing on her other bud. I peppered kisses on her breast and felt her chest rise and fall, looking at her through my lashes, "Did I hurt you?" I said, resting my chin on her sternum.

She shook her head and smiled, "No, you didn't," she leaned and kissed my lips, the motion alone caused slight discomfort inside of me so I hissed, "Baby," she asked, searching my eyes.

"I would love nothing else than be inside you for the rest of the day, this bulb is killing me and I can see in your eyes that the phallus is bothering you too, Liv," I mentioned, placing a kiss on her chest.

She tittered as she dismounted my lap and breathed deeply, "I love having you inside me but that thing is uncomfortable after a while," she sighed, "Out?"

I nodded frantically and spread my legs, allowing access to remove the appendage from in between my legs. Olivia reached and carefully pulled the toy from inside of me, my hands gripping the sheets at my sides. She placed the toy at the side of my body and trailed kissed up my stomach, through the valley of my breasts and ended at my lips, where we savored the taste of our sweaty bodies in our mouth. It was the perfect ending to our lovemaking. She pulled back and placed quick kisses on my lips as she scooted closer and rested next to me, her head on my chest, arm across my swell, and leg possessively gripping mine; a position commonly assumed post-coitus. A comfortable silence fell over us briefly and I could feel her hand tickle the skin of the swell that our little nugget had created on my body, "I love you," I said softly, raking my fingers through her hair.

She hummed, "I love you more."

"That's impossible," I chuckled.

"Trust me, if you loved me any more than I love you, your heart would burst," she tittered.

I laughed loud and hearty, "Always so Shakespearean, my love. It's not a competition, you know."

"Yes, it is."

"How, Olivia?" I couldn't help but to giggle.

"You've already shown me how much you love me by giving me a family, Victoria. And, before you open your mouth to say anything, I know Noah and I were a family before but I always felt like I could give him more, and you've helped me with that," she breathed out, turning her face to look at me, "So, that's why I'll always love you _most_."

I leaned forward and captured her lips, "You're such a sap Olivia Benson, has anyone ever told you that before?"

She rested her head on my shoulder, "You, every chance you get," she chuckled.

We were falling into silence once more when my phone chirped from the nightstand. I reached over and noticed it was already noon and we had spent almost the entirety of the morning burning sheets. A text message from Lucy, "Boys are fussy and ready for nap, safe?"

Olivia chuckled, "Yes, safe."


	22. TJL

_**TJL**_

Coming back to work after being off for three months was slightly brutal. My office phone had rung incessantly and honestly, though I grew tired of it quite rapidly, I could also say that I missed the constant nagging and fast paced environment of my job. Olivia had returned to her office as well and we could tell; none of us—including the kids—wanted to return to our routines. My welcome home had been filled with surprises and joy; what a better way to say 'I'm back' than with the news that another Reyes-Benson child was to be added to the brood. Olivia had been most excited, she loved having me pregnant with her boys and she had enjoyed the pregnancy just as much as I had and this one was to be no different.

I had taken a half-day to pick up and take Cassidy to her wellness checkup. She needed her TDAP booster, her MCV, and she needed to start her HPV rotation. Noah and the boys were good for at least two more years and they had been very much relieved once the news had circled the household that their sister was in need of shots. I picked up my little fire engine from school and drove her to the pediatrician. She was not excited to see the woman since according to Cass, 'she always has something to say about me being short' and she did. Since we didn't have much information on her birth parents, there was no way of finding out if she'd be tall or not. My mother wasn't the tallest and Cass found comfort in that, she was growing up to be just like her Grandma Viv, just stopping at five feet tall.

Dr. Taha did comment on her height—as expected—and weight and congratulated Cassidy for her healthy weight gain and proceeded to ask if she had received her period to which the answer was no. We knew that due to Cassidy's severe sexual abuse in her early years in life we could had been facing early menarche, as early as the age of nine but with that came other risk factors such as metabolic disorders, cardiovascular diseases, and certain high-risk behavior in adolescence that Olivia and I were set on tackling when and if the time came. But, we also knew that late menarche could also be a possibility which came linked with a higher risk of mood disorders, low bone mineral density, and bone fractures but Cassidy was still in peak age and her health seemed to be up to par with boys and girls her age. The woman took blood for further testing and then administered the shots to my daughter, offering a lollipop as a peace offering once she was done.

"Alright pretty girl, vomiting, swelling of one leg or arm, drowsiness, and/or loss of appetite can occur with TDAP but they are 'normal' side effects," she turned and addressed me, "Dr. Reyes-Benson, if you see any wheezing, hoarseness, hives, weakness, fever, swelling on the face or throat; bring her to the ER and call me, ok?"

I nodded and gathered our belongings. Dr. Taha congratulated me on my pregnancy and proceeded to ask prodding and invasive questions about my life, specifically about Olivia. I dismissed the comments and left the office. Knowing that Cassidy had forfeited on lunch, I asked, not knowing if she'd be up for it or not, "Baby, you hungry?"

"Yes, I am starving, please!"

I chuckled, "Ok, what will it be?"

"Uh," I watched as she put herself through thought, "soup and sandwiches?"

I nodded and detoured towards the deli, "How about we get everything to go and have lunch with Mommy at work?"

I saw the girl light up and frantically nod yes. She truly enjoyed being at her mother's job. We picked up soup and sandwiches for everybody on the squad and made our way to the precinct. I could always tell when they were busy and right now, I could tell they were in the middle of a case but upon seeing that Fin, Amanda, and Carisi were at their desks, I could tell that it wasn't one as tedious as the ones Olivia and the squad had picked up recently. We entered the bullpen, my hand protectively around Cass' small one to prevent her from wandering or something else happening. This, though a safe space for children I still had to be careful because of the perps that walked through the precinct. There were predators, of the worst kind and it was my job, as a parent, to protect my children.

Amanda spotted us first, "Victoria, everything ok?" she spoke as she stood, capturing the attention of the men in the room.

"Hey Amanda," I replied, approaching the blonde woman's desk, "everything's good. Just came to deliver and possibly have lunch with you guys," I awarded as I raised the bag in my hands.

Fin reached me first and hugged my waist and kissed my cheek, "Aww, baby girl; you shouldn't have."

"Yea," Sonny responded, taking the bag from my hands, "you shouldn't have but, is that clam chowder I smell?"

Cassidy giggled at my side, "We got your favorite, uncle Sonny."

"That we did, just please, open it and eat it quickly. Nugget here _does not_ enjoy that smell," I conceded whilst grimacing.

By now, Amanda had removed the bag on Cassidy's grasp and was rummaging through it, giving everybody their designated sandwich, "Where's Olivia?"

"She's in her office with a defense attorney," Amanda answered.

I raised my brows and eyed the detectives in front of me, "No, everything is fine. Langan's advocating for a victim's family, they should be done soon," Sonny added.

And, as if magic were spoken, the door to Olivia's office opened, revealing the beautiful sight of my wife. I smiled and called for Cass' attention that was already enjoying her tomato soup with her grilled cheese sandwich. My daughter and I caught glimpses and I tilted my head towards the office where she saw the figure of her mother leaning on the doorjamb, waiting for whomever it was to exit her office. I placed my hands on my swell and as an organic response, began rubbing it and when I heard a familiar voice mumble something indistinctively, I stopped. _Wait, is that… No, it can't be; can it?_

I couldn't believe it, out of Olivia's office walked out the handsome, tall figure of, "Jameson," I breathed out, my body immediately reacting to his presence in form of a rigid stance.

He tore his stare from Olivia's face and smiled at me, "Mariel," he said in one breath and that's when I knew, _he doesn't know my real name and true identity._

Olivia stopped on her tracks and took notice of my tensed posture, the entire team did as well as my very receptive eleven-year-old, "Tori, baby; are you ok?"

I felt the room spin and I stumbled, springing Fin into action, "Tori?" he mumbled confusedly.

Olivia rushed to my side and placed her hand at the small of my back as I held my stomach with one hand and Fin's forearm with the other, "Mama," said Cassidy as she approached me, her small hands on my bump, and that rich, cocoa stare bringing me slowly back as she smiled.

"What's going on? Do you two—do you two know each other?" Olivia asked.

I nodded, "Remember my internal bleeding? The bruises, bites, and cuts?"

I watched as everything registered for my wife and she quickly stepped in turning my face towards hers, her hands at either side of my face and neck, "Baby," she breathed out, bringing our lips together.

I smiled and rested my forehead against Olivia's and noticed that Jameson had not stopped staring at Cassidy. Again, Cassidy was small for her age and if you didn't knew us personally or actually interacted with the girl, you would never know her age. I knew what he must've been thinking but I decided to let it play out, "Please, stop staring at my daughter."

"I'm sorry," he conceded, "Mariel—"

"Victoria," I bit back, "Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson," I looked at him through my lashes.

"Guys, can you take this to the break room, please," Olivia mentioned to her squad.

"Liv," Fin warned.

"We got this, Fin; thanks. Trevor is not going to do anything out of line," Olivia responded quickly.

 _Trevor? Was that his name?_ "Hi Mommy," said Cassidy as she hugged her mother's hips.

"Hey sweet pea; how was the doctor?"

"Good, I got a lollipop for my shots," the girl giggled.

Olivia knelt and kissed her cheek, "Go with them CJ, Mama and I will be there soon."

Cassidy nodded and walked back to the desk she was sitting next to, dunking her sandwich in her soup, "You're wearing white, Cassidy Jade," I admonished playfully.

She tittered and nodded. We waited until everyone was out of earshot before Trevor spoke once more, "Victoria Reyes? As in the _missing heiress_?"

"Yes, _Trevor_ ," I replied.

"I hid my identity because of the business but you," he begun pacing, "you—you…"

"What happened that night?" I asked.

He deflated and stopped, "I lost control and I—I'm sorry. I was jealous and upset… I'm—I'm so sorry," he said in one breath, taking a step forward as my body tensed.

"Stop, don't you dare," Olivia said, placing her self slightly in front of me.

"I'm sorry."

"Jealous of whom?" I asked.

"Whoever was bedding you when I wasn't," he acquiesced as he glared at Olivia.

"Jesus," I said breathily, rubbing my brow, "No one was _bedding_ me _but_ you, Jameson!"

I'd chosen my words carefully and I knew I would get the reaction I wanted by mentioning that simple fact, "Is—Is she mine?" he said, pointing towards the break room.

I scoffed and shook my head, "Unbelievable," Olivia spoke before I could, "I ought to have you arrested for assault, Langan."

"What are you talking about, Olivia?" he responded with an amused grin on his face.

"It's Lieutenant," she barked back, placing her hands on her hips, "After _that night_ , she started working with us and that Monday morning she collapsed right here on that very spot you're standing on. Her blood pressure dropped because you injured her so fatally that she was bleeding internally, _Counselor_!"

He ran his hand over his mouth, "Is it true, Victoria? You could've died because of what I did?"

I fell silent and looked at the ground. Usually, I would've been the first one to bicker and be belligerent but there was something about this man, there was some type of mechanical reaction that my body had, a Pavlovian reaction to him and to the training I'd received as to how to react when in his presence. And, though, married and not having heard from him in nearly six years, I couldn't bring myself to answer, "Answer me," he grumbled, raising his voice.

My body reacted with a jolt and everything was put in perspective, "Don't you dare raise your voice at me, Jameson. I'm not your fucking play toy anymore," I glared at him and could feel his anger rise, "My wife already told you the aftermath of what happened in results to that weekend. Do _not_ address me like I owe you something," I said as I turned to start towards the break room but before departing I turned on my waist, "And, no, Cassidy is _not_ yours. She's Olivia's," he scoffed and averted his eyes, "but I can see you don't believe me so you can contact our lawyer and discuss whatever it is you want and need to discuss with her. Understood?"

He nodded and crossed his arms against his chest, "Who is you lawyer, Victoria?"

I leaned forward and kissed Olivia's cheek as I smiled, "I brought you lunch, babe. Come eat with us tan pronto saques la basura, yes?"

Olivia shook her head as she smiled, "I love you."

I winked and began walking and over my shoulder I shouted, "Casey Novak, I believe you know where to find her?"

I walked briskly to the break room where the team was eating their food but if I knew anything about something, I knew they had been eavesdropping. Cassidy smiled and patted the chair next to her, "Mama, was your soup the vegetable or the chicken noodle?"

I tittered as I sat, "I want the vegetable soup now, Olivia can manage without it," Cassidy nodded and handed me the cup with it, "Out with it, guys. I know you all heard that circus."

"You have history with Langan," Carisi began, a wry smile on his face.

"Unfortunately, I do. Though, I didn't know who he was until today."

"How do you know him, Tori?" Amanda asked.

I chuckled as I took a spoonful of my soup, "I was his… _pet_ for almost twelve years," I mumbled as I glanced at Cassidy, whom—thankfully—was too entertained with her phone to pay attention to the conversation.

The detectives widened their eyes and continued eating with gusto, derailing the conversation to something much light and appropriate for a child to be around. Olivia entered the bullpen with a smirk on her face, "Mommy," Cassidy shouted, "we got your favorite!"

Olivia hummed, "What's that? A turkey club with vegetable soup?"

"Oh," I said frowning, "nugget wanted vegetable soup."

Olivia threw her head back as she sat opposite to Cassidy, "Nugget and I are going to have a conversation when I get home. Mommy doesn't like sharing when she's really, really hungry," she said, winking towards me.

We all fell into light chatter and soon after, the altercation had been forgotten. I knew Olivia and I were to have a conversation when we were in the privacy of our home. It's not like I had kept this a secret from her, she knew what had happened that night _but_ she did not know who had caused it. I didn't plan for this to be part of our lives now but it was here and it needed to be dealt with. As I was finishing my soup and salad I remembered what I'd done. I basically had grabbed this enormous bag of manure and gently had it pushed towards a person whom I had only met once. Casey's and I relationship was still in its acquaintance stage and I had no right to do this to her. I didn't even know if this was an area of expertise of hers. I excused myself from the table and walked out of the break room and into Olivia's office, quickly dialing and hoping that Jameson hadn't quite made it to her yet. The line ringed, for quite some time before the redhead picked up, " _Novak_ ," she chirped into the receiver.

"Reyes," I answered, knowing that if I'd said 'Benson' it could create confusion.

" _Oh?_ ," she replied and honestly, I could not blame her, " _Victoria, is—is everything alright? Is it Olivia? Are the kids ok?_ "

I smiled at the woman's concern for both my partner and my children, "Uh, no, no, nothing of that sorts. Actually," I breathed out, closing my eyes and gathering my thoughts, "are you alone?"

I heard faint rustling, " _I am, is everything ok? You're scaring me._ "

"Trevor Langan is on his way to your office right now, possibly or you could be receiving an email or a call from him; I don't know. But, just _please_ play along. I'll explain everything to you on Friday with lunch."

Casey faltered and stuttered, " _What? Why? And, l—lunch? Victoria—_ "

"I know, I know, please? Olivia is aware, just… please?" I begged the woman.

It was a few seconds before she responded, " _Alright, answer me this._ "

"Anything."

" _Am I at risk of losing my job? And, don't lie to me. You owe me_ _ **at least**_ _that much._ "

"No, it will not put you at a risk of losing your job, Counselor," I responded.

" _Ok, I can't do Friday because I have court but I can do Thursday. I have a motions hearing but I should be done for a slight late lunch,_ " she offered.

"Uh, Thursday, perfect. See you then," I replied, running my fingers through my hair, "Oh, and Casey?"

" _Yea?_ "

"Please don't tell Alex about any of this. I'll have my separate conversation with her," I said biting my lip, knowing that I had probably crossed the line with this request more than I had with asking for this favor in the first place.

" _Jesus Christ_ ," she said in a breathy sigh, " _What the hell am I supposed to say when she asks why Langan was in my office?_ " she asked, not allowing time for me to answer, " _This place has more leaks than a rusty pipe._ "

"You'll think of something, Counselor. Relax, Casey; I promise I am not putting in jeopardy your relationship with Alex. Plus, you can always say it's attorney-client privilege," I mentioned matter-of-factly.

Casey giggled on the other side, " _It's Alex for heaven's sake, she's not falling for it and you know that._ "

I tittered softly, "I know, wishful thinking. Just… please Casey? I know I've dragged you into this and you're already being incredibly helpful… Please."

" _Ok, ok, just know I am_ _ **not**_ _a cheap date,_ " I giggled at her acquiescence and we hang up shortly after. This was going to be the real test of resistance and resilience. I hated that this altercation could possibly put Cassidy through somewhat of a nightmare but Jameson clearly thought I was lying when I told him the truth, what else was I supposed to do?


	23. Redheaded Talk

_**Redheaded Talk**_

Thursday was here faster than anticipated and my lunch with Casey was fast arriving. I was thankful that today, everything that was on my calendar was for either before noon or very well into the afternoon. Of course, that meant that I was not leaving this building until my scheduled time off. Thankfully, Casey and I worked but a mere three-minute walk of each other and we had agreed that I was to pick her up and take her to lunch. I was nervous. I sat behind my desk, annoyingly tapping my pen against the wood of the desk. This wasn't like going out with Alex or with my wife or with any other friend or colleague, this was and felt like going on a date, a _blind_ date at that. I had only met the statuesque woman once before—almost six years ago—at Alex's apartment for Thanksgiving. We had passing conversation and that was it. She had 'magically' shown at our door roughly six months ago and ever since, she had been part of the inner circle. We were cordial and respectful of each other but we were still wary of one another.

I saw as an incoming notification popped up on the screen of my desktop and immediately thought the worst. Opening it, I was somewhat relieved of its contents. Another case, another appointment with the Bureau; _that can wait, I have lunch with Casey now_. I picked up my purse and looped my arm though it as I glanced at my gold wristwatch. I stood and fixed the skirt of my sweater dress and adjusted the sleeves of the white button down I had purposefully wore underneath the dress for added warmth as well as a touch of style. I walked out of my office with purpose and rode the elevator down to the somewhat chilly weather of the New York late-winter time. Downstairs, I instantly regretted my decision of not wearing my coat but now that I was down here, I had to commit. I made the short three-minute trip to the DA's Office, "Hello, I'm looking for ADA Casey Novak," I said to the front desk clerk.

"Is she expecting you?" he asked with a smile.

"Uh, if I'm honest, I really don't know but she knows who I am," I offered.

"Ok, give me one second," he excused him self as he picked up the phone and dialed the office of the redhead. She picked up on the other side and they had their exchange, "Ma'am," he called out, "what's your name again, I'm sorry."

"Dr. Reyes-Benson," I responded mechanically with a smile.

He continued his conversation with Casey and once he hung up, he spoke, "You may go up Dr. Reyes-Benson, fourth floor, office four-two-three."

"Thank you," I smiled and batted my lashes as I received the visitor sticker from the man. I rode up the elevator to the correct floor and once the doors opened I glanced to my right and saw the numbers in descending order and then to my left as they ascended. I turned and at the end of the hallway I could see Casey's office. I knocked on the slightly ajar door, "May I?"

"Yea, yea, come in," she called from the inside. Upon entering the office, I noticed this was nothing like Alex's office on the seventh floor. Casey's office was slightly bigger and it held a table with eight chairs behind her desk. _What exactly is her title?_

"Hello, Casey," I said, standing awkwardly in front of her desk, my hands on my bump.

She stood and surrounded her desk, leaning forward to have me enveloped in a quick hug. As she pulled away, her hands landed on my swell, "You look beautiful, Victoria."

I chuckled, "Thank you but when are you going to start calling me Tori? Hmm," I asked, looking into her eyes.

She smiled and bit her rosy, plump lip, "I—I didn't know I could," she acquiesced, "It's not like we know much about each other, Vic—" I raised my brows and prevented her from finishing, "Tori," she said, releasing air through her nose as she smiled.

I returned the gesture, "Well, we have a little more than an hour to get that out of the way. If your schedule allows it," I mentioned, meaning it more as a question than a statement.

She nodded and turned to grab her purse and coat, "Where are we going?"

We began walking out of her office and towards the elevators, "I'm taking you to a place where you can learn exactly who I am."

The woman next to me furrowed her brow in slight confusion but continued to walk. Once downstairs, we walked to the corner and crossed the street, "Y—You… Did you walk here?"

I nodded, "And now we're walking back so that I can pick up the SUV and take you to lunch, Counselor."

"Is this what you did to Olivia? Woo her into liking you? Because, you _do_ know that she is a complete sap," Casey mentioned as she smiled towards me.

I giggled at the woman's statement, "I do know she is a sap and I don't know, is my wooing working on you, Case?" I offered, shooting her a glance.

I saw the red tint that covered her cheeks but could not discern if it was from the nipping wind or because she did not expect such forwardness from me. Either way, I enjoyed the feeling of the light banter without the awkwardness. As we entered the Bureau building, she couldn't help but take in her surroundings. I smiled and scanned my badge, signaling to the guard at the front desk to allow for Casey to go through with me without having to be scanned and overly scrutinized by the security team. We arrived at the elevators and stepped inside to ride to the underground garage. We walked down the slight hill to my designated spot and we climbed in the SUV and promptly made it out. There was no time for small talk as I received a work call that could not be ignored. I apologized to Casey as I took the call through the car's Bluetooth. By the time we arrived at Dudley's, the call had ended. I parked about a block away and made our way to the dive. They seated and served us water immediately, "I am so sorry about that, I couldn't ignore that call. It's the current case I'm working."

"No worries, really. I completely understand, is the case with the one-six?" she asked.

"No," I said as I shook my head and took a sip of my water, "those cases come added-on at the request of the one-six commanding officer. Or, at OnePP's discretion."

"Wow," she replied, "and you're home every night by six…" she mused, chuckling.

"More like six thirty almost seven, but I'm not complaining though. I love my job."

She smiled and we fell into silence as we eyed the menu. Dudley's was a beautiful place with an exquisite menu but I could tell Casey was having quite a bit of a struggle deciding what to have, "May I order for you, Counselor?" I said and felt a smirk grow upon my lips.

She scoffed playfully, "Do your worst, Doctor."

Our server arrived and I ordered for the both of us. I was to have a roast chicken garganelli and for Casey I ordered a full experience, the Bronte burger, "Should I expect this every time?"

I tittered, "Only if you'd like, Casey."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You already did but sure, go ahead," I said.

"How does someone like you know about a place like this?" she said, her eyes sparkling as she leaned forward.

I looked at the woman across from me and immediately saw what my wife and Alexandra enjoyed in her. Casey was child-like; I'd seen it in her interactions with my children. Of course, I had been gone for three months and they seemed to have gotten really close to her in my absence but I meant it in the form of her curiosity. She was a beautiful woman with the most regal features on her face. And, though she tried, the prominence of her freckles shown through her makeup, "Whilst in WitSec, I explored the many boroughs and places of this city that Victoria Reyes couldn't. Mariel Marti on the other hand," I implied as I too leaned on the table, "I was studying in NYU and I bedded a beautiful Australian exchange student. She was feeling a little homesick one night and I made it my mission to find her the best Australian food the city had to offer. I found this place," I said, admiring my surroundings, "It's American bites with an Australian twist, it was the best I could do with our budget. She loved it… and me," I smiled smugly, causing Casey to open her mouth, surprised at my insinuation.

"Oh my God, I am telling Olivia about this. You are just like a man, _that's_ how you got Olivia," she offered playfully.

"No," I whined, "attorney-client privilege, Counselor."

"You're married, I can say whatever I want in front of her now," she mentioned triumphantly.

"Shit," I mumbled underneath my breath as I snapped my fingers.

We were having quite a delightful time I must admit; nothing was forced or seemed like it, everything flowed eventfully. Our food arrived and before she dug in, I stopped her, "Wait, I must teach you the proper way; like the Aussies like to do it."

She looked at me, bemused, "O—Ok."

"You must pop the egg first, _then_ you eat your burger," I awarded. She went to open the burger and I stopped her again, "No, no; you don't have to open it."

"Then… how?"

"Squish it."

"Squish it," she parroted as I nodded. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, "Alright, here goes nothing," she placed her hand flat atop the bun and pressed down. We watched as the yolk ran down all the layers of the burger until it reached the bottom bun. I waited until Casey took a bite of her food. She grabbed the decently sized burger and bit it. As she chewed she rolled her eyes.

I waited until she swallowed before she spoke, "Oh my God, are—are those beets?"

I nodded and began eating my food as I watched the redhead in front of me eat carefully but with gusto. Once we were done, I ordered a cookie to go because, cravings. I was thankful nugget hadn't had any food aversion with either Casey's food or mine. I did steal some of her fries as we ate in silence, thoroughly enjoying all the flavors of our meals. I took care of the tab and knowing we had just eaten a hearty meal, I invited her across the street for a cup of coffee. The day had grown incredibly chilly and I was in need of the warmth. We crossed the street and ordered our hot beverages. Casey ordered a cortado and I ordered kids sized hot chocolate. We sat towards the back of the coffee shop for our much needed privacy. Over the course of lunch, Casey had not brought up the topic of Trevor Langan and though I was very grateful for it, I knew I had to address it at one point or another. I did interrupt her day for this and she needed—no, not needed—she deserved an explanation, "On to business?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

She nodded, "Yes, please," she begun, "Why does Langan think that Cassidy is his?"

I took a deep breath and relaxed my shoulders, "The weekend before I started with SVU as Mariel Marti, I was in need of… a release of sorts and though I could've gone to anybody else, my body craved Jameson."

"Jameson?" Casey asked behind her cup.

"Trevor Langan, I believe his middle name is Jameson," I said and watched as realization settled for the redheaded attorney.

"Wait, stop," she said as she placed her mug on the table and motioned with her hands, "Are you telling me that you had _sex_ with Trevor Langan?"

I nodded reluctantly, "Though, at the time, I did not know who he was and neither did he," I paused and continued at Casey's silence, "Trevor—Casey, I am telling you this with complete discretion, though I don't care for the guy, I believe he does not want this part of his private life exposed hence the use of his middle name," Casey nodded and allowed for me to continue, "Trevor is part of the BDSM community and I met him through a mutual friend."

Casey's eyes widened but I couldn't quite figure out if it was in terror, confusion, disbelief, or a combination of all three, "Jesus Christ," she breathed out but her silence came next and I continued with my recounts of events.

"I was his _pet_ for the night, like I had been on many, many occasions. At some point throughout our scene, he lost control. He," I closed my eyes and willed my somewhat erratic breathing to slow. I was getting nauseous and I could feel a headache begin to form, though that could've been attributed to the pregnancy or to the topic in play but either way, I needed to get this out of the way, "He _assaulted_ me," I said as I slowly opened my eyes to the mortified look on Casey's face.

She reached over the table and placed her hand on one of mine, "Victoria, I—I—I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I—but there's more?"

I nodded and bit my lip, looking at the liquid in my cup, "He bruised me with his punches, cut me with both his teeth and the rope… I stopped the scene as soon as I realized that he had lost control but it was a little too late. We had gotten rough before but he always kept it… lovingly?" I shook my head and continued, "That weekend I spent it in bed. Only getting up to the restroom and to drink some water on occasion. On Monday, when I showed up to the precinct it was a little over eight degrees outside and by the end of the day, I collapsed in Olivia's arms. Turns out, I was bleeding internally. My blood had clotted and my blood pressure plummeted. I was still in WitSec and the doctor that took care of me had knowledge of the situation and was not allowing anyone to see me so, Olivia had to ask Barba for an Admin subpoena and she got to see and interrogate me. She knows about the beating but it wasn't until Monday that she found out who had given it to me.

"Jameson and I did not use protection at both his request and mine," Casey widened her eyes and set her cup on the table, "I know, I know but we had a signed agreement and he used protection with his other subs and was to get tested monthly; so was I. This happened almost six years ago and though Cassidy is _clearly_ adopted and not six any longer, he thinks she is his and I kept her from him. I told him she wasn't his but he was not buying that and since Cassidy is so small for her age…"

"He thinks you're lying," she mused, "Christ! Well, this could be settled with proof of adoption but he already filed for a paternity test and court hearing for visitation rights."

"He what?"

Casey nodded, "He stopped by my office yesterday and dropped off all the paperwork. He wants the test to be done at a lab of his choice _and_ he wants court time before the test for visitation. If and when the paternity test comes back affirmative, he's filing for joint custody of Cassidy."

I scoffed and shook my head, "Well, we know that won't happen because Cassidy is not his."

"Well, we know that, but he does not. Again, he wants to go to court for visitation rights before the test results come back. And, knowing Langan, he won't play fair, Tori," she breathed out, rubbing her temples, "I saw the adoption papers."

I sighed, I knew this would come haunt me in some type of way, shape, or form. The FBI had expedited the papers on Cassidy's adoption as well as gone through the federal courts and pulled major strings in order for me to have Cassidy without having to foster her but, the Bureau knew of my work with the girl and of the constant visits to the group home as well as times she was allowed to overnight with Olivia, Noah, and I, "Do you believe this is going to be a problem?"

Casey longingly stared at my eyes, what was she looking for? She knew I would never risk Cass' safety just for my pleasure. Everything had been done legally and correctly, well, loosely correct but it had been done correctly. Cassidy belonged to Olivia and I and there was no way in hell I was going to allow anyone to overturn the adoption, "It'll be a little… _complicated_ but you will be fine. Nothing is going to happen. I just want you to be prepared, you and Olivia both. And, I know with your vast knowledge, Cassidy will be fine too. She's a tough kid and, us redheads are resilient," she mentioned smugly.

I giggled at her comment and nodded, taking a sip from my warm beverage, "Now _that_ is the truth."

Casey smiled with her eyes and took my hand in hers, "Don't worry, Tori. I won't screw this up. Cassidy and I have grown close and us redheads have to stick together."

"Thank you, Casey. You have no idea how much that means to me. Oh, and speaking of which," I mentioned as I turned to reach my purse which was hanging from the chair's back. I reached inside and grabbed my wallet. Once open, I grabbed a folded check and slid it to the redhead, "Your retainer fee."

Casey glanced at the folded check and back up at me, "I can't take that."

"Yes, you can. Don't make me stuff it in your purse, Case."

"Victoria, I can't. I won't allow you to pay me. That's just wrong! That's like… you paying Alex for watching the kids. No, I won't take it."

I smirked, "Who says I don't pay Alex?" Casey eyed me curiously, "I have her bank information, she gets random deposits but she hardly notices. So please, take it."

Casey huffed and took the check, "Five thousand—Victoria, this is _way_ overboard. No."

"Casey," I warned.

"Fine, but I'm spending this on Christmas and birthday gifts for _your_ kids."

"It's your money now, you spend it how you see fit, _Counselor_."


	24. Family Court

**A/N:** To the reviewer that wrote "Trevor Langan, really?" Lol, yes.

* * *

 _ **Family Court**_

(Olivia's POV)

" _Noah, Cass," she addressed the big kids, "Mommy and I have to discuss something with you both."_

" _Ok," Noah offered._

 _Victoria sighed, she was feeling extremely guilty over this and though I hated every moment of it, I understood why this needed to be done. We couldn't allow Trevor to be in our lives and if this was the way we were to get rid of him, I was all for it, "Mama made a mistake. A big mistake, a long time ago, before I knew and met Mommy and you, Noah."_

" _What? What mistake is that, Mama?" Cassidy asked, folding her legs underneath her body._

 _Victoria glanced at me, asking for help as I saw the tears begin to form. I cleared my throat, "Mama, was_ _ **involved**_ _with a man that thinks he is your father, Cassidy."_

 _The girl furrowed her brow and glanced at her brother, "That—That's impossible, Mommy. I don't know who my dad was and when I was found, the man who pretended to be my dad or said he was, was shot by the police. I'm adopted, I know that."_

 _I smiled at the smarts of my daughter, she truly was a brilliant little girl, "Yes, we know that and even though we told him that, he thinks your mom and I paid off people to say differently."_

" _Mama?" she directed her attention to her mother._

 _Victoria sniffled, "This mistake was almost six years ago. Since you're so small, Cassidy, he thinks you're his daughter and that I'm keeping you from him."_

 _Cassidy and Noah both giggled, "Well that's dumb, Cassie is eleven," Noah said._

" _He still doesn't get it, does he?" she asked, "Is it the same man I saw at Mommy's job the other day?"_

" _Yes," Victoria confirmed._

" _Unfortunately, we're going to have to go to court, CJ. He wants visitation and he wants a paternity test," I continued, quickly biting the bullet and trusting that my children could understand._

" _What?" Noah and Cassidy said in unison._

" _What does that mean?" Noah continued._

" _It means that you, my darling girl, are needed to speak in court but, we'll do whatever it is that you want to do, Cassidy. Your mom and I do not want to put you through any distress," I said, placing my hand on the girl's knee._

 _Cassidy looked at Noah and held his gaze. These two, I swear, they couldn't be closer simply because there was no possible way, "I'll do it but I don't want to spend time with him, Mommy. I am getting better around men but I just don't… I don't trust myself to be ok without you or Mama there."_

 _I smiled and released my breath, "Whatever you want, Cassidy. You are old enough to speak in court."_

" _And, we will all be there with you, Cass," Victoria spoke through her tears, "I am so sorry for putting you through this, sweet pea."_

 _Cassidy smiled and moved to hug her mom, "You and Mommy always say that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you own up to them and learn from them."_

 _Victoria chuckled, "Oh, trust me; I've learned from this one."_

"Liv!"

I snapped my head around and smiled at the sight of my wife, "Where were you just now? Are you ok?" she asked as she approached me, a worried look on her face.

I shook my head, "Just remembering the night you told Noah and Cassidy about today."

She smiled, "At least we know they're listening when we're disciplining them."

We laughed, "You look beautiful," I mentioned, taking in the sight of my wife in her all black ensemble.

"Not too much for court?"

"No," I whispered as I placed my hands on her growing bump. We were silent for a while, she always let me have a minute or two of admirations of her growing swell, "What about me?"

She stepped closer, her lips barely brushing against mine, "You know I love you in blue," she whispered against my lips causing a shudder to run down my spine before she pulled back.

"Oh," I husked, smirking, "You're evil."

She bit her lip and smiled, "We're going to be late."

I shook my head and walked out of the room with her. In the living room, our children were waiting for us. Cassidy was dressed beautifully in a v neck knitted mini dress with her black tights and flats, her hair neatly pulled up and away from her face in two space buns; Noah had navy chinos with a grey long-sleeve button down and his dress boots; the boys were dressed in salmon chinos with Hunter wearing a robin's egg button down and Hudson a mint button down, both had their button downs rolled up to their elbows and were wearing their Dr. Marten's boots. It was then when I noticed; we were all wearing some sort of blue with the exception of Victoria that was wearing all black. She always made a point to have the kids match in color wheel and I found it completely adorable.

We made our way to the door and made sure everybody had his or her coat on before stepping out. It had been snowing—again—and we wanted to make sure no one caught a cold. We rode contently to the courthouse; nothing was out of place or seemed different. The kids understood the situation and the boys, being the youngest, had had the situation explained differently in order for them to understand it fully. Victoria had spoken to Alex shortly after her meeting with Casey. She had not been happy about the situation and after bickering for what seemed like forever with my wife, she finally came to her senses and understood why she had gone to Casey instead of her. Casey had been a gem throughout all of this. She did not have to do any of it but she was more than happy to do so.

I saw Victoria fidgeting with her wedding set and worrying her lip. I reached across the center console and grabbed her left hand, shifting her attention to me, "Stop that, you know we're going to be fine."

She smiled and squeezed my hand, "I know, I just can't stop thinking if I made the right decision or not. I should've just told him her age."

"He didn't believe you when you said she wasn't his, what makes you think he would've believed you when you said her age?" I countered.

"Olivia," she warned.

"No, Tori, listen. I know how Langan works, ok? He's already saying that you paid off people to agree that she's not his _and_ that you fabricated the adoption paperwork," I glanced at her quickly, averting my eyes from the road in front of us, "He's a sleezeball and the only way he'll stop is when Judge Linden reads that she's not his daughter. Stop worrying, baby," I finished, delivering a gentle squeeze to her hand.

She sighed and nodded, "Mommy, what's sleezeball," Hudson asked.

Victoria guffawed and stared at me with amusement. I glared at her before delivering my answer, "Something you should never repeat young man, understood?" Hudson nodded and smiled, "That goes for the two of you back there, also."

"Oh, you're no fun, Mommy," Noah playfully said.

"I was going to add that to my list of 'things to call Noah when he gets on my nerves'," Cassidy quipped.

"Hey!" I chided playfully, capturing their stares through the rearview.

No matter how low we were all feeling we could always count on each other to be pulled back around. The banter and chatter continued until we reached the courthouse where we parked and made our way quickly to the inside. Once inside, we found the correct partition and made it to Judge Linden's courtroom. Outside of the doors, Casey was waiting for us, looking her best in her dress suit. She greeted the kids first with kisses and hugs. I approached her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, lacing my arms through her arms to pull her in for a hug. Casey blushed, as her stare caught mine, "Liv," she whispered.

"What?"

She nodded towards Victoria, "Oh please Casey," Victoria interfered, "It's not like we don't do it with Alex. And, when the time comes, I'm sure we'll be sharing them too if that's what you'd like."

Casey blushed again, her eyes trained on the floor, and she nodded. Victoria approached her and kissed her cheek tenderly and whispered her thanks, "Ready?"

"As we ever will be," Victoria relented.

We walked through the doors and noticed that Trevor was already there. Casey walked in first followed by Noah and Hunter, then Cassidy and Hudson, and we were behind them. Victoria tensed in my arms and I brought my lips to her temple, "Baby, relax. He can't hurt us," I whispered to her skin.

She let up and nodded, "You're right."

We sat behind Casey's desk as I continue to notice Trevor's stare trained between Cassidy and Victoria. I hated he had such view on them but that's how Casey wanted us to sit. Judge Linden entered the room and we all stood and as she sat, we all did too, "Sergeant Benson, when I read the docket I had no idea it was you," she addressed me and I stood.

"It's Lieutenant now, Judge Linden," I mentioned with a smile.

"And, it's that little Noah?" I motioned for Noah to stand up, "Well, he's not so little anymore. You must be what, nine now?"

Noah looked up at me and I smiled, "Eight," he answered, "I'll be nine soon, though Judge Linden."

Judge Linden smiled, "Very polite young man you have there, Lieutenant, you may sit down."

I nodded and sat, rubbing my hands against my pants, "So we're gathered here today because of you Mr. Langan."

Trevor stood and buttoned his jacket, "Yes, Your Honor. I believe, Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson was pregnant with my child and withheld that information from me."

"Ms. Novak?" Judge Linden addressed the redhead.

Casey stood, "Your Honor, may I please call to the stand Dr. Benson."

My wife stood and walked to the witness chair where she was quickly swore in, "Dr. Benson," Casey begun, "when did you meet opposing counsel?"

"Roughly twelve years ago whilst I was in Witness Protection," she answered.

"And the last time you saw him was?"

"Roughly six years ago, when I started at SVU."

"Is that when you had Cassidy?" _What? Casey, what the hell?_

Victoria looked as shocked as I did, "Y—Yes."

"Your Honor, may I bring the child forward?" Casey asked.

Judge Linden nodded and Cassidy glanced at me. I nodded and walked her forward, releasing her hand so that she could walk through the gate. Cassidy immediately went to her mom and Victoria opened her legs to accommodate Cassidy's body, "How did you meet your mom, Cassidy?"

Cassidy looked at Trevor and then at her mother who simply nodded and rubbed her cheek, "I was brought in by my un—Detective Carisi and Sergeant Tutuola after the police raided the house I was in. Mommy and Mama were there. They helped me."

"How old were you when this happened?" Casey asked softly.

"I was six," Cassidy smiled at Casey.

"What happened after that day at the precinct?"

"Mama found placement for me in an all-girl's group home where she visited me weekly and took me out to go see Mommy and Noah," the girl fidgeted with the sleeves of her dress, "But, back then they were Mariel and Livia."

"Do you remember when you were adopted?" Casey asked as she circled her table.

"Yes," Cassidy spoke, "Mama came by the group home and asked me if I'd like to go home forever with her and I said yes. Then she took me to Mommy's apartment where we celebrated with pizza."

"Nothing further, Your Honor."

Trevor immediately stood, "Dr. Reyes-Benson, how long did the adoption take to finalize?"

"Five, maybe six months," my wife answered.

"For a ward of the state?" he rhetorically asked, "Because in the case of Noah Porter, Lieutenant Benson had to foster Noah for a year before she was able to adopt him. So, I wonder, is this all fabricated?"

"It is not," my wife bit back, "As you are very well aware of, Counselor, the FBI handles things a little bit different and usually have better and speedy outcomes than with the State."

"How old are you, Cassidy?" he addressed the girl.

Cassidy looked up at the Judge who nodded silently but not before addressing Langan, "Mr. Langan, tread carefully. This is a child and you're in my courtroom, do not make me charge you with contempt."

Langan nodded and allowed for Cassidy to answer, "I'm eleven."

"And, you're sure no one told you what to say here today?"

"Your Honor, I will not allow for opposing counsel to browbeat an eleven-year-old," Casey stood immediately.

"Your Honor, it is just a question and both parents are present here today and agreed to have her speak on her behalf," Trevor countered.

Victoria was fuming and so was I, if it wasn't for the fact that I had the responsibility to maintain decorum as an officer of the law, Langan would've had a shiner already, "Counselors, enough! I will allow the minor to answer," Judge Linden acquiesced.

I saw as Cassidy deflated and sought her mom's comfort, "I'm sure," she said, but continued before anything else could be said, "But, Mr. Langan, may I ask you a question?"

We all waited. What was going through the head of that child of mines? What was she doing? "Y—Yes, sure."

"Why are you doing this? You have all the proper paperwork, I know because my mom sent them to you through Miss Casey. You saw my birth certificate and I know you read what's on my file," Cassidy was holding his stare and I couldn't have been prouder, "What are you trying to do?"

Langan was at a loss for words. He knew he'd been caught and he knew he'd wasted the court's and the judge's time. What _was_ his end game here? What _was_ he trying to do? Of course we knew this was all façade to overpower and have control over Victoria but what was truly his end game here? A child had called him out—in open court—, my child at that—my little fire engine. Everything was still and quiet as we all waited for Trevor's answer but all he could do was stare at the redhead in front of him. The very first time I've heard Langan so silent and still, "Nothing," he finally said, "I am not trying to do anything."

Cassidy nodded, "So, can I go home now?"

Trevor faltered and sat, rubbing his temple. He nodded and averted his eyes from the rest of us. I saw as Cassidy turned and whispered something to Victoria who snickered and shook her head as she stood, "Your Honor, I move for complete dismissal of these charges effective immediately," Casey spoke.

"Granted. Court is adjourned and you Mr. Langan, I'll see you in chambers in fifteen minutes," Judge Linden spoke and stood quickly.

We all walked out with Casey, Cassidy, and Victoria following closely behind us. Outside, Cassidy ran towards me as I picked her up and flushed her to my body. Victoria hugged Casey tightly and kissed her cheek once more before wrapping Noah in her arms, kissing his curls. I placed Cassidy on the ground, "Baby, what did you mean when you said 'Aunt Lex was right', right about what?"

Cassidy smirked and looked at Noah, "What did you two do?" I asked.

"Cassie was nervous about today and I've heard Aunt Lex and you talk about him before so last night, when you went to bed we called Aunt Lex and asked her what was his weakness," Noah spoke freely, "She said that he couldn't stand a woman in power," he finished with a smile.

Casey, Victoria, and I looked at each other in awe. These kids were too smart for their own good at times, "I'm going to kill Alex when I see her tonight," Casey growled with a smile on her face.

"Another Alexandra Cabot," I spoke softly as Cassidy smiled brightly at me.

* * *

Review, review, review!


	25. Olivia Marsden

_**Olivia Marsden**_

"Do you really have to go in?" I asked, pouting as I watched my wife loop her belt on.

"Unfortunately, I do," she replied, flicking her hair over her shoulder and turning to grab her gun and shield from the bedside drawer, "but this just means that I can put in a request to be off on Monday and maybe convince you to call in and we can stay in bed. All. Day. Long," she husked, approaching me and looping her arms through my waist.

I smiled and bit my lip, "Olivia Margaret Benson you know you're propositioning _and_ blackmailing an FBI agent, that's a Class A misdemeanor," I quipped.

"I'm willing to take those chances if it means I get to bed you," she flirted, leaning forward to claim my lips.

She pulled back and rested her forehead with mine; breathing out the air she had held in. We stood like that, enjoying the other's proximity and the intimacy the embrace provided. Her phone vibrated against her bottom and she groaned, throwing her head back and staring at the ceiling, "Go," I said with a smile, "Be safe, Olivia and please come back to us."

"I will, I promise you that," she mentioned as she released my body.

We walked out of our room together and I called for the kids to come and say goodbye to their mother. They hugged her one by one and in the end we told her that we loved her and that we would, hopefully, see her tomorrow at the latest. It was a cold Saturday morning and Olivia had been called in by Fin saying that they had found twins wandering around Battery Park, naked, beaten, and bloodied and claiming that they had done something wrong in order to escape. This was fixing to be a long weekend but we all had to do what we needed to in order to continue making the streets of New York just a tiny bit better and safer for every child out there. The kids and I sat in the living room, underneath warm blankets, watching movies since the steady fall of the snow had us feeling particularly lazy.

We continued our day underneath blankets and playing games around the house until nighttime fast approached. Olivia had already let me know that they were going to continue to work the case overnight since the twins were cooperating and seemed receptive to their surroundings. She had kept the details to herself but she had shared what was going on with the case, something new and welcomed from her. I made sure everybody was ready for bed and one by one; I visited their rooms, tucking them in and spending more minutes before they drifted into sleep. Sleep for me was going to be a little more difficult to conceive, since I didn't have my wife next to me but I lain on the side of her bed and placed my hands on my swollen stomach, rubbing the stretched skin. The simple act brought me comfort and honestly, I was accustomed to it by now. Olivia couldn't fall asleep if she wasn't pressed against my body and her hand wasn't dancing over my belly so, this was her fault. I tittered and closed my eyes, breathing easily, and focusing on my heartbeat. Before I knew, I was safely wrapped in Morpheus arms.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

My body flew up from the bed, _what the fuck?_ It was five minutes to seven and the kids couldn't have been awake.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

 _Someone's at the door?_ I hopped off the bed and felt the cool hardwood against my feet. I approached my bedroom door and crossed the threshold that led me to the living room and subsequently gave me view down the hall to the kid's room. All of their doors were closed which meant, they were still asleep. I walked towards the door and looked through the peephole, _a teenage girl? This isn't one of Cassidy's friends, she's too big_ , I opened the door and peeked my head, shielding my body behind the sturdy door, "H—Hi," she said, her teeth chattering against her jaw.

"Hello, how can I help you?" I offered.

The girl hugged her waist, rubbing her arms against her sides, "I—Is Olivia home?"

 _Olivia? What do you want with Olivia?_ "I'm sorry, who are you?"

The girl widened her eyes and took a step back, "Oh, umm," she stammered, "this was a mistake. I s—should leave," she said turning.

"No, wait," _what the hell are you doing, Victoria?_ "Olivia's not here at the moment but you're cold and it's snowing outside. Please, come in," I offered, stepping from behind the door.

She eyed me suspiciously but lowered her head and stepped inside. Once in the foyer she took her surroundings in, "Wow, this place is huge!" she said turning to face me and that's when she noticed my swollen belly, "You're pregnant."

I chuckled, "I am," I noticed the girl's blue tinted lips, "Uh, you look to be about my size. How about you sit here and I'll go get you something warm to change into."

"Y—You don't have to," she quickly responded.

"I know, but I want to. I can't let you stay cold, you'll catch something way worse," I finished turning to leave to my room. Inside, I rummaged through my drawers, looking for a pair of fleece leggings. I found a color block, long sleeve jumper, and some socks and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. As I turned, I noticed she was looking at the multiple pictures that decorated our walls, shelves, and tables around the living room. I smiled, "Uh, here," I uttered, handing her the clothes, "There's a bathroom, first door to your right. I'll be waiting for you here…" I trailed off, hinting at the sudden realization that I didn't know this girl's name.

"Oh, Olivia but everyone calls me Via."

I nodded and saw the girl walk towards the bathroom. I huffed and brought my hands to my belly, "Why is she here and why is she looking for Liv, nugget?" I mused, "Is she someone that Mommy helped once? How does she know where we live, though?" I walked through the kitchen, grabbing two mugs from the cabinets and preparing one for hot chocolate and the other for tea.

As I'm submerging my tea bag into my hot water mug, Via returned, "They fit like a glove, thank you," I smiled at the girl, "I didn't know where to put my wet clothes so I hung them on the curtain rod, is—is that ok?"

I nodded, "Here, have a seat," I ushered as I pushed the mug of hot chocolate towards the girl. She sat across from me on one of the bar stools and hugged the mug, taking a careful sip, "How do you know my wife?"

She looked up from the mug with a surprised expression on her face, "Wife? You guys are gay?"

I furrowed my brows and pursed my lips, "Lesbians, but yes, we are."

She coughed slightly, "I—I'm sorry, I just didn't know. That's cool and uh," she averted her eyes momentarily as if she were nervous of something, "my name is Olivia Marsden."

She relinquished that sentence as if it held meaning to her… or me. I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my tea, waiting for the girl to continue, "Marsden, as in Simon Marsden," I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, "Wow," she said, "you really have no idea who I am?"

"I'm sorry but no."

"Olivia is my aunt," she conceded.

I stopped the mug from reaching my lips and placed it atop the surface of the breakfast bar. Olivia has a _brother_? "What?"

Via nodded, "Simon Marsden—my father—is your wife's half-brother. They share the same dad."

"D—Does Olivia _know_ about you?"

Via nodded, "It's the entire reason I am named Olivia, because of her."

"H—How old are you?"

"I'll be fifteen in a couple of months," she said softly.

I nodded and willed my body to slow down. Olivia had a half-brother that I knew nothing about. This woman, this enigmatic woman was filled with many a surprise. At the moment I didn't know whether to be surprised, upset, relieved… my emotions were everywhere and so were my thoughts, _I have a niece!_ As I stared at the milky complexion of Via, I was able to finally place some similarities. The dark hair, the depth of her brown eyes, the shape of the brows… there were similarities and I wondered, does this Simon Marsden resemble my Liv? The soft patter of socked feet made itself known: Noah.

"Mama," Noah chirped.

"Hey sweet boy, come here," I said, stepping from behind the bar, "What are you doing up so early, huh?"

He yawned as he collapsed with my body, his arms circling my belly, "I heard voices, I thought Mommy was back."

"Oh," I said, bringing my hand down to scratch his head, "not yet, baby but soon."

"Who is she?" Noah asked, looking up at me.

Via had a stunned look on her face and I smiled, "This is Via, want to be polite?"

Noah smiled and looked at the girl, "Good morning, I'm Noah."

"Morning," she responded, waving her hand at the boy, "Olivia, but everyone calls me Via."

Noah nodded and went to sit next to the ivory teen, "Omelet with fruit, Noah?"

"I thought eggs made nugget uncomfortable," he relished.

I chuckled, "Only when I have to make them sunny side up," I finished, looking at Via, "Fried eggs make me nauseous, the smell…"

"Oh," she said.

"Do you have any allergies?" I asked.

"I'm allergic to mushrooms," Noah said, looking at the girl, "I'm the only one with food allergies."

"Peanuts, I can eat walnuts and almonds and even cashews but peanuts are not my friend."

"There's a difference between a peanut allergy and a tree nut allergy, Via."

"Yea, my doctor said the same thing, who knew?"

I served Noah some juice and began getting busy in the kitchen with breakfast. Shortly, the boys woke and lastly, Cassidy. I knew as soon as the smell of food permeated the apartment, that they would wake so I had made enough for them when they did. I served them their breakfast and ate with them. Via seemed quiet for the most part but she engaged in conversation whenever a question was directed towards her. Hunter was apprehensive of the girl so he kept his distance but my other three kids seemed at ease around her.

After breakfast, everybody left to the bathroom and their rooms to change and clean their teeth. I used this time to duck in my room momentarily to call Olivia. I didn't know what to say. What _do_ you say when a family member you haven't seen and/or heard from in so long suddenly shows up at your doorstep, unannounced? How do you react when your partner is the one telling you about your secret family member that you somehow neglected to inform them of?

I sighed and waited for the rings to be answered, " _Baby_ ," she mentioned, " _We're wrapping up here and I should be home in ten minutes._ "

I puffed, "Yea, well get your ass here pronto. We have a conversation pending, Olivia."

" _Whoa, slow down. What happened?_ "

I chuckled dryly, "You'll see what happened when you get here."

" _Babe, if I did something wrong why not talk about it now and that way when I get home, we can spend time together. I've missed you and the kids, I don't want to argue once I'm home_ ," she pled.

"I don't think this is something we get to talk about over the phone, Liv," I breathed out, sitting on the bed, "Listen, I don't know if I'm upset or not but we'll figure that out once you're here. I j—just need you here, ok?"

" _Ok, ok, that's fine. Just, tell me something; am I going to sleep in our bed tonight or should I make other arrangements?_ "

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, smiling at my wife's words, "Liv, _when_ have I kicked you out of the bed? That hasn't happened since our first year of marriage."

" _Oh no, you're right. You don't kick me out of the bed, you leave altogether._ "

"I left _once_ and you know why that had to be done," I admonished playfully, "Plus, my understanding was that Noah slept with you that night, so don't even go there."

" _I won't but if it it's any good, I'm already picking up to leave. I'll see you soon, I love you_ ," she offered.

"I love you, too."

It wasn't long before Olivia walked through the doors of our home. The kids had been playing hide-and-seek through the apartment and Via and I were the seekers. I was in search of Hudson, whom I knew had hidden in the pantry. As I'm walking past the foyer, I see her and wink towards her, bringing my forefinger to my lips as I point to the kitchen. Olivia bit the tip of her tongue and smiled, following me to the kitchen and then to the pantry. I placed my hands on the doorknobs and could hear the faint giggling of the boy hiding on the other side of the double doors. I opened the doors, "Gotcha!"

Hudson squealed, "You got me, Mama," he relinquished, running to my legs. He noticed the figure behind me, "Mommy," he yelped, dragging on the last syllable.

At Hudson's admission, the rest of the kids filed out of their hiding places, coming to greet their mother, "Hey monsters, Mama lost again in hide-and-seek?"

Cassidy nodded, "She and Via both lost."

"Via?" Olivia asked, furrowing her brow and looking at me.

I sighed, "Yea, Liv, I think…" I stopped and watched as Via stepped in front of the breakfast bar, her head down and her wavy, silky tresses shielded her face until she pushed one side of them behind her ear with her hand.

Olivia looked at the girl and placed Hudson on the ground, "Who are you?"

"My name is Olivia Marsden," she answered.

Olivia scoffed as she was taken aback, "How did you get here? How did you know where to find me?"

The girl opened her mouth to speak but Olivia was on a rampage, "When did you get here? Did—Did your _father_ put you up to this?"

I recognized the growl in her voice and I stepped forward, placing my palm flat in the middle of her chest, "Hey," I grumbled loudly, snapping her eyes towards me, "Hey," I said softly, raising my brows at her, "Why don't we go to our room and simmer, huh?" I smiled, "You haven't even kissed me hello, yet."

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled, nodding slowly, "Ok."

"Ok?" I parroted, opening my eyes to her.

She nodded and turned to exit the kitchen. She smiled at the kids and tapped Cassidy's nose, causing the girl to giggle, "Why don't you guys keep playing whilst Mommy and I talk in the room?"

"O—Ok," Via stuttered, "Everyone back to their hiding places, except for you Hudson, you can seek with me, deal?"

By the time Hudson offered his answer, Olivia and I had ducked in our room. She sat on the bed and threw her body back against the mattress, groaning and pressing the palms of her hands flush against her eyes, "Why didn't you call me sooner, Tori?"

"And, say what, Olivia?" I responded, climbing the bed and kneeling besides her body, "Liv, your niece—who by the way, I didn't know existed—showed up at the apartment wet and cold, should I let her in or should I leave her outside waiting for you?"

She brought her hands down to her sides, her left hand resting on my knee, "You're right, I'm sorry," she huffed loudly, "I know I should've said something about my half-brother and his family."

"Yea, no shit, Olivia," I bit back with a chuckle, "We've been married for almost four years and you just so happened to omit information from your life that though, may not be relevant to you, is relevant to me."

She opened her eyes slowly, "I found about him by running my DNA through the system back when I was detective and you know could've gotten me fired. He's had problems with the law before and I've even loaned him money to bail him out only to be screwed over by him. Last I saw and knew about him, he wasn't allowed to see Olivia or Ty for three years," she paused, looking in my eyes, "I was alone for most of my life so I kept it that way when he left. Then Noah came in and five years later I met you. You are my life now, Tori. You and the kids, nothing else matters."

I sighed and smiled, "I get it, Liv," I mentioned, grabbing the hand on top of my knee, "but they're still your family and even if you want nothing to do with them, that girl is here for a reason. I reckon it's up to you if you want to prod and find out why she's here and whatever you decide, I'll be here for you," I finished as she came forward to sit.

She sighed, "Alright, I'll talk to her," she said leaning forward and kissing my lips gingerly, "Thank you," she said against my lips, claiming them once more in a lingering lock.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you for the reviews! From this point forward, things are going to get a little weird but stick with me, I have a good plan. ;)


	26. Homicide(s)

_**Homicide(s)**_

" _You won't believe what I have planned for our anniversary next week_ ," said my wife excitedly through the phone.

"I could say the same thing. We're not doing gifts this year, only experiences, correct?"

" _Yes, and Tori, don't try and be sneaky, please. Own up to your part of the bargain too_ ," she tittered.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. I was about to answer when I heard the call-hold beep, "Liv, baby, someone's calling my office line. We'll talk later, ok? I love you," I said, biting my lip.

" _I love you more, talk to you later, sweetheart_ ," she said before hanging up.

"Dr. Reyes-Benson, FBI," I answered.

" _Cabot—Tori, I need your help_ ," came the voice of an overly exhausted Alexandra and it sparked curiosity in me. Why was she calling my office line?

"Lexie, what's going on?"

" _I've spent the better part of the morning attempting to convince your boss to let you help me and he has been so apprehensive, Jesus! Why is he so difficult?_ " she asked rhetorically.

I chuckled, "I'm sure we won't know, but I'm guessing you used that silver-tongue of yours and now you're going to brief me?"

" _No_ ," she said, I furrowed my brow and went to answer before she continued, " _Meet me downstairs, we're going to the two-seven. I'll brief you there._ "

Alex hung up before I could ask any other questions. She had asked me a while back if I could work with Homicide as well but since nothing had been said to me from either her or my superiors, I thought nothing had came out of it, but from the looks of it, today would be the day that I would make my debut as a profiler for the two-seven. I had been too dumbfounded to move and still held the receiver of my phone in my hand when I realized that the walk from the DA's Office to the Bureau literally took about three minutes and knowing the way Alex sounded on the phone, her stride would have power and purpose behind it so she literally could be standing outside in the freezing cold and I'm just sitting here rummaging through my thoughts.

I stood and gathered my knee-length pea coat and threw it on before grabbing my purse. I ran my fingers through my hair as I felt the familiar mid-morning headache and sighed. I stopped as I reached my door and turned around to grab my phone atop my desk, "Pregnancy brain," I mumbled underneath my breath. Downstairs it had been snowing but it had let up. I was standing outside, the wind blowing my hair into my face when I heard the familiar voice of my favorite blonde, "What the hell are you wearing?"

I giggled and turned, "A dress, with tights, and thigh-high boots?"

Alex's mouth hung agape, "Did Olivia see you in this?"

I rolled my eyes and walked to the woman, "She left before I got dressed so please, spare me," I pleaded.

Alex guffawed, "Why do you keep wearing heels, Victoria?"

"I have a headache and I'm craving peanut butter and salami," I grunted, throwing my head back, "God, that sounds so good right now."

Alex giggled and pulled me by the arm, "No, it doesn't but if you say so..."

We hailed a cab to upper Manhattan where the precinct was located and for the majority of the cab ride I kept bothering Alex with my craving until she gave in and made the cabby stop at a deli where she got me my current craving and picked up my common one of sea salt & vinegar chips just in case. In front of the precinct, I paid for the cab fare and we exited. I had stuffed the zip tie bag of salami and the jar of peanut butter in my purse, as well as the chips and as we entered, I had to go pee. Alex just continued on and told me to find her in the bullpen once I was done. I relieved myself and as I'm finding my way back through the busy precinct, I heard the faint shouting fest that was going on.

As I entered the bullpen I focused on the conversation and how four men had teamed up to have a yelling match with their Bureau Chief. I smirked and placed my hands on my swollen stomach and just listened. I needed to get a feel of these men. The 'leader' of the group was the one having the current match with the blonde. She wasn't backing down and I smirked, having been on the opposite side of that stern voice many a time. I noticed Alex had shed her coat and purse on an empty chair and I did the same, placing everything next to hers. I was wearing a cream bodycon long-sleeve dress with a turtleneck, black tights, and over-the-knee grey boots. Being pregnant and having such a hugging and fitting dress awarded my shape appraise.

I noticed a whiteboard with pictures and names and thought that maybe that was the case Alex needed help with. I walked to stand in front of it, still rubbing on my stomach, and taking everything in. It was brutal and disgusting and I thanked the man upstairs for giving me somewhat of an iron stomach when it came to victim's photos, "Uh, ma'am, you're not supposed to see those. Do you need some help?" said a low-pitched voice.

"Three victims," I mused, "is the cause of death the same on all of them?" I asked.

No one answered so I continued to move around the board, "They were bound, choked, and gagged," I mused to myself mostly. I noticed the amount of blood loss and the bruises on the victim's bodies, "Why so much rage, huh? What did these women do to you?"

"Hey!" someone grumbled behind me, causing me to startle momentarily, "I told you, you shouldn't be here."

I ignored the man and continued with the scrutiny of the board when I felt eyes on me, but not just looking at me, checking me out, "Uh, Alex," I begun, "could you tell your detectives, whomever it is, to stop staring at my ass?"

Alex chuckled, " _Boys_ ," she begun, "meet Dr. Victoria Reyes of the FBI. She will be helping with a profile of your Pattern 14 killer."

" _Fuck no, Alex._ "

" _We're not handing this case over_."

I turned around and watched as they instantly became quiet, "You won't be handing anything over, I'm just here to help out Alex."

"Tori, meet Sergeant Chad Bryce," she said motioning to whom I pegged as the leader, "Dt. Austin Todd," a man with dark features waved, "Dt. Josh Perry," an albino man nodded, "and last but not least, Dt. Adam Hendricks," a brunette man with a red beard smiled, slowly approaching me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Reyes," Hendricks said, extending his arm.

"Likewise," I responded, extending my hand, "So, could someone please brief me?" I said, opening my eyes and smiling.

"Pattern 14 killer," began Perry, "three vics between the ages of thirty-three to thirty-six. Like you said, Doc, victims were gagged, bound, and choked but they didn't die of that. Cause of death, single gunshot wound to the head. He gags them first, then he chokes them, and then he binds them and proceeds to brutally beat them up. Perp has left his DNA in all three crime scenes."

"He spits on them once he's done," said Todd with a thick Brooklyn accent.

"No familial hits on CoDIS?" I asked, rubbing on my swell.

"You think if we had a familial DNA match you'd be here?" bit back the Sergeant.

I smiled, "I'd be here even if you _had_ your perp sitting in the box already so please, save your dick-flinging contest for someone who cares, _Sergeant_."

Alex snickered and hid her face at my comment, "Care to tell her the newest development, Bryce?"

He gritted his jaw and stared me down, "The ME finished with the autopsy reports on these women, they were several weeks pregnant. All of them were."

His statement caused me to falter. I could immediately feel all the blood leave my body and the pitching ring in my ears intensify. I held my left hand to my forehead and felt hands around my waist: Perry's arms, "You ok there, Doc?"

"Tori," said Alex, cupping my face with her hands, "do you need to sit down?"

I smiled weakly, "Yes, sorry; side-effects of being fifteen weeks pregnant."

"Do you need us to call your husband?" said Sergeant Bryce.

"I don't have a husband," I chuckled as I sat.

The men looked at each other, "B—But you have a ring and you're pregnant," mentioned Todd.

I chuckled and shook my head, "Yes, I am married but I have a _wife_. I'm sure you know her but when working with the NYPD, I omit my married name."

"W—We know her?" Hendricks asked, "There's Reyes from the two-two but she's not gay, not that I know of."

"Benson," Alex said, "That's her married name, not Reyes."

" _You_ are Olivia's wife?" Bryce said and I nodded, "Wow!"

"Enough about my married life, guys," I said, crossing my legs on the chair, "And, no; you do not need to call Olivia. I'm fine."

The men nodded and Perry took over once more, "They weren't showing, as you could obviously tell but their partners knew."

"Have you questioned the boyfriends since this new development? Because, they failed to mentioned their girlfriends were pregnant when we initially questioned them," Alex seethed.

"Yea, Alex, we did. They said that they were so distraught that they forgot," Hendricks shot back.

"What drives a man to kill a pregnant woman?" Todd mused.

"This may sound crude, Detective but motives may vary, with a woman's pregnancy at the time of death sometimes being coincidental," I responded, "So, that's how you should look at this."

"What do you mean, Tori?" Alex asked.

"Maybe the fact that they were pregnant has nothing to do with the fact that they're now dead. If they weren't showing, the killer may not have even known that they were pregnant," I mused and turned to look at the board, "Is there anything that links these women together?"

The detectives and their sergeant looked at each other, shaking their heads, "Not that we know of. One lived in Harlem, the other in Chelsea, and the other in Hell's Kitchen."

I furrowed my brow, "Shouldn't that have gone to the guys in the two-four?"

Hendricks chuckled, popping a chip into his mouth, "I see Benson has taught you a lot."

"I work for the FBI, I know who has jurisdiction over what part in this borough, Detective Hendricks. Don't patronize me," I responded curtly.

"We caught the case in Harlem first and when the second one happened, they handed it to us, and once the third one happened; they really wanted nothing to do with it," Perry quickly said.

I sighed and looked at the board, standing and walking towards it as I fixed the short skirt of the dress. This carried a lot of rage. It was really bloody and messy. All of them were. This wasn't an expert; this was an amateur, someone who was acting on impulse rather than on method. And, just as much rage as it carried, you could see the hints of resentment and hurt in every blow. These women, these soon-to-be-mothers had hurt this man but in a way that had affected his ego. This was hard. I was swimming blindly. The team was withholding information and I knew it, I could feel it. Something wasn't right, "What links these women, guys?" I asked, turning around, "Either you're not telling me something or…"

"Or what, _Doctor_?" Bryce hissed.

"Were there any violent ex-boyfriends?"

I saw as Hendricks and Perry took a step forward to say something but a sudden glare from their Sergeant stopped them in their tracks, "We know how to do our jobs."

"Really?" I sarcastically asked, "Because, you've done nothing but stonewall me ever since I stepped foot in this precinct. Understand something, Sergeant," I said, taking a step forward, "you don't have to like me because my loyalty is not to you or the NYPD. My loyalty is to the victims so; give me what I need and stop fucking around. It might work better in your favor since you hate having me here so much," I finished with a smile.

"Bryce, knock it off," Alex growled, "I'm giving your team and you the courtesy of briefing her on your own. I know you don't tell me everything and you hate that it's me here instead of Brian but deal with it, alright?"

"Fine," he mumbled, "Austin, give the doctor all of the statements."

Todd stood and rummaged through desks, handing me several files. I had a feeling that Bryce had an issue with other people telling him what to do, especially if the other people were women. My guess, that's why he became a sergeant in the first place, he could have autonomy over his cases and pick out his own team. In the forty-five minutes or so that I had been there, I hadn't seen the commanding officer of the unit and another gut feeling and guess told me, whomever they were, they trusted Bryce and I had no doubt in my mind that he was amazing at his job.

I walked back to the desk I'd been sitting at and began reading with Alex over the files and statements taken from family members, the current boyfriends, friends, co-workers, and neighbors about the lives of our victims and in every other statement they kept mentioning how happy they had been that they had finally moved on from 'that toxic relationship', "Umm, Perry," I called out the overly blonde man across from me.

"Yes Dr. Benson," he said sweetly, looking over a file.

"Did you guys ever looked into this toxic relationship that is mentioned by the families of the victims?" I asked.

Perry looked up, his eyebrow knit in confusion, "Uh, no. For victim one—Carissa Lane—that relationship had ended over ten years ago, for victim two—Lorraine Kominsky—the relationship ended roughly five years ago, and victim three—Louise Cox—she was the most recent, the relationship ended about a year and a half ago."

"Ok," I said nodding, "did you find anything on Louise's relationship?"

"No, because that would mean t—" he interrupted himself, following my train of thought.

I had been playing my cards close to the vest, as per usual, because of the apprehension the team showed but if I was to get in, Perry or Hendricks would be my best shot, and I was right. Perry immediately stood, walking to Hendricks' desk, "Adam, Adam," he called.

"What?" he answered, not looking up from his file.

"Did you get the name of the vics three ex-boyfriend?" Perry asked in a rush.

By now, Bryce and Todd had stood and gathered around us, "What the hell is going on?" Todd asked.

"I think the Doc just figured something out. It may be a reach, but I don't know, my gut is telling me otherwise," Perry responded.

"Maybe you have to take a shit," Hendricks quipped, earning his self a slap to the back of the head by Bryce.

"What is it?" Bryce asked.

"Hendricks, the fucking name for Christ's sake," Perry ushered, motioning with his hands.

As Hendricks shuffled for his notes, the rest of the team anxiously waited. We all saw as he moved files, opened drawers, and finally raking his hands through his face he remembered, "Damian," he shouted, "Uh, Damian Lindworsky."

Alex shuffled with the file in her hands and found the connection with Carissa and then Todd looked up, "They all dated the same guy."

Bryce ran his hands over his face and looked at me as I smiled and nodded towards him, "Alex," he tried.

Before Alex could speak, I quickly interrupted, "Congratulations gentlemen, you have a hedonist lust killer in your hands."

I saw as Alex pushed her self from the desk and I went back to the board. I could hear the men debating with Alex for a warrant to search his apartment, to search his financials, a warrant for something to get moving with the investigation and that's when I saw it. How could I not notice this before? How could the ME not notice this? Was a rape kit even performed on these women? Fuck. "Guys," I turned abruptly, making myself momentarily dizzy.

"What now?" Todd said, noting my dead face.

"Alex, this is wrong. We were all wrong," I admitted.

"What the hell are you talking about, Victoria," she chided, approaching me.

I turned and pealed several pictures from the board and as I faced her, I handed the photographs of bruises between their thighs that looked like handprints. I saw as the blonde woman went through an array of emotions, not believing what I was saying even when the evidence lain right there in her hands. Her nostrils flared and she removed her glasses in haste, "They were raped. This is an SVU case, Lex."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know the Via situation is "up in the air" but trust me guys, stick with me. Also, review, review, review! :)


	27. Heartbeat

_**Heartbeat**_

(Olivia's POV)

Tori had left early to drop off the big kids at their school. We had already begun our vacation, since our anniversary was at the end of the week. We had each taken ten days off to enjoy our anniversary and whilst now we were taking a stay-cation, by the end of the week we would be traveling up to East Hampton to a B&B and we had each planned a romantic bit for our anniversary evening. Needless to say, we were both excited, but she had left me to ready the twins for a doctor's appointment.

We were going to see Dr. St. Hilaire for Victoria's sixteen-week check up. I had found out, through some gentle prodding and attempt of not letting her see the hurt in my eyes when she had that six week check-up and was able to hear our child's heartbeat that in fact, she hadn't even want to look at the sonogram or even hear the baby's heartbeat because she felt as if she was cheating me of a shared experience. If I didn't love her then, I loved her even more at that moment. We both got to experience our baby's heartbeat together and we got to see our little Nugget in action, and the twins got to see their brother or sister in their mom's stomach.

I was in our room changing when I heard the boys yell out her name. It didn't matter that they had just seen her about thirty minutes ago; they were always so excited to see her or me walk through the door. I smiled and finished tying my heeled boots, April was in its beginning stages but we still received flurry falls here and there, and the cold hadn't let up whatsoever. As I exited our room, I saw Hunter sitting atop the breakfast bar and Hudson sitting on his mom's hip. My heart nearly dropped and I felt my stomach clench with that sudden pull of arousal. My wife, my enticing, wanton wife was wearing an all-black ensemble. She knew what all black did to me. And, honestly, she couldn't have looked more like a stemme in what she was wearing because it wasn't physically possible.

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck, standing a few feet away from her, watching her turn. She was wearing a knitted long sleeve black jumper and her sleeves pushed up to her elbows, black skinny jeggings, Timberland ankle boots, her hair pulled into a high ponytail, and she had a gold watch on her left wrist, "You look like a stemme, Tori."

She threw her head back and laughed heartily, her grey eyes sparkling, "I knew you were going to say that," she paused, shaking her head, "I look very New York, though."

"Very New York and very gay, too," I tittered.

She shook her head and smiled, "These two eat?"

I nodded, "Mommy give us nana pa-cakes," Hudson said, smiling at his mom.

At the mention of bananas, I saw her turn green. She brought her right hand to her mouth and I rushed to her side to grab Hudson from her grasp, watching her nearly sprint to the other side of the bar to empty her stomach contents into our sink, "Mama," Hunter husked, his gravelly voice filled with concern.

Tori opened the faucet, letting the water wash away her emesis, "I'm ok, bug," she soothed; taking some of the running water into her mouth and spitting it back out.

Hudson hugged my neck and hid his face and whimpered, no doubt feeling guilty for his mother nauseous bout. I brought my left hand to his back and patted it in support, "Oh, bean," I said breathily. Victoria now rested against the counter, her hands on her swell, uttering something inaudible to me, "It's ok, sweetheart," I said, rubbing circles on his back, "It's ok."

She noticed Hudson in distress and walked towards him, picking up Hunter on her way over, "Huddles, baby, look at me," she coaxed the boy, having him oblige, "I'm ok."

"I sorry, Mama," he said, lifting his head from my shoulder.

"Liv," she asked and I turned around, "swap?"

I smiled and opened my arm to have Hunter hop on my body, "Go with Mama, bean."

The boy stretched and I saw as Victoria took him effortlessly in her arms, "Baby, I'm really ok. It's just; Nugget sometimes doesn't make Mama feel good. It wasn't your fault, _corazón_."

Hudson wiped at his face and leaned forward, hugging his mom's neck as Victoria moved her face to kiss the boy's hair, stepping closer to me to kiss Hunter's cheek, "Ok, time to go or otherwise, we'll be late for the appointment."

I saw her nod and we all walked towards the foyer, placing the boys on the ground to have them slip their bubble jackets. Victoria handed me my bubble jacket and she slipped her black one on as well, smiling at me with a rogue glint in her eyes. I scoffed and shook my head, stepping close to her and placing a kiss on her cheek. We exited the apartment and made our way down to the underground garage. I watched as Victoria settled the boys in their car seats, buckling their boosters, and tickling their bellies. I settled on the driver's side and waited for my wife. As I'm exiting the garage, I see Tori rummaging through the diaper bag that we had repurposed to fit snacks for the kids. I snickered and shook my head as I heard her grunt in annoyance.

"Liv, could we stop somewhere?" she asked.

I turned my head with a confused look on my face, "Feeling nauseous again?" she shook her head and smiled, "What is it, baby?"

"I want chocolate pudding… and cheese," she admitted, biting her lip.

"Chocolate pudding and cheese," I parroted, moving my eyes frantically between the road in front of us and her. She nodded and looked down at her lap, gnawing at her bottom lip. I snickered and turned at the next intersection, "Pudding and cheese, who would've thought," I said, maneuvering the steering wheel to turn and park against the sidewalk.

"Olivia," she warned.

"Hey, it's weird but I'm not eating it so, I don't care," I said between laughs.

"I made you try my cheese, peanut butter, and raspberry jam on a bagel a few days ago," she said softly, rummaging her purse for her wallet.

"No, you tricked me Victoria Thalia Paige, it's different," I replied, shaking my index in the air.

She unbuckled and turned to open the door, "You be grateful we have the kids with us, otherwise, that backseat always looks inviting," she said lowly, her voice warm with that lower octave and that glistening grey stare.

I gasped softly and parted my mouth as I watched her get out of the SUV, leaving me swimming with desire. As she threw the door behind her, I lowered my head and chuckled, lifting it just in time to watch her disappear inside the bodega. Christ, that woman and her power to make me feel like putty in her hands. I smiled and bit my lip, looking over my shoulders to look at the twins. Hudson was mumbling the words to the song currently playing on the station and Hunter was looking at me with a knowing smile and I couldn't help but blush. That boy and his ability to pick up on the slightest of things; all of our children were really receptive, especially when it came to each other or us but Hunter, it was something else. Heightened, just like his mom.

I couldn't help but wonder what would our new addition be like. What traits of Tori would he or she have, what traits could I instill in him or her. Would they be witty like Noah, sassy like Cassidy, quiet like Hunter, or outspoken like Hudson? Would they look like Tori or the donor? Would they look my mother? Would they look like me? I'd gone from being Olivia Benson—Badass Benson—to Momma Benson in a span of a couple of months after rescuing Noah from the trafficking ring and five years after, I had met the love of my life and become mother of two shortly thereafter. I became a wife, something I didn't picture happening for me, not at my age anyways.

And, even though Tori never cared for my age, or my scars, the story of my conceiving… she made me feel like none of that stuff mattered. Only I did. The Olivia I had become, the Olivia she met was the only one that mattered in her book. Not the Olivia that thought she had killed her mother after kicking and sending her flying across the room. Not the Olivia that had self-destructed with men and women over the years. Not the Olivia that was assaulted in the basement of a filthy women's prison. ' _I love you for who you are not for who you were_ ' she'd said and I appreciated that.

"Liv!"

"What?" I said softly.

"Baby," she said, knitting her brow and reaching over the console to grab my jean-clad thigh, "I've been calling your name for a minute now, are you ok? Do you want me to drive?"

I smiled and shook my head, leaning over and capturing her lips slowly, "I'm ok, baby. I was just thinking."

"Thinking?" she said, looking at me sideways, "Every time you think I end up pregnant, sore, or mildly regretting letting you do whatever it is the kids have convinced you to do," she giggled and the action alone made my heart swell.

I laughed, "I've never heard you complain before, Mrs. Benson."

"That's Mrs. Dr. Benson," she quipped, smiling, "And, I never will complain, Liv. Actually, I have a lot of fun when you _think_. Whether it's being pregnant, yelling at you and the kids for leaving my living room with nerf darts everywhere, or just being sore; I have fun."

I scoffed and shook my head, putting the SUV in drive and leaving the curb, "Your thinking scares me too, Victoria," I mumbled under my breath, knowing that when she thought, I was ready to receive an earful from her.

"Oh," she said, feigning hurt, "that's hurtful."

* * *

I placed my hand atop her bouncing knee, "You're making me anxious," I admitted breathily.

She sighed and shook her head, bringing her hands to hide her face, "I'm sorry, Liv. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's not like I haven't done this before, right? We went through this with the twins and I've been to ultrasounds before, but this is the first one with you and this time is different because we get to hear the baby's heartbeat. Though, technically, I could've heard it a long time ago, I refused to do it. I wanted t—"

My lips crashed to hers, stopping her nervous rambling and assuaging her nerves, "You're rambling, baby," I said, resting my forehead against hers.

She sighed and smiled, "I'm sorry. You know how much I hate being this office though."

"I know," I said, leaning back, "but we're finally going to see our kid."

"Mommy, we see Nugget, too?" Hudson asked.

"Yes, buddy. You'll see Nugget too," I answered with a smile.

"Mama," Hunter asked, stepping in between his mom's legs and resting his little hands on her stomach, "Nugget ok, he sleeping now."

Tori looked at me and wrapped her arms around our son, too shocked for words, "Benson," called out the nurse.

We stood and walked towards the door, greeting Lorna and settling in the exam room. The boys seemed fascinated by everything in the room and were asking all types of questions about the equipment and what exactly would happen once Nugget was displayed on the screen. Their curiosity and excitement was put to a halt when Dr. St. Hilaire walked through the door, "Hello Benson family," he boomed through the small room, "I see you two have grown a lot."

The boys stared at their mom and I with confused looks, "Dr. St. Hilaire was the one that helped Mama make sure you guys were ok and healthy when you were in here," Tori offered, motioning to her stomach.

"You make Nugget ok?" Hudson asked.

"Yes buddy, I'll make sure Nugget is ok," Hudson gave a boyish smile and nodded, "All right, Victoria," he motioned for her to climb on the exam bed and proceed to lift her shirt for the conductive gel to be placed.

"Oh, that's cold," Tori offered.

"I know, I hate it too," he said, chuckling, "Your weight is on track, though, you're still underweight compared to other women by this time. No signs of gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, which is always good," he said, moving around the room, gathering everything he needed, "Are we finding out gender?"

I looked at Tori, "No," she answered, "we do want to know if we're having multiples again, though."

Dr. St. Hilaire chuckled, "Yes, that might be a good idea instead of waiting for birth day, don't you think, Olivia?"

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck, "Yea, I don't think I can handle that type of news the day of."

"Ok, let's begin," he said, snapping his gloves on.

"Boys," I called out for the twins, "come here, you can sit next to Mama if you're really still, ok?"

The boys nodded and came crashing at my legs, bending I picked them up one-by-one and sat them next to Victoria. The boys knelt next to their mom and waited patiently for the image to appear on the screen. I was excited. I couldn't wait to hear my son or daughter's heartbeat fill the room or see them on the screen in front of me. My hands were down each of the boys' chest, providing comfort for both them and me when I felt nimble fingers at Hunter's chest surround mine. I looked down at her face and saw all the concern that was housed in her eyes. I knew why she was looking at me that way, we had spoken about this briefly before the appointment today and though, I'd reassured her, she was still doubtful.

By the time Victoria was sixteen weeks pregnant with the twins, she had been feeling them move around and kick since the week prior but with this pregnancy, everything was throwing her for a loop. She had more food aversions than an appetite and when she did have an appetite it was for bizarre combinations like, salami and peanut butter or cheese and chocolate pudding. She was afraid she wasn't providing the necessary nutrients to our child and she was scared that the baby was suffering her 'indifference' as she liked to call it. I stared continuously at those grey eyes, holding her gaze, wordlessly reassuring her that everything was going to be ok. I sighed and leaned forward to capture her lips, slowly stripping her bare of any insecurity or concern, "Nugget is ok," I said, planting a soft kiss to her lips, "Stop worrying," I finished, delivering another soft kiss to her lips.

She sighed and smiled, nodding softly, "Are you ready, Victoria?" Dr. St Hilaire asked.

"I am," she conceded, clutching my hand.

The doctor smeared the gel with the wand and turned on the machine, stopping and pressing the wand in different areas until he found the angle he had been looking for, "Look boys," he addressed our children, "these are the baby's ribs."

They boys gasped simultaneously, "Look Mommy, is Nugget!" Hudson yelled excitedly.

My eyes watered at the sight, "I know, bean!"

"Mama, Nugget look like me," Hunter offered as Dr. St. Hilaire adjusted the screen to have different angles.

Tori chuckled, "You're siblings, of course Nugget looks like you."

"Here we go moms," Dr. St. Hilaire interrupted, "Benson baby number five, say hi Nugget."

Tori squeezed my fingers and brought her left hand to her mouth. Her eyes had watered but had not wavered from the screen, "Hey baby," I said, turning to look at the screen and magically witnessing as our little bundle moved inside of her, wiggling its legs.

Tori grunted, "Jesus, that was powerful."

"You felt that?" I asked excitedly.

A tear escaped her eyes as she nodded, "Only for you," she said.

I scoffed playfully and shook my head, "So now it's my fault that Nugget kicked you?"

"No, Nugget no. No kicking Mama, that's not nice," Hunter chided carefully.

We saw as the little image on the screen moved and settled, mimicking a thumb-sucking motion, "Look Mommy, he sucking on finger. A-tie Lexie says that's yuck," Hudson offered.

Victoria and I laughed, shaking our heads. We had heard the pronoun 'he' twice today from both of the boys and I chanced a glance to Victoria whom was smiling mischievously, "Looks like they know something we don't," she uttered.

"Ha, that's an understatement," I replied, delivering a gentle squeeze.

"Moms want to hear baby's heartbeat?" the doctor asked, receiving a nod from the both of us.

This was it, the moment of truth, the one we had patiently and anxiously had been waiting for, the sound of life. I don't know what it was with hearing that sound that brought comfort in me, it reassured me, gave me hope. And, as I stood here, looking into my wife's expectant eyes, life filled the room and I gasped.

This was how love sounded.

* * *

 **A/N:** Little fluff piece before name discussion and anniversary smut. After that, things will get tough so be warned. Also, thank you all for the reviews and continuous support, I truly do smile harder when I read your feedback. :)


	28. Pillow Talk

_**Pillow Talk**_

We had woken early to get the kids ready for their seven days out with Alex and Casey. Ever since the two attorneys had begun dating, they were inseparable and the kids seemed content with their aunt Lexie dating their favorite prankster Casey. It was an odd pairing, but they made a beautiful couple and seeing Alex so carefree made my heart soar. They had already been by our home and after collecting the kids, a few bump rubs, and kisses they had all dispersed and disappeared for their day of fun.

I decided to prepare breakfast for Olivia and I. It was rare that we got to enjoy a kidless weekend and I was on a mission to make the most of it. As I was getting ready to plate everything for us, I felt her arms snake though my midsection and land carefully on my swell. She pressed her body to mines and I melted in her touch. I rested my head on her shoulder and brought my free hand to rest on one of hers. It was several heartbeats later and she had our bodies swaying side-to-side.

She hummed her contentment and pressed her lips against my bare shoulder, "Pregnant," kiss, "Barefoot," kiss, "And, in the kitchen. I know of a few men that would love to have you like this," she chuckled as she pressed her lips to my jaw.

I swatted her thigh with the spatula in my hand, "Olivia," I admonished playfully, "such a romantic, huh?" I finished, turning my head and pressing our lips together.

"Why is it that when you're pregnant, I want you more than before?" she asked, stepping aside and reaching for the bacon.

I snickered and shook my head, "You mean, _I_ want you at every passing hour?" I raised my eyebrow, noticing the sparkle in her eye.

She took a bite of the bacon strip, "You're right, you do," she said as she winked, "Breakfast in bed?"

I nodded and yawned, "We're hungry over here, you know."

She tittered and leaned her hip against the counter, "When's your next appointment, baby?"

"Uh," I stopped my work and looked upwards, "Tuesday after the next at nine," I mused, grabbing the pan and scraping its contents onto the plates. "We still want the gender or genders a secret, yes?"

Olivia nodded and smiled once I handed her a plate and glass of juice, "Are we discussing names now?"

"After breakfast, baby."

We walked to our room and each entered on our designated side. There was a lot we needed to discuss, including a new home, a name for the baby, trust, godparents, time off from work, and the hard stuff that I knew she hated discussing, but still needed to be addressed. We ate in comfortable silence, sneaking kisses; some chaste and others searing. We shared glances and smiles, coy and suggestive touches and caresses; as well as musing our love for each other and whispering sweet nothings into the other's ear. Once done we settled down, shifting and resting our bodies flat, pressed so close together that air couldn't fit through; as a habit, Olivia lain on my chest, her left arm circling around my waist, and her hand occasionally rubbing my bump.

"Liv, if anything happens to me during birth—"

"Victoria, please," she warned.

"Baby, I know you don't want to talk about that—I don't want to talk about it, but we have to, ok? Please, let's just get it out of the way and it won't be brought up any longer," I bargained with her. She paused in thought and nodded her head, "If anything happens to me during birth, I want you to remember that you can do this. It'll seem difficult at first but I know you, Olivia. You're a fighter, a survivor, and you have a great support system surrounding you," she snuggled closer and sighed, "If you're asked to make a decision between my life or the baby's… you'll know what to do when the time comes. I won't hold anything against you, I promise you that," I smiled and rubbed her back, "You're free to move on, Olivia, but don't you dare bring a fucking sleaze into my home and in the lives of my children or I'll make sure that all of them give you hell during their teenage years," she laughed loud and hearty, rubbing my bump, "And, please, always remember that I love you. No matter what."

She sighed and hummed, "I love you too, baby," she said, turning her head to kiss my chest.

We were quiet for a moment, letting the heaviness of the topic settle and dissipate on its own, "You know we have to move into a bigger place," she uttered.

"Yea, I've been looking on my free time. I would really like to stay on this side of the park, but if push comes to shove, I won't mind crossing over to the east side. What about you? Do you want to stay uptown or what are other areas of your liking?" I asked, snaking my fingers in her hair and gently raking them along her scalp.

She hummed at my ministrations, "That feels nice. No, let's stay uptown for the kids and their schools. Plus, both Alex and Casey are up here, your parents too. I'm closer to the precinct and Lucy lives in Harlem, she's close by. Any preference in homes?"

"No townhomes, Olivia. I know you're dying to live in one, but I hate the idea of being separated by floors," I breathed out quickly, "Papa already knows to leave you the brownstone in his will."

"Tori," she shouted, stifling laughter, "he did _not_."

"Did too, Liv. I told him that you weren't going to take any money, but you fantasized about living in a brownstone since you were a little girl, so, congratulations. The day my father dies you get the $35M Neo English Brownstone in the heart of Madison Avenue," I finished, tittering at what her reaction would be.

She sighed and lifted her head, bringing her lips to mine in two quick kisses that turned into one slow, lung burning, and fire raising kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," I smiled as I got lost into her eyes, pushing some unruly curls behind her ear.

"Ok," she said, smiling and settling on my chest, "no townhomes; only one floor apartments. I know it has to have a breakfast bar or island for breakfast with the kids," she mused to herself mostly, "I don't want anything but to make you happy, all I ask, is to not live so close to your parents if we do end up on the other side."

I laughed, "Oh, trust me, I'll make sure of that."

"Do we still want Alex for the godmother and Carisi for the godfather?" she asked, rubbing my belly in a full motion.

"I was thinking about that," I cleared my throat, "how about we have both Alex and Casey as the godparents?"

I waited for Olivia's reaction, "No godfather? I mean, I don't have one either but," she trailed off. I knew the idea sounded crazy, I don't believe it had been done anyways but this was our last child, might as well, right? "I know that if anything were to happen to us, Alex and Casey would step up, just like Sonny would too. And, you know the idea of having them all together and know they're being well taken care of puts me at ease. So, yes, we can ask them once we return."

"Good, good. Oh, before my pregnancy brain allows me to forget, my parents already set up Nugget's trust. They all do which, if used wisely, should last them until they're eighty," I mentioned to Olivia. I knew she was going to blow a gasket, but that was family money and assets that were to be passed down and since Vienna had no children and the only care she needed was her medical facility and medication, everything else was left to my children and I. The Reyes' fortune ran deep and it had been managed correctly and carefully over the years in order to continue our legacy.

"Tori, what?"

"Olivia," I sighed, closing my eyes, "just… ask."

"How much money does your family have?" she didn't hesitate to ask. After nearly six years together, she hadn't inquired about the family money and how it came to be.

" _Our_ family, baby, has a lot of money. We started as welders in Spain and then began branching out both in Europe and then here in the US. Then through marriage we came upon wineries, which the best—in my opinion—are the ones that we have in the outskirts of Spain. There are some here too, in Colorado, California, Oregon, and New York. We have the foundation and mother's connection in the arts. And, we can't forget the restaurants that papa co-owns. A lot of the old buildings here in New York were built by members of the Reyes family, Liv; it does help that we're great judges of character when it comes to marrying our spouses," I quipped, earning myself a pinch on the side, "We marry because we're in love, not because it'll be a good financial move. Yes, there have been great gains through some of these marriages, but mostly, it's out of love," I finished, raking my nails through her scalp.

"Wow," she mused, "Your parents did good in grounding you, though."

"It is taught to us that we have what we have because someone, long ago, fought to start a legacy. They fought to make the Reyes' name matter. Not only in Spain, but wherever it was that our endeavor took us. We always had a choice, either we take advantage of what was given to us and continue to watch it grow or waste it in simple things, faults of the flesh. It is up to us, now, to teach that to our children."

Olivia sighed, "God, I love you," she chuckled, "I think we're doing some good to the Reyes name, don't you think?"

"No," I said, causing Olivia to raise her head, her brow knitted in confusion, "we're Benson's. We're doing some good to the Benson name," I mentioned softly, caressing her cheek.

She smiled and leaned on my hand, turning her face quickly to plant a kiss there. She rested once more against my chest and cuddled what was physically closer to my body, "Have you thought about names?"

"Mhmm, if it's a girl, I want her to have Serena as one of the middle names," I mused and felt Olivia's smile on my skin, "And, if it's a boy, I want him to have Oliver as one of the middle names."

"Baby," she whispered, hiding her face in my chest, "why?"

"I love you, Olivia, that's why."

"I still like Christiana for a girl," Olivia mused.

I pondered and smiled, "Christiana Serena Madison."

Olivia's head shot up and her eyes quickly met mine, "Madison?"

"My mother's middle name is Matilda. Madison is derived from the name Matilda or Matthew."

"Christiana Serena Madison," Olivia tasted and tested the name on her lips, she savored it; she tried it a few times before she smiled and spoke, "I love it!"

I chuckled and reached to land my lips on hers, "Good."

"You know how when you were pregnant with the boys you told me that your first crush was a girl with the name Bailey and that's why Hudson has that as a middle name?" I hummed in approval, "Well, my first crush was my downstairs neighbor, James. He was so hot, Tori. I was thirteen and he was eighteen," she grunted, "he was a bad boy."

"Easy there, Liv; you're married, remember? And, your _pregnant wife_ does not appreciate you grunting at some eighteen-year-old ruffian from your past," I smirked and removed my hands from her body, feeling her move to sit up.

"You're jealous?" she said with an amused grin.

I crossed my arms against my chest and looked down my nose, "No," I grumbled.

She laughed heartily, "You're my wife, Victoria, I know you more than you know yourself. You're jealous. Of my downstairs neighbor of so, so long ago," she finished, stifling her laughter.

"Yea, go ahead and make it a joke, Olivia," I mentioned, pushing myself up with my arms, resting on our headboard, my hands landing on my stomach, rubbing at my swollen belly, "When I spoke about Bailey, I kept it respectful, unlike you with your grunting," my hormones had taken over and had turned this into an issue when it had started as some gentle teasing from my part, but pregnancy hormones had taken over and it was spiraling quick.

Olivia bit her lip and leaned forward to kiss me. I quickly turned my face to avoid her lips and she growled low in her throat, placing one hand behind my neck and the other pinched my cheeks, turning my face to meet hers, "Don't deny me a kiss when I know you're dying for one," she husked, curling her fingers in my hair, giving her hand a light tug.

I moaned and gasped at the dominance display, feeling a surge of arousal course through my body. She knew exactly what to do to make me submit and she would bend my will at her expense, lovingly starting a fall that only she could complete and eradicate, "Liv," I panted.

"Oh," she said, smiling devilishly, "on your terms is ok, but not on mine?" she teased.

I nodded and looked up at her, seeing that brown stare swimming with desire and I moved my hands to her chest, delivering a slight squeeze. Olivia closed her eyes and purred, crashing her lips with mine.

My hands moved to Olivia's hair, raking my fingers through her scalp, I fisted Olivia's hair, giving a gentle pull, hearing her groan, and I smiled into the kiss. She bit my lip hellishly, sucking it into her mouth, "Jesus, Liv," I breathed out once she released my lip, "You're forgiven, baby," I said, flicking my tongue on her bottom lip.

She tittered, "I never needed it, did I?"

I shook my head, "No, but I don't appreciate you _grunting_ at the thought of your exes, Olivia Margaret," I chided playfully.

She raised her hands in front of her in defeat, smiling at me, "I'm glad we have an understanding, Liv," I winked at and smiled.

"Can we get back to the names, Victoria?"

"We can."

She connected our lips once more, "Let me just say, it didn't last long, he moved away. God, I missed staring at him in those Levi's…"

A shudder ran down my spine at the sound of the name. It felt right. It was right. That was to be the name of our child if it were a boy, "Levi Oliver James."

Olivia looked dumbfounded and could only stare, "Levi Oliver James," I repeated.

"Baby," she begun, smiling, "is that the name we're choosing if it's a boy?"

I nodded and smirked.

Olivia moved and straddled my lap carefully, leaning forward to bring our lips together. Slowly, her tongue searched my mouth, pouring everything she had in that kiss, "Let me show my _pregnant_ _wife_ how much the ruffian from downstairs never mattered to me," she whispered against my lips, a devilish smirk playing at her mouth.

* * *

 **A/N:** I received a message not too long ago asking how exactly was Victoria so wealthy so here the answer. Also, I hear you guys with Olivia Marsden, I haven't forgotten. Let me get through the anniversaries and we can set a plot and I'll bring her back, just don't hate me when it's not what you expected. ;)


	29. Happy Anniversary, Tori!

**WARNING:** Sexual content and language ahead. Proceed with caution.

* * *

 _ **Happy Anniversary, Tori!**_

The day we had been waiting for was finally here, our anniversary. It had been a most beautiful year next to my wife, but if I was honest, in the five years of being married to this amazing woman I had learned a lot about myself. I had learned how to love in a complete different way, I learned that Olivia had the power to drive me completely insane and not in the cute way that every one thinks or in the sexual way that some might expect. No, she truly had the power to place me in a mental institution right next to Vienna.

There had been times in our marriage that I wanted nothing to do with her and I knew she felt the same way too; I'm no walk in the park and neither is she. Living with someone can exhaust even _the_ most unwavering love. It's completely fine to crave individuality and space, to crave time apart. In fact, I think it's healthy and sometimes necessary. I mean, come on, there's nothing more exciting then not having seen your wife in three days or not be on the same schedule and then all of a sudden, she's fucking you against a wall and making love to you in the bathtub.

The most important lesson I'd learned in the first five years of being married to Olivia was that I had to learn to let the little shit go. Nothing would get my motors going than when Olivia would place the milk jug back in the refrigerator with less than a finger of milk inside it or when she wouldn't tighten the soda bottle enough and all the carbonation would dissipate and now all you had was flavored water.

And, at the same time, stuff that I found to be minute and completely dumb to get upset about, like when I would leave my shoes by the door or when I would leave half-empty tea mugs everywhere would grind the life out of Olivia. We had to _learn_ how to let those little things go so that, as a couple, we could tackle the bigger issues together. However, we would still vent to each other about it and now, tease each other about it too. It came with the territory, but it's what you do. In the name of love and for the sake of spending the rest of your life with that person, that's what you did.

We had driven three hours to East Hampton to a Bed & Breakfast that Olivia had chosen. We had agreed that each year, one of us would choose the location of our anniversary and since I had chosen the destination of our honeymoon, that first year she got to choose our anniversary location. We had arrived and had lunch at one of the local restaurants that Olivia had most gracefully picked and had set out a gastronomic experience that I quite enjoyed and afterwards, I had set out time before our dates tonight to spend getting facials, something I knew how much Olivia loved. Her olive skin and beautiful complexion was always vibrant, but after a facial, it was like she was a new woman. Her skin would glisten and shimmer and I just loved the feel of her skin under my fingertips, so soft and supple… God, Olivia!

"Baby," she shouted as she approached me.

"Huh," I replied.

She snickered, "I'm done, that felt amazing. I feel so renewed," she mused as she extended her arm to help me stand.

Her procedure had taken two hours, but mine had only taken an hour and a half so I was sat in the waiting area, "Yea," I smiled, looping my arms around her waist, "well, you know what I want to do to you," I husked, leaning forward to ghost my lips against hers.

She hummed and placed her hands behind my neck, "Is this why you send me to spas and to get facials? To build up your libido?"

I giggled, "You will never know the reason, I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself," she smiled, "Let me go pay," I mentioned, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss to her lips.

Olivia nodded and sighed contently as we turned towards the counter.

The girls behind the desk looked green at our brief display, "So, separate checks?"

"Uh, no," I responded, "together. She had the Ultimate Rejuvenation and I had the Red Carpet Infusion," I said as I handed her my Amex.

The girl looked taken aback, "You are a very nice friend," she said curtly.

I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Olivia who was smirking at me, "I'd like to think so, don't you _baby_?"

Olivia snickered, "The _best-est_ friend ever," she said walking forward to claim my lips.

I brought my left hand to her neck, cupping her face gently and at the same time, flashing my wedding set to the clerk.

Olivia rested her forehead against mines and I hummed, running my thumb across her cheekbone, "I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," she replied, placing another soft kiss to my lips.

The girl cleared her throat, "Sign here, Ms.—"

"Mrs. Benson," I responded, grabbing the pen and signing my name, retrieving my card from the woman.

As we turned and walked out of the shop Olivia and I couldn't help but break out in laughter. Back in the city we would encounter our occasional homophobe, but not as often as when we were out of town. This was the Hamptons though, home of the vacation and a coveted spot for the gays and the successful. We always handled it like so if we were on our own but with the kids, we had to be careful. Neither Olivia or I wanted to do or say something that may upset them, otherwise we were left to pick up the pieces and explain why people looked at us the way they did or treated us differently than other families. To them, we were as normal as anybody else but to others, our family was a rarity, an oddity… It was tough at times but we handled it well each and every time.

We had left Alex and Casey our Suburban and we had taken Alex's BMW sedan with us, "Baby, do you want to drive back to the B&B? I hate driving Alex's space car," Olivia asked.

I laughed, "Yes, I will," I answered as she handed me the keys. We entered on opposite sides and we were on our way to the B&B which was only a ten minute drive, "So, we have about an hour or so before we need to start getting ready for your date," I begun.

She smiled and rested her head against the headrest, "Yes, I hope you love what I have prepared for you and I hope that Nugget doesn't give you any trouble tonight," she said, reaching over to place her palm against my stomach.

Immediately, almost instantaneously, I felt a flutter of kicks against her hand, "Nugget seems most active when you're around, Liv," I offered, turning quickly to look at her.

She was biting her lip in amusement, "Nugget, baby, Mama's driving."

I felt another surge of movement, "Easy there, baby," I said as I brought my hand down to my stomach.

"I love you, Tori."

I smiled and bit my lip, "I love you too, Liv."

We arrived shortly after to the B&B and parked in a spot close to the entrance. We quickly exited the sedan and made our way to our room which housed a spacious king sized bed, much like in our home. I climbed the bed effortlessly and shed my shoes, leaning back against the pillows. I felt the bed dip next to me and I opened my eyes just to find my wife's beautiful face hovering over mine. She smiled and leaned forward, touching her lips with mine. It was slow and sensual and I could feel my body reacting to her slow manipulation.

I could feel Olivia's hand trail my hips and up my sides slowly until she reached my breast, giving it a gentle squeeze, and I moaned. She pushed against my mouth, making our teeth click suddenly. I pushed my tongue into her mouth, searching for her own to meld in this rapid fire. Olivia climbed my hips, careful of my belly, and my hands flew to her hips, slowly snaking to her backside and delivering a powerful squeeze to her ass cheeks. Our tongues continue to probe the other's mouth, exploring the velvety feel of her walls, and the smoothness of her teeth. I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, gently nibbling it, "Tori," she whispered, pulling back.

Her mouth found my pulse point, her tongue licking my skin, preparing it for the burn of her teeth and the pull of her mouth, "Olivia," I said breathily, craning my neck to the opposite side, giving my wife the leverage and space she needed.

My hand crept up her spine and ended at the back of her neck, my fingers disappearing in that silky head of hair. The other rose only to disappear inside the waistband of her jeans where I gripped on warm flesh, hearing her mewls against my skin. With every suck I could feel my stomach clench, with every lick I could feel the throb between my legs, and with every nip my breath would dissipate. Her lips moved to trail down my jawline, gently nibbling until they reached my lips where she captured my mouth in a searing kiss. I was out of breath. I had forgotten how to breathe, but I held on for her. When she finally pulled back, I was swimming in arousal. My entire body was tingling, my hands were shaking, and I felt like I was floating. I felt the peppering of her lips against my face and I opened my eyes, "Welcome back, baby," she smiled.

I smiled maniacally as I slowly felt the cool sensation of air reaching my lungs, "Liv," I whispered.

"I'm here, sweetheart," she cooed, kissing my lips softly.

I moved my arms to tuck her hair behind her ears, "You're going to kill me," I said, panting.

Olivia chuckled, "I would never do that to you, Tori. I need you in my life."

I tittered and shook my head, "I'm glad you know that because I need you in mine, too."

We stared at each other longingly, smiling like idiots at one another. Without this woman, where would I be? Without her love, would I exist? Olivia loved to say that because of me she had things she never thought of having well, without her, I'd still be Mariel Marti. I'd still be living in the shadows. I wouldn't have rekindled with Alex, I wouldn't have my kids—none of my kids, and I wouldn't know happiness. Olivia had _literally_ given me my life back; I owed my life to her. I felt the tears well and fall as I closed my eyes and I smiled. Her hands were immediately at my face, wiping away at the fallen tears, "Baby?"

I shook my head, "I'm ok," it came out as a mere squeak.

I felt Olivia move on top of me, "Sit up, Tori," she commanded of me and I opened my eyes, noticing that Olivia had sat back against my thighs, allowing me to sit up, "Did I hurt you? Is something wrong?"

I shook my head and smiled, grabbing at her hands and placing them on my swell, "Olivia, you say that I gave you a family, that I gave you all of these things that you never thought of having, things that you never imagined having," she knitted her brow and nodded, "But, what about what you've given me?"

"Tori," she tried, scoffing and her closing her eyes.

"No, Liv, listen. Without you, I would still be Mariel Marti. I'd still be living in Brooklyn, alone. I would've never found Alex or have kids, Liv," I choked on my words and I felt her hands move atop my stomach, "I wouldn't have _our_ kids, Olivia. You gave me the chance and opportunity to be Victoria again and I never said a proper thank you for it, Liv."

"Tori, stop, please," Olivia, mumbled quickly, her voice faltering.

"I'll never stop, Olivia," I said, shaking my head, smiling, "I'll never stop showing how thankful I am to you, I'll never stop loving you, Liv."

Olivia's tears had been threatening to fall, but she held on to them and smiled, "You don't have to thank me, Victoria. We were meant to be, babe."

I nodded and we leaned forward, pressing our lips together, "Can we take a nap? I'm tired," I said, yawning.

"Really?" Olivia laughed, "All of that to tell me you're sleepy?"

I hovered my lips over hers; "I'll make it worth your while tonight, _Lieutenant_."

Olivia gasped, parting her mouth, "And, if I say no?" she replied, a rogue smile on her lips.

"I'll still take a nap and still make it worth your while tonight," I answered, smiling.

She snickered and moved to hop off my legs. I leaned back to rest against the pillows, feeling how Olivia settled next to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, snuggling closer as she found a comfortable position next to me.

* * *

"Baby, you ready?" Olivia said, fixing her knee length cherry dress.

"I am," I said, watching her turn around to reveal her completed ensemble. Olivia was wearing a cherry sleeveless knee length dress, her hair in loose waves, and her make up was done lightly as recommended by our aesthetician.

"Olivia, baby, you look beautiful. How come you don't wear red often?"

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled bashfully, "I don't know babe, I just prefer other colors," she mentioned, taking a step towards me, "You though," she said pointing at me, "look absolutely breathtaking."

I laughed and slowly turned around, giving Olivia a show and view of my ass. I was wearing a light grey midi length bodycon dress with cap sleeves and had paired it with cobalt suede ankle strap heels, "Thank you," I shot over my shoulder.

Olivia scoffed playfully and shook her head, "Let's go, we'll be late."

I smirked and bit my lip, reaching the bed to grab at my cobalt coat.

We exited the room and made our way to the sedan. Olivia had kept quiet, real quiet on what exactly was her 'present' for the night. All that she had hinted was that she hoped that Nugget behaved. We drove for roughly thirty minutes and arrived somewhere in Montauk. The place was rustic and as we exited the sedan, an older gentleman met us at the steps, "Olivia," he said as we came up the steps.

"Malcolm," she replied, letting go of my hand to wrap her arms around his waist.

"I haven't seen you in what, ten years?" he said, holding her at arm's length.

"Something like that," she said, chuckling, "Malcolm, this is my wife, Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson. Baby, this is Malcolm de la Court."

I extended my arm and smiled, "It's a pleasure, Malcolm."

He smiled with his eyes and grabbed my hand, "Likewise, and let me just say, you're glowing, Dr. Benson."

"Please, call me Victoria," I replied with a smile, "How'd you two meet?"

"Well, Alex and this one used to come here during summer and Christmas to stay at her mother's beach house a couple of minutes from here," he responded.

"Cabot?"

He nodded, "You know each other?"

"Yes, we're childhood friends and she's the godmother of our children."

He chuckled, "Oh Olivia," he mentioned to my brunette lover, "you are something else."

Olivia blushed, "Stop, can we go inside now? I'm freezing and hungry."

Olivia grabbed my hand and followed Malcolm. The restaurant was slightly crowded but as we continued to pass table after table, I noticed that we were not dining in the main dining hall. The restaurant had two floors and we were making way up the spiral staircase. Upstairs, the people continued. Light, scattered chatter, banter, and waiters and cooks were walking briskly but carefully through the dining hall. Again, we didn't stop at any of the empty tables but we continued towards the back where a secluded staircase could be seen at the back. It had a gold velvet rope from each of its posts. We saw as Malcolm undid the latch and allowed us to walk in front of him. Olivia smiled at me and urged me to walk in front of her. I climbed the set and arrived in an open area that had some stools, a bar, and a stove top with sink and two vertical ovens. In the other corner it housed a huge side-by-side fridge and an open flame pizza oven with fireplace combination.

"Liv," I said as I caught my breath.

Olivia hid her face and smiled bashfully, "Ladies, you have everything you need for your meal tonight. The knives have been sharpened, the fireplace will burn for at least four hours before needing more wood so, don't worry about getting cold in the middle of your experience. Oh, there's a vegan charcuterie board prepared—on the house. Olivia mentioned your apprehension over uncooked meats," he motioned to his stomach, making note of my own food aversions, "Olivia, y—you still remember how to work the open flame?"

"Uh, yes. Thank you, Malcolm," she said, pressing her hands together in a praying matter.

"It's always my pleasure," he said, bowing, "Victoria, enjoy your experience with the Lieutenant."

With that, he turned and left, "You sneaky little sap," I said, walking towards her and slapping her playfully on her hip, "This is beautiful, Liv. Thank you."

"Oh, don't thank me yet. We have to cook, come on."

Olivia turned around and grabbed my hand, ushering me towards the bar, which had a built in cutting board. We shrugged off our coats and rested them against one of the stools around us. Olivia walked to the fridge and fetched curated meats that had been pre-seasoned and placed them inside the oven that I just happened to notice had already been pre-heated. She brought out the ingredients and walked them over to where I was standing, "I hope you don't have texture problems with this, Tori."

"Risotto?" I hummed, "Uh, no. I had lunch with Alex a week ago and that's what I ate. I was craving it, actually," I finished, reaching for the charcuterie plate in front of me.

"So, we're going to make a three cheese risotto and I already have the meats in the oven since you're heightened nose wouldn't have been able to handle that. And, for dessert," she trailed off with a smirk, "we're making maca truffle balls with a pomegranate center."

"Maca?" I asked with a smirk.

She nodded and grabbed a knife, "Come on, let's get to it."

We were chopping away at everything, eating from the charcuterie plate, and reminiscing of our earlier years in the marriage. Where everything appeared to be easier, but now we understood that the easiest part or parts were yet to come. Olivia and I seldom cooked together, but when we did, it was usually something quick. Something that didn't require a lot of movement through our kitchen and one of us would usually be preparing our salad or pre-meal whilst the other would be finishing the meal itself. We never took the time or had the opportunity to share such an… _intimate_ moment with the other. Cooking with someone else requires communication, just like in a great relationship. It had also given us a chance to really _be_ with each other. I don't know _what_ it was, but tonight, Olivia looked good, felt good, and smelled divine. Maybe it was a mixture of pheromones and my overly sensitive libido that had me eyeing Olivia like she was part of the meal we were fixing to eat.

I giggled and looked down to the plate in my hands, "What's so funny?" she said, handing me a plate with food, exchanging the empty one instead.

I shook my head and raised my head, "Just thinking how much of a hornball I've become with this pregnancy."

Olivia laughed heartily, "Is that your way of romancing me, _Mrs. Dr. Benson_?"

I scoffed and walked to the island, taking my seat, "I have my ways of romancing you differently, _Mrs. Benson_."

Olivia giggled, "Not with your silver-tongue you won't."

I nudged her shoulder, "I'm starving!"

We fell into companionable silence and though we were eating the exact same thing, we couldn't stop each other from sharing what was in our plates. I refrained from Olivia's steak though, like a true carnivore, she enjoyed her meats in the medium-rare spectrum and though I enjoyed them slightly undercooked, Nugget preferred them fully cooked, no blood at sight. I finished before her and turned on my stool, "Liv," I husked.

She took a big bite of her food and washed it down with some wine, turning on her stool to face me. She placed her hands on my thighs and ran her hands up and down, "Tori," she said, flicking her head to push her hair behind her shoulders.

I tittered, "Thank you for this, baby. How come we don't cook together at home?"

Olivia laughed and I furrowed my brow, "The kitchen is your thing, Tori," I gaped my mouth and slapped her knee, "Ouch, Victoria. Abuse!"

"Whatever, Olivia."

"No baby, I don't mean it that way. Cooking is your thing, _baking_ is mine. Plus, I enjoy watching you in the kitchen. You're always so at ease. It's like you float and disappear when you're in it. I don't know what it is, but I _truly_ see your happiness when you're in there. Like, that one time," she paused, "Noah was feeling a little under the weather, Cassidy was _just_ coming out from an ear infection, and I had stayed home because of food poisoning and I exited the room. You were in the kitchen with Hunter on your hip and you were singing with him," she stopped and smiled, "We were all feeling like shit, treating you like shit, being unbearable, but there you were: happy, at ease, like nothing else was going on. The only things that mattered were you and that little boy on your hip."

My eyes had welled with tears listening to Olivia describe that moment. I remembered it well and yes, I was happy. I had forgotten for a couple of minutes all of the insufferable things that were going on around me and I was thankful that Hudson had remained asleep. Hunter and I were just happy to be cooking for his siblings and mother; it was our way of making them feel better. I smiled and captured her mouth in a kiss, "I love you, Olivia."

She hummed and stood, pulling me up with her, "I love you too, Victoria," she said, walking me back to a point that I was leaning against the island with Olivia between my legs, "Now, let me show you how much," she finished, quickly diving in and capturing my lips with hers, knocking the air out of my body.

Olivia's hands traveled my lower body, circling my waist to where she reached my ass cheeks and squeezed. I moaned into her mouth and broke the kiss, taking in that shot of air that I couldn't before she possessed my mouth. Her kissing didn't stop there though, it continued down my jawline and to the base of my neck where she sunk her teeth on that sweet spot that she never missed. I groaned and gasped, attempting to keep my eyes open, but her mouth was sucking and biting at the spot. We were out. In a public restaurant, with patrons downstairs, and the owner could return at any given moment, "Olivia," I finally mustered out in a breathy whimper.

She hummed against my skin but continued moving her mouth down my neck to my collarbone, "Baby," I husked, bringing my hands to her head and having my fingers get lost in her hair, "We're in public."

She giggled throatily, "That hasn't stopped us before, has it?" she asked, bringing her fingers to the hem of my dress and pushing it upwards.

I moaned, throwing my head back and giggling, "No, but," I panted, "here?"

Her mouth continued south, to the top of my swollen breasts where she placed a ginger kiss, and spoke softly against my skin, "Just… enjoy the ride, baby. No one is interrupting us, you can trust me on that."

I closed my fist into her hair and tugged, urging her to continue. She hiked my dress up to rest it above my swollen belly. The jersey fabric held right and she cupped my ass, lifting me gently. My head was swimming and once I felt my feet leave the ground, I squealed and giggled, feeling Olivia place me atop the island. I threw my head back, willing my hair to follow behind my shoulders, "You look so beautiful, Tori," she mused, running her hands up and down my thighs.

I smirked and lulled my eyes, "You don't look half bad yourself."

Her mouth parted and she smiled, "Don't look at me that way, Victoria," I raised my brows, feigning knowledge, " _That_ way, stop!" she pinched my ass cheek and I laughed.

Olivia moved her hands to the waistband of my cheeky underwear and pulled them down past my thighs and down my legs. She moved calculatedly in between my legs, moving her hands at a leisure pace, careful not to touch my most needy place at the moment. If I could smell my own arousal, I knew Olivia was reveling in it. She smiled and bit her lip seductively, running her hands down my inguinal, ghosting her thumbs down my glistening lips.

The sensuous feel of her touch against my skin caused me to moan and arch my back, "Please," I begged pathetically. Olivia chuckled and shook her head, lowering her head slightly to gently blow cool air up and down my slit. I could feel the clench of my stomach, the wave after wave of arousal and moisture collecting in between my legs, and she had yet to do something remotely provocative to my body. She moved her hands to push my thighs apart and I moaned at her dominance. There she was, standing in between my legs, a pinkish hue to her cheeks and nose, a light sheet of sweat over her brow, and the prominent dilation of her pupils and I could've come undone by just that sight alone.

Olivia moved her right hand to hover over my juncture, sliding her fore and middle finger down my sodden center, making audible the sound of my desire, "Jesus, fuck," she exclaimed, repeating the same motion once more.

"Blasphemy has never sounded so enticing, Liv," I purred seductively, moving my hips slowly against her hand.

She hummed and chuckled, shaking her head slightly. She moved her trained stare from in between my legs to my eyes, biting her lips, and lowering her head to bring her lips to my core. Her tongue darted out to taste my nectar and I moaned, feeling her lap from my entrance to my bundle of nerves where she closed her mouth to entrap it in her velvety home, flicking it mercilessly, eliciting the most heinous profanities out of my mouth. I could feel the curl of her smile and I bit my lip, "Cocky cop," I barked at her, hearing her chuckle before I threw my head back in pleasure.

"Oh, you have no idea," she responded, her voice an octave lower than normal.

Her tongue continued to lap ferociously at my center, moving and alternating speeds and pressure, "Fuck me, Olivia," I moaned, closing my eyes.

She hummed throatily, moving her mouth to nibble at my lips and I hissed. She pulled me closer to her, running her tongue flat against my apex, lapping at the wetness and quenching her thirst with my nectar. At the cusp of my sex, she smacked her lips against me, moaning at my taste. Olivia was truly devouring me and I wanted nothing else than for her to put me out of my misery. She always knew what to do to me. How to have me at her mercy and I knew better than to hope for a quick release, she wanted me to beg, "Please, please, please," I chanted, moving my body to rest against one of my elbows as I ran my left hand through my hair.

She lifted her head, running her thumb against my swollen nub, "Please what, baby?"

I groaned, closing my eyes, "Fuck me, please," I mewled.

She pinched my nub and I gasped, opening my eyes to find Olivia smirking devilishly at me. I smirked and bit my lip, watching her lick the same fore and middle finger she had ran up and down my sex to imitate sex with her mouth. My mouth parted at the teasing my wife was enjoying showing me. Her fingers were now glistening with her saliva and she ran them up and down my slit and pushed them inside me without warning. I gasped and closed my eyes, "Yes!"

She was pumping her hand inside of me, groaning in delight at the feel of my insides against her fingers, "You taste so fucking good and you feel just as amazing," she mused huskily, curling her fingers forward to massage that coveted spot.

I moaned her name and rocked my hips against her hand, "Eager, aren't we?" she asked seductively, moving her left arm to rest against my pelvis, stopping my movements against her.

"Liv, please," I husked, panting.

She slowed down her hand and was only her fingers against my engorged spot. I could feel my legs tremble and I knew she could too. I moaned quite loudly and threw my head back once I felt the familiar clench of my stomach. Olivia lowered her head against my core and sucked my clitoris in her mouth, gently sliding her bottom teeth against it. The tandem of her fingers and her mouth brought forth my fall.

I gasped loudly, "Livia!" I exclaimed, feeling my body shake and convulse and at the same moment, the swift movement of her hand pumping inside of me. I pushed my pelvis upwards and moved my arm to further prop my upper body up, knocking something down behind me. Olivia was forcing a second orgasm out of me and my body welcomed it, but not before claiming my air supply and slowly succumbing me into deep abyss.

She slowly brought me back, lapping at my core, her hands moving freely up and down my thighs. My breathing was erratic and I could hear and feel my heart beating furiously against my chest cavity. I hissed and recoiled at the sensitivity between my legs when she slowly stopped, peppering kisses from my mound to my enlarged belly. I moved my hands to search for her face, but I felt weighted down and I smiled, humming at the feel good sensation coursing through my body. Olivia continued caressing my skin and ghosting her lips against my stomach, when I was finally able to move my arms. Pushing her hair behind her ear she spoke against the skin of my belly, "Happy Anniversary, Tori."

* * *

 **A/N:** There would be a continuation for this chapter in Olivia's POV. As always, thank you for the reviews! Also, be forewarned, after that chapter, rough and weird times ahead, just be warned :)


	30. Happy Anniversary, Olivia!

_**Happy Anniversary, Olivia!**_

(Olivia's POV)

We had driven back to the bed and breakfast and upon entering our room I noticed that someone had been there whilst we had gone out. There were candles lit and soft tunes were playing, there was a tray resting on one of the bedside tables with three glasses of wine and an assortment of chocolates and cheeses left out. I smiled and turned to train my stare at her behind me. I moved slowly through the room, noticing the little details: the flower petals, the sweet scent that lingered, the dimmed lights… the setting was a romantic view and as I approached the bed, I ran my fingers through the cool fabric of the bedspread.

Being married to this wonderful human being had been the most amazing five years of my life, thus far. It had not been leisure walk at the park, but every argument, every smile, every frustrating moment had most definitely been worth it. I nearly waited all my life to feel the way I felt at the moment, happy, loved, and safe. Of course, bringing Noah into my life—specifically at _that_ point in my life—was amazing and I carried great gratitude for the little boy who had made me a mother, who taught me so much, who helped me realized that there was no greater joy in life than being loved unconditionally and blindly. But, having a partner in life who brought upon you the same amount of love and happiness as a child could was a blessing and something to truly cherish.

I'd learned so much in being married, in being in a relationship, period. Money _truly_ a hot-button issue in a committed relationship and whilst I had gone through that in my relationship with Alex, I could truly see and understand the meaning behind it all now. Victoria came from wealth and I was just but a mere commoner, but she didn't see me as such. I had married her and by law, what was hers was now mine, even if I didn't want it.

Our biggest fights had been over spending too much on a bottle of wine, or a well-deserved vacation. It's not like she spent money blindly, no; it was me in my own insecurity and though Victoria loved a good bargain, she also loved treating herself and those of whom she loved the most because _we_ could. I'd also learned that though there had been times were we had cried, nearly been done with the presence of each other, it had presented me with a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry one when I had been _done_ with everything that surrounded me.

When you find someone who drives you insane, who brings out the ugly in you, but manages to turn your frown upside down; you have truly found _the one_. And, I'd found that, in my precious Victoria. So in five years, I've learned that nothing can prepare you for how tough marriage is, but love will make it worthwhile. I hadn't noticed because I had been too vested in my thoughts, but she had managed to strip down to her underwear and bare feet and was now standing behind a chair from the small dining room set that the room provided. I smiled at the rogue smirk my wife sported and at the beautiful protruding belly filled with so much love, so much baby love, "Join me, my love," she spoke softly, running her hands over the back of the chair.

I stood and approached her, feeling her wrap her arms around my waist, my own finding their way to her neck. She kissed me twice and smiled, "You take such good care of us, Olivia," her velvety voice tugged at my heart strings and I knew that whatever she was about to say next, was bound to have me in tears, "It's my turn to make you feel the same."

I chuckled softly, "You _do_ take amazing care of us, too. It's a partnership, you're always saying that."

She shrugged and tittered, "True, but I still want to care of you right now."

I shook my head and smiled. I sighed when I felt her hands traveling up my back to find my zipper. She dragged it down slowly, keeping tabs of my ragged breathing. She helped me out of my dress and placed a kiss over my heart, "Sit, and take off your shoes. I would do so, but first of all, your kid doesn't allow me to bend and second of all, I know I'll never hear the end of it if I even attempt to do so, so…" she tittered and bit her lip coquettishly.

"Damn skippy," I quipped, sitting on the chair and doing as instructed.

She circled the chair and waited until I was sat straight on the chair before she begun speaking again, "I know how much you love a good wine," she said whilst I nodded, "and I know that we've spoken about the wineries our family owns. So, for your gift, Liv, I searched and purchased three wines that I know are from one of our vineyards. Both in Spain and here in the US."

I arched my brows and smiled, "So I get a private tasting with the owner of these wineries?"

"Oh," she husked, crossing her leg over my lap to sit on my thighs, "you'll get more than just a tasting from the owner, you can count on that," she finished, whispering against my lips. Her lips found mine and we were quickly transitioned to another place. We existed only in love; her and I, nothing else mattered at the moment.

My hands caressed her supple body and I moaned when I felt her hands through my hair. Parting from the kiss, we smiled, resting our foreheads together. She leaned back on my thighs and reached for the first glass of wine, "This is a California Riesling. I know you don't like white that much, but I promise this one will make you change your mind."

She handed me the glass and allowed me to take a sip. I hummed at the acidity, "Oh, that's strong," I said, chuckling.

She giggled and nodded, "Ok, try it with this," she mentioned, handing me a cube of cheese.

I took a bite and chewed calculatedly, taking a sip of the wine. Now the acidity of the wine paired with the sweetness of the cheese made for a better contrast, "Oh, this is much, _much_ better," I mentioned, taking another sip of the bitter liquid, "What is that, Swiss?"

Tori nodded and smiled.

"Here, let's add this to the mix," she said, reaching and taking a bite of the piece of white chocolate and handing it over to me.

I did as I did with the cheese and felt her lips on my neck; slowly taking a bite of my flesh as I chewed on the sweet chocolate she had given me. I moaned as I felt her tongue lap and soothe where she had bit and my free hand found way to her hip and to her backside where I delivered a squeeze, "Tori," I mewled, craning my head to the side to give her more access to my neck.

Her hands roamed freely down my torso, squeezing at my breasts and grinding against my body. She continued to bite and kiss at my neck, her hands leaving no skin untouched, and by that alone she had me on overdrive. Only she could do that. I don't know if it was the mixture of the wine, the chocolate, and the cheese, but the feel of everything she was doing and then some was too much to bear. She brought her lips up my jaw and to my lips as she tugged at my hair. She released my lips and smiled down on me, "Ready for the next one?"

I huffed and laughed, "D—Did you spike my drink?"

Victoria laughed heartily, "I would _never_ do that you, Olivia. And, no, all these pairings are an aphrodisiac experience. Maybe I should blame you, you were the one that wanted to make maca truffle balls with pomegranate, _Olivia_."

I laughed loudly and shook my head slowly, "I'll share the blame."

She bit her lip and reached to the bedside table to hand me another glass, exchanging it for the one in my hands, "This is a Port, you'll love this one."

I took the glass and took a sip, humming in delight at the mixture of fruits and licorice, "Baby, this is _really_ good," I mentioned.

"I knew you'd love it, did you get the spicy aftertaste?" she asked as I took another sip.

"You know, now that you mention it, I can taste it," she leaned and handed me a cube of cheddar cheese, "Yes, my favorite."

She giggled and shook her head, "I know, you and your love for cheddar. You and Hunter will be the demise of cheese drawer."

I tittered as I sipped and nibbled at the cheese cubs at the bedside table, "What can I say? I love the finer things in life," I finished with a wink. She giggled and reached for the bedside, parting the piece of chocolate in half, "You're not supposed to be eating that, baby."

She deflated on my lap, "Please, I've been doing so good. It's not for me, anyways."

I sighed and nodded, taking a sip of my glass of wine. She used this moment to again roam my body with her hands, touching me wantonly.

My hands clawed at her underwear and she used her hands to swat me away, "You've had your fun, Liv. It's my turn," she mumbled lowly. She leaned forward to kiss me quickly just as I felt her arms circle to my back. She undid my bra clasp and I helped her ease it out of my shoulders. She immediately grabbed a hold of my breast and lapped at it feverishly. I moaned as I felt her teeth around my nipple and as she paid attention to my breasts her hands were inside my panties. She touched in tandem and the feel of wine through my veins, the maca truffles, and all the sensations she was giving me had me swimming in desire. I moaned throatily, careful of my glass of wine, and I panted as she played with my button.

"Tori," I moaned, feeling her attack my neck viciously. She grinded on my lap, taking in deep breaths as her wrist moved inside my underwear. She moved her hand up and down inside them, moving her fingers along my slit, gathering my wetness in her palm. Every move she made served as torture and I was close to my demise. She circled my nub with her fingers and I gasped once she applied pressure, bringing me closer to the edge.

"Finish your wine," she whispered against my skin.

I shook my head and swallowed hard, "I—I can't," I grunted, feeling her increase the pace of her hand, "Please, Tori, please," I mumbled, tilting my pelvis so that her hand could move freely.

She tittered softly, "No, you're going to spill it. Finish it, Olivia."

I moved my head, growling as I captured her lips. Bossy Tori was my favorite Tori and I aimed to please. I interrupted our lip lock and shot back the little wine that was left in the glass and she wasted no time in swirling her hand against my bundle of nerves. I moaned loudly and when she delivered that tiny pinch, my body jolted and my head fell forward to land at her chest. She continued to touch, easing me back, and aiding my fall, "Beautiful," she mused in a whisper.

I panted and anchored my chin to pepper kisses against her sternum, "What are you doing to me?"

"The same thing you do to me," she answered with a giggle, "I'm loving you."

I laughed softly and leaned backwards, swallowing in an attempt to bring moisture to my mouth. She eased her hand out of my underwear and sucked at her fingers coated in my arousal, humming in delight. My mouth was parted as I watched my wife relish in the taste of my desire. She must've notice the change in my breathing when she leaned in to capture my mouth in a searing kiss, moving her tongue against mine. All I could do was moan and pull at her hips. I wanted to feel more of her, touch more of her, _have_ more of her, but she wasn't done with me. I knew she wasn't done with me. And, so I succumbed and acquiesced to my wife's love.

"Last one," she said breathily, huffing softly at the feel of air in her lungs. She reached over to the table once more and grabbed another glass of red. This one, though, wasn't filled heavily as the others were, but maybe because the bowl was bigger? "This one, Liv, is the pièce de résistance. This one is a little strong and you don't have a lot, but I need you to make it last, deal?"

I nodded and bit my lip, smiling as she handed me the glass and allowed me to take a sip. This one was heavier than the previous ones and the taste was bolder than the others as well. It was spicy, but sweet; kind of like the Port, but softer as well. It was different, "What is this? There's so much taste."

Victoria nodded, "It's a Zinfandel, I want you to try it with blue cheese," I scrunched my face in disgust, causing her to throw her head back in laughter, "Have I ever steered you wrong?" she inquired, staring at me with that mesmerizing grey stare.

"No, no you have not," I said simply, taking the blue cheese from her. I was surprised once I took the sip of the wine, the bitterness of the cheese counteracted the subtle sweetness of the wine and I hummed. It was an odd pairing, to say the least, but it worked. It reminded me of us; I was the cheese and she was the wine. Alone, people loved us, but paired up, we were an unstoppable delight and I smiled at the example that I had created in my head.

"You like it, don't you?" I nodded and continued to munch on the odd pairing, "It reminds me of us."

I opened my eyes and swallowed, "I was just thinking that."

"Great minds _do_ think alike," she finished with a wink, reaching to the bedside table to hand me a piece of chocolate.

I thought it was milk chocolate and then I tasted the bitterness of it, "Ugh, dark chocolate," I said, shaking my head.

"Try it with the wine."

I did and just like the cheese had counteracted the sweetness of the wine, the wine counteracted the bitterness of the chocolate, "Jesus, how?"

I knew how, I knew how things worked. It was like eating grapes and cheese together, some found it disgusting, but they worked miraculously well. She giggled and ran her hands through my hair, releasing a gust of air through her nose. I recognized that behavior, she was turned on, and she was ready for a release, she needed it. I smirked and finished my wine, handing her the glass. She took it and when she turned, I had found my way to her neck, attacking it viciously. She moaned loudly when my teeth found her sweet spot, right behind the joint, "Liv," she husked, tugging at my tresses.

This was supposed to be for me, but how could I deny her? How could I stop myself from touching her? From kissing and biting her? I hadn't been able to resist her in the near eight years that I'd known her and I wasn't sure that I could start now. My hands found way to her back where I quickly undid her bra clasp. I heard her sigh at the relief of the pressure it was creating on her chest and she shuddered. I moved my mouth down her neck and over her collarbone, bringing the garment down her arms where I found a taut nipple. I was surprised she had let me continue with the torture, but maybe that was part of her plan, to let me have my fun and just when I thought I had the upper hand she would pull the rug right from underneath me.

My tongue lapped at her nipple, my teeth nibbling ever so gently at her sensitive breasts. Hearing her moan, hearing her curse, hearing my name sound so seductive on her lips urged me on as she arched her back into my mouth, "Olivia, you're going to make me come," she panted, mewling at my manipulations.

I smiled and trailed my mouth across the valley of her breasts, to land at the neglected nipple. I loved having her pregnant, her breasts had increased in size and she was feral when my mouth mimicked sex on them. She moaned loudly and gasped when I nibbled, her body going limp suddenly atop of mine. She whimpered when I wouldn't stop, the hand that was lost in my hair, pulled harshly and I hissed, effectively ending the torture I had put her in. Her mouth crashed with mine and when our tongues found each other, she pulled back, sucking on the muscle slowly, "I—I told you, y—you've had your fun," she finished with a pant, kissing my tongue lightly.

"I could say the same thing about you," I spoke softly against her lips.

"You don't like playing fair, do you, Lieutenant?" I shrugged my shoulders and stared at her eyes, a playful glint about them drew me in, "Bed, now."

She stood slowly, allowing me to stand and saunter towards the bed. I made a show of swaying my hips for her enjoyment and when I climbed the bed, I leaned forward, placing my shoulder on the mattress, and arching my back, putting on display her most favorite part of my body. She growled and spoke lowly, "You fucking tease," she said, running her fingers through my core. I moaned and hissed at the sudden contact.

I must've been distracted by the feeling of her hands, when she bit my ass cheek, eliciting a yelp from me, "Jesus, Victoria!"

"Oh, that wasn't for me to do?"

I giggled and bit my lip, turning over slowly and spreading my legs, "Eager much?" she continued, running her hands up my thighs to find my underwear. She pulled them down and let them drop to the ground, letting hers pool by her feet to quickly step out.

She leaned forward to run her tongue flat up my slit, circling my nub with her lips and sucking gently, "Fuck!" I moaned, raising my body up on my elbows.

She smiled against my center, running her fingers through her hair to throw it towards her right side of her face. She climbed my lap, interlacing our legs so that our sodden centers could meet. Once contact was made, I moaned, running my hand down her swollen belly. We panted in unison, having been waiting for this moment since our teasing begun at dinner. Her right hand had circled my boob, delivering gentle squeezes and she rolled her hips wantonly against me, "Fuck, that feels good," I whimpered, bringing my hand down to her thigh and pinched.

Her hand moved to my hip, and continuing her grinding motions, she smirked, her eyes glinting impishly at her desire. Laying here, underneath this perfection of a woman, feeling her center against mine, hearing her pant and moan at the pleasure she took of riding my body was too much to handle and closed my eyes, throwing my head back against the mattress, moaning loudly at the connection.

I hissed at the sensations she was bringing to my body and I opened my eyes, lifting my upper body on my shoulder, "Oh," I moaned, "y—you're going to make me come again."

"Mhmm," she moaned, smiling and biting her lips; taking pleasure in her victory.

"Oh, fuck," I whispered once she picked up the pace.

I moaned loudly, throwing my head back on my shoulders, but I could not stop looking at my wife. The way her breast swayed at her movement. I brought my hand to her chest and squeezed, watching her throw her head back, "So good," she mumbled through clenched teeth.

We both were panting like insatiable felines with our mouths parted. I ran my hand down her body, "God, you're so hot."

And, she picked up the pace at my words, causing me to fall on top of the mattress, "No, you're going to make me come again," she husked and though my eyes were closed, I knew she had that cynical smile on her face. The one she would sport right before her fall approached.

Tori wasn't much for moaning, she was more of a ragged breathing, panting, and cursing type of girl. And, I love that. Her body did her talking for her, and I knew she was close; as was I, "Oh, Tori," I moaned once more. I was unhinged, never having being this vocal before, "Just like that," I hissed, her movements hitting us just right where we both needed.

She mumbled something unintelligible, but whatever it was I responded with a nod, biting my lips, "Fuck!"

"Let me know when you're coming, baby."

"Fuck me, Tori."

She panted carnally, her raggedness hitting my on stomach as she once more picked up the pace.

The room was filled with moans, beckons of more, ragged breathing, and sensual pants, "Oh God, I'm going to come," I moaned, bringing my arm up above me to clutch at the sheets and my free one to her hip.

"Yea," she mewled in passion.

"Yes! Yes!" I responded, opening my eyes to watch my wife furrow her brow and look down in between us. Her teeth making an indention at her plump bottom lip as her hips rocked mercilessly above me.

"I'm coming," I shouted once more, accompanied by moans and scratches at her hip once my orgasm hit me, but always wanting to give me mines first, she was not there yet.

She closed her eyes and continued rocking her hips against me, seemingly elongating my orgasm and coaxing hers from within.

My hips bucked in sensitivity and she moaned, "Liv!"

She bit her lips and brought her arm to my shoulder, pushing hard against my sensitive button with her own when I felt her spasm and saw her bite her lip, "God, Jesus!"

She continued to ride me, riding out her own orgasm and attempting to bring me down from mine when my body gave out on me as I clutched to her thigh. I breathed in and out harshly unable to stop the vibrations of my body. She giggled coquettishly and slumped against me, her body warm and clammy from our workout.

She was quick to find my lips where she dove without a worry, my body responding to her want.

We kissed like there was no tomorrow, willing our thrumming hearts to calm after that storm of pleasure. I could feel the active movement of our little bundle inside her stomach and I smiled into the kiss, effectively breaking our lock, "Nugget here is wide awake now," I whispered against her lips, kissing her softly.

She giggled, kissing my lips continuously, "Well, sadly for them, it's way past their bedtime."

I smiled, "But, moms are awake, maybe Mommy can have a nice cuddle session?"

She lifted her head, staring down at me, "No spoiling the kid until _after_ they've made their presence known in this world."

I laughed heartily, shaking my head slightly, "Says the one who fed them chocolate at this hour."

She gasped, feigning hurt, "I did tell you that, but it was supposed to be for me, not for Nugget."

"We should call Alex and Casey in the morning, I miss my boogers," I relinquished, bringing my hand to dance atop her spine.

"My little rug rats," she mused, "how is it that we've been away from them two days and I feel like I haven't seen them in months.

"They're a big part of our life, Tori. Just like when you left for those three months, I started missing as soon as I dropped you off at the airport. The kids did too."

She smiled brightly and went to untangle our limbs, accommodating herself tightly next to me, her hand draped over my torso, "I cried when I got to base, balled my eyes out because you weren't there."

I could feel her words fading away and I knew sleep was just at the corner for us. I hummed and brought my hand to her stomach, feeling a flutter of movement against my palm. Tori moaned softly, "Stop riling him up, Olivia. Mama's tired."

"Him?" I mentioned with a smirk, "Is that a fact or a hunch?"

"The boys were always active at night too, and especially so after having had sex," she responded, placing a kiss to my chest.

"If it's another boy, I fear for Cassidy. Noah, Hunter, and Hudson are already so protective of her and she's supposed to be the oldest. Imagine when she starts dating, Tori. Oh God, she's fixing to start dating."

Victoria laughed, "Are you going all patriarchal figure on me, Liv? She has enough men in her life for that. Her brothers, Carisi, my father, Fin… she doesn't need it from her mothers. Plus, you already have gun, I'm sure whomever it is she dates will know that. She likes to drop the fact that you're a Lieutenant of the NYPD."

"Smart girl," I mentioned factually as I smirked, "And, I resent that comment, Victoria. You're the one that's going to be all 'you're not deserving of my son' on me."

"Because they aren't," she growled playfully, wincing in the process, "I have to get up," she said, moving to slide down the bed, "Nugget here just pushed on my bladder."

I laughed, watching her playfully glare at me, "Happy Anniversary, Olivia!" she finished over her shoulder, winking towards me.

* * *

 **A/N:** Jesus, the smut scenes always suck the life out of me. We'll give it a rest for a couple of chapters. Coming next though, jealousy, someone from the past, obsession, and Via.


	31. Truth-Proof

_**Truth-Proof**_

(Olivia's POV)

"Guys, we have been sitting on Lindworsky for weeks now, please tell me we have something, anything," I asked, crossing my arms as I assessed the board with the multiple pictures of the victims.

"Nothing, Lieutenant," Carisi answered, "He's good, I mean, he rapes and murders three of his ex-girlfriends, manages to leave DNA at the scene and we _still_ haven't seen him around the city or at his home."

"That's what scares me, Carisi," Fin interjected, "How many more of his girlfriends is he going to murder before we finally catch this son-of-a-bitch?"

I shook my head and went to speak before I was interrupted by my office phone, "Let's recanvass his workplace, frequent hangout spots, his parent's home; and let's see if we can get in touch with any more of his exes before something worst happens," I finished directing over my shoulder as the squad moved about. I reached my office and leaned to reach my phone, "SVU, Benson," I answered.

" _Cabot—Liv, are you busy?_ "

"Alex? What's going on? Everything ok?" I replied.

" _Uh, yea, yea. Are you busy?_ "

"Uh," I pondered, looking out into the bullpen to see Fin, Carisi, and Rollins disappear through the door, "just working on the Pattern 14 case, why?"

" _Could you meet me on Lexington Ave? I—It's Cassidy,_ " as soon as the blonde uttered those words my heart dropped.

"Alex, is—is she ok? What happened? Did you call Tori?"

" _Olivia! Just please meet me here and I'll tell_ _you everything you need to know. And, no, Tori doesn't know yet, but Cassidy doesn't want her to know. She didn't even want you to know. Just please, get here._ "

Before I could respond, Alex had already hung up. I sighed and texted Fin, glancing at my wristwatch quickly and noticing it was almost six in the afternoon and that we were bound to finish up soon. I let him know that I was leaving early and that if he needed anything to please let me know. I immediately gathered my belongings and quickly exited my office, heading quickly towards the elevators.

My thoughts were everywhere. I didn't know what to expect or think, it's not like I had an idea of what was possibly happening with Cassidy since Alex had decided to omit all of that information until she had me there. The address that she had sent to my phone was only a few minutes away from the precinct and a clothing store at that too.

Thankful for my unmarked SUV, I was able to park near the sidewalk and immediately made it to the storefront. I walked in and surveyed the store, not noticing any familiar redhead or blonde, "Liv," I heard Alex speak in a breathy sigh.

I pushed my way towards where Alex was standing, "What am I doing here, Al?"

Alex sighed and closed her eyes, "I need you to keep a level head right now, Olivia," she begun, opening her eyes slowly, "Your daughter is back there in the offices being accused of stealing," I furrowed my brow in anger and my expression alone was enough for Alex to continue, "Listen to me, she's been crying, she's scared, she said that she had no idea Via had been doing that. Now, who the hell is Via?"

I huffed and closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair and slowly doing a one-eighty turn, "T—That's Simon's daughter," I mentioned lowly.

"Your _brother_?" she nearly shouted. I nodded and she continued, "How the hell does she know about Cassidy?" she growled.

"It's a long story, Al. Why did she call you instead of one of us?"

Alex had her brow pulled in, her icy glare trained on my face, "She's scared you won't believe her."

I huffed once more, "Let's just go in there, please. I'll tell you everything you want to know at the apartment."

Alex nodded and walked in front of me, directing me through the hallways of the store until we stopped at a frosted door. She knocked and was ushered in, upon entering, Cassidy was sat on the furthest seat by the door, and her stare was trained on her lap when she noticed me there, "Olivia, this is Ms. Dearie, manager of the store."

I smiled sheepishly and extended my hand towards the younger woman. She shook my hand and motioned me to sit, "Mrs. Benson, over the past couple of months this young lady and her friends have frequented the store. They're always very polite, very nice to my employees, but we discovered something on their last visit. I do monthly pruning of the shop's surveillance cameras and unfortunately, we had been backed logged for quite some months and it was then when I discovered that your daughter has been shoplifting."

I sighed and turned to train my gaze on my daughter. Her head hung low on her shoulders, her cheeks were tear stained, and she sniffled silently, "I apologize deeply, Ms. Dearie," I said with my hands.

Ms. Dearie nodded, "Now, she says that she had no idea of what was going on and on the surveillance cameras she truly does seem unaware of what is happening, but we don't know if this was something that was premeditated or not. Here, have a look."

The woman turned the laptop atop her desk for me to have a look at the recovered footage and pressed play at the video. Almost immediately you could see a laughing Cassidy accompanied by several of her school friends. I recognized Lily, Olivia J., Mallory, and there was another girl with them that managed to keep her face away from the cameras. Cassidy is at the jewelry section of the store when the other girl turns around and drops several pieces of jewelry in Cass' backpack. Cassidy moves away from the table she was at and I could see why the store manager would think that this could be premeditated.

Another video from another day looped in and again you could Cassidy, Lily, Ava, Tiana, and the same other girl that time and again managed to keep her face hidden from the cameras. This time, she had sunglasses in her hand and they were already at the register when, my guess is Cassidy asked the girl for the wallet inside her backpack and the girl took this opportunity to sneak the sunglasses inside the bag with the pretense of looking for the wallet.

Two more videos with the same girls were shown to me and in each one of them Cassidy had been the main target. My sweet, sweet girl never noticed that it was happening and if it was premeditated, they had been clever in trying to do so. I looked over at Cassidy, her little shoulders shaking with sobs, "Cassidy Jade Benson," I called for her.

She sniffled and looked up, her lip trembling as she locked eyes with me, "Who is that with you in those videos?"

"V—Via," she said lowly.

I sighed, shaking my head, "Did Via put you up to this?"

"N—No Mommy, I swear," she grumbled as a sob broke through her, "I didn't even know she was doing t—that. W—Why would I steal, Mommy?" she heaved, sucking in air, attempting to control her breathing, "I would have to be a special kind of stupid to s—steal when my _mother_ is part of the NYPD," she coughed slightly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, "Y—You've always encouraged us to come to you if we ever want something, w—why would I steal?"

She had a point there; especially in the part where she said that she had to be a special kind of stupid to steal knowing that I worked for the police department. I looked back to where Alex was standing with a slight smirk on her pouty lips, arms crossed across her chest. Alex shot me a wink and nodded slightly when I turned around to face Ms. Dearie, "You work for the NYPD?" she asked.

I nodded and showed her my shield, "Lieutenant Olivia Benson, SVU," I mentioned, "It means nothing Ms. Dearie, what course of action would you like to take?"

The woman looked between Cassidy and I, and she smiled slightly, "This isn't the first time we've caught shoplifters, but it is the first time where I've personally _believed_ a girl that has sat here and cried claiming she didn't do it. Your daughter always pays for her purchases and she has even paid for her friend's purchases when they've come up short," I looked at Cassidy with a surprised look on my face, "She's welcomed back to the store as long as she's accompanied with an adult. Unfortunately, this friend of hers is not allowed back to the store."

I nodded and smiled, going to stand, "Thank you Ms. Dearie, I appreciate it."

"T—Thank you, Ms. Dearie," Cassidy said as she hopped off the chair.

Ms. Dearie saw us out and we were about to walk out of the store when Cassidy stopped me, "My c—card is at the register, I have to get it," she said, letting go of my hand, walking quickly towards the register and back.

As we exited the store, Alex spoke, "Where were you going after this, sweet pea? You know Tori is working late tonight and Olivia had no plans on leaving the precinct this early."

She sniffled, "It's only a ten-minute walk from here to the precinct. I was going to surprise Mommy. It's Friday, plus the boys annoy me some times."

I chuckled at her words and shook my head. Alex laughed heartily and looked at me, "What are we going to do, Liv? Tori is going to have a coronary."

I sighed and looked at Cassidy whom was kicking at the ground, avoiding the subject lingering. I shook her hand, "What are we going to do, CJ? I have questions and your mom is going to have double the ones I have."

Cassidy sighed, "Could we eat before we go home, please? I never did get to surprise you," she finished, looking down at the ground bashfully.

I smiled, "Where were you going?"

"JG Melon," she said with a bright smile.

"Oh," Alex shouted, "their burgers are _so_ good."

I rolled my eyes, "Call Casey, we can have a girl's night," I conceded, taking Cassidy's bag to put it in the SUV and we proceeded to walk down the street where the pub awaited for us.

It was bound to be a hard conversation with Victoria tonight, but it was one we needed to have. I knew Victoria had her apprehensions towards Via, but who was I to prohibit my daughter from wanting to see her cousin? Cassidy was always surrounded by her brothers and though she managed fine, sometimes she just wanted to spend time with girls, as did any girl her age, and though she had asked me instead of Victoria for permission to continue to see the fair girl, I know I should've at least spoken about it with her beforehand. Now, I was in for an earful once Victoria got home tonight from her assignment upstate.

* * *

Back at the apartment, the boys were glad that we were home and Lucy was glad that Cassidy had made it in with me. It seems as if Cassidy had promised the younger brunette to reach out once she was at the precinct, but with the whole ordeal at the store, she forgot. We stayed awake until a little after ten when the boys were the first ones to have their eyes begin to lull as sleep slowly made its way known through their body. Once the boys were down for slumber, Noah was the next one to disappear to his room. Cassidy and I stayed awake, waiting for Victoria to come home and have our much-needed talk. Cassidy lain on my lap, reading a book as I skimmed through a case file when the door rattled and swiftly opened. Cassidy tensed on my lap and looked up at me, her eyes beginning to water.

"Liv?" she asked, as she removed her shoes by the door.

"Do _not_ leave those shoes at the door, Victoria," I replied with a chuckle, running my fingers through Cassidy's hair.

"I'm kicking them towards the room, you don't want me to bend, remember?" she chuckled, "Oh, Cass, baby I didn't know you were still awake."

"Hi Mama," she replied sheepishly, creating a dog-ear on her page, and sitting up.

I looked back at Victoria as she leaned in to find my lips. I smiled and kissed her again whispering my love to her lips. She stood straight and rubbed her swollen belly, "Is someone going to tell me why the somber mood?"

Cassidy looked at me and I nodded, "Something happened today after school, Mama. I had to call Aunt Lex to… bail me out," she mentioned, hugging her book to her chest.

Victoria looked at me and then at Cassidy, "I'm listening," she said as Cassidy begun telling her all about the past couple of months with Via and how I'd given her permission to continue seeing her and hanging out with her.

Victoria leaned her hips against the backrest of the couch and was listening intently to what our daughter was telling her, occasionally training her intimidating stare on me. Once Cassidy had finished recapping she begun telling her about the day's events, "It was shopping day today after school, remember?" Victoria nodded, "I went to the usual stores with Lily, Livvy, and Mallory today and I was about to pay when the store manager pulled me back and asked me to call my parents, so I called Aunt Lex and once she showed up Ms. Dearie told Titi everything and she then called Mommy. Once Mommy got there she saw the videos of Via sneaking stuff into my backpack when I wasn't looking. The manager thought it was premeditated, but like I told Mommy, I have to be a special kind of stupid to steal knowing my mother is NYPD. I'm not allowed at that store any longer unless I'm with an adult, even though I didn't do anything."

"Where's the stuff that was stolen, Cassidy Jade? And, do _not_ think for a second you can lie to me."

"I really don't know, Mama. They're not here, that I know for sure."

"They're not here, Tori. I checked," I chimed in.

I received a terrible glare from her before she spoke, "Did your mother disciplined you?"

Cassidy looked at her lap and nodded, "No card for a month and no after school hangouts for two weeks."

Victoria nodded and smiled, "All right sweet one, I think it's time for you to head to bed," she mentioned, receiving a kiss from Cassidy. Once Cassidy was safe out of earshot her anger poured, "I cannot believe you would agree for her to continue to see Via after _we_ had established that a safe distance should be kept," she huffed, walking around to plop down on the couch next to me, "Though I am incredibly upset that you still went over me, I understand why you did it."

I opened my mouth in shock. W—Was I hearing her correctly? "You do?"

She looked at me and snickered, shaking her head as she did so, "Yes, Olivia. I do. Boys always surround Cassidy and even when she plays here, she only has Lyle and Curtis—more boys. I get it, she just wants more interaction with females her age _aside_ from the girls from school."

I nodded, "But, you're still upset with me."

She looked at me and smiled, "No, I'm not. I mean, maybe a little bit, but you did what was right for her. I just," she sighed, "Olivia, I don't need this stress right now, I don't. I already have enough with work, I don't need it too when I come home. And, before you think of opening that pretty little mouth to say something ridiculous like maybe I should cut back from work, I'm not saying I cannot handle it, all I am saying is that I don't want to add to my plate when I know it's full already."

I held my hands up and nodded, "I hear you, Tori," I removed the case file from my lap and placed it next to me on the couch, turning to face her, "I never thought Via would be trouble for Cassidy. She always seemed so happy when around her. You know, the store manager said that Cassidy has even paid for her friends when they come up short."

Victoria smiled, running her hands through her swell, "We've taught her well, Liv," she mentioned looking at me, "She always told me when she did. I monitor her spending on that card, she does really good with her allowance money."

I nodded, "She does, I'm proud of her. Oh, before I forget, I'm taking her tomorrow to the group home where she was placed; she wants to donate clothes and some shoes that don't fit anymore. Noah and the boys get to spend time with Mama tomorrow," I finished, reaching over to rub my hands on her stomach.

"Take her to get a haircut while you're at it. Her hair has gotten ridiculously long," Tori mused, leaning back on the couch, propping her legs up on the ottoman.

I nodded in acknowledgement and continued to rub my hands over her swell, pressing gently on the areas I knew Nugget liked to be felt, "I think they're done for today," Tori continued, "They were way too active on my way here, maybe when I take a bath…"

I bit my lip and hovered my face above hers, "Is that an invitation, Doctor?"

"To get you wet?" she asked, arching her brows, "I don't need permission for that, _Lieutenant_."

"You're right," I husked, grabbing her hand and easing it inside my sweatpants, "you deliberately make me wet," I finished, leaning forward to bite her bottom lip.

She moaned, slowly moving her fingers through my slit, "Jesus, Liv," she said breathily, resting her forehead against mine, "Take a bath with me?" she mentioned impishly.

"Like you have to ask," I husked, quickly standing and walking away, "Bubbles or not?" I mentioned over my shoulder, catching her glazed stare over my bottom.

* * *

 **A/N:** More Via to come though, this isn't the last time she'll make an appearance. Also, what would you guys like to see coming up? I have a few ideas, but let me know, I am listening! Review, review, review, and thank you for sticking with me y'all, I love writing this pairing! :)


	32. Closure

_**Closure**_

(Olivia's POV)

As May slowly continued, spring seemed to—finally—be in our midst. Depending on how cold or warm it was when you were outside is how you determined what season it was and since it was still cool, for a New Yorker that meant spring still hadn't finished. We were currently somewhere in Queens just getting done with Noah's little league game. Before Victoria became a part of my life, I had enrolled Noah in a sport to help him channel his energy and his anger. Let's face it, his genes weren't the best, but I was determined on making him a man of good. Someone people had no trouble trusting and now that I had three little men in my home, I was determined on making _all_ of them men of profit.

"Jesus, Nugget," Victoria mumbled as she stood, "Let Mama eat in peace."

I laughed at the comment my wife made and shook my head, "Baby, again?"

She nodded as she walked past me, "I just hope the line isn't as long as it was last time."

Victoria's cravings had landed us at a mom-and-pop Italian restaurant, even though it was Noah's turn to pick where we had our lunch, the boy's love for good Italian food was immeasurable and lucky for him, there was a neatly rated restaurant a couple of minutes away from the field he had just been playing at. We were seated at a rectangular table towards the front of the restaurant and as the cop that I was, I sat facing the window and door, looking at by passers and reveling in the kid's banter and wit.

I leaned forward to reach for the basket of bread that had been placed for us to munch on when I saw him walk in. Immediately the air around me changed, it felt charged, nearly uncomfortable and I dropped the bread on the small saucer in front me, placing my elbows on the table and lacing my fingers together, resting them easy over my mouth.

It had been what, ten? Eleven? Twelve years since I last saw him, but not for lack of trying. I had sent emails, text messages, I had called and left voice messages, and all of them went unacknowledged. Once the Captain had told me that he had put his papers in, it had nearly broken me. I just wanted him to talk to me, I would've understood. I was there when it all went down.

My relationship with Elliot was one that no one would ever understand. Yes, there had been chemistry and over the years the lines had been blurred on more than one occasion, but we never _ever_ dared cross them. Every one around us, his wife—Kathy, our coworkers, our friends, even our Captain always knew there was something, and maybe there was, but not in the way that they thought.

Not now though, I wanted him to ignore me, to continue to ignore me just like he had done so all these years. I had reached out to his home, his older children just to be met by silence at every corner. Was that really fair of him to put the world and the moon between us? Was it really fair to throw away a friendship of over a decade? He had made all of those decisions for the both of us, never once stopping to think that maybe I deserved a little closure too, "Olivia," he said in a breathy sigh.

"Elliot," I responded curtly.

"Nice to see you here, in Queens out of all the places," he paused, looking at the kids, "You're married now and with quite the brood, I see."

I lowered my hands to the table, glaring at him, "Like you didn't know that already, Elliot."

"Come on, Liv. I knew you married a hotshot doctor and had _a_ kid, not four," he paused, tapping his fingers against the table, "That's quite the rock you got there," he chuckled, attempting a quip at the fact that before he left, I only used to wear my necklaces and a wristwatch. Oh, and I would wear my mother's ring that I was now reserving for Cassidy's sixteenth birthday, "You wear that every day?"

"Yes, I do. Without missing a beat," I mentioned matter-of-factly.

"Who do we have here, huh?" I knew what he was doing, he was trying to create a diversion and though I didn't him owe him anything, he had now grabbed the attention of the kids and unfortunately for me, I had to introduce them to him.

"This is Noah," I said, playing with the boy's locks, "next to him is Hudson," he looked up from his activity sheet and smiled, "the little redhead in the corner _buried_ in her cellphone is Cassidy," she smiled and shot me a knowing look, "and next to her is Hunter. Babies, this… _used to be_ Mommy's friend, Elliot. Can we say 'hi'?" the kids waved and smiled at Elliot and continued with their previous tasks.

"Used to, Liv?"

"Am I lying, _Elliot_?"

"Un poquito más and I would've soiled myself," said Victoria, walking past Elliot and taking her seat across from me. She must've noticed the staring match I was having with the man to my left when I felt her hand grab my left one, "Olivia?"

I looked down at our conjoined hands and smiled, "Baby, this is Elliot," I mentioned, looking up at her. Victoria's face sported sheer amusement when she parted her mouth and grinned.

She extended her hand for him to take, "Dr. Victoria Reyes-Benson," she mentioned.

If anyone was surprised it was Elliot. He knew about my brief relationship with Alex and though he never said anything, I knew he disapproved of the fact that I was dating another woman. He also thought that it was a phase and that eventually, I'd 'grow' out of it, the way my children outgrew their clothing.

He extended his hand and shook hers, "Nice to meet you," he said, "Y—Your children are beautiful."

Tori narrowed her eyes at him, "Of course they are," she replied, running her hand down Hunter's back, "they take after my beautiful wife."

I smiled and could feel the sudden warmth that had crept up my cheeks, "I already married you, Victoria. No need for the constant flattery."

"Of course I do. Right, Elliot? You're a married man," she awarded, turning her head and looking at him.

Elliot nodded and tapped his fore and middle finger on the table, "Listen Liv, I was wondering if you were up for meeting some time to talk and catch up. My number is still the same so, just shoot me a call whenever."

I scoffed and bit my lip, "Yea, don't hold your breath, Stabler," I mentioned quickly, shuffling on my seat.

He turned around once his name was called and he waved at the table, "Think about it, please."

I watched as he walked out of the restaurant just like he had walked out of my life all those years back, "Liv, mami, are you all right?"

I shook my head and lowered my eyes to my lap, thankful for the waiter that had just brought out our food, "Not now, baby, please."

"Ok," Victoria replied, effectively dropping the subject for now.

* * *

We were able to eat and enjoy our lunch with the kids and once back at the house, after getting them settled and showered, I had played with them, and bothered Victoria all in one moment. It was moments like those that reminded me that my life hadn't been a mistake, and that everything did happen for a reason. The kids were settling down with a movie in the living room and I retired to Victoria's and I room. I sat and lain back on the bed, lacing my fingers above my stomach, and closing my eyes in thought.

I replayed my brief conversation back in my head and in tandem thought about what had gone wrong. After the shooting, all I had wanted was to be there for him just like he had been there for me on many a time. What was he thinking? That I was going to convince him otherwise on putting his papers in? Or, maybe he thought that I was going to berate him for shooting a teenage girl... But, he was wrong. She walked in, deliberately taking aim and firing towards the men that were _already_ behind bars. She pointed her gun towards me and pulled the trigger, killing Sister Peg in the act. If it wouldn't have been for the provoking comment one of the men said, she could've still be alive. Elliot had no choice but to shoot her, but maybe that was it.

Could he maybe be blaming me for shooting Jenna? Was he angry at me for 'having to save me'? Is that why he put his papers in, because of _me_? No, no, that couldn't be right. If that were the case, I wouldn't have tried to change his mind. We all had our limits and that was his. Shooting a child was his limit, regardless of the circumstances, whether extenuating or not, shooting Jenna was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ultimately, I would've been there for him, I would've been his partner, his friend, but that was all besides the point and issue now. I suddenly heard movement and then the bed dip. I felt pressure on my pelvis and I smiled, having an idea of whom it could be.

Victoria grabbed my hands and brought them to her mouth where she peppered kisses all over the back of them to later have them land on her swell. With my eyes closed, I roamed her stomach, caressing her smooth skin, feeling the easiness of the fall of her breaths, the hard spots on her stomach where our little Nugget would create pressure. She didn't say a word, she just let me bask in the happiness I felt when being able to share moments like these with her. I felt her tense when Nugget delivered a powerful kick to her ribs and I opened my eyes as she breathed out, "There she is," she mused with a smile.

"That was a hard one, wasn't it?"

She nodded and bit her lip, running her fingers through her hair to gather it at her crown, and tying it in place. She placed her hands atop mine; stopping my movements, "Call him, Liv."

I darted my eyes to her face in shock, "What?"

She sighed, "Olivia, mami, you're hurting. I can see it in your eyes and in response, I'm hurting too."

"Tori—"

"Go to him, Olivia. You have questions and he's the only one with the answers," she smiled softly, "A drink or two won't hurt anyone."

I sighed and shook my head, chuckling. Thank God for being psychoanalyzed by your wife without exactly knowing I was. And, I don't see it as being psychoanalyzed, but as being guided when I didn't know what to do, when I was stuck within my own, and here she came and provided insight to my thoughts. I _did_ have questions, a lot of them actually and he _was_ the only one with the answers.

* * *

I had called him and set up a meeting and here I was, in the same beat bar we frequented on many a night during tough cases, and in the same booth we would occupy. I was sipping on my beer when I saw him walk in. It wasn't much different than it would've been ten years ago. He nodded at the bartender and approached the booth, taking a seat across from me. As an organic instinct, sort of a Pavlovian response, he looked over my shoulder and to his left and I over his and to my right. We had done it too many times that not doing it would've felt off. I was at ease and now we could speak, now we could interact.

I pushed the beer bottle towards him, "I was surprised when you called."

I chuckled and nodded, picking at the label of the beer, "You have my wife to thank for that."

He shook his head and smirked, "You and a woman, Liv."

"Don't Elliot, that's not up for discussion," I warned sternly and sighed. I saw him nod dejectedly, "What happened, El?"

He sighed and took a hearty sip, "I—I—I don't know, Liv. I—I just…" he placed his beer bottle on the table and sighed, "I couldn't go back. I had just shot a kid not much older than Dickie and Lizzie. What was I supposed to do?"

"Talk to me, El. I was there when it happened. I could've and would've understand if you had just talked to me."

Elliot scoffed and gave a wry grin, "You know, every night when I would get home from work Kathy would nearly beg me to talk to her and I'd always respond to her that I couldn't that it was best if she didn't know, and she was always jealous of the fact that I would be so free with you. But, that night was different. All I wanted to do was get home to her. I cried in her arms," he finished, looking at me through his lashes, and offering me a sheepish smile.

I furrowed my brow and bit my lip, "What are you saying, that I couldn't understand because I didn't have kids then?"

He sat back abruptly, "Liv, please," he warned.

There was heavy and awkward pause as the topic of never-ending discussion lingered over us. The waiter had been by our table and we asked for a second round of beer as I pondered what to tackle next, "I wouldn't have changed your mind, El," I mentioned simply, shooting a smile to our waiter with our refills.

"Y—You wouldn't have?"

I shook my head and leaned back slightly, "No, I wouldn't have," I saw a few fleeting emotions go by his eyes, but he never spoke so I continued, "We were too… codependent of one another. Maybe it was best for the both of us to experience that in a way. I mean, I didn't have a choice," I mentioned with my shoulders, leaning forward, "but, then again, I wouldn't have found happiness if you wouldn't have left."

"I—I'm sorry, Liv. I never meant to hurt you like I did," he mentioned with a sigh, "Maureen and Kathleen kept _begging_ me to talk to you, but I couldn't muster up the… _balls_ to pick up the phone and call you," he looked up from the random spot on the table he'd been staring at, "I—I know you've been through some hardships before, uh, before Victoria," I nodded and gave a thin lipped smile, "with a kidnapping and the hostage situation, that when I finally did call, you'd changed your number and address."

I shook my head in disbelief, "Don't give me that, Elliot," I sighed heavily, "The same way you found out about those hardships, about me having a kid, me getting married; you could've found out my new number and address then. The number to the CO's office hasn't changed."

"How'd you meet?" I cocked my head when he spoke suddenly, "Uh, Victoria."

I smiled and thought about that first day, "She has Huang's old job."

Elliot raised his brows, "You and a shrink?" he chuckled, "Wow, you _have_ changed."

 _What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ "It's what people do, Elliot," I gave him a pointed look.

He nodded and smiled, "I know, I know," he sighed, running his fingers through his face, "Five kids?"

I laughed at his question and the way he was asking it, "Isn't that the number of the Stabler clan?" he nodded and laughed, "Yea, we thought we would stop after the boys, but God, I love having her pregnant."

Elliot smirked, "Easy there, Liv. Your boyish side is showing," he finished with a wink.

I smiled and shifted, "She's amazing, El. She brings out the best in me, the worst; even when I think I'm done, I just have to look into her eyes to be reminded of all the good… I'd do it all over again if it meant having her once again."

I was smiling like a fool and I knew he could tell how much she meant to me, how much my family meant to me. It's all I ever wanted, it's all I ever really dreamed about. And, suddenly I realized that I didn't need to be here anymore. I didn't _want_ to be here any longer. I'd said my piece and he had said his, he even apologized, and I believed in his apology. I accepted it. I didn't need to be here anymore, my children were up and probably wreaking havoc around the apartment, and my wife; my sweet, beautiful wife was probably laughing at their shenanigans and reveling in their wit. I had someplace else to be.

"I want to thank you, Elliot."

"For?"

"For leaving," he rose his brows and knitted them at his forehead, "If you wouldn't have left, El, I would've never learned to pick myself up. You taught me a valuable lesson, one I didn't realized until after a year or so of your absence. I was looking to find in you a love that I _seemed_ to be missing, but it wasn't until after you left that I realized, I had that love. It's always been there, it'll always be there, but not coming from you—or anybody else—it came from within. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and tired and completely over everything, and still have the strength to carry on. You gave me that in some way, so thank you," I finished in a breathy sigh. I stood and placed a twenty-dollar bill on the table.

He nodded and motioned me with his beer bottle, "See you 'round, _partner_."

I nodded and shoved my hands in my pocket, walking by him briskly. Once outside the cool breeze blew, blowing the hair away from my face. I had parked about a block away and heading back towards the SUV I felt lighter, renewed, like a small weight had been removed from my shoulders, and I smiled.

Thank you, Victoria Thalia Paige Benson for pushing me into tonight!

Life comes in surges of joy and misery, and the bittersweet truth is that neither lasts forever. But, when you're going through a rough patch, it sure does seem like an eternity. And, the happier moments appear… fleeting. Rest assured that everything eventually finds peace. The sooner you confront your challenges with courage and without fear, the sooner the tranquil order of all things is restored. I had a lot of people to thank tonight, Elliot for leaving my life in such a rash moment, life for having treated me like shit, and my wife and kids for helping me find and restore all the love and happiness I had longed for so long.

* * *

 **A/N:** I had written this chapter a long time ago, but something happened to my computer and I ended up losing it and had to re-write it. I have to say, I love this version of it better than the one I had initially written. I'll even contemplate posting it as it's own one-shot as well. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the reviews! :)


	33. Jealousy

_**Jealousy**_

"All right, Noah, where were we?" I said to my son who was sitting on the other side of the breakfast bar diligently doing his homework.

"I have to write an equation with a variable and then solve it. So, 'Last week, the first graders borrowed _d_ books and the second graders borrowed fifteen books. The third graders borrowed twenty-four books. The three grades borrowed fifty-four books in total.'" He read from his worksheet.

At that moment, I heard the clicking of heels and I looked up, noticing the ensemble of my wife. She was wearing a jean three quarter sleeve blouse, skin-tight black jeans, and black strappy stilettos. Her hair was parted down the middle in loose waves and she had finished the ensemble with light makeup and a bright red lip. She smiled as she noticed me checking her out, her hands running up and down her thighs, "You know, it's rude to stare," she offered with a chuckle.

I narrowed my stare at her. Where the hell was she going dressed like that? Who was she meeting again? "Uh, w—where are you going again?" I asked, my voice trembling.

She parted her mouth and grinned, "I'm going to a bar, Plug Uglies. It's a cop bar on third."

I hummed and nodded my head, lowering my eyes to what Noah was writing and working on, "Who's going?"

She chuckled and approached the bar, standing next to Noah to look over his shoulder to his homework, "The guys from the precinct, a couple from the two-seven, the two-two, and the one-eight."

"And… you're going… dressed like that?" I asked, my tone a bit harsher than intended.

Her eyes shot up and met mine quickly, her mouth in a smirk, "Vic—are you, are you… is something wrong?"

She took a step forward, intending to stand next to me, but I did not want to be next to her. Not at this moment and I was certainly not having this conversation with Noah sitting literally inches away from us. I recoiled my arm as she reached for it, "Nothing's wrong. Have fun, I have to go pee," I said, side stepping her and walking to the hallway bathroom.

I heard Olivia scoff behind me, and the sudden start of her walk. I reached the bathroom and closed the door rapidly, locking it in the process as my body rested and gave out against the door. I shook my head and ran my hands through my face, walking over to the toilet to relieve the pressure the baby was creating on my bladder. As I'm finishing, I heard the soft rap of knocks, " _Tori_ ," she said tentatively.

"Olivia," I responded harshly, again.

" _Baby, please, what's going on? D—Do you want to me stay? I thought we had agreed on this at the beginning of the week._ "

"We did, so go have fun, _Olivia_ ," I responded, accentuating her name rather strongly.

I heard her sigh, " _A—All right, I'll see you later when I get home._ _I—I love you_."

I threw my head back and closed my eyes. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I still couldn't shake the feeling of Olivia's ensemble. She looked so fucking good and the thought of another man or woman ogling her the way I ogled her was _literally_ making my blood boil. She was supposed to dress like that for _me_ , not for anybody else. The thing was, my rational side was coming through. I had married Olivia knowing how some particular jeans looked on her. I had married her with the knowledge that she was most definitely a head turner, even if her head didn't turn for any one else, so why was I getting jealous _now_? Still, I couldn't bring myself to respond her 'I love you', "Yea," it was all I said.

I bit my lip, distracting my brain from the threat my tears were making at my eyes, and I exited the bathroom when I heard her say goodbye to Noah. I composed myself—or tried—and returned to help Noah with his math homework. He had five word problems that he needed to solve, all with the same instructions as the first and I was thankful that it had distracted me long enough for me to help my son finish his assignment. With a blessing from our little redheaded mathlethe, Noah put away his homework and dispersed to take a shower.

Cassidy had been sitting at the table, taking it over rather, with all of her homework spread over. The twins were in the living room giggling to them selves and at whatever was playing on the TV, "Mama, could you help me with this take-home quiz? It's a confusing question and the book is no help," Cassidy grumbled.

I tittered and wrung out my hands from the dishwater, turning to walk towards her, "Yes, hit me."

"Which is the closest star to the Earth? A- the sun, B- the moon, C- the Orion, or D- the constellation."

"Well, Cassidy, it's a take-home quiz so I don't think I should be helping you at all," I smirked and watched as my daughter gave me her infamous pouty lip, "But, I'll tell you this, B and D are _definitely_ wrong," I finished, shooting a wink to her.

She giggled and circled the letter A, looking at me approvingly.

I continued to get busy around our home. When I was stressed or angry, particularly angry, and in this case fucking boiling, I had a habit of cleaning; we had four kids, so messes in the Reyes-Benson household weren't exactly non-existent. But, at the same time, Olivia and I were neat freaks, so even through our messes, we still had a sense of cleanliness and nothing ever looked completely like a disaster. Where I'm trying to get at; is that, the apartment was clean, I was just stressing and going over clean spots over again for no reason. My phone had chirped from its place several times and I knew it was Olivia. It didn't take a genius to figure that!

After finally getting every one's homework finished, bath time routines completed, story and cuddle time done, they were off to sleep. Of course, sleep was not going to come to me unless I knew Olivia was ok. I decided to look through my phone and muster up the courage to answer to Olivia. I was behaving like a bratty teenager after not getting their way and I was adult enough to own up to my mistakes. I sat with my mug of tea and my phone on our bed, reading through Olivia's texts.

 _I love you, you know that?_

 _I can't believe you're jealous, Victoria, but I have to admit, seeing you jealous has put an extra pep in my step tonight. ;)_

 _The gang says hi!_ With that text message she had a sent a shot of her and all the men and women that were packed in on the u-shaped booth. I smiled and sighed, thinking about how ridiculous I'd behaved just a couple of hours prior, but my smile soon faded once I saw who Olivia was sitting next to: Gina Peralta. The leggy blue-eyed, raven-haired detective from the one-eight; she knew how I felt about her. I insisted and knew for a fact that Gina had a thing for Olivia, even if she consistently dismissed it, saying that Gina wasn't gay or that even if Gina did have feelings for her she only had eyes for me, but still, that didn't assuage at all my feelings towards the Italian woman.

I growled and locked my phone, deciding that adding fuel to the fire wouldn't be the most intelligent thing to do here. All of my emotions were on overdrive and I couldn't help but feel incredibly overwhelmed by everything. My hormones, mood-swings, and this pregnancy were throwing my entire body out of whack and right now, I couldn't handle it. I hopped off of the bed and quickly changed into my pajamas, grabbing my pillow, and walking out of the room and into Cassidy's.

The girl was already asleep, slowly breathing when I entered her bed, stirring her slightly. I cooed a soft 'it's ok' and settled next to her, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. Again, I was overwhelmed by all the feelings I was feeling and I was frustrated at my self for being so irrational. Olivia was just having a night out with coworkers and friends and she had assured me that nothing would ever go on between her and Gina, so why couldn't I believe her?

Olivia could have anybody that she wanted, that I was sure of and a thought that should've put me at ease, to know that she could have whomever she wanted and she still chose me should've put me at ease, but it didn't. I could feel the warm trickle of my tears make their way down my face as I settled near Cassidy. Soon enough, sleep had overpowered my being and I had fallen asleep.

I could hear the soft cooing of a voice and a slight shake to my body, "Huh?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Tori, baby, let's go to bed," Olivia said softly, gently pulling the covers off of my legs.

"No, I'm staying here. Enjoy the bed," I replied softly.

Olivia shook her head and scratched at her brow. She leaned in to land next to my ear, "Get your ass up, now," she growled near my ear, "We are _not_ waking up Cassidy for your little temper tantrum," she whispered as she stood, walking out of the room.

My mouth suddenly went dry and I stood from the bed carefully, making sure I hadn't stirred the slumbering body. I sauntered out of the room and neatly closed the door, walking to our room. Olivia had been pacing back and forth around our room and as soon as I shut the door she let me have it, "Are you _kidding_ me, Victoria?"

"What, Liv? I can't sleep with my children?" I retorted smartly.

"No, not when you're trying to avoid me. What's the matter, huh? Talk to me," she said, walking over to me.

I looked in those beautiful brown eyes and could tell she truly didn't know what was happening, "Gina Peralta," I said softly.

Olivia smirked and closed her eyes, "Tori," she said breathily.

"No, Olivia. You know how I feel about her and you can deny it all you want, but she _dreams_ of you fucking her."

Olivia chuckled and looped her arms through my waist, stepping closer to me. So much so that her scent was intoxicating every neuron, every vein in my body. I sighed and lowered my head, feeling her lips on my neck, "Liv, stop."

"Do you really want me to stop, Tori," she mumbled, leaving soft, hot kisses around my pulse point, "Because your breathing tells me otherwise," she finished, closing her mouth underneath the skin of my ear, making me gasp.

"But, I'm mad at you," I whimpered, snaking my hands to find her ass and squeezing.

"And, I'm mad at you," she spoke against my skin, "Maybe we can work our anger out on each other," she mentioned, biting at my earlobe.

I gasped loudly, "Liv," I said, pushing her hips into mines, "You don't fight fair," I said, pushing my cheek against hers.

"All is fair in love and war," she smugly said, snaking her hand through my hair and fisting it to deliver a gentle tug.

I moaned, craning my neck backwards, and exposing the base of my neck to her. Olivia moved her mouth to my throat; kissing and licking the warm skin in her path until she found that spot and bit. I gasped loudly; feeling Olivia suck and bite at my skin, and the way she was doing it was sure to leave a deep bruising mark. I should've stopped her.

My rational side wanted to stop her, but her mouth on my skin felt too good, and I gave in to her manipulations. Who was I to resist my wife? I tilted my head to award her more skin and my hands roamed freely down her bottom where I felt the subtle vibration of her cellphone. I bit my lip and pulled the device out, noticing the offending name across the screen. I parted my mouth and moved my body away from Olivia's grasp, showcasing her phone to her so that she could see who was calling.

She growled and threw her head back, running her hands through her face. She reached for her phone and I let her take it as I crossed my arms above my swell, "Gina, everything all right?"

Olivia breathed harshly as she knitted her brow together to what the other woman was saying, "I'm sorry that's happening, but I guess I'll stay with you on the phone until you're safe."

I raised my brows and nodded slowly, "Fucking unbelievable," I mentioned under my breath.

Olivia gave me a pleading stare and I shook my head in amusement, "Yea, sometimes not even _that_ works," she mentioned with a chuckle.

I smirked as an idea crossed my brain and I approached Olivia, smirking, and biting my lip as I did so. I circled my arms around her waist, smiling lovingly at her, and dove in for a bruising kiss, seemingly rendering her speechless and unable to continue conversation with Gina. As we parted, I bit her lip, releasing it quickly to hear Olivia hum and smirk roguishly, "I love you, Olivia," I mumbled near her lips, loud enough that even Gina Peralta could make what was being said.

Olivia scoffed playfully and kissed me twice, "I love you too, Tori," she finished, placing one quick kiss to my lips, "Huh? Uh, yea, she always stays awake and waits for me. It's one of the many reasons I love her," she responded.

The nerve of this fucking bitch, who the hell did she think she was to be questioning what I did and did not do? I arched a brow and brought my hands to the buttons of Olivia's denim shirt, quickly undoing them until her bra was exposed. Olivia's breasts were another favorite of mine and I quickly lowered my head to press my lips and run my tongue against soft, olive skin. I felt Olivia's grip on my hips tightened and I smiled against her skin, nipping at the exposed flesh above the bra cup.

Olivia hissed and groaned, clearing her throat, "Yea, yea; I just hit my toe on the bed post."

I smiled once more and moved my mouth to her neck, to that sweet spot on her pivot joint where I kissed, licked, and bit until I felt her pulse quickening. I moaned throatily, just to exacerbate her arousal and she cleared her throat, excusing herself momentarily from the conversation, "What are you doing, Victoria?"

I smiled against her skin and nipped her flesh, pulling it between my teeth and she mewled, "I'm working out my anger," I said breathily, "Isn't that what _you_ suggested?"

"Baby, let me finish and we can work out all the anger that you can possibly have for the next couple of days," she mentioned with a chuckle.

"Don't feel like it," I husked, bringing my hands to her chest, squeezing gently as I bit her flesh in tandem.

She shivered and brought the phone back to her ear, continuing her conversation with Gina. I rolled my eyes and brought my hands to her waistband, undoing her button when I felt her free hand on my wrist, gripping rather forcefully, and I knew then I had her attention. I giggled coquettishly, "Liv, let me go," I whispered against her skin.

She shook her head, "Tori," she warned.

I dove into her neck, sinking my teeth to her flesh, sucking on her skin to create a mark. She mewled and moaned, "Please," she whispered as I released her skin, "No, I was talking to my wife."

I licked and bit my lips, "Can I have my hand back?" I asked of her. She shook her head and smiled, "No?" she shook her head again and I shrugged, "Don't say I didn't warn you," I mused as I brought our hands inside my pajama pants, having her feel the heat my center radiated.

Olivia gasped and closed her eyes, easing on the grip she had on my wrist. She let go of my wrist and retrieved her hand from inside of my pants, "You're not home yet, Gina? Where do you live?"

I eyed my wife and the frustration the call was having upon her. I took a step forward and grabbed her waistband, looking into her eyes for any other hint of hesitation. I giggled throatily and reached inside her jeans, feeling her widening her stance as I reached what I was searching for. Olivia released a gust of wind through her nose and swayed, losing her balance momentarily. I smiled triumphantly and bit my lip, moaning at the feel of her wetness coating my palm, "Hang up."

"G—Gina," Olivia struggled, "I—I have to go. I n—Tori needs me."

I began drawing circles on her bundle of nerves and heard her whimper, "I'll make you come on this phone, Olivia. Now."

I sped up on my hand, "Tori," she moaned, "No, I wasn't talking to you. Yes, I'm fine."

I slid my hand back down her slit and inserted my fingers in her, hearing her gasp. She smiled and closed her eyes, bringing the hand that held her phone down. I licked my lips and smirked, feeling her free arm circle around my neck.

"Liv," I husked, "baby, hang up or Gina will hear how I make you moan my name," on cue, I curled my fingers forward, pushing the heel of my hand against nerve-ending nub.

"Tori," she moaned, resting her forehead against mine.

"Yes?"

"Please," she whispered, parting her mouth as I continued the slow manipulation inside her pants.

I giggled throatily and reached for her hand, taking the phone and bringing it to my ear. Gina was chanting Olivia's name in confusion, no doubt wondering where she was, "Gina, Olivia is a little bit preoccupied. She wants to come, _not_ talk to you, so goodbye," I finished with a smirk, ending the call effectively.

Olivia smiled as I gave in to her plea, "You're the worst when you're jealous."

"It's why you love me," I husked, bringing my lips to hers.

* * *

 **A/N:** Something fun before I make things a little bit grim here. ;) Review, review!


	34. Obsession

_**Obsession**_

(Olivia's POV)

After two months of searching for leads, hitting wall after wall, we were finally close to bringing in Pattern 14 killer. We had him surrounded whilst he was inside with his newest victims, the family of Lena Winston. We had contacted her and her partner, Marie Winston, whom had been Lindworsky's prom date in high school in order to hide the fact that she had no interest in the other sex. One of their kids had called the cops saying that there was a man in their house slapping their mother around. We immediately sprung into action and assembled ESU and SWAT as well. We were nervous, patiently waiting for the negotiator to lure him out so that we could spring into action.

They had told us to stand down, even though this was an SVU case, hostages were involved, and that never worked out in anyone's favor, especially not in the perpetrator's favor. I was fidgeting, incessantly when Chief Dodds made his self known, "Lieutenant," said Dodds, "what the hell is going on in there?"

"Chief," I responded, closing the gap between us, "I don't know, hostage negotiator took over. Last update was about thirty minutes ago."

He sighed, "Olivia," he begun, his voice sorrowful.

His stare wavered to above my shoulder and I immediately turned, watching as Alex approached me from behind, "Alex, what the hell is going on?"

Alex sighed and offered a thin-lipped weak smile, "We've been trying to call you. DA and Chief of D's want her working with the negotiator."

I furrowed my brow and I could feel as my stomach dropped. When she said 'her' she certainly didn't mean my wife, did she? "A—Alex, what are you saying?"

"Lieutenant, she was the one that directed the Homicide team towards SVU. She's been cleared by her Chief and the orders are coming straight from OnePP."

I took a shuddering breath and turned, scanning my surroundings. All I could see was the swarm of black, ESU and SWAT posted in every corner, elevated on every rooftop, guns pointing at windows and doors, flashes of blue and red tinting the warm pavement, but no sign of her. I ran my fingers through my hair and felt Alex's hand wrap around my bicep, but that was not my focus right now, my wife was. I pressed the button on the HT, "Rollins, Carisi," I called, releasing the button.

" _Liv,_ " Carisi responded.

"10-25 on Victoria," I replied shakily.

Time seemed to be moving slower than ever, but I knew not much had happened. It was agonizing those few seconds. She couldn't possibly think that I was going to let her be here. Not in her condition and not with the sadistic son-of-a-bitch that was inside. I already had enough with knowing that one pregnant woman and two children were inside that home, she needed not to add to my stress or hers. She needed to be downtown or on her way to our home, what the hell possessed her to come here _without_ clearing it with me first? _My phone, of course!_ I immediately fumbled with the radio, reaching behind me to my back pocket for my phone. Once the screen woke I saw the seven missed calls from Victoria's cell, the two missed calls from her office, the one missed call and voicemail from Fitzgerald, and an unread text message: _I love you, Liv. I'll be safe._

" _Liv_ ," rapped the voice of Amanda through the radio.

I sighed heavily and shook my head, "Yea?"

" _She's on your six_ ," I abruptly turned to face the building, seeing as Victoria stood with a Kevlar vest on her body. She was wearing one of my favorites on her: a mustard blouse, burgundy ponte pants, and her chunky heeled boots. _Where's her navy jacket? I love that navy jacket._

I crouched to the ground with my hand over my mouth. It would be futile and detrimental now to approach her, and let's face it, no one would let me approach her even if I tried. I felt my tears collect, what was she doing here? What was her plan? Why didn't she come find me first? I placed my elbows on my knees and hid my face, hearing the chatter through the radio when I felt strong arms surround my shoulders, easing me up.

"She's strong and you know it, Liv," Fin spoke near my ear.

"What is she doing here, Fin? She's supposed to be at home," I said in a shaky whisper.

"I'm so sorry, Liv," came the wavering voice of Alex.

I turned around in a whip, "This is on you, Cabot," I bit back harshly. I had no business being upset with Alex, but whom else could I blame if not her? She was the one that dragged my wife into this case in the first place. She was the one that continued to reach and seek for her help even when I specifically told her to _not_ contact Victoria with this case. It hit too close to home for comfort, but she insisted on inviting her in, "This isn't even your Bureau and you continue to meddle in my case. You're the reason _my wife_ ," I seethed, pointing behind me at Victoria's direction, "is standing _inches_ from a sadistic murderer and rapist."

Alex's sob broke and she brought her hand to her mouth, sniffling in the process, "I'm sorry," she whispered meekly.

"Liv," Fin warned, bowing his head.

I closed my eyes and sighed, closing the gap between Alex and I, "I'm sorry," I conceded, wrapping her in my arms, "I'm scared, Alex."

Alex nodded against my shoulder, "Me too."

Before I could respond, Victoria's voice could be heard through the loud speaker, "Damian, my name is Dr. Victoria Reyes. Can you let me know I'm being heard?"

A few seconds went by and we saw through one of the windows a child step to the open window, " _Hold your fire! It's a minor, HOLD YOUR FIRE!_ "

"Hey there, sweetheart," Victoria continued, "Tell me your name."

" _Jonathan_ ," the boy spoke loudly.

"Jonathan," Victoria parroted, "is Damian there with you?"

" _Yes_ " he responded, " _he's standing right next to me._ "

"Ok, Damian," she tried, "Damian, you don't need them. Let Jonathan," she paused, turning to the negotiator. They scrambled before more people approached, handing Victoria a piece of paper, "Let Jonathan, Sylvie, and Lena go."

" _No!_ " he shouted from the open window, still keeping Jonathan in view, " _I'll let the brats go, but the pregnant woman stays._ "

 _Jesus, his obsession with pregnant women… Tori!_ "Damian, you have to let _all_ of them go. We need to check Lena, she's in a fragile state and we have to make sure her and the baby are ok."

" _Where's Marie?_ "

Victoria turned towards the negotiator and had a small exchange, "She's right here with us and she's really worried about her kids, Damian. Let Jonathan and Sylvie go, please?"

I glanced up to the window, watching as a very frightened Jonathan stood there, "Please," I whispered mostly to myself, feeling Alex's vice grip on my hand.

That of Lena's replaced Jonathan's form, from below you could see her disheveled state. Her face was tear-stained; her hair stuck to her sodden cheeks, her hand a tremble, and her breathing though calm had a shallow fall to it. Lena was in her third trimester and if we weren't careful, the current state of her could send her into early delivery, "L—Lena?" Tori asked. Lena nodded and wiped her face with the back of her hand, "How are you feeling, Lena?"

" _I—I'm scared._ "

Tori dropped the loudspeaker and glanced at the concrete, running her hands through the front of her hair and bunching it at the crown. I had watched her for nearly eight years of my life and I could tell that she was overwhelmed, that she was trying to make sense of everything that was surrounding her. She was regrouping, trying to formulate a plan, an escape route, and a final 'checkmate' to her analysis. She was never impulsive when it came to her work, she understood the risk she took if she pushed Lindworsky too far on the edge that it would break him, but Lindworsky was the least of my concerns at the moment. My top priorities were those kids and the two pregnant women in this situation, one of them being my wife.

I tugged on Alex's hand, taking a few steps forward in an attempt to bridge the massive gap between Victoria and I. Alex tugged back, trying to stop me, but at that moment I was on autopilot. I needed her in my arms, safe from the dangers of the crime scene, safe from Lindworsky's sadistic personality and odd fetish, safe from everything that could go left if this operation took longer than expected. Fin placed a hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it away before Chief Dodds called out my name. Alex tried her best to pull me back towards her, understanding the danger that I was putting my wife in if I got too close. We were on scene and on scene we behaved as colleagues, even if the entire force knew I was married to her. We behaved with decorum and omitted her married name not only for her safety, but for mines and the kid's too.

Several uniforms and members of ESU blocked my path, and I tried relentlessly to fight them off. It was futile to keep my voice down, my call for her getting louder and louder. She turned, releasing her hair once her gaze locked with mine, _I love you_ , I mouthed to her, and before she had a chance to respond the main door for the building burst open and a running Jonathan tugging a crying and worried Sylvie emerged. I wiped at my tears and seeing their distraught little faces snapped me back to the moment. I pried the hands that were keeping me at bay from my body and called for Carisi and Rollins, meeting them halfway as Jonathan collapsed on my chest, "You did good, honey. You did good," I said, bringing my hand to his back as I held them tight.

Paramedics rushed to us and took the kids, "Rollins, keep them company. Carisi, find Marie," I barked the orders quickly and I turned to return to my spot several feet away from the form of my wife when she picked up the loudspeaker.

"Thank you, Damian. Lena, they're safe down here," she attempted to soothe.

" _Where's Marie?_ " he asked again.

"Damian, listen to me. You did good in releasing the kids, now release Lena so that we can make sure her and the baby are ok."

There was silence, a long deafening silence before he spoke, " _She's not going anywhere! You're a doctor, you come up._ "

My heart stopped beating momentarily when I heard those words. She couldn't go up, that was outside of her expertise, but he didn't know that. Knowing her, she would go up; just to make sure Lena was fine. Agonizingly slow I watched her shake her head, "I'm not _that_ type of doctor, Damian."

" _What type_ _ **are**_ _you then?_ "

"I—I'm a psychologist, Damian. I'm here to convince you to surrender yourself. I'm here to help _you_ , Damian. You need to let Lena go, Damian," she paused, "S—She's fragile, she's pregnant, s—"

" _Let Marie beg for her!_ " he shouted, causing Lena to jump, " _I want to hear Marie fight for_ _ **her**_ _life. Give me that satisfaction and I'll let her go, I—I—I'll stop._ "

I perked up at his admission, ok we could do something with that and I pressed the HT button, "Carisi, do you have Marie?"

" _Sure do, Lieutenant. We're about to see Rollins and the kids._ "

"Bring her out, this might be over soon," I mentioned to the radio.

"No, Liv," Alex mentioned quickly, her blue eyes widening behind her glasses.

"Alex, I have to keep her safe. That's my job."

Alex sighed and gave a small smile, "I don't know if you're talking about Lena or your wife, Olivia."

I lowered my head, hiding my face from the scrutiny of the blonde in front of me. If bringing Marie out could help us out, could help Victoria, and keep them safe in the process then I was going to do it. This was still my investigation and that one up there was _my_ perp. I was done with handling things the way OnePP wanted me to handle them. Damian had made the only demand he wanted fulfilled in the five hours we had all been standing here and worrying here, and I was hell bent on fulfilling it. No one knew we had Marie stashed and that would be my card to play in order to get closer to her, even if I had to send one of my guys forward in order to talk to her.

I saw Carisi exit the van where we were keeping Marie with her. Once outside of the van, he helped her clad her body with a Kevlar vest, and walked her towards me. Once in view, her cheeks were sodden, and she kept fidgeting with her wedding ring. I smiled, relishing in the calming effect the simple act could have over you.

How many times had Victoria caught me fidgeting with my wedding set after an argument, before one of her appointments, when I was nervous for court? And, how many times had I caught her pacing, mumbling her diagnosis or racking her brain whilst fidgeting with her wedding set? Even before an argument, that was always her telling sign, she would fidget with it. Circling it, taking it off, and putting it on, repeating the movements over and over again, until I either said something or she'd sigh and let it all hang out.

It was comforting to know that the thought of your significant other could cause you to fidget with the one thing that solidified your unity to the world. And, the thought of even losing that person that had placed that infinite object on your finger made you completely uncomfortable to the point that all you could was thumb the ring and think of how empty your hand would feel without it. As I was smiling and watching Carisi comfort the distraught woman, I caught myself fidgeting with my own wedding set, and I shook my head in amusement.

"Lieutenant, what's going on?" Carisi asked.

I sighed, "Lindworsky is ready to surrender, but he wants Marie to 'beg' for her wife."

"B—Beg?" Marie stammered, her blue eyes deep like that of the bottom of the ocean, "W—What do you mean beg?"

I sighed, "This is what will happen, we've given him too much leeway and Victoria did more in fifteen minutes than the negotiator did in all this time."

"Yea, but Lieu," Carisi begun, placing his hands on his hips, "they're not going to let you approach."

"That's why you'll be going, Carisi. Tell Victoria to wrap it up. Both she and Lena have to be checked by the EMTs."

Carisi nodded and took Marie by the elbow, walking towards Victoria. Immediately, several ESU members approached them and I saw Carisi defend and argue until Victoria whipped around with her brow furrowed. That look, the fire behind those icy grey eyes, I'd seen that look before. Whenever the boys were bickering with each other, when Cassidy had turned up her sass level, when Noah was being a brat after a lost game… I smiled and looked back at Alex, who had her arms across her stomach and a somber expression on her face. She hadn't noticed Victoria's eyes, but I had. I had noticed it. When she barked her 'enough' even I could hear the iciness in her voice. She had a small exchange with Carisi and glanced my way, giving me a small smile and a nod.

She grabbed the loudspeaker, "Hey Damian, I have someone who wants to speak to you."

She exchanged the loudspeaker with Marie, "Lena," she mewled, gaining attention from the distraught woman in the window. Lena shook her head and brought her hand to her mouth, "Lena, I love you. Damian… Damian, please let her go."

Lena disappeared from the window in a hurry, curtains replacing her frame. Marie sobbed into the loudspeaker, falling against Carisi's body. The negotiator tore away the device and begun barking at Damian, but nothing in response. I immediately made the call into the HT that we were ready to move in as soon as ESU and SWAT gave the order, and when I was getting ready to walk forward at their command, the door for the front of the building burst open, revealing a very pregnant Lena, serving as a human shield to Damian.

"Easy, Damian," I said.

"Drop it! I'm not going to hurt her," he retorted behind her body.

I breathed heavily when I heard her voice behind me, "Damian, you said you were going to let her go," I turned around, tears in my eyes as I looked at her pleading face, "You said you were going to stop, so stop. Let Lena go so that she can go be with her family and be checked."

"Victoria, what are you doing?" I said in a breathy whisper.

I heard the rip of the Velcro and I turned around again, watching her divest of her Kevlar. I took a shuddering breath, "Damian, now. You have to let her go."

I turned around, keeping my gun aimed at Lindworsky, "Y—You're pregnant, too," he said.

I saw as his eyes danced between Victoria and Lena. He raised his hands from Lena's shoulders and I grabbed Lena, placing my gun on my hip quickly. Before I could bark an order, Fin and Amanda had Lindworsky on the ground and were placing cuffs on him. Carisi had taken away Victoria, and as the fog settled, I made sure Lena was tended to. As Amanda and Fin walked past me, I heard Damian mumble under his breath, "She's pregnant." And, a shuddering wind ran through my body.

This wasn't good.

This couldn't be good.

* * *

 **A/N:** This took a life of its own, guys. I hope you enjoy it! ;) Let me know what you think!


	35. Maiesiophilia

_**Maiesiophilia**_

(Olivia's POV)

Amanda and Fin had stayed behind with Marie, Lena, and the kids making sure they went through the correct protocol when it came to being checked after a hostage situation. Especially Lena, being that she was in her last trimester and the stress of the situation could've sent her into premature labor and caused complications that no one foresaw or wanted. I had instructed them that as soon that was completed to leave unis with them to take their statement. The sooner the better and that way, we wouldn't have the need to drag them to the precinct. That was the last place anybody wanted to be after such an altercation.

After having placed Lindworsky under arrest, having passed him down to some unis to have him escorted back to the precinct, I had received a verbal lashing for my brash decision, but had been commended in the same breath. At that particular moment I was over and done with the higher ups of the NYPD. I'd dedicated my better years to them; you'd think they would trust me or at least my judgment and that of my squad's. But, where was Sonny? He had left with my wife and had gone somewhere with her. Alex had stayed behind with me and against her will, I had sent her to Casey whom I'd later learned was with my children in my home.

The precinct was eerily still. I had stalled and deviated my journey from OnePP to the station and now here I sat, waiting, and continually postponing my fate. I was upset with Victoria. I still didn't know where the hell Carisi had taken her after Rollins and Fin handcuffed our perp. I hadn't found them at the scene once the fog had started to clear and neither she nor Sonny were answering their phones. I sighed, running my hands down my face and turning the keys to power off the ignition. I gathered myself and entered the precinct, walking the familiar stretch from the employee lot to the elevator.

My thoughts were everywhere, but I just hoped that Victoria was ok. Yes, I was beyond livid with her and yes, I wanted nothing but to yell and scream at her, but that would have to wait for the privacy of our home. I wasn't about to put on a show for my squad and whomever else lingered around. The elevators opened and I stepped out, huffing, and fixing my jacket as I walked. I scratched my brow once I crossed the threshold of the hall and everything went still when I looked up.

Not much was going on. Amanda was at her desk, an apologetic smile on her face. Fin lain back on his chair, his left ankle supported by his right knee. And, Carisi was coming out of the break room, a cup of water in his hands. He averted his eyes and just continued to look at everyone except me.

"W—Where is she?" I asked calmly.

"I—In your office, Lieu," he answered. I started my walk, fidgeting with my thumbs as I paced towards my office. Carisi caught up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, "Liv."

I turned and smiled. I knew he was apologetic, but my anger wasn't placed at him, "She asked for w—water before you came in."

I nodded and placed my hand above his, giving a reassuring squeeze, "Thank you," I replied, grabbing the cup from his hand. I continued my walk to my office, thinking, and wondering what exactly would I say after I saw her. I sighed, placing a hand on the doorknob and taking a shuddering breath. Why was I so nervous to actually see my wife? Wasn't this what I wanted? To see her, to touch her, to have her in my arms, so why was I stalling in our encounter? I sighed once more and I pushed the door open, stepping inside the quiet area and scanning my office carefully. I knew where she would be sat at: the couch. It was where she always sat when she was in my office, especially now at this point of her pregnancy, "Tori," I mentioned softly, careful not to startle her.

She raised her head from her hands, her eyes red rimmed, "Liv," she responded, standing in haste.

I began my strut to her, damn near running to have her in my arms when I felt her collapse against my body. I wrapped my free arm around her, just remembering that I still had the cup of spilled water in my other hand. I inhaled her scent, mumbling her name against her neck. I could feel her body relax in my hold and I spoke against her flesh, "What the hell were you thinking, Victoria Thalia Paige?"

She giggled and pulled back, running her hands through my hair. She bit her bottom lip and held back my hair at the base of my neck, just letting her grey stare linger across my face, "Liv," she whispered contently.

I looked at the little space between us and how her protruding belly was pushing against my own, "Tori, what were you thinking?"

I felt my hair cascade down my side and her fingers around my chin, pushing my face up to meet her stare, "I was thinking about the kids that were being held hostage by a lunatic who fetishizes and subsequently enjoys killing pregnant women."

I sighed and even though I tried to hide my smile, I simply couldn't, "If you knew this, why did you go? I could've lost you, Tori," I whimpered, feeling my eyes collect tears, seemingly distorting the beautiful view I had on my wife.

She shook her head slightly and ran her thumbs underneath my lash line, "You would've done the same, Olivia. And, I knew you were going to be there. Even if I couldn't physically be with you."

I sighed and leaned forward to her lips. This woman was to be the end of me, but I'd rather die because of her than live without her. I was still incredibly upset with her and I knew this wasn't the end of Damian Lindworsky and my wife being in close proximity. We still had to interrogate him on the charges of the previous women we knew he had murdered, but had no proof other than the saliva collected at the crime scene. He needed to either confess or provide a DNA sample, but this wasn't to be as easy as it sounded. Damian thrived on preying on others, on making them feel and seem weak to whatever power he believed he possessed. But, that's why Victoria was here, she was the one that needed to tell us what was this obsession he had with pregnant women and if it was safe to have her in there with him with or without one of us in the box.

I had leaned my forehead against hers, sighing warily, "Are you ready?" she nodded and offered a shy smile.

We walked out of my office and I immediately left to the break room to fetch more water for her. Once I returned she had her hands placed on her abdomen and was rubbing gently at it. I handed her the cup and she took a healthy sip, turning on her hip briefly to place the cup on Fin's desk, "So, what the hell is wrong with this guy, Tori?" Fin asked.

Victoria sighed, "Maiesiophilia."

"What?" Carisi and Rollins said in unison.

She closed her eyes and tittered softly, "Pregnancy fetishism," she begun, "It may involve sexual attraction to women who are pregnant or _appear_ pregnant, attraction to lactation, or attraction to particular stages of pregnancy such as impregnation or childbirth."

"Ok," Fin interrupted, "What are you saying, exactly? That every man has this, this fetish?" he gesticulated with his hands.

"No, general attraction for your partner can go both ways. Whether or not she's pregnant," she finished with a smirk, glancing my way.

I shook my head and lowered my eyes to my shoes, "How can you sexualize something that's supposed to be so beautiful? I—I don't get it," Carisi mentioned. Leave it to him and his ever bleeding heart to turn this around. But, I enjoyed it. It made him a damn great detective and an even better man.

"It's not always that… easy to say the least. In the Journal of Sexual Medicine, a team of researchers found that early exposure to pregnancy and lactation could lead to an adult interest in pregnant women down the line. Older siblings are more likely to develop this kind of attraction than those who never witnessed the birth of a baby brother or sister," Tori explained, "Something very impressionable may have happened when he was young, and he eroticized it."

"No offense Doc, but I'm the oldest of my siblings and I don't _eroticize_ pregnant women," Carisi defended, hands on his hips.

"Yes, and you're also not your typical alpha male either, Carisi," Victoria chortled, gaining a confused look from the blonde man. She sighed and resumed, "Testosterone has been shown to influence a predisposition to fetishistic interests, which is why members of the pregnancy fetish community appear to be overwhelmingly male. There isn't much research on it, but most accounts indicate that men have much higher prevalence of object-oriented fetishes. That tends to come out as their sexuality develops."

"Jesus," Fin gasped.

"So, is there a particular phase that one goes through that forms this behavior?" Amanda prodded.

I listened carefully. Victoria was pregnant and about to round the corner of giving birth. I knew she wanted to breastfeed and having the boys be of such pivotal age, this topic was seemingly intriguing. Victoria nodded, "It's called the Oedipal phase, as proposed by Freud, is from ages three to five or six. If a boy's mother is pregnant around this time, the odds of this fetish developing are heightened, but not necessarily true."

 _What?_ "So, what _exactly_ happens in this Oedipal phase," I trailed off, gesturing in front of me.

Victoria glared at me, "In psychoanalysis, it's a stage in the psychosexual development of a child, characterized by erotic attachment to the parent of the opposite sex, _repressed_ because of fear of the parent of the same sex."

"Repressed?" I asked.

She nodded, crossing her arms, "Macho alpha bullshit."

Rollins snorted, "So, the more exposed a man was to his mother being pregnant and breastfeeding when he was in that phase, the more likely he is to be sexually attracted to pregnant and breastfeeding women."

She sighed, "Yes, but it doesn't have to be fetishistic. I need to evaluate him. A complete assessment needs to be done."

I scoffed and shook my head; "I'm not letting you in there with him, Victoria. Not after what we know. And, certainly not after what you've told us."

Victoria glowered at me, "Olivia."

"No, either I'm in there or that is _not_ happening."

"Fin," she called, "has he asked for a lawyer?"

"Yes, he lawyered up pretty quickly. He's in there actually, new guy named Joel Mooney."

Victoria nodded, "Has he let you know what his defense is?"

As Victoria finished her sentence the door for the box opened and out came the robust man. He had a limp to his step and a grumble to his voice when he finally spoke, "You must be the _infamous_ Lieutenant Benson," he addressed me, extending his hand.

I raised my brows and nodded, taking his hand in mine, "What can I do for you, Counselor?"

"Well, you can start by calling your DA. I'm ready to take my client home."

I scoffed, "Home? If by home you mean a six by eight cell."

He chuckled gruffly, "Beautiful and with a sense of humor, no wonder you're so… popular."

I glanced back at the squad and at Victoria whom had an amused smirk on her face, "Rollins, call Stone for Mr. Mooney."

As I turned, he did so as well, "Oh, and Lieutenant," I hummed, placing my hands on my hips, "I believe you have a… doctor of sorts on retainer?" he asked, gesticulating with his hands.

"She's FBI, she's not on retainer, _Counselor_. She's a liaison to the department."

"Tomato, tomahto," he replied, "We're going to need a full psychological assessment."

"And, it has to be her?" I asked shakily.

He smiled smugly, "Of course it has to be her. That way no one can say it was fixed."

I nodded and looked at the ground, "Of course," I mumbled.

I turned on my heel and faced my the team, "Stone says he'll be here in twenty minutes, Liv."

"Thank you, Amanda," I responded and sighed, not liking for a second the fact that Victoria was about to get what she wanted out of this, but what I couldn't understand was why I was still upset at this.

This was her job we were talking about, it's not like she blatantly decided to do this on her own. And, even if she was to refuse him as a patient, she had already been involved the minute she stepped foot at that crime scene. I didn't like this one bit, but again, we were at work and at work we kept decorum. I worried my bottom lip in thought. Thoughts of the endless possibilities that could happen once Victoria sat in front of Lindworsky, whether it was for a brief moment or two hours, he clearly was not stable and knowing that Victoria knew what his weakness was and at the moment, she _was_ his weakness. My gut was screaming at me and never once had my instincts led me astray, so why ignore them now?

"Tori, can I see you in my office?" I said quickly, already having started towards the office.

I heard the soft patter of her heeled boots and I allowed for her to step in and I closed the door behind her, "I know what you're going to say, Olivia and I can't just say no to this. I'm already involved and y—" I interrupted her rambling with my lips against hers.

I pushed into the kiss once I felt her body give in to me. I brought my hands to frame her face and I applied pressure, finding purchase on her tongue. Her hands accompanied the moan she elicited, pulling me as physically close as allowed towards her.

I broke the kiss once the need for air rose, but remained close enough to her lips that when she breathed out, the faint scent of cherry hit my nostrils. That's what she tasted like, I could pinpoint it now, "I won't allow for you to be put at risk, Victoria," I whispered against her lips, "You're a beacon of light in my life and I'll be damned if anything happens to you or our baby. If I can't be in the session then take Fin or Rollins or Carisi, but you will not do that session on your own. Please, Tori," I finished, resting my forehead against hers.

She took a shuddering breath and I felt her nod, "You and Rollins can both come, but you have to stay outside, Liv. I'll ask for the session to be held in a room where there's easy access if need be and you can have a view of me _from outside_."

I smiled and sighed, "It's all I ask," I finished, moving my head against hers.

"I love you," she sighed.

I tittered, "I love you more."

* * *

 **A/N:** It'll just get intense after this so again, I apologize beforehand! :) I still love you all for reading and sticking it out with me. Let me know what you think!


	36. June 17th

_**June 17**_ _ **th**_

June 17th  
10:49am  
Subject: Damian Owen Lindworsky  
Prognosis: Antisocial Personality Disorder  
Location: Bellevue Hospital—Psychiatry wing

One…  
I took a deep breath, throwing my head against my neck and releasing the breath quickly. I always got like this before a session, especially one with an unbalanced adult that I had already diagnosed with something.

Three…  
I paced the area I was standing at in circles with my eyes closed, wringing out my hands as I did so. This was not going to be an easy session. It's not that I was scared of Lindworsky or the types of comments he might have on my body, but I was worried that my being pregnant may impair his clarity. After all, it was his fetish.

Five…  
Seven…  
Nine…

"Are you ready, Dr. Reyes?" Mooney grumbled from the door that gave access to where they were holding Lindworsky for our session.

"Huh?" I asked, not particularly focused on my surroundings.

He sighed, "I asked if you were ready. Or are you going to keep circling your spot like a dog?" he smugly said, using his hand to accompany his so-called quip.

I glared at him and scoffed, "Is your client ready? We were supposed to start almost two hours ago. What's going on?"

"He, uh," Mooney paused, looking over his shoulder and back. He released the door and approached us, "He had to be medicated. According to the nurses, he had an… episode of sorts."

I rolled my eyes, "What did they give him? You know I can't go forth with the session if he's on barbiturates."

"Risperidone, two milligrams."

I nodded and sighed. I could still perform the session since the chosen antipsychotic's primary side effect was headaches instead of drowsiness. I looked back at Olivia and Amanda and gave them both a smile, "Both Lieutenant Benson and Detective Rollins are to be near the door at all times. I want his primary nurse and PCA on standby and I need his doctor on call as well. Is that understood, Counselor?"

He nodded and gave a wry smile, "You know Dr. Reyes, I'm sure your husband—just like me—appreciates your assertiveness."

I tittered in amusement, "She does appreciate my assertiveness, especially in bed," I retorted quickly, watching as the man widened his eyes, "Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a patient to see," I continued, side-stepping the robust man.

I heard Olivia and Amanda snicker behind me and then the start of their walks. Before I could reach the door where Lindworsky was being kept, I saw several medical personnel exit the room. I stood in front of the door and looked through its glass window. Olivia would have the perfect view of me as I sat across from Damian. I leaned my forehead against the window and sighed when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned.

"Please be careful," Olivia started, "I'll be watching you, Tori. I know you and if I see the faintest hint of hesitation or the slightest show of discomfort, I am ending the session," she paused, breathing heavily as she glanced back at Damian's attorney, "You are my priority," she whispered, "Regardless of Victoria, your safety comes first. Do you understand?"

I looked into the deep pools of chocolate and fire that were my wife's eyes. She always had something to say about my eyes, but even in their so-called commonality, she could never understand what those eyes did to me. Aside from our children's smiles, her eyes were my favorite things to look at and get lost into. She could never understand how easy it was for me to comprehend her emotions and the conviction she would put in them in just the way her eyes would give her away. She was worried for me and this went beyond me stepping into a room with someone whose fetish involved women that looked like me. Not looks wise but condition wise: pregnant. And, at this point, I looked and felt really pregnant.

I grabbed Olivia's hand in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I found her wedding set and toyed with it, "I always have you close, Liv," I whispered back and released her hand quickly.

I took a deep breath and grabbed the knob, turning and swinging the door open. Damian was sat at the end of the table, his hands placed neatly on display. He was wearing the patient uniform for the psychiatric wing, "Good morning," he offered.

I smiled and took my place across from him. As I sat, I retrieved from my back pocket my recorder and placed it atop the wooden table, "Good morning, Damian. My name is Dr. Victoria Reyes, do you remember me?"

He nodded, "Yes, you're the doctor that was on site when I was at Marie's house."

I glanced at the window and saw both Olivia and Amanda looking through, "That's right," I conceded, "And, do you know why I'm here?"

"Well," he begun, leaning forward, "my lawyer tells me you're going to assess me and determine whether or not I am fit for trial. A—Am I correct?"

I hummed, leaning back on my chair. If I could, I would've crossed my legs, but my enormous swell prevented that from happening so I crossed my ankles instead. Even before placing the device on record, he was exuding common traits of the disorder I believed he had.

I nodded, "You _are_ correct, Damian. Did Mr. Mooney tell you what to expect?" He shook his head, "All right, well I like to record all of my sessions in case I miss something or I want to go back and revisit this session later on to make sure I am making the correct diagnosis. Is that okay with you?"

"Yea, wouldn't be the first time someone's recorded me," he offered.

"Right," I said, reaching forward and turning on the device, moving it further from me so that it could pick up Damian's voice, "Dr. Reyes with Damian Lindworsky, 11:01am, June 17th, Bellevue Hospital. Damian, before I started the recording you said that it wouldn't be the first time that someone's recorded you, have you seen a therapist before?"

"Yes, when I was nineteen."

"Ok, how many meetings did you attend and for what issues?" I pressed.

He sighed, "Well Dr. Reyes, it's pretty obvious why I'm here. My love for pregnant women is not particularly normal, don't you think?"

"Everyone has a different perspective on what the problem is, and who or what the solution is. The point of counseling is to create positive changes as rapidly as possible without feeling hurried, Damian," I tried. He was trying to have me engage with him when what I needed was for him to engage with me. In a typical session, with a child, I would've provided my answer for the question, to make them feel at ease and trusted. With an adult, if I wasn't careful, I could be left vulnerable and that's _not_ the takeaway I wanted from this session. "What is the problem from your viewpoint?"

"People," he started, looking down at his lap with a smile, "or should I say, _women_ do not understand it—do not understand _me_ for it."

 _Yes, let's dive right into it shall we?_ "So, how does this problem typically make you feel? Do you feel sad, mad, hopeless, stuck or what?"

He placed both of his hands on the table, "Well it depends. If I really like the woman then it makes me feel sad and hopeless. If we're just brushing on the subject of children and she dismisses it crudely then mad, but I never feel stuck, as you put it."

 _Vague._ "What makes it better?"

He smiled, and usually a smile is contagious, but not his. His was grim, almost scary, and I shuddered, "Usually when they say they're open to children. It's not easy when they're so reluctant to the idea of being pregnant and baring children into this world. Why? What's so wrong about it? Shouldn't they, as women, be happy that a man is wanting to not only lay but be part of the process of giving them children and subsequently be there with her and them?"

 _This I can answer._ "Well Damian, just like everyone has a different perspective on what problems are, they have a different one on how their life should go for them. Not everyone wants what you want and as an adult, isn't that what may attract you to someone? Or are you out there looking for someone that may or may not exist?"

He paused, looking at me. What was he looking for? "Dr. Reyes, what about you and your husband, do you think you'd be married and sporting that ring if you didn't have the same perspectives?"

I smiled, "Yes, because our differences is what attracts me to them, not our similarities, Damian."

He was silent as he sat in thought. I couldn't exactly pinpoint if it was he detaching or if the risperidone was doing its job. It was several seconds before he offered a response, "But that's not what I want! God, I want nothing more than to find someone like me that would let me hold them down and fill them with my seed… being there with her for every single minute of the pregnancy, as her belly slowly swells, hanging low in her pelvis… to have the chance to have her deliver our baby into my waiting hands, moaning and writhing in pain as the head slowly crowns… this—this—this _fetish_ is almost unsatisfiable."

I hummed and leaned back on my chair, feeling my breakfast move about my stomach at the vivid description of what Damian wished for in a partner. My little Nugget delivered a few powerful blows and I winced slightly. They didn't hurt, but just the thought of having the unfortunate luck to sit across from Lindworsky and subsequently hearing him describe in such great detail an act that shouldn't be done to gain something other than love. He wanted this for his own personal satisfaction. He wanted this to feed and aid that itch that lurked within him, and I was utterly disgusted. I took a deep breath in and threw my head on my shoulders briefly, attempting to assuage the sudden bout of nausea that lingered around me.

I heard a faint knock on the door and I swiveled my head, shaking it softly to prevent from either Olivia or Amanda to come in. Damian was opening up to me and I needed to figure out where exactly did he go 'wrong'. I faced him once more, "When did you first notice your like for the fairer sex came accompanied with a little… twist?"

He chuckled, "I don't know. I think it was in the ninth grade when Eva Rivera started showing her pregnant belly around school."

Ah, teenage pregnancy sounds about right. "And, before that?"

He furrowed his brow, "The only other people I saw pregnant were my mother and my down the hall neighbor, Mrs. Blomqvist."

 _Childhood, we can talk about that now._ I hummed, nodding, "Do you have siblings?"

He scoffed, "I'm number three of seven. Apparently my father wanted a daughter, my mother stopped birthing after my sister was born."

"How was your relationship with your parents?"

He sighed, "Well, my two older siblings are twins, Daniel and Dennis. They were always with my father, and I developed a special bond with my mother, but my father always seemed to have a problem with that. The more I searched for my mother, the more my father pried me away from her."

"Do you recall a specific situation? When you remember it, go further to your childhood experience. Can you tell me what it was?"

He leaned back and laced his fingers together; "I couldn't have been more than six years old at the time. My mother was breastfeeding two of my siblings at the same time. Klaus was three and Alexander was one. Paul and I were playing by mother's feet when my father came in with Daniel and Dennis. He had great things to say about his oldest sons and how they would amount to the greatest things," he paused slightly, his face contorting into what I could only describe as disgust, "Anyways, I saw how my mother's face turned to pure happiness at the sight of my father so I stood and disappeared into their room and I dressed myself in my father's clothes. When I returned to show my mother, she smiled and reached for me, placing the tenderest of kisses to my cheeks as she cuddled me in her bosom. My father," he snarled, "couldn't bare to watch my mother showing me the least amount of affection so he beat me until my mother nearly begged him to stop," he snickered and shook his head, "He was always the jealous type, anyways."

I glanced down at my lap and smiled softly. He had given me the moment I'd wanted, but I could tell there was something else, something to this story that he had not told me yet. I understood where it came from, but I needed that impressionable and memorable moment in his life that formed and paved this fetish within him, "How was he jealous, Damian?"

"That night, I sobbed uncontrollably in my bed and I guess my father had had enough of my sobs and he sent my mother in to either shut me up or warn me of a much worst fate. But, instead, she allowed me to suckle."

I felt my eyebrow arch slowly and my posture became rigid. This was the moment that formed the fetish within him. He took his mother comforting him the only way she knew how and sexualized it. In his brain he thought that his mother chose him over his father—clearly—and possibly other siblings and somehow, to him that meant that she loved him more, "Was that the only time that your mother allowed you to suckle?"

He smiled and shook his head, "No. After that night, I would purposefully get in trouble with my father and cry at night so that my mother would come into my brother's and I room. After Nadine was born, it stopped. But by then, I was developing interest in other pregnant woman in my neighborhood, my teachers…"

"Tell me about Carissa, Lorraine, and Louise."

He tensed, but as quickly as he did, it dissipated, "What about them, they were bitches."

I cleared my throat and inched my chair close, "What makes them bitches, Damian?"

He leaned forward and remained silent, narrowing his eyes at me. I tittered and shook my head, "Damian, there's no reason to get defensive here. You murdered them. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about that," he said simply, crossing his arms against his chest.

I sighed, "And, I understand why you may not want to talk about it, Damian but unfortunately, that's a luxury you don't get to have. I am here to find out why, what drove you to murder them if all of you had parted somewhat amicably after ending your relationships."

His breathing had gotten shallow and I could clearly see that this was making him uncomfortable. I fidgeted with my wedding set in thought, "Ok, let's try this approach instead. What happened with Carissa?"

He sighed and pushed his tongue into his cheek, "We dated when she was in college. It was serious, or so I thought, but when I asked her to marry me she said no."

I nodded, "Ok, did she tell you why?"

"She wasn't ready."

"Was she willing to stay and make it work with you?"

"No, she broke up with me that day," he answered quickly.

"In the files it says that you had a toxic relationship with her, what made it toxic?"

He chortled and sniffled, "If you ask her parents, they'll say that I was 'stalking' her and always keeping tabs on her," he paused, "Name one boyfriend who doesn't worry for the wellbeing of his girlfriend? She was taking night classes for goodness' sake!"

"Looking out for her is one thing, wanting to know where she's at every minute of every hour is an entirely different thing," I offered with a smirk.

"Oh, spare me the lecture, Doctor. So—so, you mean to tell me that your husband doesn't know that you're here in psychiatric hospital wing?" he gestured with his hand.

"I _am_ a doctor, Damian and my _husband_ is aware of my profession. I was a doctor before we married."

"But, doesn't he get worried for your safety? You are pregnant," he continued.

"Of course he does, but I'm pregnant not disabled. And, I work with a lot people that know who my partner is, they'll make sure to pass on the information if anything does happen to me," I offered.

He was silent and it allowed for me to process what had happened so far during our session. Damian seem to be cognizant of what he had done when he was a child in order to gain his mother's attention, but was he cognizant enough to understand that what he had done required further punishment or was he truly impaired by his condition? There was only one way to find out, and though I was not looking forward to it, I needed to test out my theory. I knew I would hear about it later on in the day with Olivia, but this was my job and I had to take certain risks. Especially risks that I knew I could contain. I wasn't going to put in danger or risk him having a major set back just to satisfy my ego, no. I was going to push him and get him to where I needed him to be, but I was going to do so in the most professional and containable way possible.

I took a deep breath in, "Tell me about Lorraine."

He sighed, "What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you're willing to share, as long as it's the truth."

He nodded, "I dated her after Carissa, but I learned my lesson and I didn't propose. We were in love truly."

I furrowed my brow, "What do you mean by _truly_ , Damian?"

He chuckled breathily, "We were passionate."

 _Passionate? What the hell is he talking about? H—He doesn't mean…_ "You fought…?"

He grinned, "All the time."

I shook my head, "Did it ever get physical?"

He nodded as he spoke, "Where else do you think that passion came from?"

 _Jesus, that's delusional._ "Is that why you broke up?"

He sat back with a frown, "She said she would never bring children into this world. Not when she knew there were men like me out there."

I leaned forward, placing my hands atop the table, "How did that make you feel?"

"Useless. Lied to. _Offended_."

"Offended, huh," I mused, "And, Louise?"

"Louise was weak. She didn't have what Carissa or Lorraine had in her. I pitied her, you know." I raised my brows to allow for him to continue, "I mentioned kids and she said yes, I mentioned marriage and she said she'd considered it. I did whatever I wanted with her so much so that I started to feel like my father. She ended up being pregnant, too."

 _What? That is not in any of the case files._ "What happened?"

"Even her body knew she was weak so it rejected my seed. I'm too strong for her weak body. I needed a real woman, not someone so… frail."

I could feel my mouth salivating and I leaned back, placing my hand over my mouth. I took a deep, shuddering breath and I felt the contents of my stomach swishing inside of me. _No, please not now._ I heard the rattle on the other side of the door and I shook my head. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out through my nose, allowing for the nausea bout to pass on its own.

Damian hummed, "Nausea, you shouldn't be getting that at this point in the pregnancy. What are you, about twenty-nine, maybe thirty weeks pregnant?" I scoffed in amusement, ignoring his questions, "It's a boy, isn't it? I can tell by the way you're carrying high up," he shifted in his seat, "Boys want to be close to their mother's heart, that's why they nestle so high up in your ribs. I can also tell because from the back, you look like you're not pregnant at all."

I scoffed loudly and opened my eyes, "We won't know the gender of the baby until they're here, but thank you for your input."

He shrugged and smirked, "How's the sex?"

I threw my head back on my shoulders. I was not about to have this conversation with Damian, or anyone who asked about my sex life with Olivia. There had to be a way that I could bend him, and I knew just the way, "Why did you do it, Damian? Kill those three girls. They did nothing to you."

He paused and softened his features. _Oh, this is a game for you_ , "I—I don't know why I did it."

I hummed and narrowed my eyes, "Yes, you do."

"No."

"Damian, come on. You're too smart for that. You do know why you killed those girls, tell me."

He gritted his teeth and spoke, "No, I don't. Please, stop badgering me."

He was seething. Of course he knew why he'd done it, but he wasn't going to make it that easy for me. So, I tried a different approach, "Carissa, let's start with her. You proposed, she says no, breaks up with you, and ten years later she's happily engaged and expecting a child from her fiancé. But, he wasn't you and that wasn't what she had said, so what changed?"

"Stop."

"Let's take Lorraine, she says that she will _never_ have children, but she too was expecting when you murdered and raped her."

"I said, stop."

"And Louise, she was—and I quote—'too weak' to for _your_ seed, but another man's she could handle just fine. Have you stopped and think that maybe her body knew that you weren't good for her and that's why it rejected you from within her?"

"I said, stop!" he shouted, gripping the edge of the table, "Of course I thought about that! It's why I never lost communication with them. Carissa didn't want to marry _me_ , but she wants to marry the other guy that she has a serious relationship with? What did he have that I didn't? And Lorraine, bitch said she _never_ wanted children, but she lets herself get pregnant. And Louise," he seethed and spat at the ground, "I hate her for carrying another man's child."

I scoffed, "You're jealous."

"No!" he pushed, gripping at the table with each fall of his chest.

"Yes, you are Damian. You were jealous of their successes. They didn't want you as a partner, as a father to their children… rejection. That's what drove you to it, wasn't it?"

"Enough!" he bellowed.

"But, that didn't stop you, did it? You stalked them…"

"Stop it!"

"You terrorized them…"

"No!"

"You went inside their homes, for what, Damian? To question them on their life choices?"

I saw how his eyes changed and protectively, I placed my hand on my stomach. I had pushed a little too hard, but I had gotten the results I wanted. I went to stand, feeling my feet get tangled with the chair's legs when he pushed the table towards me, bumping me on my hip. The force of the tap, send me toppling down to the ground where I was able to aid my fall with my opposite hip and hands. Within seconds, Olivia, Amanda, Mooney, and nurse were in the room. Amanda came to my side, as Olivia stood between Damian and I.

"No, I went to their homes to show them that no matter what, I was the best they could ever have."

I whimpered and shook my head, taking Amanda's arm so that she could pull me to a stand. Several other nurses came inside the room and sedated Damian to allow for transport whilst Amanda walked me out and away from the room. I had my diagnosis and I had the decision. Now, I needed to type a report, hear Olivia's scolding, and pray that she had grabbed my recorder on her way out.

Amanda had walked me to the emergency department of the hospital. She insisted on me being checked. I knew if I refused, Olivia's scolding would only get lengthy, so I acquiesced. As the doctors asked questions, nurses checked for vitals, and I was leaned back for a quick ultrasound, Olivia walked in my room. She went directly to Amanda, "Could you take this to her office?" she said, handing her the recorder.

Amanda nodded and briefed Olivia on what the doctor's had said and walked out, "Ok, Dr. Reyes, everything is looking in shape. Baby has a steady heartbeat and aside from being sore for a couple of days, you are good to go as well."

I smiled weakly and nodded, "Thank you, Dr. Agashe."

The woman nodded and exited the room, "Do you want to go home or the office?"

 _What was going on? No yelling, no 'you're unbelievable, Tori,' nothing?_ "Liv," I begun.

"Did you drive up here?" she continued speaking, ignoring my call for her.

"Oli—"

"Tell me now so that I can go to precinct and see what else are we working on."

"Liv!" She turned to see my watery lash line. I hated when it was this Olivia the one I got; the distant, cold Olivia. I'd much rather any other form of her anger, but the distance, the iciness she exuded hurt more than any of the words in her arsenal. I could handle pretty much anything at this point, but not her being mean to me.

She closed her eyes and hung her head, placing her hands on her hips and walking towards the bed. She wrapped her arms around my torso and pulled me flush against her, "Twice Tori, I wanted to pull you out twice," she breathed against my neck.

I sniffled, "I know, I—I'm sorry," I whispered, "Be mad all you want, Olivia. Yell at me, scorn me, punish me however you see fit, but don't ignore me, please. Don't deny me your touch, your love, please. I—I can't take it."

I turned my head to press my lips to the hollow of her shoulder, feeling my tears fall down my face, "Come on, baby," she said in a breathy sigh, "let's get you home. I'll tell Amanda to swing by the house to get me once I have you settled."

I nodded and broke our embrace. Our stares locked on the other immediately and I smiled weakly, leaning forward to place my lips on hers. She hesitated, but reciprocated the kiss. She was beyond upset and I needed to understand that. I did understand it. I had put myself in willing danger after she had damned near begged me not to do so. She was still upset about me being on site the evening of the hostage situation and I had just added more wood to said fire by blatantly dismissing her tries for help. As we walked out to find our Suburban that I continuously kept since she had her official NYPD SUV at all times, I held on to her. I was afraid that at any moment that I would let go of her hand, she would be gone. Though I knew that to be impossible, in my fragile state, anything was possible.

I thought back to my session with Damian. He had said and asked some probing questions that were now sitting in thought with me. Like the question he had asked about my 'husband' and if 'he' enjoyed my line of work. In the years I'd been married to Olivia, she knew my dislike for her job at times. Especially when said job kept her from the safety confines of our home, but what did she think about my job? She had never once ill expressed something about my job.

The door shut on the other side of the cabin and I looked up, "D—Do you hate my job?"

I felt the hum of the Suburban come to life, "What? Why would say that?"

"Do you?"

She looked at me, a small smile on her face, "I don't hate your job, Tori. I hate the situations it has put you in. With Vienna, up state, taking you away at the beginning of the year, today… but, I don't hate it. I love the way you're so involved with it, and I love the way your job brought you to Cassidy and me. So no, baby, I don't hate your job."

I smiled sheepishly, "I—I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "Stop, please. We'll fight about that tonight," she said with a smirk, "I'll sleep with Cassidy until roughly two in the morning when you wake up and come searching for me saying the baby needs me. I'll give in because I'm a pushover for that little one, and I'll kiss you good night and tell you how much love you regardless of how angry you make me. You'll apologize for the fifth time and reply your love to me, and we'll be ok," she giggled, "No matter what, Tori, I'll always forgive you because I love you."

"And, I love you, but I'm not sure how much more you'll love me after I write my report."

She sighed, "He's not competent."

I shook my head, "Antisocial Personality Disorder. One minute he can be fine the next, he's pushing a table into a pregnant woman's stomach. I'm sorry."

She shrugged, "A psychiatric hospital is better than an apartment downtown."

* * *

 **A/N:** One more installment with Lindworsky and after that, we'll see happier times for the Bensons.


	37. Ten Codes

_**Ten Codes**_

After the incident at Lindworsky's my Chief of Staff had ordered me to cut back on the cases. I was to be on call and would only go to the office on Mondays and Fridays, and if at any moment SVU were to need me, than I was to show. Knowing Olivia, she would exhaust every other option before having to call me in.

Being able to stay with my children during their summer vacation at home had truly been wonderful. We went out to the parks, and we always seemed to be out of the apartment when Olivia would make it home at night. My Braxton-Hicks were more constant now that I was thirty-three weeks pregnant. Our little Nugget was bound to be here and we still hadn't worked on the nursery, we still hadn't moved, and our agent was stalling on the closing of the apartment we had chosen and found.

Currently, I was sat in the living room, legs propped up, watching the kids play on their videogame console. I was laughing at my oldest two and their losing streak against the twins.

"You guys are cheating," shouted Cassidy between laughter.

"They have an advantage that we don't have, Cassie," Noah continued.

The boys giggled and looked at each other. I recognized the look in their eyes, they were communicating with the other, "You played it wrong, babies. You should've separated them, that way, both teams would've had the chance of winning."

Cassidy threw her hands in the air, "Divide and conquer!"

I laughed, "Exactly jellybean."

I felt Nugget move about my womb and I rubbed my exposed belly. This last trimester, just like with the twins, I'd been particularly warm. My attire consisted mostly of sports bras and shorts when in the home. Olivia loved it, she could have me at any moment and she'd have easy access to my body. The kids were getting ready to start another game when my phone rang.

"Baby," I husked.

" _Hi Tori_ ," Olivia responded, and if I knew anything, she had a smile on her face, " _how are you feeling?_ "

I rubbed my swollen stomach and shrugged, "Braxton-Hicks are a bitch, but nothing I can't handle."

" _You'll call me if anything doesn't feel right, right?_ "

"Of course ma, why wouldn't I?"

She sighed, " _I know you think I'm still upset over Lindworsky, and I am, but I love you._ "

I smiled, "And, I love you, Liv. Nugget is wide awake right now," I mused.

" _Yea,_ " she said with excitement, " _How about I pick up lunch for us and I'll be there in let's say fifteen minutes? We're having a slow day._ "

I smiled and rubbed at my active belly, "That sounds really nice. The kids will love having you by, baby."

" _Don't tell them anything yet, I'd like to surprise them._ "

I giggled, "You're lucky they're playing that game you got them. Otherwise, you know I'd be fighting for the phone."

Olivia chuckled, " _All right baby, I love you. I'll see you soon._ "

"I love you too, be safe."

Olivia hung up shortly when Cassidy turned around, "Was that your wife, Dr. Reyes-Benson?"

I chortled and rolled my eyes, "Why yes it was, Counselor Benson. Are you opposed to me speaking to my wife?"

She grinned, showing off her beautiful smile, "I am when you hinder my siblings and I from speaking to her."

I gasped, "Hinder?" she crossed her arms against her chest and raised her brow, "You're lucky I can't chase you around this apartment, but just you wait until your sibling gets here. You'll pay for that."

Cassidy laughed and placed her controller on the floor, standing to walk towards the couch, "I was only joking, Mama."

"Oh, now you're joking?" I said, reaching to tickle her side, "No retractions, young lady."

She laughed heartily when our door rapped with knocks. I furrowed my brow and glanced at the wall clock. I had only hung up with Olivia roughly five minutes before, it was impossible she had done all she said she would in such short time, and why would she knock?

I looked at Cassidy with a perplexed look and shrugged, lowering my legs from the ottoman and going to stand. I groaned as I felt the strain of my muscles. The door rapped once more with knocks, this time desperately and I groaned. I picked up my pace as much as I could and reached the door. As I looked through the peephole, whoever was on the other side, had covered it with their finger.

Maybe it _was_ Olivia after all. I shook my head and worked on the locks, "That took you remotely nothing, Liv—"

"Liv? Who's Liv, Doctor?"

I hitched a breath and grasped at my stomach, "D—Damian, what are you doing here?"

He grinned maniacally, revealing his hands and the shiny metal piece in them. He pushed the door open, "Am I not allowed in?"

I took a deep breath, "My children are here, Damian. My youngest are three, you can't do this to them."

I could feel the tremble of my hands, but he needed not to know that I was feeling that way, "O—Ok," he said, tucking his gun in his waistband, "Where are they?"

"In the living room," I conceded, walking backwards as he approached me. He grabbed at my arm and dragged me towards the open area.

"Mama," Cassidy gasped, "What's going on? Who are _you_?"

Damian squeezed at my arm and I saw how all three of my boys took their eyes off of the TV. I cleared my throat, "Babies, why don't we say hi to Daddy's friend, Damian."

Noah furrowed his brow, "D—Daddy, Mama," I squinted my eyes briefly and saw as the boy registered everything I needed to say, "How do you know our Dad?"

"What?" Cassidy questioned, looking at Noah. Their exchange wasn't lengthy, but she understood.

"He works with your father, don't you Damian?"

Damian squeezed at my arm and I yelped, "Get them out of here, now!"

I took a shuddering breath. I needed to think of something and I needed to do so quickly. Our building had a playroom for the kids downstairs, "Cassidy, why don't you take your brothers down to the playroom for a little while. You can see if Casey or Alexandra are downstairs, or maybe even Victor?"

Cassidy smiled, "Ok Mama, I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

I saw as Cassidy grabbed both Hunter and Hudson and Noah followed suit. They all disappeared into their rooms and Damian had finally released my so that I could walk my children out and away from any harm. I knew Cassidy had understood what I was trying to say. Victor was the older gentleman that worked our front desk. You didn't need a code to access the elevators unless you were coming up from the garage, and if Damian had a gun, that probably meant he threatened someone with it to allow for him to come up with them.

I took one last look at my children and I felt the stinging threat of my tears, accompanied by the feeling of tightness in my throat. Once I turned I was met with a slap to my face. It wasn't hard, but it stung, "Quite the brood you have there, Dr. Reyes."

I cupped my cheek, "Damian, how did you escape the facility and how are you here? How do you know where I live?"

He turned around in haste, gun wielded and pointed at my face, "I'll be the one asking the questions this time, Dr. Reyes. For example, you're expecting someone named Liv, who's Liv?"

I stammered, "It's—It's Liev, my husband."

He guffawed, "So, Reyes is _your_ surname?" I nodded, "Why not take your husband's surname? You've given him five heirs already," he asked, moving the gun from my chest to my stomach and back again.

"My work is dangerous," I smirked, "It's so that I can protect my children."

He pouted and sniffed, wiping at his brow with the back of his free hand, "Well call him and tell him that you don't want him to come any longer."

I shook my head, "I can't do that, Damian. That will only raise his suspicions and he'll want to be here faster after that."

"T—Tell him that you took the kids out to play," he tried again.

"Damian, he knows I'm supposed to be resting. He's not going to believe that."

"WELL, MAKE SOMETHING UP," he shouted, causing me to flinch. The hand holding the gun wavered and he sniffled again, "Make something up," he tried softly.

I held my protruding abdomen, attempting to stop the shake of my hands, "Ok," I whispered, "Ok."

I moved with hesitation, trying to keep Damian in my line of vision, but also trying to prevent him from actually entering the living room or approach other parts of my home where a multitude of pictures of Olivia, the kids, and I were on display. I grabbed my phone from the couch and walked back to Damian, making the call. I pressed my phone to my ear and prayed that Olivia didn't answer so that I could leave a message.

Ring after ring I listened, until Olivia's voicemail box message played loudly in my ear, "I got the voicemail," I said looking up at Damian. I waited until the end of the message to place the phone on speaker. I had used the time it took the phone to ring to think of something to say that would tip Olivia off without sending bells to Damian, "Hey there, ten. Listen, I know you said you were going to be home in _fifteen_ minutes, but no need. The kids went to lunch with Casey and Alexandra's parents so it's just me. Also ten, I have told you _thirty-two_ times to not leave your coffee mug by the bed and this morning I woke up and spilt what was left in it. You're going to drive me insane, ten. But, I'll keep telling you, even if I have to repeat myself _ninety-eight_ more times. I love you, and see you later."

I hung up and looked up at Damian, "Is your husband Russian?"

"Does it matter, Damian?"

"Why did you call him 'ten'?"

"Because," I smiled at the ground, "he's my ten."

Damian scoffed and sniffled, _what is it with the fucking sniffling?_ "I—I just thought he was."

I sighed and gripped at my stomach, "C—Can I sit? My back is hurting."

Damian nodded and I slowly approached the bar to sit on the stools, now to wait until Alex, Casey, or Olivia could put an end to this.

* * *

(Olivia's POV)

I had gone to pick up food for Victoria, the kids, and I. It had been a little bit since I could just see them play and spend time with them during the day. SVU cases would pick up during the summer and it was always hard for me to be home at a decent hour to at least get to see my kids be put to sleep. Even though I would make it a point to take almost two weeks off to take them up to the Adirondack Mountains to Tori's aunt and uncle's home, I wanted and craved more time with them.

As I returned to the SUV, my phone's screen lit up with a voicemail message from Tori. I furrowed my brow and played the message, " _Hey there, ten. Listen, I know you said you were going to be home fifteen minutes, but no need. The kids went to lunch with Casey and Alexandra's parents, so it's just me. Also ten, I have told you thirty-two times to not leave your coffee mug by the bed and this morning I woke up and spilt what was left in it. You're going to drive me insane, ten. But, I'll keep telling you, even if I have to repeat myself ninety-eight more times. I love you, and see you later._ "

"What?" I said to myself, looking at the screen and replaying the message. As I listened to the message for a third time, I felt my stomach turn. Something wasn't right, but what? And, who the hell were Ca— "FUCK!"

I placed the car on drive and sped back towards the precinct. Once I parked, I rushed back to the inside, only to find my squad on the phone with Casey and Alex, "Liv," Fin begun, "something is going on at your house."

I breathed out harshly, attempting to catch my breath, "Yes, I know. I just received a weirdly cryptic voicemail from Tori."

Carisi approached me, "What does it say, Lieu?"

I handed Carisi the phone with the voice message on display. He pressed the phone to his ear and walked away, "What the is going on, Rollins!"

"I don't know, Liv. Here," she said, pressing the speakerphone button on her desk phone, "Casey, Alex?"

" _Amanda, is Liv back?_ " I heard Alex plead.

"Alex," I said shatteringly.

" _Olivia! Cassidy called my office, but she got my assistant instead. She asked to be transferred to Casey and when Casey answered she told her that some guy named Damian was at the apartment and that Tori had said 'Daddy' instead of 'Mommy' when referring to you._ "

"Oh my God," I felt the bile rise rapidly inside of me and I placed a hand on my forehead, "D—Did she call the cops? Where is she? Are Noah and the boys with her?"

" _She said they're downstairs with Victor. Casey told her to wait there and to not call the cops just yet until we had spoken to you._ "

"A—Alex, can you get to them?"

" _I'm due back at court in an hour, Liv. But, Casey is on her way,_ " I closed my eyes and sighed, thank God for Casey, " _How the hell does he know where you live, Olivia?_ "

Before I could answer Carisi came running back, shouting my name, "She's using ten codes, Lieutenant."

"How'd you get that from a voicemail, Carisi?" Fin prodded.

"Here, here, listen," he said pressing on the screen to play the message. Tori's velvet voice played smoothly as we listened to her message, "Notice how she's saying ten? After she says ten she uses another number. She said, 'hey there _ten_ ', and then followed it by ' _fifteen_ minutes'."

"10-15 Liv, that's a civil disturbance," Amanda mentioned as she stood.

Carisi nodded, "Yes, yes, and then she says, ' _ten_ , I told you _thirty-two_ times'."

"10-32, person with a gun," I breathed out harshly, running my fingers through my hair, "Shit."

"And finally she says, " _ten_... repeat myself _ninety-eight_ times," Carisi renewed.

"10-98, prisoner escape," Fin mentioned angrily, "All right, Rollins put a message out to ESU and call Dodds. Carisi, call Tori's boss and make sure Novak has the kids."

"Fin," I started.

"No, Liv. Your wife is involved in a hostage situation and I am not gonna let this prick harm her. You have to sit this one out," he said with conviction.

" _He's right, Liv,_ " said Alex whom I had temporarily forgotten was on the line, " _You cannot be involved in this._ "

"It's my wife," I bellowed.

"She's one of us, Liv," Amanda said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "We have to do this right if we want to nail his ass to the wall."

In the following hours, everything seemed to go by in slow motion. I was able to meet with Casey and drown my kids with my love. I had commended my little fire engine and my boys for their bravery, not everyone that's placed in their position handles it as such. The unis had taken them for interviewing purposes with me in the room, and once more they had handled everything beautifully. I was proud of my children. I was always proud of them, but seeing them be so resilient and adamant about what was going on filled my heart with a little bit of extra contentment. After the police had taken their statements, I had called Emilio and Vivian whom were devastated and freaked out about the situation. Damian and Tori both had to know that by now, there was ESU surrounding the building and my squad was outside of my door ready to make the bust.

"Fin," I called through the HT, glancing up at my building.

" _Yea Liv_."

"Status update?"

There was a brief pause, " _He's demanding_ _ **Liev**_ _to come inside the dwelling. He thinks Tori is married to a man._ "

I scoffed and glanced at Dodds who stood next to me, "You have to let me go in there, Dodds. That's my wife."

"And, put you both at risk? No Olivia, that guy is a psychopath."

"He's not!" I grumbled.

"And, how would you know, Lieutenant," he challenged.

"I just know. Being married to a shrink, you pick up a thing or two."

He narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head, "Let me see what I can do," he finished as he disappeared through the front entrance of my building.

I paced the sidewalk, running my hands through my hair, and sending continuous prayers up above. Why didn't I rush home when I said I was going to? I could've been there to protect her, to protect them all from happening. According to the kids, he came by after I had hung up with her so it wouldn't have been much different, would it? Why didn't I think of it sooner? I growled and kicked at some trash on the sidewalk. Berating myself wasn't going to help my wife, and even if I was able to do something, all I could do at this point was pass the information down. I wasn't allowed to take place in what was happening, not if I wanted Lindworsky's charges to stick. And this time, he wouldn't be sentenced to a psychiatric hospital, he would be sent to a psychiatric prison wing.

I saw Dodds exit my building after roughly an hour of being in there, "What the hell, Dodds?"

"Olivia, calm down. We sent Carisi in, he's g—" two shots rung out through the building. I could place them, clear as day and I whimpered, feeling myself take several steps back as the air left my body.

I went to run forward, but was stopped by the arm surrounding my waist that I quickly placed as Dodds. He gripped and pulled me to his body, preventing me to go forward into my home. I screamed out her name. I clawed at Dodds' arms and begged him to let me go.

"Olivia!" he shouted, "You have to calm down, let the ESU and your team do their jobs. Are you going to be calm?"

He was right. I needed to be levelheaded if I wanted this to end. I nodded and he released me. I sighed and turned, placing my back to the building. I ran my fingers through my hair and puffed when I saw Lindworsky being escorted out on a stretcher. He had no apparent signs of gun shot wounds, but he was writhing in pain. A few more minutes went by and Tori and Carisi exited the building, Victoria in a gurney.

"No," I mewled, running towards my wife. As I reached the gurney, I spoke, "Tori, Tori, talk to me," I ushered quickly, running my fingers through her hair.

She breathed out harshly, struggling with her words, "I—I'm fine, Liv," she said, turning her head to face me, "I—I s—shot him."

They had placed an oxygen mask on her, "W—Where did you shoot him? With what?"

She chuckled and coughed, "You _do_ know I carry a service weapon, Lieutenant, don't you?" she looked at me and smiled, raising her hand to run her thumbs across my cheekbone, "I just choose to have the first three bullets as rubber ones. I don't deal with hardened criminals, just mentally unstable people. They don't deserve to die."

I snickered and removed her mask briefly, placing my lips on hers quickly, "Oh, I thought I lost you, Tori," I whispered against her mouth.

She smiled, keeping her eyes closed, "Never in a million years, Lieutenant."

"D—Did he hurt you, Tori?"

I felt her shake her head, "No, Liv. I'll need a few sessions, but I'm fine. I promise. I don't want to go back to that apartment anymore, Olivia."

I nodded and shushed her when commotion broke out. I tried to point where it was coming from, but everything had mixed in together. Cops, paramedics, civilians, my squad, but then I saw him through all the fog. Quickly limping towards me after having elbowed a few uniforms and effectively shooting one of the ESU members catching them on the vest. His lip was curled in a snarl, his eyes were an eerie obsidian color; he was upset—clearly—and he was coming towards me. Towards Victoria and I. Unacceptable. I placed my hand on my belt clip when he raised his arm, pointing the barrel of a cop issued arm at my chest.

"I'd think twice if I were you, _Liev!_ " he sniffled and heaved.

I heard Victoria whimper behind me, "Carisi, take Tori away."

"No," she shouted, "No, I'm staying right here."

"Tori, come on," Carisi begged.

"No, I'm staying right the fuck here, Sonny," her voice was calm, soothing almost, "Back away, Sonny. Please."

I sighed and shook my head, "What do you want, Lindworsky."

"The truth from your little lying whore back there," he sniffled again.

"Come on Damian, you know this won't work out well for you," she began, "I never lied."

"You didn't exactly correct me either, Doctor! Why didn't you say you were married to a woman?"

"My private life is private," she answered simply.

"Damian, put the gun down," I tried, "Put the gun down and we can resolve this. All of it."

He sneered and shook his head, "Grab her gun, Doctor."

"What?"

"GRAB IT!" he shouted. I felt Victoria's hands on my hips, quickly undoing the clip and sliding my weapon out of its holster, "Aim it at her head."

I could hear Victoria's broken breaths, the sharp intake of them like bullets through her mouth. She was trying to keep calm whilst Lindworsky still had the barrel pointed at my chest, "Liv," she said shakily.

"It's all right, baby. Just, do as he says."

I felt the cool steel on my temple and I nodded, watching as Damian snickered at the scene unfolding in front of him. Everything had gone quiet, no one dared say a word, "Pull the trigger, Doctor. That way your children can be part of a _real_ family."

I heard Victoria gasp lightly, "Liv," she said softly.

"I know Tori, I know," I needed to provoke him somehow, "Damian's jealous, right? Isn't that what you said? Does he wonder about our sex life?"

Victoria snickered, "He does, but he'll never take me to the heights you do, Liv."

Damian shouted, taking a start towards us, and Victoria turned the weapon away, giving me a chance to quickly react when the three shots rang through the scene. I trained my gaze to the lifeless body of Damian, surrounded by members of ESU and then upward to the trembling arm of my wife. I stood, placing my hands on her wrist, "Baby, you're ok. Let go of the gun," I gently pried the weapon off of her hand and immediately wrapped my arms around her, feeling her limp body shake with sobs, "It's over. You're safe now."

* * *

 **A/N:** We're done with Lindworsky, happy times ahead and I think the end is near for this series guys. It's been a good run, but I have to focus on 'The Assistant' which might I add, is going to turn out really good. Let me know what would you like to read on this. :)


	38. Placed Blame

_**Placed Blame**_

A Saturday afternoon in August and seemingly the hottest day thus far during this scorching hot summer. After the entire ordeal with Lindworsky a couple of weeks back, I had pressured and threatened to drop our current real estate agent if she didn't add pressure to the agency that was in charge of selling us our new home. Olivia, Alex, and Casey were surprised at my constant outbursts to our agent, but I wanted out of the home we were in. Damian had roamed, touched, lounged, and taken in every corner of that apartment—or so it seemed—and I didn't want my children or myself any longer in there.

We had effectively moved with the help of Fin and Sonny, as well as Amanda, Jesse, and my father. Thankfully, thanks to my ever clever wife, we had found a new home nearly a block away with everything that we wanted and desired. We were equally ecstatic that we didn't need to cross the park to find a home, and we were still close to every place we needed to be. It was most definitely a needed upgrade, now that our children were growing and wanted their privacy, though the same rule applied—open door policy at _all_ times.

All the rooms were equipped with their own bathroom with the exception of Hunter and Hudson's room, but it was the room with the second largest closet and all around space after ours. We had a guest room to the right of the master, the nursery to the left, and in front of the master's door were two more doors, which the left one belonged to Cassidy and the right one to Noah. We had a gallery and foyer at the end of the hallway where the living room was as well as the kitchen and a great room that housed our formal dining room set.

The kitchen was equipped with a beautiful marble island where we could have our breakfast and be together without necessarily being on top of each other. Our brood had grown and expanded and we most definitely needed the added room and space. That was of course, my favorite part and the one I was not going without. Olivia's favorite part and where you could find her almost always, since our move was in front of our floor-to-ceiling windows in our corner living room. We had sacrificed a balcony on this particular building just to have that beautiful view that I knew brought peace to my wife.

As I finished placing my garment on, I stood from our bed, waddling to the closet and shouting for Noah, "Yes, Mama?"

I smiled and turned, "Baby, could you be so kind and help me put these heels on?"

He smirked and crossed his arms; "I'm supposed to tell Mommy about this."

I sighed, "Noah Porter-Benson, don't you dare," I playfully scolded when he shouted for Olivia.

Olivia came rushing with Hudson on her hip, "What's going on, Noah? Is Tori—"

"Mama wants to wear heels," he said simply and I hid my face from the beautiful face of my son.

He was wearing a black button down dress shirt, grey trousers with brown dress shoes and matching suspenders. Hudson was wearing a three-piece set comprised of a grey vest and striped pants with a white button down and no doubt Hunter was wearing the same with a different color button down with their black dress boots. And, Olivia… my beautiful Olivia was wearing a wine knee length dress in a form fitting jersey fabric. It was sleeveless with a scoop neck and a shirred waist with nude sandal heels.

I smiled and bit my lip, "Where's Cassidy? Is she ready?"

Olivia smirked and scoffed, "Do _not_ change the subject, Victoria. Why do you want to wear heels? No."

I pouted and whined, "Liv," I said elongating the syllable, "It's not fair."

I could feel the threat of tears in my overly sensitive state when she put Hudson down, "Go help your brother tie his boots and send your sister in so that Mama can do her hair," the boys nodded and left, Noah mumbling an apologetic 'sorry' on his way out. Olivia walked towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist, "Stop with the pouting," she said with a smile, "You're wearing this beautiful gown that reaches the floor, you can wear your ankle strap ballet flats."

I sniffled and sighed, looking up at the ceiling to avoid my tears from falling, "I just want to look good for you, Liv."

"Oh baby," she said in a breathy whisper, "who says you don't?"

I fixed my stare on her smile, zooming in on the part her lips had created as she grinned at me. Red would always be my favorite color on Olivia, especially after having spent twelve days up in the Adirondack Mountains at my aunt and uncle's house near the lake. I blinked rapidly, "I was never this big. Not even with the twins," I paused, biting my lip, "You haven't touched me in weeks."

"Tori," she spoke, moving her hands at the small of my back, "look at me," I obliged, staring deep into pools of fire, "What are you saying?" I couldn't bring myself to answer so I remained silent, "Baby, we left for the Adirondacks after what happened with Lindworsky. We couldn't have sex at the house because your cousin was there with his family and Cassidy did not want to sleep in a room full of boys so she was sleeping with us. Once we returned we got busy with moving. We've only just settled into our new home and you've been devoting your time to the nursery. It's not because I haven't had the desire to touch you, Victoria. It's because life has happened."

I sighed and felt a thick lump form in my throat. I swallowed, bringing said lump down to settle in my stomach. She was right, a lot had happened. But, I wanted her. I needed her, and between my humongous belly and the discomfort of being lain flat brought upon me, it was completely difficult to make this happen. Her reassurance reverberated through my brain and as she allowed me to let her words sink in, she brought her lips to my forehead. I moved my chin to place my lips on hers, parting them quickly to feel her tongue invade my mouth. I moaned softly into the kiss, my body on quick overdrive when we heard soft giggles.

We parted slowly and I smiled, tasting Olivia on my lips, "Really, back in the closet?"

Cassidy and that smart mouth, what monster had we created? Olivia roared in laughter and turned, "That's _your_ kid, Victoria. _Your_ kid," she laughed as she exited our walk-in closet, playfully bumping her daughter on her way out.

I shook my head, eyeing my daughter's ensemble. She was wearing a lilac floral lace dress with crochet straps and a scoop neck with silver gladiator sandals, "That was funny, Cassidy."

She chortled, shrugging as she approached me to do her hair. After I was done with that task, she helped me ease into my ankle strap ballet flats and we immediately left afterwards. We were to spend the later part of our afternoon and early evening at a family dinner charity gala where the _Fes el bé_ _Foundation_ was to receive a string of awards. My Braxton-Hicks contractions had been acting up ever since the situation with Lindworsky at the old apartment, but at this point, I had learned to ignore them and only wince or hiss when they were truly unbearable.

We were to meet the Cabot's there and we were to sit together as well. Every family that meant something was to be at the event and the Reyes' along with the Cabot's had always made it known that we were to sit at the same table. Upon arrival, Olivia located the valet personnel and as they helped me out of the SUV, and subsequently my children, Olivia circled the SUV, wrapping her arm around my waist and kissing my temple. As we approached the steps that would give us access to where the event was being held, a crowd of photographers and media personnel continuously snapped pictures of us.

We heard words of appraisal as we pushed through the crowd. I was never one to stand and pose for the cameras; _that_ was Vienna's job. I faltered at the thought of my sister—as I found myself doing so regularly—and I cleared my throat, catching Olivia's attention. I shook my head and smiled, seemingly putting to an end her oncoming questions.

Inside the madness continued. My parents—or should I say, my mother—always expected for me to tour the grand room, exposing myself and my family to the other guests. It was 'standard' protocol and almost expected as a known elitist. I was positively sure that Alex was doing the same with Casey, as I had caught the fleeting sight of a blonde and redhead on my peripheral before it was swallowed by a group of people. Olivia and the kids were always polite to others, especially when they would make snarky remarks about my sister's situation or about my marriage in general. I would smile and offer a smart answer in return before politely excusing ourselves.

"Fucking asshole," I mumbled to Olivia, causing her to snicker and nearly choke on the sip of champagne she had taken.

I giggled and continued our rounds, effectively finding my father speaking to a couple of the board members of the foundation, "Victoria, querida," he exclaimed, wrapping me in his arms and kissing both of my cheeks, "Where are my grandchildren, and Olivia?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, turning my head, and moving my hair over my shoulder to give view to the oncoming running feet of the twins, "There," I mentioned with a smile, watching my father hand me his flute as he squatted to hug his grandsons.

"I'm missing two, where are they?"

As if on cue, Noah and Cassidy appeared, "Papa," they shouted in unison, collapsing in my father's arms.

He placed a kiss on each kid and rose, gasping, "Olivia," he said, wrapping her in his arms. He held her at arm's length, "How is it that you look more beautiful every time I see you?"

Olivia scoffed and shook her head, "Yea, ignore the pregnant woman who happens to be your _daughter_ ," I barked mirthfully.

My father turned, dismissing me with his hand, "I like Olivia better; she doesn't bicker with me as much as you do." I rolled my eyes and smirked, lacing my fingers with Olivia's.

My father introduced my wife to the members of the board and the chatter begun about her job, her work with survivors, as well as family banter, and what had transpired thus far in our summer. Some of the members were familiar with Olivia Benson, the fearless detective who placed everything on the line in order to get justice where justice was due. And, as I basked in the glow that my wife exuded and her humbleness at the praises she received, I searched for my mother. Usually, in events like these, she would spot me first, briskly walking towards me to introduce me to someone or to pry me away my family to go butter up someone. I stepped away from Olivia and turned to my father, placing my hand on his elbow and cocking my head for a private word.

"Yes mija," he said lowly.

"Where's my mother?"

He sighed, "Probably flapping her gums to one of her _socialité_ friends," he chuckled dryly.

I frowned, "Papa, that act does not work on me. You _do_ remember what I do for a living, don't you?"

He shook his head and smiled, "You're brilliant and stubborn, like your mother," he said, cupping my cheek.

I nodded, "Out with it, please."

I placed my hands on my swell, feeling Nugget's excited movements due to all the stimulation, "She hasn't been well, _Victorina_." My father seldom used the French form of my name, and when he did it meant two things: either he was disappointed in me or he was stalling in telling me something upsetting. I raised my brow, waiting for his continuance, "She's been drinking, just like she did when you went 'missing'."

I shook my head, "This is news to me. Upset about what?"

"Your sister," _of course_ , "They called from Stockbridge a couple of weeks ago saying that Vienna had gone manic so we took a trip upstate and she was unhinged," he emphasized with his hands, "One of her worst episodes yet. They sedated her, but every time she came back it would be worse than before. Your mother decided to stay back and get a hotel room so that she could visit daily. We were supposed to go to the Mountains with you, Olivia, and the kids but she couldn't bear to leave Vienna so I said that it was fine and we could go in the winter. Once she returned she began drinking."

"And, _now_ you're telling me this, Papa? What else has been going on?" I seethed.

He shook his head, " _Victorina_ ," he urged, and I knew there was something else, "she's been drinking _because_ of you."

I furrowed my brow and laughed, "Because of me? Because of _me_? You have got to be kidding me," I raised my voice slightly, slapping my hip, "How in hell is this my fault, Papa?"

He glanced around and scolded me with his eyes, "It's not. She says she doesn't, but I can tell that deep down she blames you for Vienna. Your mother has always been too lenient with her…"

I sighed and shook my head; "I don't need this, right now. I wasn't the one who stabbed her sister and left her to die, Dad. I wasn't the one that sixteen years later kidnapped, tortured, maimed, and planned to kill her kin either. How am I to blame?" My father went to protest when I continued, "You know what? I don't want to hear it. I'll be at the table."

I stormed off, breezing past Olivia and into the dining hall where people had been circling in to get ready for the feast. I could feel my tear ducts working on overtime in order to hold on to the salty droplets that I refused to let fall upon my face. This was neither the place nor the time to sit down and cry. This was between my mother and I, and I would not let her issues with me ruin the afternoon with my family. I located our shared table with the Cabot's and one or two members of the board towards the middle of the dining hall and took a seat in one of the empty chairs. I felt myself deflate and the quick rush of blood through my ears. I huffed and placed my elbows on the table and brought my hands to my face, groaning as silently as possible.

I felt nimble fingers pushing away my hair, bringing it over my left shoulder. I knew then it was Olivia when she placed her lips below the fabric on my shoulder, "Since when do you put your elbows on the table?" she giggled.

I couldn't help but snicker and I shook my head, lowering my arms, and turning my head to look at her, "I'm sorry, am I ruining your time here?"

She shook her head, "No, sweetheart. What's going on, huh? That's the fastest I've seen you walk since your third trimester started."

I chuckled with my wife, leaning back on the chair, reaching to her lap to grab at her hand, "Papa just t—" I sighed, "It's nothing, Liv. Just your pregnant wife being hormonal."

I gave her a sheepish smile and watched her frown. She wasn't buying my story for one second, but she decided not to prod. I fidgeted with her wedding set and leaned to capture her lips in mine once, then twice, then thrice, resting my forehead against hers and whispering my love just to plant my lips on hers once more. The kids came filing in, Noah taking a seat next to me and Cassidy next to her brother. Hudson sat next to his mother and Hunter asked to climb my lap. In order for me to cuddle with my children, I had to sit straight, something that proved to be somewhat uncomfortable to my pelvis, but appreciated by my back. I picked up the boy and sat him on my lap in a straddle, feeling him lean forward to rest his head on my chest. He let his arms drape around my belly and on occasion, he would stroke on my belly.

Little by little, the hall became crowded with people filing in and taking their respective seats. The one or two board members took a seat in one of the empty remaining six chairs. The rest of the dining hall was equipped with multiple round tables that each fit twelve persons. Roughly twenty minutes went by when Alexandra and Casey—finally—were seen. The kids were ecstatic to see their aunt and her redheaded lover. They each placed a kiss to our cheeks and immediately the blonde could sense something was wrong. She took a seat next to Cassidy and Casey next to Alexandra, leaving two empty chairs for my parents. I had noticed that the elder Cabot was not going to seat with us this time and when I questioned Alex about it; she had stated that he had business to tend to in another table and she winked. Another business venture it seemed for Charles Cabot.

My mother came stumbling through in the arms of my father and I shook my head slightly, running my hands down Hunter's back. She sat and addressed the children and Olivia, not glancing my way for a second. I scoffed and shook my head, _real mature, Mother, real mature._ Olivia smirked, and was about to comment on my mother's sudden appearance when the master of ceremonies greeted us all. He thanked several people; one of them was my father and his foundation. I beamed and clapped silently when my mother scoffed at me in disgust. What the hell had I done this time _other_ than the fact that she blamed me for Vienna's stay upstate? I shook my head and beckoned Hunter to go sit by his twin brother so that we could eat. Olivia helped him out of my lap and kissed his chubby cheek as he walked behind the chairs to sit in between his grandmother and twin brother.

"Ugh," my mother groaned, "You smell just like your mother."

I furrowed my brows, "Vivian, por favor, don't do this," my father begged.

My mother growled deep within her throat and rolled her eyes as I looked at Olivia who was just as stunned as me by her comment, "Hunter, do you want to sit next to Mama?" Noah asked sweetly.

"Actually," Olivia intervened, "I'll move."

Olivia stood and helped Hunter move. My waterline worked overtime to hold on to the tears that were threatening to fall. And, here I thought that we had worked through our feelings, that she had finally accepted her wrongful ways even as we grew up underneath the same roof. Boy, was I wrong! Several staff personnel saved us as they began weaving expertly through tables, asking between the two choices on the menu and filling glasses with wine, champagne, and other spirits. Our starting was brought out and I focused all of my energy on my children, helping them with their utensils, and making sure they didn't stain their attire. My mother on the other hand, had the staff working overtime just to fill her glass, and when it wasn't, she would fuss and grumble loudly her distaste for their slow pace.

Her comments and digs towards me continue and I was rapidly reaching that point of no return. I needed to maintain my composure, for the sake of decorum, and my father as well. We had important members of the board sitting at our table, what the hell was her problem? Her words never slurred, but by the look of unpleasantness and constant scowl on Olivia's face, I knew she was beyond drunk. Olivia heaved, her chest sporting a deep shade of crimson that could be attributed to her sun-kissed skin or the anger that was slowly rising within her. The members excused themselves, along my father to go greet someone before the main course arrived.

Olivia noticed my mother's empty wine glass once more, her fifth in the short span of our soup course, followed by the appetizer course, "Vivian, take it easy on us," she tried to quip, "You're not even allowing for me to catch up with you."

I smiled as I looked down at my almost empty plate, "You drink too to tolerate that pestering daughter of mine, don't you? Oh," she scoffed, "I knew it."

I tittered dryly, shaking my head to accommodate my hair, "Wow Mother, not even for the sake of your grandchildren. Incredible!"

"And, who gave you permission to speak, Victoria? You speak when addressed to, otherwise, your voice is not one I'd like to hear this evening," she sneered.

"Jesus Christ," I said breathlessly, "You're drunk! Get a grip! Aren't you embarrassed for yourself?"

"Embarrassed? You want to talk about embarrassment?" she mocking said, "What's more embarrassing than having people know that your daughter is in the loony bin because her sister _put_ her there _deliberately_?"

I guffawed, "I didn't _put_ Vienna, anywhere, Mother. Vienna put herself in that predicament," I said somberly. Despite of what people may think, I hated knowing that I couldn't see her. That she couldn't see me. I hated knowing that this was to be her life until the day she died, because she couldn't be trusted to medicate herself and not fall back into her old ways, "She got the better end of the stick."

My mother scoffed mockingly, "Better end? You disgust me, Victoria," she said, her eyes darkening and her lip snarling, "You disgust me and you're a disgrace to the Reyes name, to its legacy… You're a disgrace to both your father and I," she paused, enjoying the way her words had finally gotten to me, "I shouldn't have had you," she finished, placing her empty wine glass on the table and dabbing the corner of her mouth with her napkin.

A sob broke through before I could say anything, "You've crossed the line, Vivian," I heard Olivia defend.

"What the hell, Viv? That's your daughter!" Alex spoke from her chair.

I stood, placing everything on my plate. I heard one of my children call out for me, but could not discern which one, "I may be a disgrace to you and to the Reyes name, it's why I choose to carry a different one. But, that doesn't change the fact that I will forever be a better woman, better wife, and better mother that you could ever think of being. _You_ disgust _me_. I don't even know why I bother in calling you 'mother', you never deserved it… maybe I can make arrangements in Stockbridge so that you and Vienna can share rooms and possible treatment, you deserve each other."

I knew I had gone low and I knew my words had stung her. I knew because suddenly my left cheek burned and my ears had this intense dull ringing. The hall went silent and I felt my tears distortion the view of everything surrounding me. I heard myself scoff and I sauntered off. I heard the cry of young child, the frantic call of someone's name, the venomous tone of another until everything mixed together and it faded. I could feel myself walking briskly and I had the sudden feeling to vomit. I saw a nearby planter and I retched the prior consumed contents into it. The acidic taste and foul stench of my vomit did wonders in clearing the fog.

I sighed and felt the sudden discomforting pain of a Braxton-Hicks contraction surge through my legs and up my spine. I mewled softly, inhaling and exhaling as I rode the continuous wave of back pain and heartache all at once. Pressure. I felt pressure and I willed my body to an upright position and I inhaled deeply, walking to the restroom as I held my stomach. Thankfully the stalls were empty and I allowed myself to fully breakdown, feeling my shoulders shake with repetitious movement. I heard the restroom door open and I clamped my jaw shut, sniffling, and reaching for the toilet paper. I exited the stall and came face to face with my wife, and my resolve crumbled.

Olivia gathered me in her arms, shushing me as I clung to her. She whispered sweet, meaningful things to my hair when the restroom door opened once more. I didn't want anybody to see me in such state so I turned my head and could hear the rumble of Olivia's chest as she spoke to whomever it was she was speaking with. She allowed for me to cry on her, to utilize her for comfort. My wife…

I sighed and sniffled, "Liv," I said between hiccups.

"I'm right here, baby. I'm right here for you, for whatever you need, for as long as you need… I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," she said softly, attempting to mask her own hurt and sorrow.

"It hurts," I whispered, "It hurts so much," I heaved.

Before she had the chance to comfort me with her words, I pushed her away, turning to land on the sink, another surge of vomiting. She reached my side and placed her hand on my lower back, "Oh honey," I heard her whimper as she rubbed soothing circles.

I washed my mouth and was able to compose myself enough to exit the restroom with Olivia. At the end of the hall, I could see a gathering of people, but Olivia is what I wanted right now, so I leaned against her, feeling her grip tighten around my waist. As we walked another powerful contraction hit me full force and I hissed, digging my nails into her forearm.

She groaned, "Tori, baby, easy," she chuckled.

"Braxton," I said breathlessly, sucking in air, "Hicks," I continued, until the wave had finished. "I'm sorry," I pled, having her glance up and down at me.

"No worries," she smiled sweetly, looking at my belly, and stopping in her tracks, "Tori."

"W—What is it, Liv?" I said shakily, noticing her sudden sunken face. I looked down at my enormous belly and went to take a step when I felt the stickiness on my thighs. I felt my stomach sink to my knees and I was suddenly nauseous again, "My water broke."

"Yes baby, it did," she said with a smile.

"No, no, Olivia. They're early. It's not time," I began, suddenly feeling like everything was spinning.

"Baby, come on. We've got to get you to the hospital," she said as she placed her hand on my back and ushered me forward.

I moved, as fast as I could with Olivia, approaching the people that were gathered a couple of feet away from us. Olivia shouted for them to call an ambulance that I was in labor when an excruciating pain broke through me and I stumbled.

"Tori, baby, I know it hurts, but we have to make it outside," she coaxed.

"I—I won't make it, Liv," I said with teary eyes, looking up at her.

She gave me a once over when she turned pale, "Oh no, Tori."

I could feel my heart beating rapidly, "What?" Olivia shook her head, opening and closing her mouth, but no sound came out. "What Olivia?" I growled, squeezing at her forearm as more pain made itself known.

The ringing had returned powerfully and those who were standing in the distance were rushing forward towards me. It was then when I heard her say, "You're bleeding."

* * *

 **A/N:** It's time for Nugget's debut! What do you all think, boy or girl? I already wrote it, but let's see how many are right. Also, I promise they'll be fine, but not _too_ ok. ;) Review, Review, Review! Thank youuu!


	39. Benson Seven

_**Benson Seven**_

Six long days at Lenox Hill hospital where my children and newborn had been with me. My wife, between working and being at the hospital seemed incredulously exhausted, but she wouldn't let up until I was at home with our little bundle of joy. I'd had _serious_ complications due to the stress that was caused by my mother at the gala almost a week ago. My placenta had detached, causing limited blood flow and oxygen to my then unborn child and as a result, Nugget had been born with respiratory distress syndrome which meant NICU stay and surfactant replacement therapy.

Due to my placental abruption I was ordered constant bed rest, but being as stubborn as ever, I made my nurses, Olivia, Casey, and/or Alex wheel me down to the NICU from the moment I rose to the moment I slept. Our little Nugget was born a fighter and from that very first night after replacement therapy, I was allowed to breastfeed with successful latching. My other children were in awe at their new sibling, and had wanted to help as much as they could. They were always helping me stand when I needed transfer from my chair to the bed, they would help with the tray and my food, and they scolded me—as I did them—when I pushed away certain things from my tray. Olivia had a kick of it all and would smirk at me from afar in amusement.

Hospital personnel had allowed for Nugget to spend the day yesterday in my room except for nighttime where he returned to NICU. I had spent all day long with the little olive beauty with sandy colored hair in my arms. The only visitors I had allowed were Olivia, the kids, Alex, and Casey as they were the ones helping out with the care of the kids whilst Olivia worked and I was stuck here in the hospital. I was gently startled by my morning nurse, bringing in my breakfast comprised of whole grains and carbs, protein, and some type of green or yellow fruit. Oh, and I couldn't forget my prenatal vitamin that she had placed on the tray as well. I needed to eat everything before Nugget was allowed to breastfeed.

As my nurse was exiting, in came Olivia with a carefully wrapped and sleeping baby. I smiled as I ate, allowing for her to sit near the bed, as she had been doing every afternoon she was here, to cuddle and talk with Nugget. Neonatal came stumbling in the room a few minutes after Olivia, "How's Baby Benson doing this morning?"

She moved around to wash her hands and beckoned Olivia to bring our child to the bassinet for her to check vitals and lungs, as well as oxygen levels, "Still sleeping," she chuckled.

"Well, NICU nurses are content with the progress," she said, placing her gloves and adjusting her stethoscope, "No breathing problems during nighttime, and they've completely weaned off the breathing therapy machine last night with no repercussions," she smiled, loosening the swaddle.

At this, the baby cooed, and once she placed the cold metallic instrument to the chest, loud cries could be heard, "First Benson rule, do _not_ disrupt their sleep," I giggled, chewing at my grapes.

"Listen, no one wants to be awaken like that," Olivia said with a smile, leaning over the bassinet to kiss her child's forehead, "I know, little one. I know," she purred.

The nurse finished with her assessment, "Did they change the diaper in the NICU?"

Olivia nodded, "They did," she answered, picking up the still crying child in her arms, "Ready, baby? Someone's beyond upset now."

I nodded, pulling at the chest of my gown so that the snap buttons could open, "Need help with that Dr. Benson?"

"No," I said, glancing at the young girl, "Thank you, Shirley."

Olivia moved the rolling tray with her foot and pressed the button to elevate the bed for comfort. We swapped the baby in our hands, "I can see you're feeling better, Levi. Jesus, those lungs on you!"

I scooted forward with the help of Olivia so that she could ease in behind me. She rested her chin on my shoulder, moving her head to kiss it multiple times before she pressed her chin against my skin. Her arms wrapped around me, one resting on my thigh and the other one on Levi's head, caressing his wisps of hair. Levi opened his eyes, the prominent greenish-brown hue staring right up at us. Olivia sighed.

"Thank you, Tori," she said, kissing my neck.

I snickered, "I love you, Olivia. If you want another one after Levi's at least three, let me know so that I can book a flight to Istanbul for the pregnancy."

Olivia tittered breathily, "Seven is a good number," she mused softly.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder at her face, "The hell it is!"

"Hey," she scolded playfully, "Language," I shook my head, smiling, "I meant it as a total. We're seven now, the Benson Seven."

I leaned forward, placing my lips to her temple. Olivia closed her eyes and smiled, turning her head to place her lips on mine, "I like that," I said, "Where are the other four, though?"

Olivia reached around to wipe at a stray tear on our son's face, "They should be getting up soon. I think Lucy said something about taking them to the Children's Museum in Greenwich and then they'll finish off in Washington Square Park, so that the kids can get wet."

I giggled, "How many times have they been to Washington Square Park in the last six days, Liv?"

"About five times," she smiled, turning her head to look at me. Those brown eyes that I loved so… I sighed contently, "They were worried about you, Tori. We all were."

I nodded, capturing her lips in mine, lingering, "I know, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let my mother get to me like that."

She shook her head, "This wasn't your fault, Victoria. I'm not blaming you, no one is. We all knew you were under a lot of stress after the whole Lindworsky fiasco. I should've kept you home."

"No, this isn't your fault either, Olivia Margaret. This is one is on my mother, not you."

Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, "She wants to see you, and so does your father."

I scoffed, shaking my head vigorously, "Not in this lifetime."

"Tori," Olivia warned.

"No. End of discussion," I said softly, but with conviction.

"No, no end of discussion," she pushed, "You should at least allow your father in. He wants to meet his new grandson and he would like to see his daughter as well."

"Olivia, she was drunk out of her ass. I don't want the kids near that house again."

Olivia nodded, "Neither do I," she remained pensive, as if she was gauging on whether or not she should tell me something, "Hunter asked me if Grandma Viv hates him because he loves Mama."

I whimpered, closing my eyes, "That's it. I'm done."

"I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you, I just didn't want to go without telling you. Communication first, yes?"

I nodded as I heard a knock on the door, "Casey!" I exclaimed, glancing down at Levi whose eyes were opened brightly gauging every expression on both Olivia's and my face, "Come in."

Casey walked in, dressed for work. She circled the bed and placed a kiss to Olivia's face and then to my cheek. She glanced at Levi and sighed, kissing his hair, "How is he doing?"

"Much better," Olivia answered, "He slept last night without his replacement therapy machine."

"And you, Mama?"

I shrugged, "Hungry, tired, in pain, but happy. What brings you by?"

She winced at the question, looking between Olivia and I. I furrowed my brow and Olivia pushed gently for Casey to spit out whatever it was she needed to say. She huffed as she sat on the chair that Olivia previously occupied, "Your mother visited the office yesterday. Apparently she went by the new place and no one was home so she went by the precinct but saw Olivia leaving so she came to Alex. She wants to talk."

I rolled my eyes and focused on Levi, "Well, I don't so next time you see her, tell her to stop. Nothing will change."

It was now or never. I had given my mother many a chance to do what was right, to treat me as her daughter, not some stranger she just happened to carry for nine months. I could handle all the backlash of the world, but once she had lashed out at Hunter for no reason but carrying my scent with him, that was when I drew the last straw. Drunk or not, I wouldn't allow for anyone to disrespect my children or my wife. I drew the line right there. I knew it had hurt Olivia to hear my mother be so dismissive of me, and I knew for sure my mother had hit a nerve with her comments, but Olivia and I would debunk and compartmentalize accordingly. As of now, my only concern lain in my arms. I needed to know, to be one hundred percent sure that Levi was well enough to go home as soon as my discharge came. I was not leaving this hospital if he wasn't in Olivia's arms or mines.

My mother and father could wait until I was ready to make contact. I was putting my family and myself first and nothing would change that.

But for now, all I had to say was, welcome to the world Levi Oliver James!

* * *

 **A/N:** Short chapter for you guys of what happened during the birth of Nugget. A lot of you wanted a girl for the Benson's, but, I don't know... I think Cassidy would be a jealous little redhead if her sister got more attention than she did. Lol, and she's very possessive of Olivia so I left her as the only girl. Gives for better writing content when they're older and her brothers give a hard time to her potential partner. ;)


	40. Home Sweet Home

**WARNING:** Sexual language and acts at play.

* * *

 _ **Home Sweet Home**_

I had just finished breastfeeding Levi when I emerged from his nursery; body clad in one of my sport's bra and workout shorts. The older kids were in school with Hunter and Hudson making their debut in preschool. Olivia was perched in our sofa, reading a book when she looked up, "Jesus," she said in a breathy whisper.

I looked up from the floor and smiled at her, not particularly knowing what she was talking about, "Huh?" I questioned.

She placed her book facing down, protecting the pages she was reading. She placed her feet on the floor and stood, her shirt and loose shorts adjusting to her movement. I stood rooted to my spot as she approached me. Once closer, she moved her glasses to the top of her head, framing her hair away from her cheeks, "Those don't fit as well as they used to, do they Victoria?"

I furrowed my brow and looked down, "Is that your way of telling me I need to hop on the treadmill sooner rather than later, Olivia?" I said a little harshly, crossing my arms.

She snickered, snaking her arms around my midsection and pulling me close, her hands resting right at the top of the curve of my bottom, "I could care less about your weight gain. I'm talking about _those_ ," she finished, quickly glancing at my chest and back up at my eyes.

I glanced down at my chest, noticing the spillage of my breasts over the top of my sports bra. I snickered, moving my hands to wrap around her neck, "Is that what it is?" I mentioned, brows rose, "Even with the twins' pregnancy, and you never said anything until now."

I pushed my body into hers, "D—Don't do that, Victoria. Please," she begged, closing her eyes.

"Don't do what?" I husked, hovering my face over hers.

I pushed my pelvis into hers, receiving a hearty moan, "We still have to wait two more weeks for the all clear," she said breathlessly.

"I have to, but you don't," I finished, capturing her mouth.

Her lips immediately parted, granting me access into her mouth. I lapped at her tongue, moaning in unison as they came in contact. Our tongues massaged the other, rolled over each other, and our teeth clicked together at the over eagerness of it all. It was like we were teenagers, doing it for the first time, and feeling our bodies reach that gentle overdrive that had been deprived for so long. She nibbled on my bottom lip, pausing when our lips were barely touching and we breathed each other's air. The dizziness that the act caused akin to that of sexual arousal made me moan disgustingly primal.

"Fuck," she whispered loudly, throwing her head back on her shoulders.

I hummed coquettishly, "That can be arranged," I said, dragging my hands down her shoulders, unlatching them from their tight grip on my backside. I guided her back to our enormous sectional, having her sit. I beckoned her to rest her legs on our equally big ottoman that served as centerpiece to our living room and I climbed her lap, "You've been nothing but amazing, Olivia. I know I've made you wait long enough, but let me show you how much I love you," I said, placing a kiss to her lips, "How much you mean to me," I continued, moving down her jaw, "And, how much I've missed your body on mine," I finished, sinking my teeth above the collar of her t-shirt.

Olivia hissed, moving her head to the opposite side and granting more access as her hands flew to my ribcage, "Please."

I lapped at her neck, sucking her skin in my mouth. Her moans and pleas were loud against my ear, egging me on to my manipulations. My center rocked against hers, her hands scratched at my skin, but my mouth had a mind of its own and deterring it now would be sinful. My hands ran through her hair, tugging softly for added pleasure as I continued to explore her skin. I leaned back on her thighs, finding the hem of her shirt and tugging until the garment was out of the way. Her breasts swayed as they were released, and I noticed the heavy flush of her skin. I smirked, leaning forward in search for a pebbled bud.

"Tori," she moaned, digging her teeth on my shoulder.

I hissed and pushed her back, "Play fair, Olivia," I husked cheekily, diving back in to her chest.

She moaned throatily, cursing at the ceiling as the sensation coursed through her body. I ran my tongue from the valley of her breasts to the other side of her neck, just right above her collarbone to pinch her skin between my incisors, "Unh," she gasped, her body jolting in pleasurable pain.

My hands were working at her waistband, feeling the immediate heat her core emitted and she puffed. I teased her stomach, gently moving my hands over her body, until she was a whimpering mess. I grabbed at her breasts, moving my mouth to hers, my tongue delving in her mouth, licking her lip and teeth. The way she panted, they way she moaned my name, the way profanities fell from her lips let me know she was unappeasable. I drew back, half opening my eyes to watch her search for my mouth. I tittered softly when I felt her hands tugging at my ponytail.

"Stop teasing me, and fuck me," she panted, moving quickly to hellishly bite at my neck.

I gasped, "Fuck! Liv," I giggled, pushing her back by her shoulders.

Where here teeth had been on my skin stung, but I knew I had teased her enough. She was ready, beyond ready for me to take her. I dismounted her lap, kneeling between her legs. I pushed them apart by her knees, trailing them up to reach her waistband. She panted in anticipation, ready for me to finally make contact. I trailed her shorts and underwear down her thighs, past her knees until she brought her feet down by my sides. Her scent was overpowering, she had already reached that nice overdrive where she was no longer in control of what her body did or how she reacted on what I was doing to her.

My lips were all over her thighs, those strong, shapely, alluring thighs. The same ones that had given me so much support, the same ones I loved to pinch, bite, and tease. She eyed my every move, mewling when I would deliver a dainty nibble or wanton lick.

"Tori, please."

I giggled, trailing my hands up her calves. I kissed her curly covered mound, inhaling softly all that Olivia is, was, and would be. I pulled on her knees, beckoning her to lift them, and as she did, I pulled her closer to me. Her sodden center stared at me, willing me to touch it. I smirked and looked up at my wife, biting her lip, and holding her smirk. She was fondling her breasts, pinching her nipples, and waiting for me to do something.

I lowered my head to her middle, sticking my tongue out and running a long, enticing line from her opening to around her button. Olivia's deep gasp and moan were the starting of a wave of arousal to course through me. She hissed as I repeated my move, sweet angelic sounds to my ears as she overtly moaned at the ceiling. One of the hands that was playing with her nipples came down to rake through my scalp as she coaxed me for more. I leaned forward, anchoring my mouth to cover Olivia's sex, creating soft suction to her labia.

"Fuck," she hissed, rolling her hips with the movements of my mouth.

I stopped, dragging my tongue upwards and orbiting around her swollen bud, puckering my lips as I drew back to admire my handy work. Olivia's center was embellished with her nectar and my saliva, her swollen nub had protruded out of its shell, and the most beautiful pinkish hue could be seen from between her folds. I sighed, hissing as I dragged my fingers down her junction, coating and spreading the wetness around her outer lips. I moaned at her eagerness, as her hips hadn't ceased its movements, and I reveled in the enticing picture that was my wife in front of me.

Her pouty lips were swollen and parted, her lashes rested easily on her florid cheeks. One hand was seductively gripping the edge of the cushion whilst the other one rested easily on her stomach. Her chest fell deep with ragged breaths, and those seductive hips moved in a tempting rhythm to a melody that only she could hear. I moaned carnally, engrossed in the fucking temptress below me. God, I love this woman! I slowly eased two of my fingers into her opening, watching as that rogue smile came to life on her face.

"Fuck, Tori," she whispered, arching her back.

I husked my giggle, carefully moving my fingers inside of her, feeling for that foreign that as of yet, had still not made its debut. Yet, I leaned forward, running my tongue against her clit, applying quick pressure to elicit the reaction I knew she would give me. She gasped, opening her eyes, revealing that fiery chocolaty gaze just as she ran her teeth through her bottom lip. Her moan soon followed, feral and coquettish all at the same time. I knew her body, and I knew that with Olivia, consistency, pressure, and teasing was key. She wanted to come. She craved more than one consecutive orgasm, but her sensitivity wouldn't allow for it so I had to do it right.

I continued the probing with my fingers until little by little I felt the cushion inside her walls. I sucked on her bundle of her nerves, granting her a brief moment of unexpected pleasure, drawing out a string of profanities mixed with my name.

"Oh fuck me, Tori," she said through gritted teeth, "Yes!"

I held her clit between my lips and hummed, sending comforting vibrating sensations through her. I pulled back, picking up the speed on my hand as I continued to stroke that shy pillowy wall inside of her. Her eyes had remained closed and I pushed myself up, hovering over her body to direct my mouth to a pebbled nipple. The contact of my hot mouth against her sensitive skin shook her to her core, causing a slight tremble to her body. She hissed her contentment, holding my neck against her skin as I continued the loving assault against her hardened bud.

My lips moved, finding purchase on hers and when I curled my fingers inside of her, she broke the kiss, opening her eyes to stare at mine, "Fuck, Liv," I mused, feeling her walls contract around my digits as I pushed my mouth against hers once more.

That kiss was pure liquid heat. The way our tongues massaged the other inside our mouths, the moans and groans elicited by the both of us, the rock of her hips that met thrust by thrust the movement of my wrist, and the fatality of what was happening to our bodies was too much to bear. She bit my lip hellishly, dragging it out between her incisors, "Oh God, I missed you," she admitted between ragged pants, causing me to titter, "Oh fuck, right there!" she conceded, throwing her head back.

Olivia in her pleasure induced state incredibly easy on the eyes. If I could watch two things for the rest of my life and nothing else, it would be my children, and Olivia just like this and at this moment; titillating between reality and her aroused induced state. I brought my mouth to her neck, lowering my knees to reach lower on her body. If she was ready to come undone then I would be there to push her off the fall, diving with her to bring her down securely.

I trailed a path of kisses and nibbles down her torso, my name like a mantra on her lips until I reached the skin below her belly button. She groaned when I bit it, her walls closing in around my fingers as I pushed deeper inside of her. My mouth continued south, closing around her strained bundle of nerves. It was then when her hands disappeared through my hair, grabbing and pulling until her encouraging words stopped. She was silent, but oh, how her body screamed its pleasure.

I saw her belly flutter, and within seconds, the audible gasp she produced accompanied the streaming river of juices from her. I eased my fingers out, lapping at her junction as if it were my only source of life. Her thighs shook and clamped around my face, seemingly drowning me in her nectar. I pushed and pushed, sucking gently and licking subtly at her wet folds, coaxing another wave of pleasure from my wife.

I pushed my fingers once more inside of her, "Tori!" she shouted, and I opened my eyes at her beckoning call. Our eyes met and her eyes fluttered closed when the pulsating of her body warned me of an impending orgasm, "More, more, more," she chanted and I smirked against her, easing a third finger inside of her. She grinned and opened her eyes, watching me devour her for her pleasure, "T—Tori, I'm going to come," she panted, raising her hips for more friction.

I sucked on her bundle of nerves, running my tongue wantonly across of it. She whimpered, moaning my name, and collapsing to the couch as her tangy goodness coated my hand. I hummed against her, feeling her twitch at the sensitivity until her body stopped its shakes. My hand stopped its assault and carefully, I eased out of her, lapping at core until there was nothing else for me to savor.

I was gentle now making my path to her lips and when I reached them, she wasted no time in capturing and savoring herself on me, "I love you," she husked in between kisses, rendering me speechless with the urgency of her lips.

I breathed out harshly against her mouth, licking her lips, and savoring the spices against them, "I love you more." I felt her fingers around my wrist as she pulled my hand to her mouth. She made a show of ridding my fingers of her juices and I groaned, "That hot ass mouth will get you in trouble, Olivia Benson."

I felt her tongue teasing the pad of my forefinger inside her mouth and she pulled back, letting my finger linger across her bottom lip, "How much trouble, Victoria Benson?"

She asked quickly, sucking my fingers in her mouth once more and I hissed, "A lot of trouble."

She repeated her moves, growing bolder as she sat straight and hovered her mouth near mine, "What are _you_ going to do about it, huh?"

She flicked her tongue against my lip, quickly placing a peck on my bottom lip. I moaned, closing my eyes when I felt her hands circle around my chest, and I gasped, "Liv!"

She giggled softly, barely audible, and she nipped at my chin, "I'm not scared of you," she whispered against my lips, kissing them seductively.

I moaned again, grabbing at her face, and kissing her passionately. She knew nothing could enter my body, not even her fingers for another two weeks so, what exactly was her plan? Tease me for a fortnight? Keep me hot and bothered until we received the green light of approval? I couldn't think straight, because the way she manipulated my body with the subtlest of touch was enough for me to become misty minded, but then she squeezed my breasts again, rooting me back to the moment.

"Liv," I said breathily, pushing my forehead against hers.

"Shower with me," she pled, "Let me touch you, let me feel you…"

I mewled pathetically, giving in to her plight and I growled, "What do you do to me?"

She chortled, "The same thing you do to me."

Vague, but I knew what she meant. She stood, pulling me in by my hips until our hips were touching and I hissed, planting a lingering kiss against Olivia's mouth. We had to get ready anyways, the big kids were fixing to finish their school day at any moment and we needed to pick them up.

"I love you," I spoke against her mouth, watching her smile and turn to walk in front of me. She made it a point to extend her legs further so that her hips could catch all the action and I extended my arm, pinching her flesh when she yelped.

"I would tell you to keep your hands to yourself, but you and I know that's not what we want," she had this beautiful impish smile and gleam in her eye that I couldn't help but shake my head in approval of what she was saying.

We were about to love in our shower. Not have sex... or fuck, but genuinely love in our shower. I sighed, watching her saunter in front of me. She was it. She was my home. Home sweet, sweet home.


	41. The Perfect Witness

_**The Perfect Witness**_

"Liv, I can't help but think that she's too good to be true," Amanda said as I walked in.

Olivia chuckled, shaking her head, "I get it, Amanda. I do, but she _is_ credible, and she has not wavered in her testimony, once."

"Yea, she was forthcoming about the drugs, she disclosed having been by his apartment, and she even told us about the nudes that were sent," Carisi counted with his fingers, "W—Who does that?"

Olivia shook her head, turning on her hip, "Tori," she exclaimed as I approached her, "Baby, how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that some of your detectives," I mentioned looking over her shoulder, "are having second thoughts about this witness."

Olivia smirked, moving towards the media room, "Well, uh, wouldn't you?" She stood next to Amanda, "We believe her, but is there something else here?"

I looked around, "Where's Fin?"

"Vacation," Carisi answered, "Doc, w—what do you think? Is that why you're here?"

I nodded, "Apparently Dodds thinks the same as you guys, he had Stone call my office three times. Does he think that I work solely for the NYPD? I have a job to catch up to."

Olivia snickered, glancing at Amanda, "Ok, want us to bring you up to speed?"

I nodded and listened as Olivia, Amanda, and Sonny took turns explaining the case to me. Tania Jacobs, an up and coming project manager from Chelsea whom was found on one of the many benches of High Line park in the Meatpacking District. The neighboring couple that had found her said that her clothes were torn and her panties were dangling from her ankle. Initially, they had thought that she was just another drunk girl who needed assistance, but once they got closer, they realized that their assumption was wrong.

"The guys at the one-o took the call. Upon arrival they saw what she looked liked and immediately placed a call to us and a bus," Carisi continued, "We were there in twelve minutes."

I furrowed my brow, "Why wasn't the call directed to you from the beginning?"

"Well, initially Mr. and Mrs. Baxter omitted the information of the panties, stating that they believed it was a mugging gone wrong so, Crime Prevention from the one-o was the one that took it," Amanda added.

The story continued with Rollins and Carisi at Bellevue where the witness was taken. It took her roughly three hours to wake from her drunken induced slumber. The detectives took turns in questioning her, but she kept waxing and waning and they damn near took six hours to take her initial statement. Carisi ended up taking her to her home in Chelsea and leaving her his card so that she could come in the next day and be interviewed.

"At the hospital, we didn't get that far," Amanda lamented.

"Yea," Carisi continued, "She woke up asking where she was, but once she realized her surroundings she was quick to tell us what happened."

"But, with the side effects of what she had in her system, it was making it kind of hard for her to stay up and coherent," Amanda finished.

I furrowed my brow, "What did she have in her system?"

"She was on MDMA and according to her, she had 'shot up' on speed the day before," I parted my mouth and scoffed, "She had a project that needed finishing, so she did what she had to do."

I hummed and watched as Olivia moved around her subordinates, reaching around her to place several pictures on the corkboard. Tania had several bruises on her neck, face, and chest; her clothes had been torn and cut by some type of sharp object, she had a split lip, a torn brow, and a sliced cheek. She had had it rough, too rough to just be considered rough sex.

"Rape kit showed vaginal tearing and bruising, as well as anal fissures. She had contusions on her thighs and knees, and there was semen in her rectum," Olivia breathed out, "They did recovered DNA from underneath her fingernails and she also has these scrapes that are consistent with friction burn on her buttocks and lower abdomen."

"Jesus," I whispered. Still, from all of the evidence they had shown me, I hadn't quite figured out what exactly was wrong with this witness, "Okay, so what seems to be the problem? Sounds to me like you have a very solid case."

"It gets better," Amanda responded, "You haven't heard about the assault yet."

"And, I want to keep it that way. I wouldn't want to _taint_ my purview just in case Stone calls me to the stand," I finished with a roll of my eyes. "Is there a suspect, though?"

"Out on bail," Carisi responded with a snarl, "They're coworkers."

I snickered, "Of course. I don't know what could be worse, knowing or not your assailant."

I heard a few rueful chuckles when the sudden click of heels could be heard through the bullpen. A powerful wafting scent reached where we were sat at and then came a beautiful toffee colored girl with tight ringlet curls and dark eyes. She stood at roughly five foot seven with a diamond shaped body and a healing face and chest. She smiled weakly and if I hadn't heard her story, you could've never begun to fathom that this girl enjoyed the company of drugs, and clearly mixing them too. But, who am I to judge? She smiled at the Detectives and nodded towards the Lieutenant, giving me a once over. I quirked a brow, _now_ I too was suspicious of her.

She didn't seem like your other victims: imperfect, frazzled, skittish, squirrelly. She seemed composed, calm… in control, something a survivor didn't reach until after therapy. And, even in my vast knowledge, I knew that not everybody's healing was the same, not everybody reacted the same to trauma, and we all had our different ways of coping, healing, and compartmentalizing. Olivia and the girl whom I had identified as Tania Jacobs spoke softly about the case, and then, she introduced us.

"Tania, this is Dr. Reyes. She's a forensic psychologist with the FBI, we'd like for you to talk to her," Olivia spoke softly.

Tania furrowed her brow tightly, "Why? I'm not making this up, Lieutenant Benson!"

"And, nobody is saying you are, honey. Our ADA is requesting this considering the common side effects of some of the drugs found in your system."

Tania sighed and nodded, "Will this, in any way, affect my job?"

Olivia, Sonny, and Amanda trained their stares on me, waiting for a response, "No, what is said here will strictly be confidential. It will not be discussed in depth at court, and any detail shared will stay between you and I. Though, our session will be discussed with the Lieutenant as well as the Detectives, you are free to share without repercussions."

She nodded and tapped her forefinger against her chest three times, "Thank you, Dr. Reyes."

Olivia led Tania and the rest of us to the interview room where she had us go in as her and her subordinates watched from her office. I stood near the door assessing Tania's behavior. She circled the room, looking at the one-way mirror that allowed visibility to the juvenile room, and then staring at her reflection at the other side where the squad was. She did that three times before she finally took a seat with her back to the juvenile room. I smiled, giving a slight nod as I took a seat across from her. She placed her purse and phone atop the table, shifting the items repetitively until they reached a desirable look next to her right hand. I smirked, attributing such behavior to nervousness.

"Tania," I spoke softly, capturing her attention, "No need to be nervous, just walk me through the day of your assault. You can go as fast or as slow as you like."

She sighed and nodded, placing her hands neatly on the table, tapping her forefinger against the wood three times. She cleared her throat, "I woke up to a phone call from my boss asking if I could accompany him and several others from our office to an event in the Meatpacking District," I nodded, watching her, "He said that it wasn't formal, but that I should wear a dress anyways just in case."

"Okay, and you agreed?"

She nodded, "Yes, I don't mind being told what to wear, it gives me a sense of structure, and it saves me time on rummaging through my closet," she chuckled softly, moving her hands to rub at her thighs. I saw the movement on her shoulders, back and forth, three times before she stopped, "I was reluctant at first because I had been staying up for the previous two nights finishing up a project. I'd shot up on meth two days in a row so I was feeling particularly tired, but in the end I agreed."

I raised my brow, leaning forward on the table, "And, does your boss know about your extracurricular activities?"

She chuckled ruefully, shaking her head, "The Company I work for was created and it's ran by millennials _for_ millennials. Everyone I work with is on something recreationally. Our bosses do not care as long as it does not affect our work," I nodded and allowed for her to continue, "He told me to meet him at his apartment—we live close by—and we could catch a ride together to the venue. I agreed."

"What happened when you got there?"

"He invited me in, offered me a glass of champagne whilst he finished getting ready. When he returned from his room he made a comment on how _easy_ I looked on his couch and how he wouldn't mind a beautiful lady like myself to be on that couch whenever he woke. So, I stretched on the couch and made a joke on how what I needed then was men feeding me grapes, fanning me, and a few paramours for my nightly endeavors," she continued, her smile fading, "It was then that he pulled out of his jean pocket pure MDMA and laid it out on top of a mirror he had on his kitchen bar and took two hits. He offered it to me and I said no, that I'd met my quota for the month on recreational drugs."

"How did he take that?"

She shrugged, tapping that finger against the table, "He was nonchalant about it at first, but then he asked what I had taken that I'd met my so called quota for the month. I didn't want to tell him, he's my boss, but I told him anyways. That's when he started pushing for me to take at least a hit, saying that if I was already doing the heavy stuff I may as well continue the fun for the remainder of the weekend," she leaned back, rubbing her hands against her face, "God, I'm so stupid."

I shook my head softly, "No one here thinks that, this is a judgment free zone. SVU doesn't care what you were wearing, how much you drank, or what you took. What matters is that you were assaulted, nothing else."

My reassurance brought a smile to her face and she nodded, "I did the hit, but then he pushed for a second one, and I thought, hey, it's only fair. He left to grab his jacket and then he said, ' _Take another hit, you won't be on my level since you have all that other stuff in you still_.'" She scoffed, "I should've known better, but alcohol, MDMA, remnants of speed… it was a bad combination."

"What happened then? Where did you go?"

"We went to a party and needless to say, I was rolling by then. My inhibitions were on the ground, and I was still feeling euphoric because of having done speed. We were drinking and having fun, but I exited the club to go home. I was done for the night."

"Did he see you leave?"

She nodded, "Yes, he offered to wait outside with me and personally see me get into my car ride," she trilled, "Bastard."

"Do you remember how'd you got to High Line?"

"No, I really don't, but I remembered feeling squashed. As if someone were sitting on my stomach and when I opened my eyes, there he was, laying on top of me, easing himself inside of me," a few tears escaped her eyes and she blinked them away, swiping at her cheeks, "I fought, I fought hard, but between the slapping, the choking, the pocket knife at my neck… it was pointless."

"What else do you remember, Tania?"

She scoffed, chuckling ruefully at the same time, "Everything! Every thrust. Every grunt. Every grope. All divisible by three," she parted her mouth, her tear-stained cheeks now pink against the tone of her skin, "Ironically enough, two sets of threes is how long that disgusting moment lasted."

She leaned back abruptly and I quickly stood, "Excuse me for a second," she nodded, wiping once more her sodden face as I disappeared through the adjoining door to Olivia's office. They were all gathered in front of the mirror, listening, and watching my interaction with the young woman.

I quickly shut the door behind me and I looked at the ground, "Tori, everything ok?"

I nodded, "Yes," I said, picking up my head, "Lieutenant, from this point forward, you're only allowed to watch, but not listen. As of now, she is a patient in need of an assessment. She is protected under the HIPAA Privacy Rule and I will exercise it on behalf of her, is that understood?"

Olivia looked taken aback, especially since I had used her professional title instead of her name. She parted her mouth in an amused grin and she glanced behind her to the two blondes that stood side by side with an equally bemused expression across their faces. She nodded, placing her hands on her hips, "Completely," was her answer.

I watched her press the button on the wall to cut audio from the interview room, and she shook her head, turning to continue to look out to the room. I sighed, knowing that I would need to explain myself to Olivia once home. I re-entered the room and approached the chair I was sat at, rubbing my thighs as I did. I cleared my throat, "Tania, I've asked the Lieutenant to cut the audio from this point forward."

She furrowed her brow, clearing her throat, "W—Why?"

"Because before, I was here to assess whether or not your consumption of drugs had possibly damaged your testimony or affect it in some way or another, but now, I will be treating you like any other patient in need of a medical diagnosis."

She snickered, "I don't have a mental disorder, Doctor if that's what you're implying."

I nodded bashfully, "That's why I will be assessing you before providing with a diagnosis, Tania," she grunted, throwing herself back on the chair, "It doesn't have to be bad or even life changing or altering. It can be something as simple—so to speak—as PTSD. You just went through a traumatic experience and though, I don't treat adults per se, I can provide a recommendation, if that's what you want, for you to see someone."

Her eyes had many emotions: anger, confusion, sadness, betrayal but she acquiesced in a form of a nod, "Are you going to put me to sleep or something now?"

I tittered, shaking my head, "No, nothing like that. I'll just be asking some questions, simple questions."

"O—Okay."

* * *

I had been called as a prosecution's witness in order to testify that Tania's testimony was as truthful as it came and this wasn't fabricated or rehearsed as Defense was trying out to make. It had been a lengthy process, but here we were. The gallery was to be filled with the members of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit as well as Tania, coworkers, members of the press, and the public that could be interested in this affair. Olivia had testified on the very first day, and Rollins and Carisi had testified on the second day along with Tania and the Baxter's. I was a supplemental witness and was currently being sworn in by Sex Crimes ADA, Peter Stone.

"Could you please state your name and occupation for the record?" Stone boomed through the gallery.

"Dr. Victoria Reyes, Forensic Psychologist of the FBI," I answered as I crossed my legs.

"Dr. Reyes, you're FBI, can you tell the jury what it is you do exactly for Manhattan's SVU?"

I nodded, "Yes, I've been liaison for SVU for six years now."

"Have you worked with other departments?"

"Yes, with Manhattan Homicide."

"You were called by me to assess the victim's—Tania Jacobs—testimony and provide your expertise on whether or not this situation could've been produced as a side effect of the recreational drugs she had in her system," Stone continued, pacing in front of the witness box.

"Correct."

"And, during that assessment what did you discover, Doctor?"

I sighed, "I discovered that Ms. Jacobs showed signs and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder that at first I attributed to nervousness or shyness."

"And, what is obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD?"

"It's an anxiety disorder characterized by uncontrollable and repetitive behaviors you feel compelled to perform," I responded, training my stare to the jurors to my left.

Stone hummed, turning and walking to his desk to retrieve a folder of sorts, "Prosecution's evidence marked twenty b. Dr. Reyes, could you tell me what this is?" he handed me the folder.

I eyed it, "It's Ms. Jacobs toxicity report."

"And, could you tell us what does it say?"

I hummed, "There were high traces of methamphetamines and MDMA, as well as a BAC of 0.19."

The Defense attorney groaned in his chair, causing Stone to steal a glance, "Could you tell us the side effects of methamphetamines?"

"Sure, some of the side effects are extreme paranoia, hallucinations, uncontrollable repetitive-motor activity, and psychosis."

"So, could the uncontrollable repetitive activity be an after effect of being on methamphetamines?"

I shook my head, "Technically speaking yes, but not to the extent Ms. Jacobs exudes it."

He furrowed his brow, placing his hands in his pockets, "How so?"

"OCD is involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that occur over and over again in your mind. You don't want them, but you can't stop them. Unfortunately, these obsessive thoughts are often disturbing and distracting. It can be something as simple as cleaning or reorganizing the same pair of shoes multiple times until you feel a relief within yourself, even if it doesn't last long," I explained.

"Is there just one category of OCD?"

"No, there are five currently."

"And, Ms. Jacobs falls into which one?"

"Counters and arrangers," I answered, "She's obsessed with order and symmetry. They may have superstitions about certain numbers, colors, or arrangements."

"Is that why she's able to remember the longevity of the act, as well as the exact amount of times she was penetrated?"

I nodded somberly, "That is correct. During my assessment, I noticed that she did everything in threes, and after she shared what happened during the assault she said that everything was divisible by three."

"Is that what tipped you off, Dr. Reyes on her condition?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Doctor. No further questions."

I sighed, settling further in the chair as I relieved the pressure of the jitters on the stand. It's not like I hadn't done this before, but it was still very nerve-wracking to being subjected to the questions when most of the time, I was the one doing all the questioning and the listening as well. The defendant's attorney stood, a burly man that I recognized as Defense Counsel Buchanan.

"Dr. Reyes, why do people take MDMA or most commonly known as ecstasy?"

I bit my lip, "It's most popular in the party scene as it produces euphoria, promotes empathy with others and makes the music and lights at a club more enjoyable because it heightens the senses."

"And, the methamphetamine or commonly known as speed?"

I narrowed my stare at the man, noting the wry smirk on his face, "Because it increases endurance. Users can stay active longer and it has supposed benefits as an aphrodisiac."

"Ah," he mused, "in Ms. Jacobs testimony she stated willingly going to my client's apartment and stating that all she needed at that moment was a paramour for her nightly endeavors."

"I believe she also stated that it was meant as a joke," I replied.

Buchanan chuckled, "Dr. Reyes, what are the effects of an intravenous hit of speed?"

"Objection. Asked and answered," Stone defended.

"I believe, Your Honor, that only _side effects_ were discussed," Buchanan replied.

"He's right Mr. Stone, overruled. You may answer the question, Dr. Reyes."

I nodded, "It is the equivalent of ten orgasms, all on top of each other, lasting anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour, with a feeling of arousal that lasts for another day and a half."

He hummed, pacing, "So maybe, this could be Ms. Jacobs acting under the influence of drugs that made her horny—"

"Objection!" Stone shouted.

"—and once she realized where she was and with whom she was, she felt ashamed. Especially after being caught by an elderly couple in the early hours of the morning."

"Your Honor!" Stone continued.

"Mr. Buchanan, that's enough. Don't make me hold you in contempt."

He smirked, "Withdrawn, that will be all."

I nodded and looked at the judge, receiving her nod of approval as I turned to step down. Once I exited through the side, court was adjourned until the next day. I waited for Olivia and the squad to make their way towards me after having bid their farewell to Tania. They all sported grins of satisfaction as they sauntered their way to me. I knew the Defense was grasping at straws with their defense tactic, but that is why I was there, to help prove that Tania was as credible as they come, and that her drug consumption played little to nothing on what she had previously stated.

We all left the courthouse briefly, not wanting to linger around, and to promptly wait for Stone outside in the courthouse steps. Once outside, the media had damn neared attacked the ADA and the Defense lawyer, but SVU had made sure that Tania was escorted by court officials through the back and out of the grasps of the vultures that lurked on the outsides waiting to pounce on anything that may have some type of information to what was happening in the privacy of the gallery. The team seemed most relaxed after my testimony, and we were all at the precinct when Stone rolled in. He thanked me after having berated me for attempting to derail his case with the added possibility of a mental defect on his witness.

It wasn't until I pointed out the silver lining that he had calmed down, and though no one's condition should be used as a silver lining, I needed Stone to calm the hell down before Olivia grew tired of his tone towards me.

"I think that by now, Counselor you should learn to have a little bit more faith in me. What say you?" I replied, smirking at his direction.

It was never great when you had witnesses that were so far gone in drugs or had partaken in too much alcohol because in society's eyes, it would always be their fault. No matter the circumstances, no matter what, it would always be their fault. Sad world we lived in, one where a victim of assault got reprimanded and scolded for being assaulted. The only thing that served as consolation, the knowledge of people like my wife, and her team of angels… at least we got justice for Tania Jacobs.

* * *

 **A/N:** Follow me on twitter LEArtemis1 for updates on chapters, outfits, and other stuff. I'll be more interactive with you all over there as well! Make sure to review and leave me your thoughts! :)


	42. 2:49 am

**WARNING:** Female topics described. Mentions of blood. (for my squirmy readers)

* * *

 _ **2:49 am**_

(Olivia's POV)

" _M—Mommy_."

I was turning, shifting in my sleep when I heard it again, " _M—Mommy, please._ "

It was the gentle cry of one of my children and I turned, facing the small body that had its arms around their waist. I groaned as I raised my body on my elbow, reaching to turn on my bedside lamp. Once the area was illuminated I saw Cassidy's meek form, cowering almost, her body wracking in silent sobs, and I reached for her, "Cass baby, what's wrong?"

She whimpered, taking a step back, "M—Mommy," she repeated, and I adjusted my eyes to the light.

I gasped, quickly jumping out of the bed when I noticed her bloodstained pajamas. I knelt in front of her, placing my hands gingerly on her ribs, "Cassidy, you're going to be just fine, sweet pea. D—Do you understand what's happening?"

Her eyes were wide against her tear-stained face and she nodded, "M—My bed," she stuttered, and I stood.

I offered my hand for her to take and I guided her back to her room, filling up her tub with warm water for her to submerge. It was a miracle Victoria hadn't woken up; she'd become quite the light sleeper since Levi's arrival. Once the tub was full, I helped Cassidy disrobe and let her soak in the water whilst I fetched her new clothes. Victoria and I knew this day was to come at any point, and we had prepared for its arrival as well, having stocked her supplies underneath her bathroom vanity.

As I let the shock of the slight murder scene in her pants settle, I went to study Cassidy's bed. Indeed, the blood had soaked the area where my daughter lain and subsequently its sheets and had seeped through the mattress. I groaned, gathering everything to throw into the washer. As I passed her bathroom, I could hear the silent sobs that broke my heart. She was scared, so scared. I remembered the first time when the proverbial monthly visitor first made its appearance and I remembered how crucial it would've been had my mother handled the situation as Victoria and I had handled this prior to its arrival.

I'd been excited, ecstatic to finally be considered a woman, but in my mother's eyes I was now tainted: a fruit of the poisonous tree. She looked at me disgusted, scoffed, and walked towards the kitchen in search of her preferred poison. She locked herself in her room the entirety of the day, and when she came out, fighting a hangover was when she taught me how to work the pads, and how must I always hide the fact that I was bleeding to everyone. Not Victoria. She was free and open with the topic as soon as Cassidy had turned nine. She had explained the ins and outs of protecting her underwear now that she was transforming into a young woman.

She discussed pads, tampons, cups, and other form of preventative measures when in those months. Of course Noah, being the closest in age to our daughter seemed utterly disgusted by said topic, and rightfully so, but Victoria had told him that there was nothing wrong in bleeding. It was a perfectly normal thing to do when you had a uterus. Afterwards, and as time went by, Noah seemed perfectly fine around Cassidy's friends that would speak about it openly with either myself or my wife. He'd just roll his eyes and walk away, seemingly tired of the conversation at play.

Once having drenched the stains with stain remover and worked the washer in to starting, I returned to my daughter, sitting near the tub ledge, "How are you feeling, beautiful?"

Cassidy rested her head on the ledge near my arm and sniffled, "I'm sorry I freaked out, Mommy."

"Oh, sweetheart," I said, leaning to kiss her hair and run my hands through it, "It's completely normal to react the way you did. It happened to all of us at one point. It's ok, really."

She turned her head, looking at me with obsidian eyes, a few tears caught on her lash line, "I—Is it supposed to hurt?" she furrowed her brow.

I nodded, "It's called cramping, and yes, very much normal unless it's an unbearable pain. Does it hurt a lot?"

She shook her head, "The warm water helps. Is it also normal to be nauseous?"

I chuckled, "Yes, sweet pea, it is."

I continue to run my hands through her hair as she sniffled, providing the comfort that she wanted and needed, and after a few minutes unclogged the bathtub, telling me that she had everything under control from this point forward. I had set aside a fresh pair of pajamas, new underwear, and her protective pad for her underwear and instructed her to meet me in the kitchen for some painkillers and a small cup of hot chocolate. She smiled her beautiful smile and I left, leaving her to her devices as I exited her room.

Victoria and I almost collided with each other in the dark hallway, "Oh, Liv! I'm sorry," she whispered, "Come back to bed, I already fed him, and changed his diaper."

"Y—You weren't in bed?" I asked with a furrowed brow.

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms, "Uh, no. I heard Levi crying through the monitor and I went to him almost immediately. W—Why?"

I sighed, "Come on to the kitchen with me, please."

I began explaining what had transpired in the past thirty minutes or so of our daughter having walked into our room with bloodstains on her bottoms. Victoria couldn't contain her excitement, but I had explained to her our daughter's duress and the need of a new mattress for her in the upcoming days. As I got busy with the hot chocolate, Victoria located the heating pad and painkillers for Cassidy.

"M—Mommy," I heard her timid voice and I turned, stirring the warm liquid in the pot.

I saw her take a seat in one of the stools across from me, "Want to hand me three mugs from the cabinet, sweets?"

She smiled, hopping down and climbing the surface to reach for the cabinets. She placed the mugs next to the stove and sat down, "Cass," Victoria said breathily, "How are you feeling, babe?"

Cassidy looked down apologetically, "I'm ok, just… cramping."

I smiled, pouring the liquid into each of the mugs. Victoria walked behind me, placing her lips to my shoulder blade as she went to stand between Cassidy's dangling gams. She placed her hands on Cassidy's thighs, leaning to kiss her forehead, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, fire engine. I think you and your brother are more in sync than one may think," she smirked.

Cassidy giggled, "Here CJ, ibuprofen for the cramps," she took the pill between my fingers and placed it in her mouth, taking her mug to take a careful sip.

She swallowed the scalding liquid, licking her lips to savor the taste. Victoria prodded her carefully, and I knew what she was doing. Cassidy had suffered enough traumas in her short life and Victoria had expressed her fears for when this day came. She didn't want this life milestone to reset or affect her mental wellbeing and send her in an unforeseen set back. But, as parents, we were ready to face the challenges if the challenges came, and so far, she seemed to be handling it just well. She was a brilliant twelve year old, and I was beyond proud of my little fire engine.

Victoria and I shared the stories of our first visit, we shared embarrassing ones as well, anecdotes of pranks, times where our bodies had been so harsh on us that we had ended up in the hospital because of it. None of it was meant to scare her, but to let her know that all her feelings, questions, and concerns were valid and well placed. She asked about summer and the pool, about tracking privately her period, cramps, and other period hoax her friends had spoken about at some point.

It was an easy-going conversation, one where she could feel free to ask questions without the fear of being reprimanded or shunned for her intrigue. We laughed together at that ungodly hour, and when Cassidy started yawning, Victoria and I knew that it was best if she slept with us for the remainder of the evening. I checked on Levi before heading to my room where I found Cassidy already underneath the covers next to Victoria.

"So, am I supposed to sleep in the middle of you two?" I jest, receiving a giggle from my daughter and a shrug from my wife.

I shook my head in amusement, sighing as I made my way to my side of the bed, and effectively climbing over my daughter to settle in between the ladies of my life. I pressed my body over Cassidy's, squashing her between the mattress and I. I squirmed, apologizing profusely and subsequently hearing the fit of giggles as my hair tickled the freckled cheeks underneath me. I rolled over, landing safely on the mattress, and automatically feeling two bodies settle next to me. Victoria hiked up her leg over mine, pressing her body completely into me and she sighed contently, snuggling her face into my neck. Cassidy did the same, mumbling her love to us before closing her eyes.

"I love you too, red," she giggled softly, draping her arm over my stomach to reach for her mom's skin where she rubbed her fingers over to then have her hand rest over my stomach.

"I love you, Liv," Tori whispered near my jaw, placing her lips to it.

"I love you more," I replied, turning my head to have my lips pressed against hers in a lingering peck.

Victoria reached behind her to turn off the bedside lamp and sudden darkness took over the room. I was in between two bodies that radiated the utmost admiration and love for each of the people in the room. I was truly content being squashed and used as a human pillow, what better way than to fall asleep than with your partner and one of your favorite little humans? Tonight, life had presented a new challenge, a challenge that we needed to follow up and be careful with. Cassidy was still a rather green young girl, and though she understood what had happened to her in her early childhood, she still steered clear of any suspicious adult male.

My little redhead was a young woman now and I sighed, figuring how much time we really had with her before she was bringing boys around, before she was off to college, before she was getting married, and having kids. I sighed, shutting my eyes, _don't get ahead of yourself, Olivia. She's still your little girl._

My little girl, my beautiful Cassidy; with her freckled face and pouty lips… I smiled in my sleepy state, letting the soft breathing of Victoria's breath on my skin slowly lull me to sleep. She was still my little girl, my beautiful Cassidy.

* * *

 **A/N:** Short one for you lovelies! Thank you for sticking with me. I'm excited for the upcoming chapters, and as always, let me know some of your ideas, I'll try my best to do them justice. :)


	43. Minor Setback

_**Minor Setback**_

"Liv," I called out for her, leaning on the jamb of our bedroom door. "Baby, I've been thinking of taking Levi to the doctor."

Olivia looked up from her book, removing her glasses in tandem, "Why? Is—Is he all right?"

I smiled, nodding. "Yes, for the most part," I pushed myself off of the jamb, approaching the bed. "But, I don't know, there's something not sitting right with me, Liv."

She opened the comforter, dropping a leg to the ground, and opening her arm to me. I sighed, turning to sit in the space her legs had created for me. She wrapped her arms around my midsection, and rested her chin on my shoulder, pressing kiss to my shoulder blade. She pressed me into her front, nuzzling her face into my neck. Olivia knew exactly how to make me feel better, and sometimes, all I needed to relieve tension was a little skin-on-skin contact, and she was providing exactly that.

Levi had been meeting every developmental milestone for a baby his age, yet sometimes his reactions seemed delayed or nonexistent. He could sleep through anything when at that age the boys were such light sleepers, and unless you were standing within eyeshot, you would have difficulty catching his attention. I was beyond worried at this point. This was the time that a baby would start babbling and having conversations with the parents, yet he was quiet for the most part. Of course every baby was completely different, and maybe our son was just a _really_ good baby, but I wanted to make sure that he wasn't having any cognitive issues.

As a doctor, the concern would always be heightened for me, and sometimes I _could_ overreact, but thankfully, Olivia always supported any decision made with our children. Even if I _were_ overreacting, she knew that I was the one to worry about their physical and mental health.

"What do you want to do, Tori? I'll do whatever you want me to do."

I sighed, tilting my chin slightly to look at her sideways. "Can you take him to the doctor tomorrow for me? I know you have… _newer_ responsibilities, _Captain_ ," I teased, causing her to smile beautifully. "I'll be away all day tomorrow morning upstate and won't be back until almost four and I'm going to have to type up a report before I leave."

Olivia nodded, "All right, I'll take him first thing tomorrow morning, and if anything, he can stay with me in the office until the kids get out of school."

I bit my lip, rubbing Olivia's arms around my stomach, "Do you think I'm overreacting?"

"You're his mom—"

"So are you, Olivia, don't give me that!"

She sighed, "I didn't mean it like _that_. What I mean is, you carried him, baby. I trust you wholeheartedly if you say something isn't right."

"But, you still think I'm overreacting."

She opened her mouth and scoffed, smiling as she rested her cheek on my shoulder. "Sometimes you do," she laughed at my amused face. "But, I can tell that this time may not be one of those times."

"Liv, what if—"

"Hey, hey," she tightened her arms around me. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One day at a time, Victoria. This may be nothing or it may be something, but until we have a concrete answer, I won't allow you to get into your head."

I closed my eyes briefly, nodding when our bed dipped, and squeals could be heard all through our room. I opened my eyes with a smile and turned my head to see the boys mercilessly tickling Noah whilst Cassidy hiked up Levi on her hip as she approached the bed. Moments like these were the highlight of my life, just watching my kids interact with each other and love each other unconditionally. And, no one's to say that there were days where even sharing the same oxygen for too long would bother them to no extent, but those seldom existed and were few and far in between of all the good times they had together.

I settled further into Olivia's front, resting my head on her shoulder as I watched my children play with each other. Watching Levi react to his brothers attacking Noah was the most adorable thing ever. Him and Noah had a special relationship, just like him and Cassidy as well. The boys were far too young to always comprehend what was going on with their young sibling, but watching them interact was always funny. Levi flailed his chubby arms and kicked his legs and squealed contently when addressed by his siblings… maybe everything was to be all right in the end.

* * *

I'd been anxious for the entirety of the morning upstate. I had barely listened in on the session, I was constantly checking on my phone for any update, and I had to rewind and restart everything that was said prior to me zoning out in order to make a valid assessment. Thankfully, I had mastered the art of just going through the motions without actually being present. All the right questions were asked and if I focused, I could remember body language and able to make an accurate assessment.

Not even on my free time before the second part of the session was I able to stop pacing and dialing Olivia's number and extension. What was going on? Had everything gone okay at the doctor's?

I sighed, closing my eyes, and forcing myself to slow down. If anything major had happened, Olivia would've called or at least answer one of my many texts or calls. It was what I had told myself in order to be able to pull myself into the now. This was a high profile FBI case and I needed all my wits about me if I wanted to succeed.

That air of peace and tranquility I had reached before the second part of my session upstate had begun dissipating once I caught wind of the time as I sat behind my desk downtown when I noticed that my office had turned dark and the sudden fluorescent lighting of the building was the only thing preventing me from falling forward. The afternoon had turned into evening surprisingly quick, and I hadn't notice until my cellphone had vibrated near my hand. Lifting it, I smiled, until I read the urgency of the message:

 _I need you home. Now._

I wasted no time before I was on my feet gathering all my belongings. I was downstairs in the SUV in record time and up and over in our home in the Upper West Side in no time at all. I thanked the heavens for the time and the lack of traffic. My heart had been hammering against my ribs and I couldn't—for the life of me—control the sudden tremble my hand had gained.

I opened the door to our apartment, dropping everything on the ground next to the door. "Liv?" I called for my wife.

The apartment was dark, save for some lighting in the living room. I brought my wrist chest height, looking down to regard the time, it was barely nine at night, the kids should've been getting ready for bed yet there was this calming silence throughout the entire apartment.

"Olivia?" I called for her again, receiving no answer.

I walked the dimly lit apartment, checking my children's room as I made my way down the hallway. They boys weren't in their room, neither was Noah or Cassidy. Where exactly was everybody?

"Olivia, mami, where are you?" And, that's when I heard it, the soft coos coming from the kitchen.

I shed my shoes and approached the kitchen area, momentarily mesmerized by Olivia with our son on her hip as she spoke to him softly, diligently telling him every thing she was doing as she warmed his milk, "Liv?"

She turned around in a whip and I noticed her moist cheeks. Levi upon landing his beautiful stare on me smiled and began getting rowdy in Olivia's arms. "I—I'm sorry," she said, shifting Levi in her arms. "We didn't hear you come in."

I smiled softly and approached them, "It's ok. It's not like I was shouting to get your attention."

"Yea," she said teary eyed.

"Liv, what's wrong?" we swapped Levi in our arms once he leaned for me.

Olivia wiped at her face with the back of her hand, letting her fingers linger on Levi's bare chunky thigh. Se looked up at me, smiling sadly, and I worried something had happened. She tried, but failed to speak, only being able to scoff and chuckle as she tried to compose herself.

"Olivia, mami, you're scaring me," I tried, reaching out to touch her arm. "What's going on? Where are the kids?"

She smiled at me. "They're with Alex and Casey," she paused for effect. "Tori, we need to talk."

"Yea, no shit."

She giggled at my brash response, still unable to finish her train of thought. She kept looking at Levi as if he was going to go somewhere, when she shook her head, and opened her arms for Levi. "Levi," she called for him, digging her finger into his side.

The boy turned his head, smiling before leaning into Olivia's waiting arms and that's when I saw them; those things in his ears and I mewled, "Liv!"

"Yea," she lamented, resting her forehead on his temple.

I could automatically feel tears collecting on my lash line yet my words failed me. I knew something wasn't right! I knew something didn't feel right. I _felt_ it in my bones and I could see how heartbroken my wife was with the entirety of the situation. This is why she hadn't answered my texts or calls, the appointment had taken a turn, and Levi was the priority and rightfully so.

Now my mind was running at a dangerous speed wondering what had gone wrong.

Had it been the donor?

Had it been me?

Was it just a complication?

Was it temporary?

What happened?

Did Olivia have the answers?

"W—What happened?"

"Doctor says it may had happened when your placenta detached. The lack of oxygen to his brain for the momentary time could have damaged his auditory nerve," she turned her head to watch whatever sorrowful expression I had on my face. "They checked his eyes as well and these are just temporary. He'll have custom ones—just for him—in about two weeks or so," she finished, running her fingers through his curls.

"I—I did this to him?" I felt my lip tremble and Olivia took a step forward, grabbing at my wrist.

"No, no you didn't do this to him," she soothed. "The placental abruption wasn't your fault, Victoria, and we caught it at a perfect t—"

"Is he going to need surgery?"

Olivia sighed, "That wouldn't be discussed until _after_ his first birthday, but for now, the hearing aids would help him."

I felt myself nod. "Is he in—in pain? Is it complete hearing loss? Is it—is it autosomal?"

"Baby, baby," she called out for me, wrapping her free arm around my waist. "Breathe. Breathe," I nodded. "Right now they think is sensorineural, but the doctor says that it _may_ be mixed. We'll know more once the results for the tests are in."

"H—He can hear us now?" I asked, though I meant it more as a statement, at this point and moment I wasn't sure of anything.

Olivia chuckled, patting at Levi's back. "He sure can," she turned to smile at him. "Though, we have to start teaching him his name and keep the noise at the bare minimum until he's completely acclimated. You should've seen his smile when they put these on…"

I took a shuddering intake of breath and watched as his chin and lips got coated with saliva at his continuous attempt of blowing a raspberry at his mother. His dimpled cheek made show for me once Olivia schooled her expression to do it back at him. She kept cooing at our son in a smooth, velvet-like voice and he would answer back with loud babbles and squeals. He was still the same baby I'd left with a full belly of milk in the morning before work, only this time he had some… _assistance_ in hearing our voices and other sounds that at this point were completely new to him.

Like Olivia had said, we had caught this as such an early age that his development and social skills wouldn't be hindered by this minor setback. And, whom exactly was I kidding? This kid couldn't have been more social if there even was a possibility for it. He loved people. He loved being loved by people, and though wary of strangers, he enjoyed a full house. Be it of his siblings, of family, of friends… he enjoyed when our house was filled with kindred spirits and when attention was promptly divided between him and his siblings.

This was to be a challenging and trying detail for the rest of our lives or at least until we could decide the best course of action for him. But, for now, we would work with what was given to us.

Our youngest son was deaf and we were to tackle this just like we would any other thing: head-on, with grace, and _together_.

Worst things could've happened to him after complications with his birth, and though I was still not one hundred percent sure I was… _exempt_ of fault, I would find solace in my wife's arms. I knew she didn't blame me that much had been cleared at the start of this conversation, but I blamed my mother and myself for this. None of this would've happened if I hadn't let myself get so worked up by her and her incessant nagging and berating. Yet, not all blame should be placed on her. I did have a rather complicated pregnancy with many scares and threats to my life and that of my child's.

I sighed. "Levi," I said softly, watching him turn his face. "Hi there, bud!"

He smiled and threw himself at me. I kissed his sandy curls, nuzzling my nose where his soft spot was and inhaled, "We're going to be just fine."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know I have sort of abandoned this story—not really—I've just ben focusing on 'The Assistant'. I really want to finish it and I almost _am_ finished with it. Once I'm done with it, I shall return to this one. I've been working on a chapter that has been draining my soul, but I promise it'll be good. I hope you enjoy this one and of course feedback is always appreciated and loved. Thank you all for sticking with me, my little heart jumps with joy.


	44. My Only Family

_**My Only Family**_

(Olivia's POV)

"I haven't told anyone, but my brother, Simon… " I said to Amanda as I returned to my desk. "He died."

The expression on Rollins' face had mimicked mine once I had found out about his passing, "What?"

I was trying to keep composure, hang on by the slightest of threads as I shifted in my seat, "He overdosed."

"I'm sorry," Amanda said, taking a seat across from me.

I kept my eyes trained on the amount of work atop my desk. _Something_ had to keep me from crying and falling apart in front of my subordinate. Receiving the call, leaving my trainee, rushing over to Melinda's, and actually falling apart by his side had been entirely too much. All I kept thinking of was that fucking voicemail I'd left for him a couple of days prior and going home to my wife and kids had helped just a little, but I knew Victoria could read me like a book and though she had kept the prodding to herself, I knew she was wondering and wracking her brain for an answer.

It hadn't been that long ago that she had found out about my half-brother and subsequent niece and nephew. And, even though at the beginning I wanted nothing to do with Via, I'd allowed my daughter to see her and form a bond up until the incident at the clothing store. I knew I had to eventually let Tori know or this grief would consume me from the inside out. I was feeling guilty and I had no answers besides the ones Melinda had been able to provide for me. He _was_ clean, and what if he had overdosed that same day of our encounter?

What if the pressure of sitting down across Noah and my other children had pushed him to seek out a fix, something to take the edge off?

What if it had been me?

I knew how trauma worked and I knew what seeing someone from your past could do to you. I had gone through it with Lewis and I knew that many a day and night I had sat in my home downing glass after endless glass of wine attempting to drown that sorrow and pain, but not everyone was as strong and resilient as me, and I couldn't fault him for whatever had pushed him into taking that needle to his body.

"When he didn't show for lunch, I left him a message and I told him not to call me," I begun, attempting and failing at keeping my tears at bay. I licked my lips, willing some moisture away from my working tear ducts to my coat the sudden dryness I could feel upon my lips, "What if my message…" I whispered with a shaky breath. "Is the last thing that he heard?"

I could see Amanda's shaky form behind my tears and she shook her head, shrugging. "You don't know that," she paused for effect. "The life he led… more likely it was… just his time."

I nodded, fully understanding, but not quite comprehending what she was saying. How could it be 'just his time'? He was so young! I felt a tear make its way down my cheek before Amanda renewed her line of thought, "You need to go home… to your _wife_ and let her know how you're feeling. Let her know what's happening, Liv. Let her be there for you."

"Yea," I said with a rueful chuckle and wiping at my face. "I guess I should."

* * *

Walking into my boisterous home later that evening could let me know that Victoria had beaten me home and I had this fleeting idea of why. I really didn't want to pretend in front of my children, they were going to be able to read me like a book as well if I had to sit with them and actually interact when I wanted nothing more than just be swallowed by Mother Earth herself.

I walked down the hallway, dropping my purse and other belongings on the corner end of our sofa and making way towards the kitchen where all the noise was coming from. I was emotionally drained, between Lupe's case, Carlos' release, and Simon's death, my body was running on fumes and I could feel the weight of it all on my shoulders. I couldn't go on like this. It had to stop somewhere.

"Mommy, you're home!" shouted Hudson from somewhere in the kitchen.

I smiled, scratching at my scalp as I tried to come up with an excuse to go hole myself up in the room when I felt a little body at my knees. I chuckled softly, bringing my hand to a head of curls. "Yes, I _am_ home, bud," I searched the kitchen, looking for my wife when I felt her arms wrap around my waist.

"Hey you," she said softly, placing a kiss to my shoulder.

I cleared my throat, "H—Hey, I don't feel well. I'm going to lay down."

She hummed, releasing my waist until I felt her by my side, "Liv?"

"I'm—I'm okay. Just tired."

She furrowed her brow, "Well, which one is it? Are you not feeling well or are you tired?"

I hung my head, running my hand down Hunter's back at my knees, and cleared my throat once more. "Both," I said in a breathy whisper.

Victoria rubbed my arm, "W—Well, you go do that and if you're up for it, I can wake you for bedtime?"

I nodded absentmindedly, bending at my waist to press my lips to Hunter's head of hair. I hated lying to her like this, but what other choice did I have at the moment?

The kids were awake and they needed her more than I did… right? I shook my head, realizing that at this moment, I _needed_ them all at this time. I think more than they knew. I gulped down my tears, turning the opposite way so that I could hide my face from hers. I made my way to my room, dragging my feet yet attempting to keep my cool for just a little while longer.

I could hear Levi's excited coos, Cassidy's loud commentary, Noah's grunts as he played his video game, Hunter's laughter, and Hudson's squeals as I entered my room and shut the door behind me. I leaned against the door, dropping my head against the wooden surface and just letting myself go in my grief.

It hurt.

It hurt all over. I thought I new pain, but this was something I had never experienced before. Not even when my mother died was my grief this deep, but pair pain, hope, and guilt and you had the holy trifecta of grief.

I'd been reluctant to the idea of possibly rekindling with Simon. Even after his daughter had showed up to my home, I'd been dreading the day he came knocking by, but apparently, he hadn't had contact with his children since before his trial ended. I felt bad for him, I really did, but when he had shown improvement and looked in my eyes, I could see a redeemed man, and I'd agreed blindly to it. I was with Noah, after Tori had been busy with Levi and the boys, and Cassidy was away with friends when I had ran into him. It'd been less than ideal running into him when I was with one of my children, but he had asked, and I had answered and later on I'd admitted that he was my _oldest_ son.

I was more than regretting that voicemail at the moment and blaming myself more and more with each passing second. Not even the warm spray of the shower had been able to ease my addled mind and I had barely noticed the water turning in temperature until I shivered. I had eased into comfortable clothing and into the cool sheets of my bed, but I hadn't noticed until I smelled her: I was lying on her side of the bed and I smiled ruefully, tucking my face in her pillow, and breathing her in. Amanda had been right, I needed to let her in, let her know what was going on with me, and maybe she could be my wife _and_ therapist.

I could feel her warm scent lull me to sleep and I think I had had restful sleep, because the next time I opened my eyes, everything was dark. I could see nothing but the moonlight creeping through our bedroom windows. I shifted, trying to feel her by my side, but she wasn't there so I turned once more, facing the bedside table and setting my eyes on the warm blue lighting of the LED numbers: seventeen past ten. I sighed, rubbing my hands across my face. She hadn't waked me to kiss the kids goodnight. I could feel the tears stinging me once more when I heard the bathroom door open.

I sat up, watching her run a towel through her hair when she looked up, "Oh, baby, did I wake you?"

I smiled weakly. "No," I responded shakily, turning to turn on the lamp.

She hummed, approaching the bed. "Liv, what's going on? You—You've been… preoccupied these past few days," she sat next to my legs, bringing her hand to grab my chin. "You're… hurting?" she said with a cock of her head.

I closed my eyes, scoffing. "Yea," I could hear the shakiness in my voice when I felt her climb over my lap.

She settled next to me, on her knees, and she sighed. "If—If I'd done something to—to upset you or…" she sighed, not being able to continue her train of thought. "If you can't speak to me—and I'm your wife—then baby, I think you should see someone. Maybe, _we_ should see someone… together. I'm hopeful we can get through th—"

"Oh my God, Tori, no," I interrupted her quickly once I realized where she was going with this. "Jesus, Victoria, no. I just don't know where to start."

"Well," she smiled beautifully, relaxing her brows. "Usually the beginning is a good place to start. I'm here," she finished, grabbing my hand.

I licked my lips, squeezing her hand before beginning, "The other day when I was with Noah, I ran into Simon."

"Si—Simon, as in your _brother_ Simon?" I nodded. "W—When were you—" she took a deep breath, "What did he say?"

"He, uh, he told me he was clean, living in Jersey, and—and that he hadn't seen his children in a long time," she was quiet allowing me to lead the conversation and set my own pace. "He asked me about Noah… and I told him about my children, and—and you. He asked for lunch, and I said yes," I finished in a breathy whisper, hanging my head.

"Oh, Liv," she mused.

I could feel the tears that had threatened me begin to fall, "He—He's dead."

Victoria gasped, "Olivia!"

"He overdosed," I sobbed quietly, feeling her hand tighten in mine.

"Liv, b—baby, I'm so sorry," I felt her free hand running down my cheek, wiping away with her thumb the tear streaks she could find. "I'm so sorry."

"Simon, it's me and Noah, and we are here waiting for you," I began softly, leaning into her hand for comfort. "Listen, uh, I knew that this was a bad idea, so… don't—don't bother calling me back. As a matter of fact, Simon, don't—don't _ever_ call me," I looked up, finding her grey stare boring at the side of my face. She was confused at my monologue, "I—I said that to him when he didn't show up to lunch."

Her brow furrowed and she shook her head, "Liv—"

"He was my _only_ family."

I heard her gasp before I could see her face crumble and fall apart and she eased on the hold in my hand, pulling back from me.

I realized then what had flown out of my mouth and more tears gathered in my eyes when I saw her retreating to get out of the bed. Once her feet had landed on the wood floor, I fumbled with the sheets in order to get to her. I whimpered once I couldn't get out fast enough and saw her form exiting our door. I stood in haste, lifting my knees in order to escape the tangle of sheets. I left the room behind her, calling out for her in order to stop her and possibly explain that I had not meant it the way it had sounded.

I rounded the corner where I found her staring at the mantle, "Tori—"

She turned around in a whip, tapping a picture frame on the heel of her hand. "I remember this picture being taken like it was yesterday," she began nostalgically. "He'd been running around the apartment when the twins were born and I was texting you and all of a sudden he stopped and said, _Mama, take a picture for Mommy!_ And, he stopped and posed," she smiled brightly, taking a step towards me and shoving the frame in my hands. "It is still my favorite picture of Noah to this day."

She had handed me a picture of Noah, the same one I had displayed on my desk because yes, it was a favorite and he looked incredibly adorable with his pouty smile and his blue eyes, curls falling in his eyes. He had done that, for me. No one had prompted him to do so, no one had ordered him, he'd done it to make my day better, and ease the burn of not being able to be with them in our home.

"He is your family, Liv. He made you a mother," she continued softly when she placed yet another picture on top of the one I was currently holding.

I mewled, "Tori—"

"Do you remember that day?" she asked in a cool satin voice.

There was no anger. There was no resent. She was cool, calm, and collected and her compassion—her understanding made more tears spring into my eyes.

I nodded and she renewed, "That was the day we told Cassidy that you were _officially_ her mother. The both of you couldn't stop smiling that day… That little girl sees stars for you and she saw you as family even when you were just Livia."

In my hands, staring back at me was a picture Victoria had been able to snap when I told Cassidy that to the law, I was officially her other parent. That now, no one could say she wasn't my daughter because some piece of paper now made it official, but it didn't matter because to me, she would always be my daughter no matter if she had my last name or not.

She had jumped and squealed with joy, looping her arms around my neck, and tightening her hold on me as all the excitement coursed through her body. She had pressed her lips to my cheek and I had laughed heartily, closing my eyes as her hands pushed on the other side of my head. That was the moment Victoria had caught, and it was beautiful. I loved that picture so much that it had been my lock screen for weeks.

I lifted my eyes, sniffling in the process and saw her smiling at another picture frame when she placed it on top of the other two in my hands. "We both have this picture on our desks, don't we?" she paused, allowing me to look down at my hands. "You were all sick save for Hudson and I and he had the brilliant idea that since Mommy's head was hurting, a kiss would make it all better," she giggled, shaking her head. "Those boys are the family _we_ started. The family _you_ wanted to have with _me_."

I could feel the tears stream down my face and land on the glass of the picture frame. I was lain on our couch with Hunter draped along my body with his head resting on my chest. My eyes were closed, but I had the faintest of smiles on my lips when I had felt Hudson's rosy lips on my forehead. I had brought my free hand to his back to hold him in place and to let him know that I was awake and aware of the gesture he was making.

"Those boys are _yours_ , Olivia. They couldn't resemble you more if they would've actually came out of you," she chuffed. "I was just the vessel that carried them."

"That's not true, and you know that," I retorted, glancing up at her, noticing she had yet another frame in her hands. Our mantle now looked a little emptier, but the walls and shelves surrounding us hadn't looked more full of love staring back at me if I'd planned it.

She shrugged, smiling, "We'll agree to disagree."

I smiled through my tears and sniffled once more, looking down at the beautiful picture in my hands when she slipped another one, a very recent one of Levi and I, and I whimpered, having caught on to what she had been trying to do and prove since the very beginning, yet this picture was the one that made me sob the hardest for some reason.

It was a profile shot of Levi and I.

I had Levi in my hands, elevated over my shoulders with our foreheads touching. He had his chunky fists in his smiling mouth and I was grinning at him beautifully. His light brown eyes were focused on mine and mine on his. This had been the day he had gotten his permanent prescription for his hearing aids placed and he could finally hear us clearly—according to the specialist.

"A blonde donor, so that they can look like my mom," Tori commented. "That's what you said when we were discussing donors. You don't make those kind of choices if you're not thinking about _family_ , Liv."

She began taking away the frames in my hands when I looked up to catch our wedding picture poster above our mantle. This had been her intention all along, to prove to me that Simon _wasn't_ my only family. At one point, sure he had been, but once Noah had came into my life, that had been far from the truth then and there.

We were in the strawberry fields of Central Park, where we had chosen to take our wedding day pictures. It was a tight shot of our profiles. Our foreheads were resting together and I had my eyes closed, a smile on my lips, and I was holding her neck. She on the other hand, had her eyes open with a beautiful smile on her lips, and I knew she was pulling me in by my waist. Even though that moment couldn't be appreciated in the picture, I knew it was happening, and I would forever know it'd been happening.

The day her daughter had called me Mommy for the first time was the day I knew she would forever be someone I was to keep around, regardless if we worked out or not. Back then I had this vulnerable little girl calling me Mommy and later on, my son had started calling her Mama, I couldn't just up and leave after our children had grown attached to each other. But then, I fell in love. I fell in love with her eyes and the way they would look at me. I fell in love with her lips and the way they said my name. I fell in love with her hands and the way they would touch me. I fell deeply in love with her and her essence, and I couldn't get enough.

Once I had her answer and we actually wedded, I was always walking on cloud nine. My children were my safe haven, my distraction from all the horrendous shit that lingered on my desk, but her—Victoria—she was my home. I felt the safest when she was around. I felt the lightest when in her arms. And, when she would look up and award me those beautiful grey eyes, God, I could die a thousand times and still be the happiest woman on earth.

"You chose me to be your family—to be your wife. You chose this life for yourself, Olivia. The day we walked down the aisle and you accepted the ring you so fiercefully wear from me, you _gained_ more family: mine."

I turned, having felt her breath next to me when I fell into her lips. She grabbed my neck, pushing my face to hers. Her lips were feverish against mine, her teeth ruthless against my flesh, and I loved the way she felt underneath my fingertips.

Family, this is what it felt like. It felt like love, unconditionally. It felt like safety, stable. It felt like support, fearless. All those things and more is what I felt in this moment. Of course I had lost the only blood relative I'd come to know after my mother, but through the years I'd come to gain an older brother in Fin, a sister in Rollins and Casey, a little brother in Carisi, and more importantly I'd gain my own family in my children and my wife.

She broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against mine, elongating the moment between us. "I'm sorry for you loss, Olivia. I know you weren't as close as I think you would've liked to be to your brother, but a loss of a loved one is a loss nonetheless, and I cannot begin to fathom the ache you must've been feeling, but Liv, I'm here," she said, giving a slight shake to my cheeks.

I nudged our noses together, smiling. "I love you," I whispered against her lips. "And, I'm sorry for not telling you about it sooner."

"I love you, too, and you don't have to apologize—"

"I hurt your feelings with what I said."

She shook her head, "Just a little, but you were hurting more. I'm the one who should apologize for not noticing sooner."

I smiled, kissing her lips once again.

No matter what happened in life, I could always be sure that my family would stand by my side—even during the most challenging trials and tribulations.

* * *

 **A/N:** I felt inspired after last week's episode with the whole Olivia and Simon thing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Reviews are wonderful, so don't be shy! :)


	45. Stockbridge

_**Stockbridge**_

How long had it been?

How long had it been since I'd seen her? Since I'd had seen that stunning gaze of hers…

People loved to compliment my eyes yet seemed to forget that my sister's were far more alluring in my opinion. Vienna had always been a head turner and God only knows what would've been her fate had her illness hadn't consumed her. She had the capabilities of being 'normal', but she rather be unhinged, volatile, and unpredictable than stable and carefully monitored for the rest of her life.

 _That_ was something she was not, a conformist. She was a seeker and maker of her own happiness and destiny, and she'd risk it all just to be happy and free.

Besides what my mother thought, what the rest of the world thought, I was hurting deep and burning raw on the inside at the thought of having my sister so far away from me. We had shared a womb at one point, been each other's confidant, partner in crime for it to end the way it did.

I would sit and watch my boys interact with each other, the way they would understand each other, conversate, and empathize without the need of exchanging a single word and I would smile, reminiscing the time shared as such with Vienna. Even with all this time apart, I could still feel her in my bones. Her sadness was mine, her mania was my anxiety, and her calm was my happiness. We would forever be linked to each other, no matter how many miles or how many worlds you could put between the both of us she and I would always be one.

I sighed, recognizing the winding road that would take us to the facility where my sister had taken residence at my insistence. One of the best places the northeast could offer and the only place I would agree for her to be at. My parents had insisted on a facility nearer to home, my mother had fought me for her to be in her care, and yet, it was still my decision to send her away, almost two hundred miles away. It was for her safety, for her wellbeing, and my peace of mind. I knew I wasn't going to be able to function if I knew she was only a couple of blocks away. It had to be fair for her as well as for me, so this was the most viable option for the both of us.

Olivia delivered a squeeze to my thigh and I turned, watching the concern etch her brow. "I'm nervous," I admitted, grabbing and placing her hand over my heart. "Why am I so nervous?"

"Baby," she shook her head, "the last time you saw her was almost six years ago."

I leaned back, feeling my heart clench at the sound of how long it had been since Vienna and I had been in a room together. I held on to Olivia's hand over my chest, "I don't think I can do this, Liv."

I was sounding out of breath and she squeezed my fingers, "Take a deep breath for me, Victoria. You're working yourself up there." I did as my wife bid me to and I could hear the shakiness of my own breaths, "Tori, we're almost there. If you really want me to turn around I will do so."

I shook my head, nearly gulping at the sudden anxious behavior that had taken over me, "No, no, no. I _have_ to do this, Liv."

"No, you don't, Victoria. You _want_ to do this, which is different."

"I won't argue semantics with you, Olivia. I get it, you're not happy about this, but can you at least pretend that you're here for _me_ ," I released her hand, feeling it drop with a soft smack on my lap.

She sighed, taking her hand back to maneuver the steering wheel down the road that would direct us to my sister's hospital. Of course she'd disagreed and had damn near thrown a fit once she found out my decision of coming to visit Vienna.

I admit, I had… _sprung_ this on Olivia, but we'd had conversations about it over the years and though apprehensive, she understood where I was coming from. At one point it had been like her and Simon. She didn't need to do it, yet she chose to agree and sit down with him for the sake of her own sanity and to maybe give the kids a chance of a more completed family. Of course, that was still a touchy subject for her—and a hit below the belt if I chose to bring it up.

It was a gravelly road that housed the parking spaces for visitors at the hospital. You had to call in advance in order to allow for the patient to adjust and acclimate to the idea of sitting down with you. Since Vienna was on heavy cocktail of medications to control her mania, the slight PTSD of her condition, the depression, the bipolar disorder, and her somewhat schizophrenic tendencies it had been let known that she had taken the news well. She wasn't ecstatic to see me, but she wouldn't turn the idea of it either. She was fully functional once under control, it was when she started declining her medication that shit hit the fan.

Once Olivia parked, I hopped off of the SUV, waiting for my wife to circulate the car in order to walk up together. "Hey," she said, grabbing my arm. "I'm sorry. I just—"

I placed my hand in hers, effectively silencing her. "I get it, Liv, all right? I get it. I wouldn't want you here if tables were reversed, but there's this _hole_ in my soul and I need to do something about it," I was winded, being here, so close to my sister. "I can't continue on like this, Olivia."

She pushed into me, framing my face with her hands. I could feel her soft breath against my mouth and nose when I closed my eyes, letting myself feel Olivia around me, "I get it, Tori. I get it, but _you're_ my priority. _Your_ safety is _my_ concern."

I nodded, feeling her lips on my forehead, "Thank you."

"Come on," she said, stepping back, and allowing me to tug behind her.

Olivia had left her gun in the glove compartment in the SUV, but had brought her Captain's shield with her. We had left virtually every single one of our belongings in the car, truly not needing any of them.

I'd been told that it was better to tie my hair back, up on my crown or braid it before being allowed through the doors of the facility. I slipped Olivia the several pictures I had brought with me of the kids, her, and I to show Vienna to quickly braid my hair over my shoulder. Olivia's short hair wouldn't be a problem and as she returned the several stills, the nurse behind the counter asked for our wrists. We were slipped mint colored bracelets that read visitor in block letters. They had our names and the name of the person we were here to see. The bracelet had a barcode that would allow us to give us access to certain areas in the facility.

We were directed through a hall and then to the left where we were to wait for an orderly to bring Vienna and it would be up to her where we would go and what we would do. This was her neutral space and I was at her mercy and would play by her rules. The day reflected all the emotions I'd been going through. It was chilly, cloudy, and foggy and through one of the windows of the room I could see the open yard, filled with green and several fountains. I stood in front of the window, gently thumbing the photographs in my hands. Everything was so sterile… I hated somber surroundings. I could feel my anxiety building and this place did nothing but encourage the tendency of feeling nervous.

I felt hands surround my waist and gentle lips on my shoulder and I relaxed into Olivia's embrace, "Breathe, Victoria. Breathe."

But, how could I breathe when I was seconds away from landing eyes on someone that now had become a complete and total stranger? Then I saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_.

It was Vienna.

The lively volcano that was my sister walked poised next to the orderly that was escorting her through the grass. I swallowed hard, glancing at my reflection against the window when I felt a tug on my arm. Olivia swiped her wrist over a black box next to the door that led to the outside. I carefully stepped down the steps and walked with my hand in Olivia's. The fog teased and lingered on the wet grass, making my even nervous self, more nervous than before. As I stepped outside and Vienna came closer, I could see a soft glint in her eyes.

"Hey Toots," she said with a smile. "I see you brought back up."

I glanced back at Olivia, whom still held on to my fingers, but was a step behind me. I smiled at the term of endearment, "No, no back up. Just you and me."

Vienna raised her brow, smirking in the process, but turned halfway to meet the eyes of the orderly that had escorted her up to this point. I squeezed Olivia's fingers, looking at her over my shoulder and saw her smile and give a nod, tilting her head sideways to tell me that she'd be around in her own way. The orderly stayed with Olivia and as Vienna turned to lead us to a nearby path that circled the yard, I could feel my heart galloping in my chest.

"You're nervous, Toots. Relax, I've been heavily dosed," she quipped, leaning to my side.

I chuckled, placing my hand on my forehead. "Uh, yea, yea," I cleared my throat, attempting to find the right words to face my sister with. "I've been nervous since this morning."

"Why?"

"It's been six years, Vi. I—I—the guilt has been eating me up…"

She snickered. "You and your bleeding heart," she mused with a shake of her head. "I know what I did to you, how much pain I caused our parents, yet _you're_ the one that feels guilty? Can't relate."

I was a little taken aback from her comment, but this was Vienna: cocky and grandiose, and for a minute there, I was… relieved that she truly was doing ok. I worried my bottom lip as we slowly walked the path. She had her hands inside her zip up pockets, her hair tickled her cheeks as the wind blew, and her pouty lips were curved into a smirk. We'd grown up with the same face and to this day, I never got tired of staring at hers.

"You're doing that thing you used to do when we were little, Tori."

I smiled, waiting for her to turn and face me when I nodded, "You remembered."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Of course I remember," she furrowed her brow in confusion. "It was like you were fascinated at our beauty or something."

" _Our_ beauty?" I smirked.

She scoffed, "Fishing for compliments, eh? We have the same face, Victoria, por favor."

I shrugged, glancing forward to find Olivia laughing with the orderly, "I just always thought you thought you were better than me."

"Still am," she said, knocking her elbow with mine. "I'm a realist."

"Ah," I mused with a nod.

We fell silent once more. I wasn't going to force our interaction. Our pauses felt heavy on me yet there was still the calming aura between the both us, "What do you have there?"

"Huh?" she pointed at my hand by tilting her chin and I glanced down, noting the picture in my hands. "Oh, I wanted to show you your niece and nephews."

"Ooh, plural," I handed her the pictures and she smiled at them. She held up a picture of Cassidy with Noah and one of the boys, "How old are they?"

I smiled, "The redhead, Cassidy is thirteen. Noah, the blue-eyed boy is eleven. And, the brown-eyed boy is Hunter and four."

She flipped to the next picture; one with Hunter and Hudson laughing at a whip cream covered Olivia. She raised her brows, "The cop again?"

I smiled sheepishly, "She's my wife. Her name is Olivia."

"You _married_ her?" I nodded. "And, you have twins?" she smiled at this, running the pads of her fingers over their glossy faces.

"She makes me happy, Vi," I smiled at her when she turned the pictures in her hand, drawing my attention back to the photograph. "Yes, Hunter and Hudson. Hudson is the one with the grey eyes."

"They have the same face, too."

"That they do," I bit my lip.

Vienna suddenly seemed a little somber and then she flipped to the next picture. It was a picture of me with Levi. My lips were on his chunky cheek and his face was twisted into the most beautiful grin, "He looks like… Olivia."

"Levi, he's our newborn," I explained, watching her smile. "A lot of people seem to think so."

"Is he hers?"

I shook my head, "Biologically, no. We went with a donor that resembled her mom."

Vienna hummed, flipping to the last picture. It was a gag picture at our last family portrait session. Olivia and I were sitting on the ground, our lips pressed together whilst Hudson pouted on Olivia's lap. Hunter sat on my lap, yawning and Levi was propped against our knees, crying. Noah stood behind Olivia, sticking his tongue out at Cassidy whom stood behind me with her arms crossed, and a scowl on her face. All the kids' reactions were entirely genuine and the photographer had asked us to kiss in order to make it a gag photograph. That picture had ended up being our Christmas card and was now displayed above our bed, and in our offices. It was hilarious, and I couldn't love it more.

Vienna snickered, "May I keep this one?"

I nodded, "You may keep all of them. They're for you."

"Thanks," she said, tucking her hands and the photographs in her front pocket. We continued to walk in silence before stepping onto the grass and approaching the two-tier fountain that was on display.

I eyed her curiously, following behind, and watching as she sat on the rounding border, folding over to undo her shoes. She turned around and dunked her feet in; she shivered, turning to look over her shoulder at me. She had mischievous smile on her face, and automatically I knew, she was up to no good. I glanced around, waiting for any of the staff members to come and reprimand her, but everyone just kept moving about. I shook my head and approached her, folding my legs underneath myself as I sat.

I watched her wiggle her toes on the shallow water, the bottom cuff of her jeans staining a little darker from the water touching its seams. She splashed with her feet, holding her upper body with her arms at her sides. She looked up at the sky with a smile and I could see the peachy fuzz of her face stand at attention. The day was heavily cloudy, only grey skies above and fog at our feet. It was chilly out, so her having her feet in the water that was undoubtedly cold came as a surprise.

"It allows me to feel," she conceded, resting her cheek on shoulder. "The medication… _numbs_ me some times, and this, allows me to feel."

I hung my head, biting my lip, "Vienna—"

She said in hushed tones, leaning towards me, "I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me."

I looked back at her, worried that somehow I had triggered her, but she was still with me. This was still Vienna, the same active volcano I'd grew up with. "Vienna, I'm your sister," I replied.

We looked at each other fiercely, icy grey against shining yellowing. So much raw emotion, so many things to be said, so much guilt and regret… but love, besides it all, there was still love between us. Even after Vienna did what she did to me when we were teens, even after being forced away, after living a life that wasn't mine, after the kidnapping, and the torturing, and the near death, I still loved her with every fiber of my being. What I had with Vienna, I would never find with anyone else. No matter how hard I looked and how far I searched, Vienna's and I connection would be something irreplaceable.

Eventually, I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," I began apologetically, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just… _don't_ hate you, Vienna."

Vienna looked angry, her emotions raw and bubbling at the surface. She turned her head, placing her chin on her shoulder instead, "Why the hell not?"

I shrugged, "I am you."

I watched as Vienna's eyes watered and I smiled softly. "After everything I did, you _still_ don't hate me?" she sniffled, shifting forward to run her fingertips underneath her eyes.

"Why would I fault a dog for barking or a cat for purring?" she rolled her eyes and I tittered. "You can hate me all you want, Vienna Carolina, but that doesn't change anything."

"Why are you here? Why did you come?"

"I came here, because I miss you. I came here because for some _twisted_ reason, I feel guilty. I came here because our mother blames me—"

"Ah, so this is about Mom?" she interrupted with a smirk.

"I haven't seen or spoken to either Mom or Dad since the day I gave birth to Levi."

"Why? What happened? You were always Papa's favorite."

I shook my head, looking down at my hands, and up at her inquiring face. "Mom insulted Hunter and I flipped. I was pregnant with Levi and I guess the exertion, the stress of the pregnancy prior to that just sent me into early labor and it detached my placenta," I looked away, trying to find Olivia when I spotted her sitting down next to the orderly, carefully keeping an eye on us. "Levi's deaf because of lack of oxygen to his brain, Vi. And, I blame Mom for it."

"Mom could never stand _not_ be the center of attention, Tori. It's why her and I get along so well, because I'm the same."

I scoffed, throwing the braid over my shoulder, "You can say that again…"

I had my head hung, my fingers tracing the pattern of the stone when she grabbed my hand; "I hate you for doing this to me. This isn't life, Victorina."

"Vienna—"

"But, I get it. _This_ ," she said looking around, "this is my life sentence."

She squeezed my fingers in her hand, smiling softly at my face when she scooted closer to me. I could feel her cold hands against the warmth of my cheeks when she leaned her forehead against mine. I shivered, feeling the coldness of her body react against the warmth of mine. She tipped her chin, placing her lips against my forehead and once her forehead rested against mine, I did the same.

It felt hours sitting like this, her body never warming up against the warmth of mine when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Olivia, smiling down at me when I noticed the orderly behind her. Vienna sighed, taking her feet out of the water and pressing them against the grass.

She stood, "It's quiet time."

"Right," I conceded, standing next to my wife. "Listen, Vienna—"

"Thank you for coming today, Toots, and thank you for these," she said, patting the front pocket of her zip up. "It was nice seeing you," she smiled, taking a step backwards. "Take care of her, Olivia, and don't let her come back here."

"What?"

"Bye Tori, and remember to breathe, stupid!" she finished, turning on her heel, and walking towards the building.

"She—She doesn't want me back," I shakily asked Olivia. "Why doesn't she want me back?"

Olivia pulled me into her embrace, cupping my head against her neck, and pressing a kiss to my hair. "She knows you more than anyone else, Tori. You've even said that before," Olivia rested her head against mine. "Listen to her."

I sighed heavily, feeling a giant pressure on my chest. I'd heard her when she'd said to breathe and I figured then that I had barely taken air to my lungs. The orderly cleared his throat, breaking Olivia and I from our little bubble, when he knelt to pick up Vienna's shoes. He directed us back to the building where we scan the bracelets in order to gain access through the doors.

Maybe this is what we both needed: closure. We'd spent so much time hating each other, so much time hiding from the other, and when we were finally underneath the same roof, she had almost murdered me. I'd been able to apologize, and in her own way, she'd apologized as well.

I could still feel myself breathing raggedly that I could barely remember leaving Stockbridge behind me, but I left knowing that she was well cared for. That maybe she wasn't happy, but was as happy as she could be considering being in a place like this. She'd seem genuinely happy at the knowledge of her niece and nephews, and she'd seem to enjoy my company for a little bit. I sighed, leaning on Olivia as we reached our car, not even a glass of wine could calm my nerves tonight.

* * *

 **A/N:** When I make reference to Vienna's yellow eyes, think Hilary Duff's eyes. They're light brown, but they look near yellow. Thank you for reading, and review! :)


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